Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Elliptical schmiptical

GO VOTE ON MY RIGHT SIDE BAR and then come back and read this if you want!

Okay...I wanted to REPOST this...because I'm having somewhat of a weird couple of days...feeling bleh, which is quite unlike me...

But yesterday, while going through posts to delete...I found this one and it made me laugh...thought you might enjoy it also! Love Shelle

April 12, 2008

Mr. Elliptical and ME use to have a pretty good relationship...you see, I would get on him (the Elliptical machine has to be a guy, because only guys make your heart beat faster than it should and at most times they somehow give you uneccessary pain...but you keep going back for more torture...hey, get your mind out of the gutter...my blog is G rated, or at least PG, ok sometimes PG-13, but never above that!)...Anyhow, I get on MR. Elliptical and usually we get along fine, I have a good workout and there is some discomfort, but usually I can work through it and I have a pleasant, sometimes invigorating workout, depending on what I am listening to on my IPOD!

Well, this last week it seems that Mr. Ellliptical was out for revenge...I haven't visited him much these last couple of months. Since jumping back on the exercising wagon I have opted for the treadmill to run.

I think he noticed, Mr. Elliptical, because on Thursday when I went to get on him everything seemed fine. I started pumping my legs and pushed the "Weight-Loss Program" and entered my weight and age

(I am always so tempted to lie, in case the people on the treadmills behind me are watching, but that defeats the purpose, right? I mean how could it accurately give me my calories burned if I type in a much lower weight with a few years younger age?)...

I get going and instantly, I'm not kidding, instantly I feel that deep burning in my chest...it hurts, but I just tell myself, "Shelle, you can work through this, don't let other people see that you are desperately tempted to get off this machine, even after" and I look at the time, "it being only 3 minutes into the workout" I groan a bit to myself.


It's only been 3 minutes? Do you think the people behind me will notice if I struggle off this thing breathing heavy after only just getting on? I'm not going to test that...I can endure this, I think to myself, I can do this

But my heart is beating REALLY fast, almost to the point where I feel that if I don't do something about it I might humiliate myself more by fainting...no I'm kidding, It wasn't that bad, but I still contemplated the idea, maybe to fake it so that people didn't think I was a complete dork by getting off Mr. Elliptical after only 3, and now 1/2, minutes of being on him. I also know at 4 minutes Mr. Elliptical changes from a level 2 incline to a level 9 incline, can I take it?

I did get through the 28 minute exercise...that's right, it's only 28 minutes, but it really felt like a 55 minute kick boxing aerobic class workout...and I literally felt like I had lit a match to my chest and had taken a hammer to my butt, legs, and thighs!

I swear, it has never hurt that bad before...what was different? Did the evil workers at the Rec Center somehow guess that, that day I was going to get on Mr. Elliptical and tighten the bands or something?

And today, TWO days later, I am sore...sore like I had only worked out yesterday or something, sore like I can't sit down on the toilet normal sore, or sore like I can't walk down stairs sore...I bet it was a funny sight when I attempted to walk down the airplane stairs yesterday, stiff legs, like stilts walking down the stairs one leg at a time...at least I made someone else smile...

I might have to remember that "hell hath no fury like an Elliptical Machine scorned!"

This promise is for you Mr. Elliptical...I promise to visit with you at least once a week...I won't abandon you again for so long and I hope to make that two times a week if I can fit it in...because I don't EVER want to hate you as much as I hate you now, or on Thursday when we had our workout session, because I am not a hateful person and I just plain don't like having these feelings of animosity...so I hope you accept my promise and in return take it easy on me next time

P.S. How do you make really sore muscles unsore so that you don't have to pop IB Profin in every 6 hours like a drug addict? Anybody? I still want to know the answer to that question...

Also, I got this Elliptical machine picture from
this URL, just incase it's copyrighted. It's an exact replica of the one I worked out on, on Thursday!

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