A bad habit I have...what are yours?

So here is something you may NOT know about me. 

I stare.

 I am one of those people that you would say, "Stare hard retard" or "take a picture it lasts longer" (maybe that is why I like photography so much...hmmm...I might have to google that or ask a therapist or something...I'm not sure what affects the human brain holds from childhood).


Sometimes staring at people gets me into trouble, especially when I was younger and not so good at it. I would continue to stare even when people caught me. Like when I almost got beat up:

I was in middle school. It was right before a really cool assembly, one NOT to be missed assembly. 

I was walking into the girls restroom just about to pass the sinks and mirrors where in the middle of the entry was a unisex sink before you entered into the designated bathrooms. 

I looked over to see a girl, a scary girl. She was as close to a ganster as you could get in our small little town.  She was looking in the mirror and sticking her tongue out trying to look at her tongue ring. She also had other piercings and she did weird things to her hair. She wore deep black thick eye liner to line her eyes and charcoal black lipstick to line her lips...yet she didn't quite fill in the rest of her lips. She shaved her eyebrows, then drew them in with that same black pencil, and also half way up the back of her head was shaved.  She was a little freaky okay?

She was new and different. I, no lie, slowed down and stared at her, staring at her tongue ring. She looked over to me and stared back. Then she got an evil look on her face and I remember thinking, 'Wow, she has really pretty green eyes! I wonder if those are real or contacts'.

Then she yelled at me while looking in the mirror, bringing me out of my revelry, "What are YOU looking at, B*!#@*?"

I instantly looked away and started walking into the bathrooms. She turned around. "What are you looking at? You think you are so much better than me? You think you have the right to stare at me?" 

I thought to myself, 'yes'. No I kid...I couldn't think at all...I was in a state of shocked horror.

I started sweating and wanted to run and hide away.

I was in middle school... I had zilcho confidence in myself.  So it still boggles my mind why I turned around and said, "I was staring at nothing. I didn't mean to be rude. I just need to go to the bathroom REALLY bad. Ummm...s-s-s-orry? What are you going to do...beat me up?"

The problem is when after I said it, it sounded what it was, FUNNY.  So then I had that half grin on my face, and that internal battle ensued... trying my hardest not to laugh, but not succeeding.

She said, "My boyfriend is here at the assembly and he hates people like you. You better not come to the assembly because if I see you there I'm going to have him kick your A$$!" Then she stormed away in all her gangster glory.

I stood there staring and shocked because first of all, she swore *gasp*, and in MY WORLD people just didn't swear. I heard it on rare occasion and almost always in a joking kind of giddy kid fashion not in a I'm-mad-and-am-going-to-kick-your-butt-fashion.

Second of all, she was going to have her boyfriend kick my butt (well actually my a.$.$., but you knew that).

I was scared. I vowed to NEVER stare again. I prayed saying logical things like I wouldn't stare at people ever, EVER again...

I went to the assembly, pale faced and scared out of my mind. I instantly told my friends, (maybe if the boyfriend had to get through a bunch of skinny, gangly, middle school girls, he would tire before he got to me),  and we spent the WHOLE assembly looking for the boyfriend.

Guess what? They ditched the assembly. 

I was scared, out of my mind, afraid for my freckled face, for nothing. I never saw the girl again, that I remember... or maybe I push the memories to the back of my brain and try not to remember... either way

I still stare. I spent five years of my life getting paid to stare as a lifeguard...but now I do it for free and a little bit more inconspicously...like, look away when they catch me staring.

So there you go...

Anything you need to tell me?

Love

Shelle

***I wrote this post originally in July of 2008.  But a lot of you didn't even know about blogs back then, and I really need you to embrace or reject ALL of my bad habits.  Ya know... for when you actually meet me you won't be SURPRISED!!! :)

Don't Tell me what to do!

Here is one of those times I get to tell you a little more about me.

I know...TOTALLY...

Lucky you.

So after this you may either hate me or love me...but it's going to have you going one way or the other.

I'm lazy when it comes to telling me what to do.

If someone COMMANDS me to do something, or tells me how to do something, or issues me to do something, instantly I revert back to being a child and I resist.

Strong and Immovable.

Most of the time people are just trying to help, or just trying to get my help, but for some reason it is like teeth scratching on a balloon or fingernails scratching down a chalkboard to my system, and I immediately rebel.

When I was first married I decided I wanted to cook my husband spaghetti. Easy enough, for someone that almost always cooked sandwiches and cereal and dry Ramen.

I began cooking.

My husband got home and I had a bunch of pans out and had dirtied them all. I was so excited to show my husband that I was cooking for him. I knew I didn't need to rush to him to welcome him home, we had a ritual as a newly married couple and that was for him to come up behind me, find me, and kiss me senseless...aaaahhhh, the good ol' days.

After our ritual had commenced he looked at the NOW disasterous kitchen and said, "Shelle you know you can use one pan to cook spaghetti. Two at the most. You don't need every pan we own. Ya know, just for next time so it is easier on you and me...clean up won't be so much."

I went from normal, content, and ready to please newlywed to demon-screaching-ready-for-revenge-hell-bent-on-defying my husband, newlywed. The NERVE of him...he was a MAN...who was HE to tell ME how to cook?

Was it logical? Yes.

Did I care? No.

And I continued for the next year to purposely dirty more than two pans when I cooked anything to prove that I KNEW what I was doing.

When I dry some batches of laundry and let them sit in the basket, sometimes forgotten, to fold...intending to fold them, but haven't yet.

If my husband walks by them and asks me when I'm going to fold them?

I leave them that way for a few days to prove them I meant to leave them there in the first place.

Are you catching my drift people?

I don't really like to be TOLD what to do. I like people to assume I have a brain and that I KNOW what I am doing.

Even though, underneath all the craziness, I KNOW I don't know what I'm doing!

Have I totally confused you yet?

Good. Maybe that will stop your from judging me...because this is a really bad personality glitch I have...and have been working on it since birth!

Love,

Shelle

Anyone else suffer from this personality plague? Does anyone have fast remedy for it? I'm sure my husband will love you FOREVER!!!

Annoying or Endearing Part 4

Okay here's another one of those posts where I tell you a little bit about myself.

To some these habits may be flawed and to some this habits or qualities may be endearing...if you relate to them.

I have already admitted I stare at people, sing when someone says something that strikes as familiar words to a song, and that I laugh at the most in-opportune times, so you already know those things...oh and the fact that I am obsessed with picking dry boogers so that I never have to be humilated by a cliff hanger again...oh and that I have racy dreams about book characters I read...

What? I haven't told you that yet?

Ummm...scratch that last dirty little secret...

My fingers where taken over by some foreign influence! I swear...like I would read books with Romantic Hero's with bodies ripped and defined who are manly men and aren't afraid of anything...but are also most sensitive and romantic when dealing with the ones they love...Yea...like I'm way to cool for that crap! (Edward? Jacob? Call me!)

Anyway...for what I'm about to divulge will either make you understand me more...or make you turn away in disgust...whichever it is...all I ask is for an open mind and to tell all you know about reading it on my BLOG page...because there is nothing better than WORD-of-MOUTH and bad press can be good press, right?

Okay...I have no patience. That's it! I have prayed everyday, whether on my knees or in my mind for patience...

But to tell you the truth...I don't even have patience to wait for an answer...or to be patient to gain my patience! It's a vicious cycle!

For instance...not being patient can be a good thing...when I want to get something done, I do it right away! But it also sucks...let me list the ways...

• Losing weight...I wanted it off yesterday...so I rarely am able to stick to a DIET...which is why I need to have a LIFESTYLE change...that will probably work better.
• Raising kids...if you have kids, you have no need for me to explain, if you don't...well let me just say--If you are already bad with TIME (such as myself)...forget every being on time to anything again, (although blaming kids for being late is a useful tool). Waiting for them to clean something up...waiting for them to tell you something...waiting for them to actually GET what is happening in the sport they are playing...waiting for them get better from an illness...the list goes on and on.
• Material Things--I am a horrible store browser because I ALWAYS find something I absolutely NEED at the exact moment I see it in the store! It takes every OUNCE of will power to pull myself away and NOT buy it. But since being married I have gotten better at this...unless it comes to Camera supplies or computers (Or buying clothes for my kids)...I try not to walk into stores that possess those things! :) So what I am saying is...I have a hard time WAITING to save for somthing...I confess, I am getting better at it!
• Waiting for a blogger who shall not be named (REE) to comment on my blog...I'm done...I've lost interest...forget about it! Who REALLY cares...and I don't have the patience to wait 16 and 1/2 years to get her to comment...so I forfeit my humor because it no longer amuses me...but I want to thank Insane Mama, Binks, and Kritta22--my unfailing soldiers who withstood this siege with me until I caved. (WoW...those romance novels are really having an effect on my writing...could be good and bad...hmmm.!)

Okay that is about it! I thank you ALL for playing yesterday! I had so much fun and the run was SO close this time...although KRITTA22 deserved alot more votes in my perspective because, no lie, it was SOOOO funny! But so were the rest of them.

I shall leave you with this...

Anything you need to tell me about yourself?

Shelle

You want to say something? I have a song for it!

It's that time again where I tell you, BLOG friends, of another annoying or endearing habit of mine. A few weeks ago I introduced to you that I stare. And I loved that you guys were honest with me in your comments. Some of you said how much you hated that...and others admitted to the habit. I loved it.

Well if you don't already know...I grew up in the "dance" world. My mother had her own studio and I started taking at the ripe ol' age of 3...but I started watching long before that. With dancing comes music...and it has also been an extremely HUGE part of my life. Which means I know a lot of songs. Maybe not all the right lyrics and maybe not the WHOLE songs...but I know a lot of choruses of songs and they stick in my head to be used later.

One of those other annoying (maybe endearing) habits that I have picked up is: when I am talking with someone...if their words, or mine, trigger a memory of a song I start singing the song right out! Or if a song stays in my head...I'll find myself singing, in the grocery store, at the library, during class in college and high school...church...it was crazy, and sometimes very embarrassing!

Remember when Ace of Base came out with "The Sign"...

there were many moments where I found people laughing at me because I would be singing, "I saw the sign, and I opened up my eyes I saw the sign...". No one that hung out with me for even a few minutes could get away with saying "sign" out of any context and me not break out into chorus!

IN high school...someone said "Friends" or "I'll tell you what I want"...forget it, I would break out in this song: "Wannabe" by Spice Girls

In the present day and age...my co-workers suffer daily with my weird and annoying habit. When the song "I kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry, came out I continued for well over a week singing that song every morning because I couldn't get it out of my head.

It was in my "WORKOUT" play list and I would listen to it during my Cardio workout because it has great "timing" to run to...and then I would dress and go to work.

The co-worker that sits in the cubbie right next to me would yell at me and tell me to stop singing (which I didn't know I was doing it out loud) I would then get it into her head...after a week or so, I just would quietly sing it and then listen for her from behind my cubbie to all of a sudden very silently start singing it and then grunt with frustration and yell, "Shelle, I swear I am going to kill you"... I would always just laugh and say, "or kiss me with your Cherry Chapstick!"

Just the other day I was talking with my other co-worker and he stupidly said, "I need to do more sit-ups" or something like that. I broke out into, "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun...you can do side bends or sit ups...but please don't lose that butt..." I'll spare you from quoting the rest because I know that whole song...but you catch my drift.

So there you go...I have laid myself open to all your condemnation to judge as you please.

Again I ask...is there anything you need to tell me?

Let me just leave you with another song that I had in my head for quite a while when I was in college...and yes I knew every word and when it said H-E-double tooth picks I would say, "heck". Anytime someone said "super" or "star" or "superstar" they were in for it! :)

No Money and the day I almost got beat up...

Your guys' comments were so funny! SOME of you actually helped me and I'm going to take your advice and run with it. I'm not even going to give you anything in return, I'm just going to selfishly take it.

I just want to say that I don't know if there is any time in my life I have ever been envied. So I am soaking it up! No really...I have opened my blog and read the comments over and over and indulged in your jealous words...I closed my eyes and day dreamed, stripped down and dove into your pool of covetous-ness and it felt good! I see why those pretty, popular, and smart girls enjoy being them. I have walked a day in their high heeled stillettos and I don't feel bad...it feels OH SO GOOD!

The only thing that I didn't tell you and that might have you pulling your jealous, envious, covetous, and green-eyed possessiveness from me is...I'll be flat broke when I get back...

Our small puny savings will be totally depleted...none, gone, zilch...not kidding. Both our cars are sucking air because I refuse to spend precious money I could take to London to fill them up. I will be pimping myself out to make up for our trips back to back. Especially because I pay double over there...the U.S. dollar SUCKS.

Anybody need a photographer? My ratio is still like 50 bad pics to 1 good pic...but, if you like what I do...email me...we'll do lunch, on you, because I won't have any money.

Here's some of my work:


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I was thinking about it the other day and I was thinking that there are a lot of new people that I am getting to know through my blog...and I love it...if you are around me long enough I will have probably mentioned it at least 5 times. "So I was reading on my blog yesterday" or "you HAVE to hear what happened to this chic today" or "are those guys REALLY that mushy gushy in love all the time? It's unnatural"...stuff like that. (Frankly, I think my husband is getting a little bit sick of it).

So I want to start telling you little things about myself that might deter you from wanting to get to know me more, or might endear me to you more, but I want to be honest and straight forward in the beginning of our blogging relationship, not hold anything back.

So here is something you may NOT know about me. I stare. I am one of those people that you would say, "Stare hard retard" or "take a picture it lasts longer" (maybe that is why I like photography so much...hmmm...I might have to google that or ask a therapist or something...I'm not sure what affects the human brain holds from childhood).


Sometimes staring at people gets me into trouble, especially when I was younger and not so good at it. I would continue to stare even when people caught me. I'm going to share an experience of how I almost go beat up:

I was in middle school. It was right before an assembly. I was walking into the girls restroom just about to pass the sinks and mirrors where both boy and girl could wash their hands after they went to the bathroom. I looked over to see a girl, a scary girl. She was as close to a ganster as you could get in our small little town, and she was looking in the mirror and sticking her tongue out trying to look at her tongue ring. She also had other piercings and she did weird things to her hair. She wore deep black thick eye liner to line her eyes and charcoal black lipstick to line her lips...yet she didn't quite fill in the rest of her lips. She shaved her eyebrows and half way up the back of her head.

She was new and different. I, no lie, slowed down and stared at her, staring at her tongue ring. She looked over to me and stared back. Then she got an evil look on her face and I remember thinking, 'Wow, she has really pretty green eyes! I wonder if those are real or contacts'.

Then she yelled at me while looking in the mirror, bringing me out of my revelry, "What are YOU looking at, B*!#@*?"

I instantly looked away and started walking into the bathrooms. She turned around. "What are you looking at? You think you are so much better than me? You think you have the right to stare at me?" I thought to myself, 'yes'. No I kid...I couldn't think at all...I was stunned.

I started sweating and wanted to run and hide away.

At that point in my life I didn't like confrontation and I usually shut down and said nothing...especially if someone was ranting and raving. I wish I opted for that and continued to say nothing...except for some VERY DUMB reason...out of my control...my body turned around and I opened my mouth and said, "I was staring at nothing. I didn't mean to be rude. I just need to go to the bathroom REALLY bad. Ummm...s-s-s-orry? What are you going to do...beat me up?"

Why I said that I don't know. If that isn't what set her off to say what she said next...maybe it was when I started laughing, (okay more like giggling because I couldn't believe I had just asked her if she was going to beat me up) yea maybe that was the last straw on the camel's back.

She said, "My LATINO boyfriend is here at the assembly and he hates people like you. You better not come to the assembly because if I see you there I'm going to have him kick your A$$!" Then she stormed away in all her gangster glory.

I stood there staring and shocked because first of all, she swore *gasp*, and in MY WORLD people just didn't swear. I heard it on rare occasion and almost always in a joking kind of giddy kid fashion not in a I'm-mad-and-am-going-to-kick-your-butt-fashion.

Second of all, she was going to have her boyfriend kick my butt.

I was scared. I vowed to NEVER stare again. I prayed to Heavenly Father that if he would this ONE time make me invisible I wouldn't stare at people ever, EVER again...because, you see, I was going to that assembly...I had to see the latest talent in our middle school and I was guaranteed to sit by my crush...he was saving a seat for my friend, who he liked. (Hey, opportunity knocks...I take it).

I went to the assembly, pale faced and scared out of my mind. I instantly told my friends and we spent the WHOLE assembly looking for the boyfriend.

Guess what? They ditched the assembly. I was scared, out of my mind, afraid for my freckled face, for nothing. I never saw the girl again, that I remember...or maybe I got over it quickly...or maybe I push the memories to the back of my brain and try not to remember...either way

I still stare. I spent five years of my life getting paid to stare as a lifeguard...but now I do it for free and a little bit more inconspicously...like, look away when they catch me staring.

So there you go...

Anything you need to tell me?