Where are all the parents??? Based on a true story.

I have a story I must tell.

One that may shock you... or not.

See there once was this girl, cute, fun personality, smart, and totally excited to start school. I may have added to that excitement by reminding her she was going to start her first day of school every day for at least 7 days before she actually "started" school.

Me: "Aren't you so excited to be a big girl and go to your Big Brother's school!"

PeePs: "Mom, I'm 5, not 2. But I'm so excited!!! Yay me!" As she jumps up and down clapping her hands.

See here where I live they tease Kindergarten-ers. They say, "Today you start school! Well you kinda do. You get to come and meet your teacher and sign up for a day that you can test and we can see where you fit and watch your progression through the year. So you don't actually go to school, no, you just meet your teacher and then come back later that week to test. Then NEXT week you get to start school."

So we did that. We had her meet her teacher... she tested (she rocked it-and teacher was somewhat worried she might be bored-but we are going to play that by ear...) Then we patiently waited for the day she would actually get to go to CLASS and LEARN.

Proud Mom fact and a bit of a sidenote: I should tell you that my daughter has this incredible drive to learn. Everyday she makes her Grandma sit with her (I can't because I'm at work) and do "homework" with her. And I'm not just talking 10-15 minutes worth, no, I'm talking an hour and a half later her Grandma is firmly telling her she has to stop for the day-where my daughter is none-to-happy about it. I don't know where this drive comes from, but I'm not about to worry about it.

So back to the story: Monday this week rolls around and my daughter and I get her dressed for her FIRST day of school.

Keep these images in your mind... they may break your heart later.

So as you can see.  She was ready and excited to start BIG GIRL school.  And I'm telling you... like DisneyLand excited!

It's 10 minutes until her first day of school should start and I grab her hand and we head out the door, to brave the heat, and walk to her school.

As we approach her school and the area where the Kindergarten kids meet I start to notice something is wrong.

Where are all the parents?

As I'm running off of fumes because I had little sleep the night before, I just shrug it off and we head to her classroom door.

Just as we are about to open the door her Kindergarten teacher opens it and looks at me, a bit surprised, (her Kindergarten teacher, BTW, is a friend of mine, we worked as lifeguards together), she says "Hi" and hesitantly shuts the door.

I sit there, befuddled for a moment.

Is my daughter late?  Is she teaching me a lesson?

I look at my phone and we are one minute early.  That is WAY on time for me.

Hmmmm... maybe she is still getting things ready...

I look around the area... WHERE IS ALL THE PARENTS?  It was just me and another lady (who I found out through polite conversation didn't speak much English) smiling at each other and looking away.

My friend, my daughters Kindergarten teacher, pokes her head out the door and has a super huge smile on her face... like the smile you have right before you are about to laugh, and says, "Shelle, did you know that school doesn't actually start until Wednesday?" bwahahahaha... hahahaha... holding her stomach, bending over laughing, and she sees the light bulb go off in my head, "we are still testing until Wednesday." hahahahahahaha... still can't breathe, she is bending over laughing at me.  "Shelle!" heave, breathe, heave, laugh, heave, breathe, "you haven't changed a bit!"

I'm feeling totally embarrassed and dumb right now, even though the only audience to this faux pas is me, the teacher, my daughter, a few other first graders playing on the play ground, and the cute non-english speaking lady.

And when I feel embarrassed I laugh.  And when I laugh, I cry.

When I could breathe again... and she could breathe again, and I grab my daughter and start walking away I say over my shoulder, "You know this won't be the only time something like this happens!"

The End.

This story is based on a true story.

So today we try again.  TODAY she is going to her actual first day of school!  We didn't take pictures again because she looks exactly like she did in the pictures above.

Love,

GOSH.FREAKING.DANG.IT!

K... I honestly rarely get embarrassed, because when embarrassing things happen to you often you tend to become immune.

It's either that... or come down with a severe case of agoraphobia.

Here's a recent example.

I was at Costco. ON SATURDAY-- when I say it was busy... that is a COMPLETE understatement. I was blessedly alone, no kids to constantly look for as the play hide-n-seek with me.

I got the stuff I had come for and approached the check out line. Had a bit to wait, but it was cool--I'm good with keeping myself entertained, I have my phone and my thoughts, plus I like to people watch. I had noticed the person, the girl, in front of me who was drinking a pop out of fountain cup. It's important you know this fact.

Soon,The Girl, was next in line, then me, then a WHOLE line of other people behind me.

Finally it was my turn. The cashier greeted me and rang me up.

I paid.

Put my Costco and debit cards back in my wallet, put my purse on my shoulder, and proceeded to leave. Completely engrossing myself back into my thoughts and my OWN LITTLE WORLD (there is a reason that is on my header).

But my purse hits something... and then I hear that HORRIBLE sound of a FOUNTAIN cup full of liquid splattering all.over.the.ground.

I froze.

With my back still at the scene that lay behind me... I prayed a silent prayer that the sound and the thing I felt my purse hit had nothing to do with each other.

I slowly turn around... when I say slowly... I mean the world was going at normal pace and I had slowed WAY way way down... turning a centimeter every other minute.

When my eyes hit the HUGE spot of liquid creeping it's way to the grooves and cracks of the floor... all I could think of to say was, "That wasn't my drink!" and then I repeated it 3 times while lifting my hands up in front of me, my fingers battling each other, and my eyes going cross-eyed!

The sound was loud enough that I swear all of Costco was looking my way. Everyone in unison giving me a moment of silence.

Really people... the etiquette on that, I'M SURE, is to pretend you don't see that I just knocked over a drink that some GIRL left on the counter!!!

I swear it wasn't my drink!

Completely at a loss of what to do... I ask if they need me to get towels from the bathroom...

???---see what I mean at completely at a loss? HA!!! I would have needed the whole ROLL and then I'd use another roll to have a WET set of towels so the floor wouldn't be sticky.

But my brain was functioning on humiliated...

They told me it was "okay, ACCIDENTS HAPPEN", and they would take care of it.

I scream in my mind, BUT IT WASN'T MY DRINK... I DIDN'T LEAVE IT THERE!!!

I admit... it wasn't very observant of me NOT to see the drink on the counter... but it WASN'T MINE!!!

GOSH.FREAKING.DANG.IT!!!

That was just Saturday.

I could have a daily blog dedicated to scenarios like that.

I just wonder how I missed the line up in heaven where they were handing out the ALWAYS COOL tickets... ya know those people. The ones that always do and say the right thing... where embarrassing is a word they are unfamiliar with and humiliation is a word they associate with OTHER people?

Knowing me... I was probably caught up in my thoughts and didn't hear them announce which line it was, that happens to me a lot also.

So... did I make you feel better about yourself today? I'm a giver like that.

Your. Welcome.

love,

Shelle

P.S. No they are not THOSE Jeffereson's... hahahaha!

DYHIW TODAY!!! COME ENTER...WIN FREE STUFF!!!

***Times up!!! Two finalist will be posted in a few hours and then the poll will be UP for vote!!! THANKS for PLAYING guys!!!

DON'T YOU HATE IT WHEN--

Your walking through your office with a Styrofoam cup to fill up with some quality H2O when you see your boss who sees you and says, "Hello Sunshine!"--(No lie...that's what the guy calls me...I don't know if I should be flattered or scared)...and you trip, stumble over some imaginary thing in the carpet, and drop the cup in the process? Making it look like you went all DOE eyes for the boss and tripped over your feet because he said HI to you?

Totally embarrassing...because I honestly just tripped, on NOTHING, and the cup fell to the floor.

On top of that...in between us were short-walled cubicles...meaning about 8 people saw the WHOLE exchange.

I picked up the cup and said...and I'm being completely honest...I said, "What? I tripped! I promise!"

I'm totally LAME!

******************************************************

Ready to WIN free stuff? YAY for FREE STUFF!!!

This Beautiful 16X20 painting entitled "Free as a Bird" done by the talented Emily from Art-n-Sewl. You need to check out her other stuff on ETSY you will be obsessed!!!




AND a $25.00 gift card from AMAZON!!!

So link UP and enter your post here...then grab a drink, some peanut butter M&M's,and Movie Popcorn and enjoy these cell pics I took of me and my daughter (don't try this at home people, I'm a professional)...

...STAY as long as you want...because EVERYONE is welcomed here at BlokThoughts, we don't discriminate, unless you don't follow bathroom/courtesy flush or airline etiquette OR poo in Target and don't clean it up! But other than that...we except EVERYONE!!! :)



Love,

Shelle

Part 2-The moral of the story is...always pay up on your debts!!!

I'm going to continue the story...even though I should have stopped where I stopped.

Oh and sorry I didn't give you a HUGE warning about how disgusting it was...but have ANY of my bathroom stories been all that clean or sweet or even somewhat digestable?

Sorry.

If you need to catch up, part 1 is below this post.

So I KNEW in the back of my mind that I needed to yell for help.

But I didn't. I just sat there, on the top of the counter, with my knees up to my chest and my chin on my knees and looked on in shock.

The water evenutally stopped coming down, and there was a nice puddle of greenish-brownish...(Well, use your imagination).. around the toilet, but that is about it...

While I was sitting there, contemplating suicide or at least a quiet escape, there came a soft knock...

knock, knock, FREAKIN' knock.

I stiffened, froze, HORROR struck...I thought, "If I don't move, don't say a word, maybe they will go away, maybe...just maybe...a HOLE will open up in this sink and swallow me...OH PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE bless that a hole will swallow me...PLEASE, I won't ask for another thing in my LIFE...Just PLEASE get me out of this!!!"

But...this was to be a lesson to me...what lesson? I still have no idea!

"Uh, Shelle, is everything all right? I think I heard the toilet clog...do you need some help? You flushed it a second time so it probably flooded huh? It's my fault, I should have warned you that if it didn't flush to just to leave it for about 15 minutes and then it will flush down...I'm sorry..."

CONNOR!

"Connor?"

"Yea, do you want to unlock this so I can see the damage?"

I started crying, and not pretty crying where it slowly rolls down my cheeks and my wide blue eyes glisten in the light...

No, nothing like that...

But SOBBING...UNCONTROLLABLE...UGLY crying.

"Shelle?" he laughs, "don't cry...it's really not a big deal. It happens all the time. Just unlock the door and I'll give you a hand with it."

He LAUGHED at me...if I had dared to let myself out of that bathroom I would have thrown my skinny body-chicken legged self at him and clawed his eyes out..."Are you out of your MIND!!!" I yelled, or something similar to that statement, "there is no WAY I am letting you in here to see this mess...it STINKS, and I'm totally EMBARRASSED already...so FORGET it! Just tell me where the cleaning stuff is and I'll take care of it!....please"

Then nothing...it's like Connor abandoned me.

"Connor?"

Still nothing. CRAP! Was he going to get a spare key to open the door? Was he going to get his Mom? CRAP! Where was he? What was he doing?

I was hiccuping at this point...my eyes were red and swollen, and my fair Irish freckled skin was blotchy...the only thing I had going for me was that I had worn water-proof mascara!

I think I sat there for a good 10 minutes while my FECAL matter sat puddled around the toilet, (linoleum floors...so that was good) and the water was slowly receding inside the toilet bowl.

And then, like after any GOOD cry, my brain started to function again. And I thought it was time to look for cleaning supplies...but before I could HOP down off the counter, Connor came back and started playing with the lock and in 3.2 seconds the guy had the door opened and was smiling at me!

I jumped down from the counter...feet splashing in the puddle, because it would have been to SMART of me to jump even 2 inches forward so that I didn't hit the fecal matter puddle..."AAAAACCCCKKKK! CONNOR! Get out!"

And then he just laughed! Like a gut wrenching laugh! And turned around to grab some supplies he had brought with him to clean up. "Please Connor...let me clean this up...please leave...your KILLING me here!"

And as if I hadn't said anything at all...he just began to clean it up. I, of course, helped him, humiliated and grossed out.

It didn't take long...and the toilet flushed...THE TRAITOR...as soon as Connor began cleaning, so all became well again.

Until Connor got up from cleaning the last of the puddle. He just smiled at me and said, "You do stink!" scrunched his nose, then went out in the hall and grabbed a pair of sweat pants and continued, "so put these on, give me your pants, and I'll wash them with these rags. And NO worries, this is our little secret...but you will owe me..." then winked, turned, and walked out the bathroom door.

Okay, he didn't wink...but he did leave me as I sputtered after him saying, "What do you mean I will owe you? Like pay for damages? Owe you how?"

He just closed the door.

He never did tell my friend. And luckily she never asked questions that night.

But as we drove home together the next day...we almost crashed because we were laughing so hard because I honestly can't keep stuff like that in...everything seems funnier in the light of day!!!

Doesn't it?

I honestly can't tell a short story! I'm sorry!

Moral of the story: "Never go to the bathroom at a cute guys house period! Risk dying or going to the emergency room! And ALWAYS pay up on your debts...because that actually was ALMOST worth the whole thing..."

ALMOST... Okay...it was WELL worth it! But if I had to go back and do it again...I would have found another way to OWE Connor...

Love,

Shelle

P.S. And sorry about yesterdays post...I fixed the spelling errors, but you have to realize...I write my posts and post them, I rarely return to see what I wrote until later in the day. Flatuation is not even a word and neither is unevitable. *hangs head in shame*

Me and Bathrooms don't mix... part 1

I think it's about time that I tell you of another bathroom-HORRIBLE-experience I had.

It may explain the reason why I hate going to the bathroom so much.

Because HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, EMBARRASSING things happen in bathrooms...things that will be shown on the BIG SCREEN movie of my life for everyone to see...totally humiliating.

I wonder when the movie of your life is showing if it is under a certain category. Like those people that have lots of tragedies in their life, if it will be like--JANE'S life showing in 5 minutes...a short two-heaven-hour drama, you might want to bring a tissue for this one?--

Like for my life. SHELLE'S life showing in 20 minutes...a long 10-heaven-hour COMEDY on bathroom and bodily function mishaps...you won't want to miss it, it will keep you laughing for days!

LOL---that would be kinda funny... :)

Anyways,

I feel if I get it out now...and explain the situation to those that may care or may be embarrassed because their names are attached to mine, like my kids...maybe people and my kids will have pity on my?
K they were like 4 and almost 2 here...OH I LOVE IT! :)

I was at this guys house that I liked.

A. LOT.

We can call him Connor. Connor was hot...hot body and hot hair. The guys locks were prettier than mine...and the thing that made him MOST sexy...is he didn't even care, he was rugged. I remember him like this:


And since I don't have a REAL picture of him...I've borrowed this Abercrombie and Fitch model to show you what he kind of looked like. :) Your. Welcome.

Connor lived in an older house. Him and his family lived their since he was born and he knew no other home.

I was over visiting him. I had to travel to his parents house so they invited me to stay there. I want to say that Connor liked me back, which is why he convinced his parents to let me sleep over...and I was just ENOUGH wicked to want to do it! lol!

It's was probably around 10:00pm. And we had just decided on a movie we wanted to watch. All I remember is it was a comedy...not much for a romantic atmosphere...but it wasn't like we could do much because I wasn't the ONLY one sleeping over...my friend was with me--SHEESH guys---what kind of girl do you take me for?

Well, we had Mexican food for dinner...Cafe Rio, (one of my FAVORITES)--and my stomach was starting to tell me that it needed to dispose of the stuff, and soon.

Being the lady I am...I had been holding in my flatulence for some time...and my belly was starting to protest. EVERYTHING in there seem to be cramping. So just putting in the movie and before getting settled down...I decided to go to the bathroom.

I should have stuck with my chances of bursting my appendix or stomach or something...because what happened next will be embedded in my mind for all time. I still get a little sicked out when I think about it.

Remember I'm in a old house.

I find the bathroom, let myself in, close the door, LOCK the door, and proceed with business.

Which went along nicely...no need to fret with that. But I will say, I emptied out a lot, one of those really good ones where you feel 10 lbs lighter.

Then I flushed.

IT started swirling around VERY slowly...

And then NOTHING!

I softly, under my breath, said, OH CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!

Then I'm stuck with the decision...Do I flush again? Or do I wait a minute and see if all of sudden the toilet decided to do its job and flush itself?

Then I thought PLUNGER!

Okay, no problem I thought to myself, I'll just find a plunger and for PEACE OF MIND, plunge the toilet then flush again.

I frantically start ripping open cabinets.

NO PLUNGER!

CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!

So...I did it guys...I attempted to flush again.

I KNOW!!! WHY would I DO THAT???

I was Desperate...OKAY! I was desperate...and not thinking straight...out of my mind CRAZY!

Then the WORST of possible WORSTS happened. The stuff didn't go down, but slowly made it's way to the top of the toilet bowl! Like, slow motion slow, like it was taking its time for my inevitable doom! Laughing at me...mocking me...

It finally creeps to the top of the toilet bowl and creeps its way over the side!!!

And then it was like time caught up to me and it started FLOODING the bathroom...and I JUMPED on the counter!

All I could think was..."Only yuck, gross, disgusting people clog toilets! When I yell for help, and unlock the door, I might as well have warts and a GREMLIN face because that is what I will look like to them...they will be completely disgusted with me..." As I sat there in complete shock...somewhere in the back of my brain I knew I needed to call for help!

Pause...this post is getting long.

I'll finish my story tomorrow.

Love,

Shelle

P.S. Would you have made a second flush?

Public Bathroom Etiquette Lesson 2

I've come upon something that needs to be addressed.

I have filled you in before about certain etiquette's. In the bathroom where I talked about the "courtesy flush" and on an airplane where I talked about the "length of a seatbelt".

But this weeks seems to somehow have a theme that has to do with things pertaining to going to the restroom...or at least TRYING to go to the restroom but NOT QUITE MAKING IT! *shudder*

On top of all of that...my sister and brother-in-law, Suns Fans #1 and #2, tried to be nice yesterday and made CHILI in a bread bowl. Talk about doing something CRAZY to your bowels...Seriously, there is nothing like reminding your stomach that it doesn't like CHILI by eating a BREAD bowl of it!

Next time I venture to eat Chili...will someone remind me that it is a BAD idea?

Yea, Thanks much!

Anyway.

Really fast we need to go over another PUBLIC RESTROOM Etiquette lesson.

I'm going to admit that I didn't feel the need to strain this particular lesson BEFORE the other day...but I've had enough...it's happen 1 to many times...and when I say one to many times I mean once!

I was appalled and embarrassed enough that I felt I needed to tell the masses!

Okay.

Here is the rule...

No talking on your cell phone in the bathroom!


Seriously.

Not kidding!

Here's me the other day in the bathroom...I mean you KNOW I think going to the bathroom is a WASTE of time...I abhor it!

But I couldn't hold it any longer and HAD to go...I was NOT going to be another Target Lady! Ya know what I mean?

So I rushed to the bathroom and proceeded to get over my Public Bathroom Stage Fright and try to relieve myself.

***In walks co-worker***

She goes in the stall, not next time mine (must have read my Courtesy Flush post), and you hear her doing what she needs to do in order to sit on the toilet.

Then SILENCE...

Then:

Co-Worker: "Hello?"

Me: Why in the heck is she talking to me? I don't recognize her shoes? I don't think I know her? Maybe she needs toilet paper? "Hello"? ...I respond.

Co-Worker: "Hey! How are you?"

Me: What the What? Feeling somewhat awkward now I say, "I'm fine" chuckle, "how are you?"

Co-Worker: "Are you kidding me? He did that last NIGHT?!!!"

Me: UH-OH--she isn't talking to me...she is talking on her CELL PHONE!

Now I'm HUMILIATED. How was I to get OUT of there without her noticing who I WAS??? I was going to have to run home and change my shoes...because if I got out of there without her seeing me through the bathroom crack in the stall...she was definitely going to notice MY shoes!

And you KNOW she heard me answering her questions while she was talking to the OTHER person on the phone! You KNOW she did!

I SOOOOO hate public restrooms!

Can't you for 1-5 minutes NOT talk on your cell phone? Is that lady SO important that she HAS to have her phone while doing her business in the bathroom?

I mean COME ON guys!

I am making it a RULE...an etiquette of the bathroom if you will!

Please spread the word...because after I got over my embarrassment of the episode, I had to share it with my co-workers who sat around me, and we LAUGHED until I couldn't breathe...

So it was good for something....BUT...

For the sake of others. Keep your cell phones put away while on the toilet.

I mean, my MIL totally flushed hers down the toilet, so it can be dangerous to cell phones also!

Your.Welcome and Thank.You!!!

Love,

Shelle

Green Beans or Asparagus? Don't You Hate It When...come play!

Remember you have today to enter and tomorrow to VOTE!

Don't You Hate It When...

You don't know the difference between Green beans and Asparagus and you are just meeting a BBFF in Real life so you show how much of an airhead your really are? Yea...I hate that too!

Okay so you all know that I met Binks in real life in Vegas a couple of weekends ago. I explain it all here ...and what a beautiful person she is...and Binks explained her version here.

I also met her sister Barbs.

They took us to a Wolf Gang Puck restaurant...and I'll be honest, I had NO idea what the food even was.

But they brought out a some Green Bean dish, "Courtesy of the Chef" (I wasn't sure if they were going to have us DO SOMETHING for them if we took the beans...but then I saw that the Chef was being courtesy to everyone...) they said...but in honor of my pride here they were shriveled and had some delicious sauce on them.

Anyway...even though I heard the host guy tell us they were Green Beans, when we were discussing later what vegetable we were eating, (because somehow three women and one man couldn't remember what the host guy had said)..I said something like, "I may not know my seafood, but I know my vegetables and this is Asparagus!"

Yea...ummmm

It was Green Beans.

I'm a total airhead!

But I had them for a second...because those shriveled up Green Beans looked ALOT like Asparagus (The picture above is NOT the green bean dish we had...the green beans we had were WAY more shriveled up at the end)...but then their brains kicked in and they were like, "Didn't the host guys say it was a Green Bean dish?"

Ummmm...Hello? Didn't they know that this was our FIRST time meeting and it would have been REALLY nice just to let the airhead say and think what she wants? Doesn't anyone have first-time-meeting-blog-friends etiquette anymore?
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Here's a run down of what you need to know:

1. Don't you hate it when is the theme. Your post must TRY to be humorous or awe inspiring! You can link a picture, personal or not, tell a story, link to a video or post a personal video...whatever...as long as it is attempting to make us Roll On Floor Laughing, or in text form (ROFL)! Click here for examples. Then add your name and the specific post for the contest to the MR. LINKY at the bottom. If you add a video, story, or picture that is NOT yours or originally yours...then you must give credit where credit is due. But you all know that.

2. Please remember to link back to my site so that others can play along with us!!!

3. Keep it clean in a PG-13 kinda way. If there is a post that is inappropriate...in my eyes only...then I will be forced take them off, which I hate to be forced to do anything. And for those that feel they can judge and want to email me that they feel a post might be inappropriate...don't waste your time, because I will ignore it...as long as I am okay with it...sorry, your opinion doesn't matter. But I still love ya! :)

4. Oh and Have Fun...most important rule...you must be able to laugh at your own posts! :)

Now you have TODAY to enter and voting starts tomorrow-Tuesday in a voting poll on my sidebar!

Here is what you are playing for:

This beautiful Quilt (just started, yet to be completed) that Kritta22 is making over at Protect and Provide ...And a $25.00 gift card from -------------



What's going to be different about this contest:

Okay...this will be the last week we are doing this for this month. So whomever wins this week will be the final entry for the Grand Prize!

And then for the Don't You Hate It When contests...I have decided to choose ONE random day each month to throw the contest. Whomever enters will be up for the prize. I have a volunteer panel who will choose the TOP TWO funniest posts and then you guys will vote for the FINAL winner! Then they will win the prize!!! So I will be going from doing it EVERY Monday to one random day out of the MONTH...I will let you know the day before it will be and what the prize will be so don't fret TOO much!

NOW LINK UP!

Keep Quiet, but go ahead and grab some chocolate...

I woke up this morning and went to work. Because that is what I do...I work at ridiculously early hours in the morning...it's crazy, but I do it because I have to and because I want to be HOME during the day to chill with my kids.

I get home and get on my site to post my latest How I Imagine Heaven to Be...only to start hearing things. I quickly turn around to see where the sound is coming from...to tell you the truth, I'm a bit freaked. There is nothing behind me or in front of me and I am still hearing the "ssshhh" and the "Don't touch that" and "Wow, that really DOES look like chocolate". I'm thinking, "What in the world is going on here, am I getting PUNK'D? Is someone TeePeeing my blog? Because I know how much this blogger LOVES to TP..." Hmmm...I wonder

Then I spy...a line of field trippers from Camp Candid Carrie's site, which can mean only ONE thing...MY SITE IS THE DESTINATION FOR THE FIELD TRIP!

I was filled with elation! I couldn't believe my luck...after hounding, pounding, and stalking; Candid Carrie decided to give me some love after impersonating her here (Second video down...can't miss it, I look and sound exactly like her) I have felt eternally bonded with her...I continue to involve myself with her Foto Finish Fiesta and have loved the new friends that have come over to my site because of it! (One Crazy Chick and Kritta 22...I'm talking about you!

So Field Trippers...WELCOME...go ahead and roam around. I have posted labels down at the bottom that you MIGHT be interested in or maybe not or if you just want a good laugh, it usually involved me and my embarrassments. Besides my acting in the post just following this one I am a want-a-be movie star...well exercise video star...which I totally bombed and look like a fumbling idiot...but it's incredibly funny to watch and read about...

Oh and don't mind me showing off my ONE and ONLY blog award...yes, I feel I deserve more also, but for some reason people aren't spreading the blog award love to me...I know, boggles my mind also! But my good friend's husband, who I consider my friend also, Spencer, gave me this award...so THANK YOU Spencer...I'm sure we would have been great friends and maybe even soul mates if you weren't already married and soul mates to someone more sexier, cuter, nicer, funnier, and probably smarter than me...yea we might have had a go of it...Oh and if you grab the award...you have to award it to 7 other people, let them know you gave it to them...thems the rules, so don't break it!

So the first 5 bloggers who arrive on this site deserve this lovely award and so I am allowing you to "take" something from this blog! Go ahead...spread the love! I'm saving two of these awards to give to Natalie from Happy Havoc and The Bayou Belles and their Beaus because they reminds me of myself and I love their comments and feel connected to them somehow...

The rest of you can go ahead and take one of the Hershey Bars that I have lovingly cut letters out of and put in my header...don't worry about my header...it will survive. I mean, it's not EVERYDAY that CampCandidCarrie comes over to visit and I want to make your trip memorable! And NO I don't have the chocolate letters because I ate them...SORRY!

p.s. The only thing that takes away from my elation, is that CANDID CARRIE insists on referring to my age when we chat or email together in terms like, "Okay Juvenile Delinquent" or "Youth is wasted on the Young" and I want to reply back, "Fine Grandma" or "talk with you later first generation of EVE" but I don't want to be disrespectful because my parents taught me to respect my elders.

P.S.S. The Unword of the Day that I personally go and pick from the Unword Dictionary daily...totally describes my obsession with the internet...just wanted to get that off my chest...the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem right? So I am offically calling myself a webaholic...anyone want to form a group?

Humiliation Chronicles-Story #1

Well to begin...Watch the first clip below...I am not here to make fun of this guy, but I will admit that I laughed out loud and had to watch the clip more than once! My little bro HAD to show me, and then he said, "Ah, Shelle, this takes me back to when I had to watch you do your solo's!" How very nice of him to remind me.

We got such a great laugh that I thought I would start documenting my humilating experiences for your enjoyment...and for later on when my children can read, and they have their unfortunate embarrassing times in life, then I can show them to this post, and others like it, and they can read and watch and get solace in the fact that moms is way worse!

So I'm going to throw in these funny, you probably had to be there, stories...every once in a while, and not in any chronological order...I'll just write them when I remember them...there are SO many it's quite hard to remember them ALL, but I will try, because I think the generations after me...might enjoy them...one never knows!

I'm really not a "top that" (name that movie) kind of person...but embarrassing and humilating things happen to me quite often...actually daily...some big and some small...but it's like they are attracted to me...whatever...just enjoy!



Poor guy...I feel his pain...literally, I have pulled my hamstring before, while kicking, and it doesn't heal very quickly...I mean at the end of that clip he seems completely dazed and out of it! Really poor guy!

I have also humiliated myself on National TV, recently...I haven't posted the clips because I didn't know that they would be embarrassing at the time, but it has to do with a certain workout video and it being on ET Online and Entertainment Tonight show on television...I had my 30 second debut and totally bombed...because ET happen to be recording at the time...

(believe me if I knew they were recording I would have killed myself to push through, although I don't know if I could have, but I would have tried...I really would have)...

the part in the Jive Exercise section where he chooses to do a "walk" version, a "jog" version, and a "run" version...after being there pretty much ALL day.

Already having been involved in the "Cha Cha" Exercise section and being totally exhausted, because let's be honest, I work out 3 to 4 times a week, but I really am not an active person.
So make me push through a 30 minute treadmill or elliptical work out...or hang in there for a 45-60 minute aerobic exercise class...but to make me WORKOUT all day long, and smile at the same time...I'm just going to get it out there and say I was exhausted and am TOTALLY out of shape...which I already knew...in their minds, Luis Van Amstel's and Carson's Mom, I was perfect for their video. They did want average looking people...how very nice of them!

Well, ET happen to video and put out on National TV and on ET Online the clips of the "Run" section...(Let me just note here that it seemed more like a "walk", "run", then "sprint" to me...but that's just my opinion)...out of sheer bad luck...they put me in the front row next to skinny, but in shape, Luis (comparatively, I look like a GIANT)!

This is how it went, in my mind--

"Walk" version--I'm still smiling...it wasn't bad...after a few takes...I was still good, sweating glowing from the hot lights on set...but makeup girl Ashley...took care of me, and I was ready to take a "Jog"...I was laughing, still in a good mood.

"Run""Jog" version (but to me it felt like a run, just saying)--I'm panting, people are laughing around me and I can still make sense of what they are saying...so I must still be present in my body...I attempt to smile back and make a joke...I get odd looks...I make a comment to the Tall guy behind me, "Mike, if I faint what will you do?" he doesn't miss a beat and answers back, "I'll just kick you out of the way with my leg and take your spot in the front!" It's nice to know he has my back!

"Sprint""Run" version (but again, by this time, if felt more like a sprint)--I can barely see and we are only half way through...Luis keeps looking over to me and I am smiling, but by this time my heart is beating so fast and my lungs are burning so bad that all I can really think is, (Take me dear Father, let my spirit quickly rise out of my body, let me experience at this point in time that "out of body" experience...I can handle it...it won't seem weird)...

but wait, I am still thinking...a good sign...I tell myself.

We get to the part in the "Run" version where we twist our legs back and forth...like the famous "twist" move...but Luis doesn't do the normal 8 seconds-
like we have done before...
Luis continues it for a VERY long time,
evil drill sergeant...
and I am feeling all the pain and burn...I mean, one simple move shouldn't be so HARD, but it was...oh how bad it hurt! By the "Sprint" "Run" version I couldn't think straight and fumbled my moves quite a bit...
they are being honest when they say we learned them THAT day...so my mind couldn't go into automatic mode like it use to when I performed dances all the time in high school and college.

My body is hunched over...I can't even try to think anymore (but really, in my mind, I had thought I pulled it off, that I didn't look all that bad, I convinced myself that when the videos came out for the masses to buy and take to their homes, that they wouldn't be distracted by my utterly horrible "Sprint""Run" version of the Jive)

...and THAT is the clip that is put out there for whomever wants to see it, my fumbles, my slow motion feet...humiliating and embarrassing; and possibly the funniest thing out there recorded of me to this date (that could be argued)!

My little bro., MountainSport Man and I, laughed and laughed, cried, and tried to breathe! It's horrible, yet if it makes someone else out there happier and feel better about themself...then I am here for you, because I am so use to people laughing at me that I have gotten quite use to it...I will feel bad if it doesn't make you at least quirk one side of your mouth in a half-smile at how funny I look compared to everyone else out on that floor...they are all going 10 times faster than me...I look like I am doing it in SLOW MOTION...

So here I am laid out there for your entertainment...because if you can't laugh at yourself then you live a very sad life...or wait...my life is sad and I laugh at myself all the time...I'll stop with the quirky phrases! Love ya all and Enjoy!



I couldn't find the clip that was on Television...if I do...no worries...I will post it!
Now you can see the necessity for my Goal #3! Love Shelle

I hope someone can find a cure...I have it bad!

As you can probably tell from the Element above my posts, I have fallen in love with these UNWORDS! I think they are hilarious. Well, I was looking for my F unword of the day and I came upon this one, which totally describes my condition, here it is and here is my story:

FIMS (fĭms)
a. (acro.) Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome.
Example: My boyfriend has a bad case of the FIMS

I can't wait until they find a cure for this disease, because I have it bad! I wrote this section in my "Why? I just don't get it...really I don't" article, and my most awesomest of friends...her, them, and especially them, and I know they would have, had they been able to make it, proceeded to quote this section out of the post, not word for word, lol:

"Through the 1st semester of classes I had noticed that she didn't have many
friends and so I decided that I would try to see if I could budge her wall she
had set up around herself. If you know me you'll understand I thrive on
challenges such as these. I really do LOVE to get to know people...I'm not just
saying that, I really do...I really, really do... especially ones that people
feel either intimidated by or think are to different to get to know...I love to
see if I can connect somehow with them and become their friend...Most of the
time I find people become mean out of fear of being rejected or seem shut off
because they are really just extremely shy...they want to talk to everyone, but
they just can't seem to physically."

So there is where I put my foot in my mouth...this example is not that extreme, but I have LOTS of, more extreme, experiences with this syndrome, and believe me, I have gotten to the point where I just keep my foot there, in my mouth, and though it is embarrassing when people stop me and say, "Hey, did you know your foot is in your mouth?" I just shake my head up and down furiously and hold up my sign that says, "Better this way, then people know what to expect right from the beginning, they won't be as surprised or offended, in some cases, that I said, what I said, to get my foot in my mouth in the first place". Then those people who made such an obvious observation as my foot being in my mouth just give me that---Wow, that girls messed up---kinda look and we go about our seperate ways. Believe me...it's much better this way!

This is how the conversation went:

Them: "Shelle, we were laughing reading the one part where you wrote how you make it a challenge to become friends with those that don't have friends! My husband and I thought, 'Oh THAT'S the reason she became friends with us'! hahahaha!"

The rest of them join in: "Oh yea!" hahahah "we thought the same thing!" hahahaha!

Me: Jump up and down, hand in my mouth, little squeaks, and then, "Oh my gosh! I didn't even think about it that way!" my cheeks start to pinken, "that's totally how it sounded! I'm such a retard, I didn't even think that, of course, it would be taken that way!" hahaha! I think to myself, duh, Shelle, you are seriously such a dork when you try and explain yourself. (When trying to explain myself in my blog, is what I mean by that).

I couldn't explain myself properly when I was with them because I felt so sheepish to say the REAL reason why I was friends with them and, of course, I had my foot in my mouth so they probably wouldn't have understood me anway. Plus, they would have thought me a stalker...and I'm not...that bad anyway! :)

I would like to explain myself now. With these particular friends, and believe me, this applies to them and my friends who I would lay down my life for, to help them in any way, shape, or form...and YOU should know who you are! At least I hope you do! I want to say, you were a challenge to me but in a totally different way then the way I explained in my bully post!

There are some people you meet in your life that have this aura about them! It's beautiful and addicting and I am like a, bug drawn to the light, when I meet these people. I think everyone has the ability to see this about certain people, so let me try to explain...this is how it usually goes for me:

I see a person either at church, in the neighborhood, or a function where
I might see them quite a bit. I watch these people and,
in most cases, people are just attracted to them! They
give off this wonderful confidence or they give off a friendly and
encompassing vibe that can be so addicting! I am usually scared out of my
mind to go and introduce myself, but I can't help myself, I HAVE to get to
know them, it's like my spirit is telling me that I will benefit from being
friends with them...gosh, this is harder to explain then I thought it would
be. It may sound cheesy, but I actually believe I knew them before I came
to this earth and I believe also that we were close...so I feel like I am drawn
to them! I will admit that I am a person that has been
blessed with A LOT of friends, but there are very few people that I
can really call my CLOSE friends. They are those people that you can be
gone from them for A LONG time and when you get together again, you feel like
nothing has changed, (besides a few wrinkles on my part anyway,and a few
more kids!) They are those friends that you can call up last minute and
tell them you are going to the zoo and they try their darndest to come, and
some of them actually drop what they are doing and come with you, or they have a
really good reason why they can't...and you believe them because you absolutely
love them to death and know they would've been there if they could've come!

This definitely explains these friends I hung out with this last weekend! I LOVE them to death! I miss them terribly! And they have become a BIG part of who I am, even though some I have only known for a short time! Their shining examples of how to be gracious, kind, unjudgemental, and funny...oh most definitley funny...I am laughing my butt off most of the time I am with them...If I let them get a word in edgewise (wink, wink)!!!

So even though it may seem that I am trying to back track and make up for putting my foot in my mouth...I truly DO feel this way about them and those of you who hopefully know I hold dear to my heart...and the foot isn't going to come out anytime soon...so there is no use backtracking for me anyway, because it will get shoved right back in, in no time at all...which is another reason why I love my CLOSE friends...because they accept me for who I am...foot in mouth and all!!!

Lots of Love, Shelle

P.S. We flew up North for the day and went to go visit Grandma Viv and Grandpa Ty and found out that Grandpa Ty was in the hospital again for staff infection in his knee. He didn't like me taking pics of him sick in bed...but I got this great shot of my mother-in-law...isn't she beautiful!


Then we got to go to the zoo! Our main purpose of flying up for the day!
Here are the friends that came to the zoo with us! Then the others met us for dinner!
An albino alligator...not cute...these are one of my fears...drowning and dying from one of these yucky things...alligator or croc they both scare me!
This is one of the coolest animals the BLACK BEAR...so cool and they look so cuddly and gentle...but don't worry I have seen them in action on the Discovery Channel...they are powerful also!

DCar is so cute in his hate! He's such a boy now...crazy!

This is Pace...Isn't he handsome! Such a fun kid too...I love their family!

Here's Peeps looking at the Elephants on top of Dad's Head! That was her favorite spot because apparently, "My legs hurt mommy, I not walk!"

This is Tal...He's our friends second child...he is absolutely adorable...They kept saying that he was their terror child...but sorry to break it to you guys...he was an angel!!!

So we had a great time! I am posting some of the other pics I took on my Plush Moments site...when I get time...because as you know I had to take hundreds of pictures!!!