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I want you to know...that I am opening myself up to you here. I am completely vulnerable. This is something that I have wanted to do and had aside for awhile now...so here goes nothing...
I can honestly and completely say that this picture is by far MY favorite painting ever. I look at this and smile. I remember walking into my best friend's home and remember seeing this painting hung up in the hallway...I froze in place and just stared. Feelings washing over me...so many that I felt overwhelmed.
I instantly recognized the man in the picture...I knew who He was...but this was the first time I had seen the man that was in my head so perfectly portrayed in a painting. Sure there are many paintings out there of Him, but this one...this one is the ONE. This is who I imagine when I pray, this ONE is the man I want to see walking towards me at the end of my earthly life to welcome me home...I will recognize him, because this picture IS him...
I felt that standing there that day in the hallway of my friend's house. I had never felt so sure of anything else in my entire life...but I felt sure about this.
After that time I became obsessed with near death experiences and what life will be like after we have lived through our test here on this earth. I would fall asleep and dream of experiences I would go through...what I would see, whom I would see.
I have decided to start and try to write these stories or dreams or thoughts down. My dreams and thoughts and stories are so vivid and detailed that I am not sure that I can do them justice on paper...but I thought I'd try.
All of it is fiction, but is definitely influenced by the religion that I love,live, and am a part of. What I write is definitely not suppose be taken as fact whatsoever...it is just my idea and fictitious life I have created and would like to share with you.
In my room I would come up with this idea of what will happen when it is my time to pass on...what I will go through. I would ask myself questions like; Will I feel any pain? Will it be completely dark before I see the light? Will I be there for my funeral? Will I instantly be judged? How many people that have already passed on will know me and my spirit? How will we communicate?
With these questions I create a scene and I go from there. So hopefully you enjoy...I have never claimed to be a decent writer of any sort...I know my grammar has a lot to be desired. If you enjoy my little spouts of craziness then great...my Heavenly World always gives me hope when I have fear thinking about the things going on in THIS world. Who knows? I might not be that far off?
So if you are not into the whole heaven and God thing...then you might want to skip this post...but if you like to follow a story, and you like this one...then ENJOY!
As I entered the room I felt nervous, not because I was about to be judged, as soon as I passed over to this world from my Test on Earth I knew the next step for me would be to be judged. For I have to be judged in order to be placed into the world that I would live in for eternity...forever, but I wasn't nervous because of that.
I was nervous because I knew my brother would be there, in the room, waiting and ready to judge me. The brother that sacrificed his life for mine so that I could come back to live with him, in his world, along with my Father in Heaven. My brother would be there to speak for me...to be my lawyer in a sense, yet he would pass judgment also...he would decide my worth, he would decide if my Earth life was worth his sacrifice. That made me nervous for I did not want to disappoint him. I did not mind that there would be millions if not billions of other souls there to see my judgment, only my brother made me nervous, only what he thought mattered.
He was there to greet me when I passed on, my brother, his light enveloping me in his warmth after the feeling of darkness that had been invading me after my death on Earth.
I remember the complete darkness that overtook me, my spirit. I felt completely alone, despair etched in every fiber of my being. I could not see anything, I could not feel anything, I could only hear...wailing with a pitch so high that it was almost unbearable, the pain of the one suffering was ever increasing in volume and became the deafening sound enveloping my very soul.
I immediately pleaded, as I had done regularly on Earth, for my Father in Heaven to take me from wherever I was. What struck me as odd was the overwhelming need to pray for the one whose pain I could hear. "Please, Father in Heaven, please help him. Whatever he has done, please comfort him...take away his pain...I can't bear it." I was so overcome by my sorrow that I felt almost attacked, and I was defenseless. My feelings of remorse flooded over me and I began to weep...
And then I saw the flicker of light. It was as if the whisper of warmth tickled my soul. I still felt the feelings that a human would feel, but it was all more intense. I didn't have to look up...it was as if I could see the light by the feel of the warmth. I instantly recognized the light of the person it was emanating off of, I knew it was my brother. My spirit recognized him. And even though I was just re-entering the world from which I left to begin my Test on Earth, I could not deny His light...the light of my Saviour, my brother, Jesus Christ.
My spirit, my soul, was joyous! The hope that flooded through me was so big and so incredible that at first I could do nothing but enjoy it. And then I felt Him...he wrapped me in his arms, His tears of happiness felt upon my head. His warmth and love hit me like bolts of electricity over and over starting as a rush of energy from my head and ending at the tips of my toes. I clung to him, weeping, loving, and I breathed as if a heavy weight had lifted from me.
We didn't have to communicate through our voice. Our bodies communicated as well as our thoughts. Every ounce of knowledge that I had of Him came poring out. He knew I loved him, He knew I believed in him, that on Earth I had recognized his teachings and his help, and I could feel and hear him say, "Welcome back dear child, we have been waiting for you".
to be continued...
