1994 Born to be Humiliated...

I think that I was put on this earth to be humiliated, embarrassed, shown as pathetic if you will. It's not sad, its my plight in life...I realize I have this ONE purpose...besides the OTHER one that I mentioned in THIS article!

I think it is so other people can feel as though they have hope...that you can read this blog and say, at least I didn't go through THAT or you can say, and least THAT didn't happen to ME. Because like I have said before, it doesn't bother me that these things happen to me, I have accepted it, fit my life into the tight body glove that was fitted just for me.

I actually enjoy that I may bring you humor...a respite from you otherwise totally sane and lovely life...I mean who would want that? Predictability, something constant to look forward to...you know CLASS, always smooth and cool? Seriously...

I'm knew you wouldn't believe me by just telling you that I was born for this life of humiliation...I knew you would make me prove it...because you are sick and twisted like that. So I didn't hold back today...I went ALL OUT!

Just remember...you drove me to this point...you caused this.

Again, we are in the end of my Freshmen year...

My Mom, who growing up, was involved in EVERYTHING, had the same frame of mind as I did in the article just below this one...she believed in living through her children, making sure they were involved!

She found out that Cheer Tryouts were coming up...so she told me to go tryout...she didn't pay for ALL that gymnastics and tumbling for NOTHING!

To be honest...I didn't want to tryout...I knew my body wasn't made to be one...I was long and gangly...not at all what a cute curvy cheerleader should look like...I was a ballet dancer...sharp movement? Only if there was staccato music to go along with it! NO LIE!

So I went everyday to Cheer Tryout Camp. I hated it! I would go and practice and practice and practice...I would be sore in places I didn't even know how muscles connected to them. I would cry and complain and HOPE above all HOPE that somehow I could get injured to have an excuse to back out. But no go for me...because of that whole being-born-on-earth-to-be-humiliated thing. I was destined to try out.
The World Traveler in his college days was a YELL LEADER! He was really good at it also! He was practicing to lift me and with this exact picture and this exact moment...I almost caused my older brother his future kids. Let's just say, if you look close, you know what I mean...he never tried that with me again, and to be honest, I was terrified to harm anyone else.
This was the day of try outs! My mom chose my outfit...she probably did my hair also because, well, you know from previous flashback posts that I hardly did my hair at that time in my life.

I wasn't a coward people...I GAVE it my all! If and when I get the capability to show you the actual try out on video...I will, and I'll earn money for it being one of America's Funniest Home Video's, I swear!

My Mom, however, convinced me that I was the BEST one out there! I came home from that try out wondering when they were going to call me to tell me I had made it...I mean by her standards I'm surprised they didn't immediately just tell me I was on the squad.

So you can imagine my shock and horror when I found out that I HADN'T made cheer! I believe I cried out in agony...as if my life would end right then and there...how could the NOT take the tall and gangly girl...who couldn't hit a straight 'V' with her hyper extended arms if they paid her...why, oh, why...scream, rant, rave! I believe one of my really good friends was there with me, and I completely scared her...sorry Shannon!

That next week it was Drill Team Tryouts. I was hesitant to repeat my recent let down, but I gave it a try.

It was a whole other story! I was like a fish in water! I loved going, I loved practicing, I LOVED every minute of it! And I WAS GOOD! Even some of the Seniors were noticing me and giving me compliments on my talent! Aaaaahhhh...it was bliss!

I left the day of try outs and new I had done my best. I was first to find out I had made it on the team...purely by chance, not because I was the BEST...but it was such a rush and beautiful feeling when I found out I had made the team!

I think I might have thought twice if I would have known that for practice outfits we were all required to wear this...
I mean...SOMEONE thought that THIS outfit was a good idea...that it was fashionable! I'm not lying...I wouldn't do that about something this serious! I think this was actually one of those THONG leotards? Let's just say...I tried to lose this leo so that I didn't have to wear it...okay, I didn't TRY to lose it...I wasn't that brave, I knew I would get in trouble by my coach and I was just an itsy bitsy sophomore...I was a coward...but I thought about it... A LOT!
This was our Military costume! I think they were made for someone A LOT smaller and shorter than I...I'm afraid it didn't matter...I still had to look like everyone else...so I had to wear it...all I remember is the big wedgie I would get after each performance in this most UNCOMFORTABLE costume!
LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL...hold on, I need a breath here.

Okay, I'm back. That was our warm up outfit. It came with matching pants also...believe me, I felt stylish! LOL! WOW!

I knew you guys would appreciate it! I had to put it on there...I'm sure it would have been a lot cuter if it didn't ride all the way up to my armpits...that would be a camel toe...if I wasn't wearing tights...I actually went to a half time FOOTBALL performance looking like this...NO LIE!

Everything is becoming so much clearer...why I didn't date my Sophomore Year...hmmm...WOW, if I didn't already have the rule set in my family that there would be NO dating before I was 16...I really don't think there was a big line of guys ready to date me...this outfit proves it!

So there you go...your proof...I WAS born to be humiliated...I voluntarily put myself in these situations...it is my quest...my mission!

Did you ever get to wear a THONG leotard??? If you didn't you missed out!

Here are the Flashbacks if you want to catch up...
1990
1991-1992
Just 1992
1993 Part 1
1993 Part 2
Soccer Picture
1994 Part 1