True Forgiveness via a new friend

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. ~Henry Ward Beecher"

I was talking with a new friend about this very subject and she said something that hit true that had come to her. It was similar to this quote, something to the fact that if you forgive and truly forgive, then you cannot bring it up again whether it be 3 weeks or 20 years later. Not if you truly forgive.

It's hard to do that though. One doesn't want to forget what wrong was done to them because they don't want to be put int hat situation again, they don't want to be vulnerable... but that is forgiveness, as she so eloquently reminded me, it is being vulnerable again.

Do you learn a lesson? Yes.

Is it a fun way to learn? Heck no.

But true forgiveness is such a healing balm to the soul and I think I like the outlook Ghandi put on it, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Gandhi"

They sure don't make it easy to be strong...

Thanks to my friend for talking to me about it. I love being reminded.

Hope you all have a good Sunday!

Love,

Serious Thought Sunday: Laughter

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” -Bill Cosby

I love this quote, because for me it is exactly how I get through anything besides, of course, Heavenly Father.

I have found my laughter because I believe, no I know, that life here is to experience and to learn and then when it's done, which is inevitable because someday it will be, there is the world after this which brings eternity and peace, and that encompasses happiness.

Most of what life throws our way we have no control over... so better to laugh and work through it then to throw yourself into a deep pit of darkness.

I'm not sure what those of you who don't believe in God or a Father in Heaven or a power beyond this life believe, but I just can't believe there isn't something more incredible after this life, nothing to look forward to, nothing to live life here for.

I do hope, whether you believe in God or not, that you find your laughter.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Love,

Play time...

I laugh a lot yet I still overwork myself. I came across this quote and though I'd post it!



"A child reminds us that playtime is an essential part of our daily routine."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hope you all have a good day!

Love,

Serious Sunday-Individual Worth of a Princess.

I sometimes feel afraid to post my serious thoughts, but they are a part of me, and a part I like about myself. So those of you new to my blog... this is the serious side of me, it doesn't come out often, but it's there and it's me.

...

I slowly walked through the aisles scanning books.

I wasn't going to buy, just look.

As I turned the corner I came into the Home Decor section. Not having a home of my own at the moment I usually walk quickly through these sections, because if I don't, then the pining for a home to decorate starts and I just don't want to do that to myself.

But that day I slowed down and looked. I don't know why? My situation has not changed and having my own home isn't going to happen tomorrow, but I just had this urge to slow down and look, so I indulged the urge.

Nothing was really jumping out until I hit upon a wood block that had been painted and then made to look like it had aged. On the wood block it said in BOLD bright pink letters, "PRINCESS" and right underneath that in small cursive black letters it said, "A Daughter of a Heavenly King". The first thing that came to my mind is, 'Hey! Validation that my little girl really IS a Princess, she's going to love that!' but then my mind started to wander more and think a bit more deeply.

It made me think of people and the worth they feel for themselves and how there isn't enough of it. Sometimes we do something we know we shouldn't and at first we know it's wrong and we feel guilt over it, but the more we accept it and do it the more it feels comfortable and okay to us and we become the ultimate justifiers! At some point we fall off our path that is so strait and narrow and lose our way. At that point is where you will find that person who has also lost their individual worth. As a parent our Heavenly Father cherishes each one of us and our worth to him is individual and great! No matter how much we fall off the path of trying to return to him there is a way for us to be forgiven.

People forget that, I forget that. They feel they have gone so far off and done so many wrong things that they could never be forgiven, that they aren't worth forgiveness. Or that they have been away so long that they feel uncomfortable calling out for help or redemption. That just simply isn't true. We are each royalty with our Father our Heavenly Father being the king of all. We are special and beautiful to him. He does not group us or over look us. If we call to him in prayer he will be there for us, that is how he works. No one is to far gone that he doesn't want saved or brought back to him.

Three Quotes I read that say it so much better:

"When we remember that each of us is literally a spirit son or daughter of God, we will not find it difficult to approach our Heavenly Father in prayer. He appreciates the value of this raw material which we call life. 'Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God' (D&C 18:10). His pronouncement inspires purpose in our lives." --Thomas S. Monson

"We are children of God. Each one of us is precious to the point of bringing the Lord God Almighty to a fulness of joy if we are faithful, or to tears if we are not."--M. Russell Ballard

and finally:

"Did you know that Heavenly Father knows you personally-by name? ... 'You may not have heard the Lord call you by name, but He knows each one of you and He knows your name'. Elder Neal A. Maxwell said...'I testify to you that God has know you individually...for a long, long time (see D&C 93:23). He has loved you for a long, long time. He not only knows the names of all the stars; He knows your names and all your heartaches and your joys!'"--Elaine S. Dalton

As I reflected on the aged wood block I realized that I'm lucky, I'm lucky that I know how special I am if not to anyone in this world, at the very most to my Father in Heaven.

PRINCESS--Daughter of a Heavenly King.

Have a good day guys!

Love,

Serious Sunday: Charity

I think it's incredible when you meet people that make you want to be a better person.

I went to a get together yesterday with 40+ other women all with one purpose, to start a group that could be of service, to find things to do to help other people. (Sad thing is, I'm a photographer and only had my camera phone. Which would have taken time away from my mouth-meaning I talked way to much and didn't take any pictures of it!)

Sue from Navel Gazing at its Finest started it. She's just as amazing in person as I thought she would be. I've read her forever and I was so *star struck* to meet her in person. :) If you don't read her, you should. Every post is a writer's masterpiece. She is witty AND gets her point across, instead of like my blog where I'm trying for both but get one or the other :)

I'm the first to admit that I love doing things for others but that I'm ultimately a selfish person. I always find myself wrapped up in my own life worrying about either myself or my immediate family (husband and kids).

I give when I'm reminded if that makes sense. I help out when someone else gives me the idea. I don't think of these kinds of things naturally which is such a horrible character flaw.

It's no different with this group. I am extremely excited about it and want to be a part of it, but it wasn't my idea...I'm sure I'll be forgiven for my inability to be a go-getter and secede in being a follower when it comes to these things.

However, just going to that yesterday and being a part of it made me WANT to do better, be better. These ladies, only one who I had met in person before, and maybe THREE I knew from their blogs... the rest where all strangers to me, each new person I met was funny and inviting.

When I get that feeling of being uplifted I always go and read quotes. True Story. I think I need to do that more. Bring back Serious Sunday's. Share that part of me... it's a small part, but it's still me right?

SO--the quote that came that struck me while reading after this awesome get together was this--because if I have pounded one weak character flaw in me it is patience-I have very little of it and usually the only patience I have is if it involves children--funny thing that is right?:

"The Book of Mormon provides insight into the relationship between patience and charity. Mormon, after pointing out that if a man 'have not charity he is nothing: wherefore he must needs have charity.' goes on to name the 13 elements of charity, or the pure love of Christ. I find it most interesting that 4 of the 13 elements of this must-have virtue relate to patience (see Moroni 7:44-45). "First, 'charity suffereth long.' That is what patience is all about. Charity 'is not easily provoked' is another aspect of this quality, as is charity 'beareth all things.' And finally, charity 'endureth all things' is certainly an experssion of patience (Moroni 7:45). From these defining elements it is evident that without patience gracing our soul, we would be seriously lacking with respect to a Christlike character." "The Power of Patience," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 15

From the Bible-(Thanks to the one who gave me the reference to it) 1 Cor. 13:4- "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up"

So patience I have very little. If one involves the other than I'm bound to get gain more patience if I have more charity right? I'm going to go with that.

I do love this next quote also, so had to include it:

"Charity never humiliated him who profited from it, nor ever

bound him by the chains of gratitude, since it was not to  him but to God that the gift was made." --Antoine de Saint-Exupery 

Ah--that I can relate to.  It won't humiliate me and it won't bind me to gratitude :)

What I'm trying to say is...I'm going to give it a go.  Holding onto the coattails of the rest of them. 

Have a good Sunday everyone!  When I find a picture that was taken... I'll steal and post it-- wait, that doesn't go against everything I 

just talked about right?

Either way... love you all!

In front of the lens...

The whole week with Deyton I was the official, unofficial, photographer. I was the one always behind the lens, and that's okay, that's how I prefer it.

I know it usually doesn't seem that way :), but it's true, I like being behind the lens.

But in those 5 days, from birth to passing, I fell in love with the little guy. There was an incredible spirit around him, the kind of spirit that makes you warm, happy, and makes you feel like you want and ARE a better person.

I love him.

As I watched everyone hold the little guy with tears streaming down their faces to hit their humbled smiles, because that is what you felt while you held him, is humbled... I waited for my turn.

The day he passed away I was there in the room to share the experience with them and record it through pictures for them.

So I was so grateful that I got this moment in front of the lens instead of behind it, because THIS was my most favorite moment of that week!


I just remember thinking and feeling that I want to live everyday better so that I can see him again... and hold him in my arms, and thank him for reminding me what my end goal of this life is, and that is to return to my Father in Heaven.

Have a good Sunday!

Love,

Serious Sunday

There are two scriptures that have made a big impact in my life.

I'm only brave enough right now to tell you about one.

Enos chapter 1:4 "And my soul ^ahungered; and I ^bkneeled down before my Maker, and I ^ccried unto him in mighty ^dprayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens."

At the time I read that scripture, I was burdened down and I felt so empty inside. It was a really dark period in my life, for me, and I was relatively young. It didn't fit well with my personality and it was really hard work to fake happiness throughout the day. It wore me out.

Doubt is a horrible thing. And I was filled with it. See I had a friend that questioned my faith. Being the small seed that it was, it shook me.

She was taught well, seemed to know a lot, and had a lot of questions to challenge my faith with... and I didn't have the answers. I had been taught, sure, but up until that point I looked at the gospel as something that was just there, that had always been around, but never something I desired to question or try to gain my OWN testimony of. The Gospel made sense, so what was there to question?

I don't remember specifics of all the conversations we had or really what questions she asked. I just remember the doubt, despair, and total emptiness for not knowing!!!

Then one day during a religion class we began to learn about ENOS, and I was asked to read that scripture out loud. That tingle of recognition began. That warmth of the spirit spread throughout my body, no I did not recognize it as such, but that phrase "my soul hungered" put words to what I was feeling for the first time! I went home and I prayed. a.lot. The answer to the despair came while I was on my knees in my pink and green room...then the doubt was gone. I can't even begin to describe what that feels like. But faking "happy" was no longer a problem and hasn't been since.

I still didn't have all the answers because I realized I never could and when I finally realized that and told my friend that, I found out she didn't have the answers either.

So it won't surprise you that whenever I listen to Oh My Soul Hunger-Kurt Bestor song I get a little emotional.



"Oh, my soul hungered,
My heart cried out:
"Please Lord, release me
From pain and from doubt."
Oh, my soul hungered
The moment I knelt down to pray,
And felt all my doubts Wash away.

Oh, my soul hungered-
Things that were old became new
When I learned to feel
What I already knew.

I realize that I'm especially lucky to find that out at such a young age... that I'm truly blessed and loved.

Hope you guys have a good Sunday! :)

Love,

Serious Sunday: Worth

I think the GREATEST blessing in my life is that I've always been lucky enough to know I'm worth something.

I've never questioned that. I've never been lost or had to search for it.

I'm not confused on how I believe.

On my wall growing up, the one I stared at right before I went to sleep, there was a saying that my parents had there, "I know I'm somebody, cause God don't make no junk."



Nowadays they have one that I'm working on getting up in my kids' room. PRINCESS-Daughter of a Heavenly King. (switch Prince for Princess and Son for Daughter).



I'm completely lucky.

And EVERY DAY I pray that my kids grow up with that same conviction... of knowing the worth they are not only to ME and MoutainSport Man... but to their Father in Heaven.

Sorry... just something I think about a lot.

Love

Shelle

Serious Sunday: My Return

Sometimes, like with this painting, it inspires something inside of me, I can't describe or explain it, but it's just SOMETHING.  

So I wrote something... I wrote it about a year ago, and posted it... but I think my Mom and Sisters were my only followers... and not very loyal ones either!!!

All of it is fiction, but is definitely influenced by the religion that I love,live, and am a part of.

I have never claimed to be a decent writer of any sort...I know my grammar has a lot to be desired.  

I'm weird, and always wonder about things that will happen when we pass from this mortal life. I ask myself questions like; Will I feel any pain? Will it be completely dark before I see the light? Will I be there for my funeral? Will I instantly be judged? How many people that have already passed on will know me and my spirit? How will we communicate?

Then one day I just sat down and started writing... and this story came out.  So this is my idea of what might happen! :)

My Return... 

As I entered the room I felt nervous, not because I was about to be judged, as soon as I passed over to this world from my Test on Earth I knew the next step for me would be to be judged. For I have to be judged in order to be placed into the world that I would live in for eternity...forever, but I wasn't nervous because of that.

I was nervous because I knew my brother would be there, in the room, waiting and ready to judge me. The brother that sacrificed his life for mine so that I could come back to live with him, in his world, along with my Father in Heaven. My brother would be there to speak for me...to be my lawyer in a sense, yet he would pass judgment also...he would decide my worth, he would decide if my Earth life was worth his sacrifice. That made me nervous for I did not want to disappoint him. I did not mind that there would be millions if not billions of other souls there to see my judgment, only my brother made me nervous, only what he thought mattered.

I remember the complete darkness that overtook me, my spirit, as I moved from my life on Earth to the spirit world. 

I felt completely alone, despair etched in every fiber of my being. I could not see anything, I could not feel anything, I could only hear...wailing with a pitch so high that it was almost unbearable, the pain of the one suffering was ever increasing in volume and became the deafening sound enveloping my very soul.

I immediately pleaded for my Father in Heaven to take me from wherever I was. 

What struck me as odd was the overwhelming need to pray for the one whose pain I could hear. "Please, Father in Heaven, please help him. Whatever he has done, please comfort him...take away his pain...I can't bear it." I was so overcome by my sorrow that I felt as if I was the one being attacked, and I was defenseless. My feelings of remorse flooded over me and I began to weep...

And then I saw the flicker of light. It was as if the whisper of warmth tickled my soul. I still felt the feelings that a human would feel, but it was all more intense. I didn't have to look up...it was as if I could see the light by the feel of the warmth. I instantly recognized the light of the person it was emanating off of, I knew it was my brother. My spirit recognized him. And even though I was just re-entering the world from which I left to begin my Test on Earth, I could not deny His light...the light of my Saviour, my brother, Jesus Christ.

My spirit, my soul, was joyous! The hope that flooded through me was so big and so incredible that at first I could do nothing but enjoy it. And then I felt Him...he wrapped me in his arms, His tears of happiness felt upon my head. His warmth and love hit me like bolts of electricity over and over starting as a rush of energy from my head and ending at the tips of my toes. I clung to him, weeping, loving, and I breathed as if a heavy weight had lifted from me.

We didn't have to communicate through our voice. Our bodies communicated as well as our thoughts. Every ounce of knowledge that I had of Him came poring out. He knew I loved him, He knew I believed in him, that on Earth I had recognized his teachings and his help, and I could feel and hear him say, "Welcome back dear child, we have been waiting for you".

I snapped out of the memory as I stood there awaiting my judgement, looking around the sea of faces, eventually landing upon the only one that mattered.  HE would be my judge, my brother, but most of all he was my redeemer the one whose mercy I most relied on.  

So I was nervous.  For the only question in my mind was... Had I done enough to make him proud?

Love,

Shelle

Serious Sunday: Melancholy

I'm feeling melancholy today.

But in a good way.

I'm a teacher for my Relief Society.

That is my calling.

I enjoy it SOOOO much... but every time I go to prepare a lesson I read and research and read in hopes of covering what I need to cover and picking out the best possible thought or lesson embedded in ALL that we are given to present.

Sometimes, I feel, I must admit that I am overwhelmed and under-qualified.  I thought that after a while I would feel more comfortable and less overwhelmed...but I haven't yet.

Every lesson effects me differently... sometimes I am filled with hope, sometimes I am filled with guilt, then sometimes I am melancholy.

Like today.  My lesson was during the time Joseph Smith was in Liberty Jail.  Where we get Doctrine and Covenants sections 121, 122, 123... like other religions and people, the saints suffered persecution, imprisonment, and death because of what they believed.  They were different in what they believed, unknown, and feared.  The authorities that put the Prophet and some of the leaders in jail admitted that they (the prophet and leaders) did nothing wrong, but the state authorities and officials were afraid of what the MOB would do if they were to release the prisoners.  For MONTHS they were kept in horrible conditions for no other reason then one of fear.

You know what brought the Prophet and Leaders the most anguish while they were imprisoned?  Hearing what the guards were saying was going on to the saints... about persecuting, beating, and driving them from their homes.

I don't get that?  I can't wrap my brain around it.  I taught the lesson, I understand what lessons they learned, I get that part.

I just don't get cruelty at all.

I know it just isn't our church, there are other religions and groups of people who have been or are going through this kind of cruelty...

So I'm melancholy.

But it's good...cause it reminds me of the person I want to be... 

I may not be able to make a HUGE difference being just me, but I don't have to add to ignorance that is combined with cruelty.

Hope you had a good Sunday...

Love,

Shelle

Remembering...and soothing your spirit.

I know not everyone that reads my blog believes the same as I do. I know not everyone understands why I choose to believe and follow the religion I do.

You have heard enough from me of my feelings of the Gospel, and of Jesus Christ, and my Father in Heaven. So to spare repeating myself I'm going to Direct you to Annie's words. Thanks Annie...I totally love when I read something and completely agree.

Annie references this video...

When you watch something, such as this video for me, and it pulls at something inside of you, soothing your spirit...it's just tough for me not to share.



Have an incredible Easter everyone! :)

Love,

Shelle

Mormon Myths and Reality...so if you have a few minutes...

Found this video while searching through Facebook... someone else had posted it!

I love how it uncovers the myths that so many believe about us throughout the world. Traveling makes it more apparent that people REALLY do believe lots of what they hear about us...that is untrue...

There are exceptions to everything...I understand...but this video is great!

The very end of this video is my favorite...President Hinckley states exactly how I feel about my Lord and Savior!

Have a great SUNDAY guys...



Love,

Shelle