So here is something you may NOT know about me.
I stare.
I am one of those people that you would say, "Stare hard retard" or "take a picture it lasts longer" (maybe that is why I like photography so much...hmmm...I might have to google that or ask a therapist or something...I'm not sure what affects the human brain holds from childhood).
Sometimes staring at people gets me into trouble, especially when I was younger and not so good at it. I would continue to stare even when people caught me. Like when I almost got beat up:
I was in middle school. It was right before a really cool assembly, one NOT to be missed assembly.
Sometimes staring at people gets me into trouble, especially when I was younger and not so good at it. I would continue to stare even when people caught me. Like when I almost got beat up:
I was in middle school. It was right before a really cool assembly, one NOT to be missed assembly.
I was walking into the girls restroom just about to pass the sinks and mirrors where in the middle of the entry was a unisex sink before you entered into the designated bathrooms.
I looked over to see a girl, a scary girl. She was as close to a ganster as you could get in our small little town. She was looking in the mirror and sticking her tongue out trying to look at her tongue ring. She also had other piercings and she did weird things to her hair. She wore deep black thick eye liner to line her eyes and charcoal black lipstick to line her lips...yet she didn't quite fill in the rest of her lips. She shaved her eyebrows, then drew them in with that same black pencil, and also half way up the back of her head was shaved. She was a little freaky okay?
She was new and different. I, no lie, slowed down and stared at her, staring at her tongue ring. She looked over to me and stared back. Then she got an evil look on her face and I remember thinking, 'Wow, she has really pretty green eyes! I wonder if those are real or contacts'.
Then she yelled at me while looking in the mirror, bringing me out of my revelry, "What are YOU looking at, B*!#@*?"
I instantly looked away and started walking into the bathrooms. She turned around. "What are you looking at? You think you are so much better than me? You think you have the right to stare at me?"
She was new and different. I, no lie, slowed down and stared at her, staring at her tongue ring. She looked over to me and stared back. Then she got an evil look on her face and I remember thinking, 'Wow, she has really pretty green eyes! I wonder if those are real or contacts'.
Then she yelled at me while looking in the mirror, bringing me out of my revelry, "What are YOU looking at, B*!#@*?"
I instantly looked away and started walking into the bathrooms. She turned around. "What are you looking at? You think you are so much better than me? You think you have the right to stare at me?"
I thought to myself, 'yes'. No I kid...I couldn't think at all...I was in a state of shocked horror.
I started sweating and wanted to run and hide away.
I was in middle school... I had zilcho confidence in myself. So it still boggles my mind why I turned around and said, "I was staring at nothing. I didn't mean to be rude. I just need to go to the bathroom REALLY bad. Ummm...s-s-s-orry? What are you going to do...beat me up?"
The problem is when after I said it, it sounded what it was, FUNNY. So then I had that half grin on my face, and that internal battle ensued... trying my hardest not to laugh, but not succeeding.
She said, "My boyfriend is here at the assembly and he hates people like you. You better not come to the assembly because if I see you there I'm going to have him kick your A$$!" Then she stormed away in all her gangster glory.
I stood there staring and shocked because first of all, she swore *gasp*, and in MY WORLD people just didn't swear. I heard it on rare occasion and almost always in a joking kind of giddy kid fashion not in a I'm-mad-and-am-going-to-kick-your-butt-fashion.
Second of all, she was going to have her boyfriend kick my butt (well actually my a.$.$., but you knew that).
I was scared. I vowed to NEVER stare again. I prayed saying logical things like I wouldn't stare at people ever, EVER again...
I started sweating and wanted to run and hide away.
I was in middle school... I had zilcho confidence in myself. So it still boggles my mind why I turned around and said, "I was staring at nothing. I didn't mean to be rude. I just need to go to the bathroom REALLY bad. Ummm...s-s-s-orry? What are you going to do...beat me up?"
The problem is when after I said it, it sounded what it was, FUNNY. So then I had that half grin on my face, and that internal battle ensued... trying my hardest not to laugh, but not succeeding.
She said, "My boyfriend is here at the assembly and he hates people like you. You better not come to the assembly because if I see you there I'm going to have him kick your A$$!" Then she stormed away in all her gangster glory.
I stood there staring and shocked because first of all, she swore *gasp*, and in MY WORLD people just didn't swear. I heard it on rare occasion and almost always in a joking kind of giddy kid fashion not in a I'm-mad-and-am-going-to-kick-your-butt-fashion.
Second of all, she was going to have her boyfriend kick my butt (well actually my a.$.$., but you knew that).
I was scared. I vowed to NEVER stare again. I prayed saying logical things like I wouldn't stare at people ever, EVER again...
I went to the assembly, pale faced and scared out of my mind. I instantly told my friends, (maybe if the boyfriend had to get through a bunch of skinny, gangly, middle school girls, he would tire before he got to me), and we spent the WHOLE assembly looking for the boyfriend.
Guess what? They ditched the assembly.
I was scared, out of my mind, afraid for my freckled face, for nothing. I never saw the girl again, that I remember... or maybe I push the memories to the back of my brain and try not to remember... either way
I still stare. I spent five years of my life getting paid to stare as a lifeguard...but now I do it for free and a little bit more inconspicously...like, look away when they catch me staring.
So there you go...
Anything you need to tell me?
I still stare. I spent five years of my life getting paid to stare as a lifeguard...but now I do it for free and a little bit more inconspicously...like, look away when they catch me staring.
So there you go...
Anything you need to tell me?
Love
Shelle
***I wrote this post originally in July of 2008. But a lot of you didn't even know about blogs back then, and I really need you to embrace or reject ALL of my bad habits. Ya know... for when you actually meet me you won't be SURPRISED!!! :)
