Monday, November 23, 2009

I got rushed by the EMT's

OH MY GOSH guys! Do I have a bathroom story for you!

Your. Welcome.

Okay okay, so I am attending a movie at the theater with my little family, (MountainSport Man, Dcar, and Peeps), (No it was NOT New Moon, I had already went to that movie in the morning! Hehehehe, sidenote: It was WAY better than the first movie, and all ya'll that are Edward fans cannot tell me you prefer Edwards pastey white body to Jacobs hunk of flesh! If you do I'll know you lie! So what if his nose is a little weird, with that body, many things can be forgiven. Okay, moving right along…) we went to Planet 51. (Also a very good movie)

Anyway, because of the great movies that opened this weekend, New Moon, Blind side, Planet 51, there were a lot, and I mean A LOT, of people at the theatre…so you'll understand my disgruntlement when my little girl had to go to the bathroom while waiting in line to buy the tickets.

As soon as we get our tickets we bolt into the movie theatre. My husband gets in line for popcorn and stuff (YES, I HAVE to get movie popcorn when I go to the movie, it's blasphemous if you don't, just sayin) I take Peeps to the bathroom.

We swing open the door with force, I was going to get through this as fast as possible, plus as soon as I see a toilet my bladder, without fail, thinks it ALSO as to go to the bathroom.

But as soon as we step in and look around a corner, there are no less than 4 employees standing there looking down at a lady who is sprawled on the floor. At first I thought, "Oh NO! The poor thing slipped on the wet floor", because they had one of those yellow signs they put up after they have mopped a floor that cautions you the floor is wet.

But no. As I sit there and stair at what lays before me, (giving my daughter a perfect example of what to do when you see something that surprises you, rolls eyes), I realize after I hear the employee say, "Did you drink that WHOLE bottle of tequila" that the lady was drunk.

You need to keep in mind, that I live in a city that isn't a alcohol friendly city. You don't see drunk people everyday.

Then the lady pipes up, "Don't lose my phone"!

Movie Theatre chick: "Your phone is in your purse"

Slurring drunk lady: "I know that! Don't lose my phone!"

Movie Theatre Chick (MTC): "Your phone is in your purse honey". (The MTC was probably 18 years of age?)

SDL: moans

Another MTC walks in who was probably my age: "Dear, did you call your pastor? Because he's here, we will let him in as soon as we clear the bathroom" then the MTC lady who is about my age slowly looks at me.

Me: "oh! Sorry, is it okay if we quick use the bathroom" I look down at my daughter, whose mouth is wide open and staring with no abandon and point to her and shrug, "can't be helped she has to go"!

MTC: "Sure, sorry about this."

So we go to the bathroom. The whole time we continue to hear the lady asking not to have her phone lost.

As we are exiting our stalls the EMT comes rushing in and not ALL of them were women.

I KID you NOT! I'm a go with the flow kinda gal so my delicate sensibilities were not marred, but I was appalled for the other ladies in the restroom, well, besides the drunk from tequilla one...

I was just finishing buckling my daughters belt.

We are boxed in.

Me: "Excuse me, I hate to bother you guys but can my daughter and I get around so we can wash our hands and get out of here?"

People shuffle and move around. My daughters eyes are glued on the lady on the floor, staring unmercifully, I wasn't much better to be honest, I however, managed to turn my head forward to wash my hands.

We wash our hands while more EMT's rush in.

How many EMT's does it take to get a drunk lady out of a bathroom? Like 6… and not all are women… and not all the stalls are empty of ladies unloading their bladders!

As I wait for my daughter to finish washing her hands, her neck craned back looking at the scene behind her, her hands missing the water, it finally hits me… 'SHELLE, you can make this a teaching lesson.'

I move my daughters hands from the sink, dry them off, and grab her to slowly walk away, trying nonchalantly to push her head back around. As we are walking out the bathroom door I lean over and say, "P… it's not nice to stare, but if you must, you need to make it less obvious, look through the mirror next time with your head forward!"

It was a proud moment for me.

Come tomorrow, because I did a video that PROVED I wore Red for RED Friday! Don't miss it, it will just justify to you that I am indeed a dork!


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I'm not are!

Okay first before you read my first "Just Cause" post in like FOREVER... you need to go read this post over at Southern Sage's. And then read Desperado's comment. Great stuff, and I look good in red so I'm in!

You want to know what drives me absolutely batty or what has lately? When people say, "I hate Stupid People".

That always throws me because it always says to me, "Hey, I'm perfect and I look down my nose at those that don't do things the way I do".

Hate is such a strong word, I mean even dislike isn't appropriate. What is required of one to be deemed stupid enough to hate? That is what I wonder, because the times that I have read that sentence in a post or heard it voiced out loud it is always directed to someone who has clearly made a mistake or isn't quite paying enough attention to what they should be doing right?

I find those people entertaining mostly, at the worst a bit annoying, but I wouldn't say I hated them, mostly because at any given time I AM one of them! I mean who isn't? Who hasn't said something that put their foot in their mouths? Or was distracted at the grocery store or wherever and walked to slow or took up the whole aisle not realizing someone was behind them rolling their eyes? Who hasn't accidentally pulled out into traffic and realized a little to late that the car you just cut off was going faster than you thought? Who hasn't been asked a question or talked about something with someone and took the wrong meaning so what you say doesn't come out as sounding that intelligent?

I think people that say they hate Stupid people, in a way are saying they hate themselves, which if you think about it is pretty darn funny!

This all stems from a car cutting me off in traffic and their bumper sticker said, "I hate stupid people" and I thought it pretty ironic. Then I got to thinking about all the posts I've read, (and yes I still read your blogs but it's usually on my phone, in fact I'm typing this post on my phone, and it takes a lot of my battery to comment), but I started seeing the trend. Almost always after someone says they hate stupid people, their next post is about something stupid they did!

And I Hate those People! ;)

What do you guys think?

Hope you're having a good day!


P.S. In group therapy today over at Real World we are talking about if women want s.e.x. as much as men do? Go over and give your opinion because I KNOW you have one on this topic!!! :)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Hello friends...So I wrote about you...

Hey over at Real World I'm talking about my friends. Since some of you are considered my friends--yea you! Not you no sorry not you...but yea YOU, you right there...thought you might want to go and check it out! :)

Here's a blurp:

...Even though my close friends and I don't get together as often as we would like, when we DO get together we start right where we left off. Sure we catch up on what we have missed in each other's lives, but then it's back to eating fattening foods, talking about everyone and eveything, and solving all the world's problems, oh and laughing… laughing until we can't breathe! The people that I'm drawn to...someone that can make me laugh guy or girl...the ones that will talk spirtually with me one minute...but then the next minute laughing at one another as we reminisce at how retarded we were when we thought we knew it all...

Dr.'s report at my 3 week check up. I get to wear the freaking brace for at least another three weeks! D@*M my slow healing bones!!! *shakes fist in the air*

***I just like to milk the whole collar bone because I have friends out there... you know who you are...that LOVE for me to mention it! :) hehehehe (pppfffttt hole in your broken collar bone is much worse. LOL)

Much love to you guys,

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I didn't break my shoulder and it's not a back pack!

To those of you that wonder "how my shoulder's doing or why I'm wearing an 90's mini back pack": (this one is for you CoachDad--cause I know how you love for me to mention that thing that rhymes with taller phone ;)

I'm sorry if you think it's rude of me to answer, "My shoulder is fine, my collar bone however is still in two pieces, but it's getting better everyday! I like to stay positive", when YOU ask, "How is your shoulder doing?" I can get a bit snappy when it's the upteenth millioneth time you have asked and I have given you the same answer, I didn't break my shoulder, I broke my COLLAR BONE or CLAVICLE (imagine me saying that really seductive).

Don't worry though, I laugh every time...I think I'm being quite witty really!

Let me whine a little here. You see I have to wear this figure 8 brace that pulls my shoulders back so that my clavicle can try to heal and it looks like an old 90's mini back pack or one of those plush stuff animal back packs that kids wear? Yea that is what I have to wear, but there is nothing PLUSH about it.

In fact, they don't make these things comfortable at all.

The sides are something hard then they cover it with a shady layer of cotton and then cover it with this beige looks-like-soft-but-is-really-rough material and my armpits are feeling the wrath!

No lie.

They are being cut into so the blood circulation is barely making it to my fingers and toes let alone my brain which holds my the part of me that discerns between nice and jerky, and let's not talk about the's sensitive. If I mention it at all it flairs up because it is so self conscious of hiding in the pit...the arm pit that is.

So my shoulder is fine and I'm bringing mini back pack BACK!

All of you that would like to jump on the band wagon now let me know and I'll make you an honorary member of the FIGURE-8-AIN'T WE Gr8T Gang, better known as F8AWG! It's all the rage this holiday season!

***I want you all to know that I satellite stalked Southern Sage's home and saw that him and his family started Christmas light decorating a little early... but they're Rednecks...give them a break. Here's the picture I took of his house and his lights... hehehehe...
Disclaimer: This may or may not be Sage's actual real home, I might have gotten this in an email on the internet.


Monday, November 9, 2009

So I met somebody...

Hey everyone!

See this pic with my daughter...sigh...back in the good ol' days when my collar bone was in one piece??? Those days are gone... I was happy back then, I didn't appreciate the collar bone like I should have, and NOW my collar bone/clavicle modeling is no longer...sigh. HEHEHEHEHE...

If you can't tell or don't know... I'm feeling MUCH better now! MUCH MUCH MUCH better!

I'm not healed. But I can lift my arm to take pictures and I can edit on my computer. Me so happy! :)

So you all have been so great about still coming to my blog and I want you to know that I have some posts up my sleeve so although I still won't be posting obsessively like before... I've some funny things to tell you and I can't keep them to myself!

So I met someone.

I went to Vegas and met someone. My curiosity got the best of me and I took my broken self off alone in our little Honda Accord and drove myself-literally single handed-down to Vegas, not just to meet up with someone, but to also connect with my new LOVE.

If blogs aren't for confessions what ARE they good for?

So here I go... I'm spilling the beans.

On Sunday, November 1st 2009, I, Shelle, drove myself down to Vegas to go watch BULL RIDING (My new found LOVE since I first saw it at the beginning of the year this year-reruns, but I fell in love anyway)!!! That's right... I went down and met up with Jules at IT IS JUST JULES and went to the Finals of the PBR in Vegas!!! You GUYS first let me just tell you Jules is just as fun and outgoing as she is on her blog, plus she was willing to go to watch Bull Riding with me so that means she is pretty much awesome!

When I met up with her she had a gift for me. Peeps...she makes jewelry, and not fuddy duddy jewelry, but really really cute jewelry! Pictured below! :)

We honestly had so much fun.

And the PBR EVENT! You guys I ate it up! I loved every second of it. I sat there and drank in everything and had my little score sheet and whooped and hollered like a professional when they guys rode 8 seconds and gave an appropriate gasp when someone got hurt or got to close to the bull. It's so unpredictable and exciting. So did I tell you I loved it? In fact, I didn't even have the mind to take more pictures than this one:

And thankfully for Jules and her brain we got this one together! Since my collarbone was out of a commission...she took the picture... her arms are good for that. The girl is long and lie...sigh, I was envious.

Forgive the quality it's a phone pic!

There were cowboys and wranglers and bulls and clowns and bull fighters and lights and music and...aaahhhh just to fun. I didn't even really talk to anyone around me...if you know me you are surprised huh! I didn't, I just watched. I'm still giddy thinking about it! Anybody ever needs someone to go to an event with... PICK ME!!!

Then I took JULES to Cheesecake Factory and she is such a light weight we couldn't even try the cheesecake, she got full to fast!!! lol! But the conversation was good and easy going like we have been friends for years! We took this picture after eating...again, she took the pic...her arms... her arms... remember?

So I met someone and connected with a new love.

Tell me what you guys have been up to! I'm coming around to visit you on your blogs... but I want to hear the funniest thing you have done since I've been away! :)

Here is how I feel while wearing this figure 8 brace! Just so you all know...


P.S. You have to go read the hilarious post that Sage wrote about his wife's spending habits over on Real World--HA! It is so funny! I'm not kidding! Go give him some comment love! :)

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