Tuesday, July 29, 2008

No Money and the day I almost got beat up...

Your guys' comments were so funny! SOME of you actually helped me and I'm going to take your advice and run with it. I'm not even going to give you anything in return, I'm just going to selfishly take it.

I just want to say that I don't know if there is any time in my life I have ever been envied. So I am soaking it up! No really...I have opened my blog and read the comments over and over and indulged in your jealous words...I closed my eyes and day dreamed, stripped down and dove into your pool of covetous-ness and it felt good! I see why those pretty, popular, and smart girls enjoy being them. I have walked a day in their high heeled stillettos and I don't feel bad...it feels OH SO GOOD!

The only thing that I didn't tell you and that might have you pulling your jealous, envious, covetous, and green-eyed possessiveness from me is...I'll be flat broke when I get back...

Our small puny savings will be totally depleted...none, gone, zilch...not kidding. Both our cars are sucking air because I refuse to spend precious money I could take to London to fill them up. I will be pimping myself out to make up for our trips back to back. Especially because I pay double over there...the U.S. dollar SUCKS.

Anybody need a photographer? My ratio is still like 50 bad pics to 1 good pic...but, if you like what I do...email me...we'll do lunch, on you, because I won't have any money.

Here's some of my work:


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I was thinking about it the other day and I was thinking that there are a lot of new people that I am getting to know through my blog...and I love it...if you are around me long enough I will have probably mentioned it at least 5 times. "So I was reading on my blog yesterday" or "you HAVE to hear what happened to this chic today" or "are those guys REALLY that mushy gushy in love all the time? It's unnatural"...stuff like that. (Frankly, I think my husband is getting a little bit sick of it).

So I want to start telling you little things about myself that might deter you from wanting to get to know me more, or might endear me to you more, but I want to be honest and straight forward in the beginning of our blogging relationship, not hold anything back.

So here is something you may NOT know about me. I stare. I am one of those people that you would say, "Stare hard retard" or "take a picture it lasts longer" (maybe that is why I like photography so much...hmmm...I might have to google that or ask a therapist or something...I'm not sure what affects the human brain holds from childhood).


Sometimes staring at people gets me into trouble, especially when I was younger and not so good at it. I would continue to stare even when people caught me. I'm going to share an experience of how I almost go beat up:

I was in middle school. It was right before an assembly. I was walking into the girls restroom just about to pass the sinks and mirrors where both boy and girl could wash their hands after they went to the bathroom. I looked over to see a girl, a scary girl. She was as close to a ganster as you could get in our small little town, and she was looking in the mirror and sticking her tongue out trying to look at her tongue ring. She also had other piercings and she did weird things to her hair. She wore deep black thick eye liner to line her eyes and charcoal black lipstick to line her lips...yet she didn't quite fill in the rest of her lips. She shaved her eyebrows and half way up the back of her head.

She was new and different. I, no lie, slowed down and stared at her, staring at her tongue ring. She looked over to me and stared back. Then she got an evil look on her face and I remember thinking, 'Wow, she has really pretty green eyes! I wonder if those are real or contacts'.

Then she yelled at me while looking in the mirror, bringing me out of my revelry, "What are YOU looking at, B*!#@*?"

I instantly looked away and started walking into the bathrooms. She turned around. "What are you looking at? You think you are so much better than me? You think you have the right to stare at me?" I thought to myself, 'yes'. No I kid...I couldn't think at all...I was stunned.

I started sweating and wanted to run and hide away.

At that point in my life I didn't like confrontation and I usually shut down and said nothing...especially if someone was ranting and raving. I wish I opted for that and continued to say nothing...except for some VERY DUMB reason...out of my control...my body turned around and I opened my mouth and said, "I was staring at nothing. I didn't mean to be rude. I just need to go to the bathroom REALLY bad. Ummm...s-s-s-orry? What are you going to do...beat me up?"

Why I said that I don't know. If that isn't what set her off to say what she said next...maybe it was when I started laughing, (okay more like giggling because I couldn't believe I had just asked her if she was going to beat me up) yea maybe that was the last straw on the camel's back.

She said, "My LATINO boyfriend is here at the assembly and he hates people like you. You better not come to the assembly because if I see you there I'm going to have him kick your A$$!" Then she stormed away in all her gangster glory.

I stood there staring and shocked because first of all, she swore *gasp*, and in MY WORLD people just didn't swear. I heard it on rare occasion and almost always in a joking kind of giddy kid fashion not in a I'm-mad-and-am-going-to-kick-your-butt-fashion.

Second of all, she was going to have her boyfriend kick my butt.

I was scared. I vowed to NEVER stare again. I prayed to Heavenly Father that if he would this ONE time make me invisible I wouldn't stare at people ever, EVER again...because, you see, I was going to that assembly...I had to see the latest talent in our middle school and I was guaranteed to sit by my crush...he was saving a seat for my friend, who he liked. (Hey, opportunity knocks...I take it).

I went to the assembly, pale faced and scared out of my mind. I instantly told my friends and we spent the WHOLE assembly looking for the boyfriend.

Guess what? They ditched the assembly. I was scared, out of my mind, afraid for my freckled face, for nothing. I never saw the girl again, that I remember...or maybe I got over it quickly...or maybe I push the memories to the back of my brain and try not to remember...either way

I still stare. I spent five years of my life getting paid to stare as a lifeguard...but now I do it for free and a little bit more inconspicously...like, look away when they catch me staring.

So there you go...

Anything you need to tell me?

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8 comments:

Hirschisquirts said...

Ahhh...Shelle...You are hillarious. Thanks for making me smile when I read your blog!

Natalie said...

"Stare hard, retard!" Hahahahaha! My hubby is a hater of starers. He gets a little paranoid about it. "Did you see that person totally staring at me?! Aghh!" and I'm like, "uh...no. What are you talking about? No one is staring." I have the opposite problem. I hate when people catch me looking at them so I don't look around at faces much. I'd be no help at all in a police line up! :)

binks said...

Ok - Here is more love and kudos. I am happy I found your blog. It makes me laugh out loud.
Your photos are beautiful and artistic. I would hire you. But alas, I think you are on the other side of the world.
Stare-schmare who cares. I stare too - people intrigue me.
Now, when I was in school the tongue, navel and face piercings were for circus freaks. But I did have a run in with some tough girl cuz I got a spot of dirt on her new pants. Almost got my arse kicked.

Kritta22 said...

I TOTALLY stare too! I don't think I have EVER been on a date with my husband, in 3+ years, that he hasn't said, "Stop staring!!!!" LOL That is so stinkin funny that you do the same!

MERRIANNE said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

My hubby has a similar problem. I'm always telling him to stop.

Barbaloot said...

How can you get good blogging ideas if you don't stare at people with crazy comb-overs, Latino boyfriends etc?
I say stare away...but maybe get some dark sunglasses so people are never really sure if you're looking at them.

MomMega said...

First of all, GREAT pictures! And funny story. That's why I wear sunglasses, so I can watch as long as I want...

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