Thursday, June 11, 2009

Vote for the Worst!

Warning: This post is dripping with sarcasm and shouldn't be taken seriously--except for the cool part I'm being serious about that, OH! and the part where I tell you about the "Other Nominees" that is true and unsarcastic.

The first time I found out about the site, VOTE FOR THE WORST.COM was when Sanjaya on American Idol season SIX kept getting through. My co-worker walks in STEAMING mad and plops himself down on my desk and says in a huff, "I found out through reading on (random website) that the only reason that *$#* Sanjaya is getting through is because of this website called VOTE FOR THE WORST.COM." Then he proceeds to grab my mouse and type in the designated URL to show me what he was talking about.

Sure enough. It said on the Headliner…"help us get Sanjaya to the finals" or something similar to that.

I huffed and puffed with my co-worker, supporting him in his disgust, and then when he left I spent the next hour laughing my butt off at the blog posts, cause I have wicked twisted humor like that!

Why am I telling you this you ask?

Well you know that HOT little button up there on the right hand side bar that says I have been nominated for "Hottest Mommy Blogger". (Actually I paid Crash really well to nominate me--anybody need to earn a few bucks next year? Or better yet… WHO WANTS TO WIN A MILLION DOLLARS and be my campaign manager?)

Well I've been surfing along the internet and have noticed a crime happening. There are like UMPTEEN MILLION people nominated for that SAME blog award!!! Here I thought I was special, loved, and adored… yet I looked through those other nominees, and I'm not going to lie to you folks… I'm the Sanjaya of the group!

My best PHOTOBOOTH picture EVA!

If they had a VOTE for the WORST-shouldn't-have-paid-someone-to-nominate-them BLOGGER.COM site--they would be beggin for votes for me!

The only thing I have going for me is that I lose a pound for every vote!

And yes, that was TOTALLY a fat joke!

But the other nominees, and these are just the few I know,Scary Mommy, Alyson, and Heidi… are incredibly worthy of the button, have blog stalkers because they are funny and excellent writers, and deserve to win. So they REALLY should get all the votes.

That's what I think about that!

So ALLS I'm sayin is… VOTE FOR THE WORST… or at LEAST put me up for Best Blog Design award… cause if that header isn't the coolest thing you've ever seen since Fraggle Rock, I don't know WHAT is!

PlusI have a family reunion I need to lose 15 pounds for cause nobody wants to be known as the cool FAT Aunt and I've already got ONE thing against me… I'm WAY cool!

*Please put in comments what you would like me to nominate you for and where I send the money when you vote for me. Thank. You.

1. For every twitter where you pimp out my nomination you will get a new car of your choice.
2. For every Facebook post you do to YELL out my nomination you get paid vacation time and trip ANYWHERE you want to go.
3. If you open multiple accounts, vote for me, so that I can illegally win, you will win the BAIL OUT money.
4. If you start a website called VOTE for the WORST-shouldn't-have-paid-someone-to-nominate-them BLOGGER.COM site and put me in the headlines everyday you will get three wishes from a Genie in a bottle.
5. If you nominate me for BEST BLOG DESIGN--I'll drop kick you.

P.S. In order to vote you have to tell the story of your life and give your SS# and all Acct#'s to get an account, then, and ONLY then, will it allow you to vote. I'm towards the END of the list, push past all the actual HOT Mommy's and then you'll see me.


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