Monday, March 30, 2009

You should have been in my pilates class with me yesterday!

You guys so wish you went to Pilates with me yesterday!

Pilates is one of those classes that you have to find your inner Zen.

You DOUBT you sweat, but you also try and breathe through the movement so that you can find a relaxing, meditative's not quite as strict as YOGA...but it's suppose to build your core as you breathe and strengthen your muscles.

If you've done know what I mean.

My pilates instructor is one you envy. She has a killer body and she's a NAZI when it comes to making it BURN--she breaks a sweat like the rest of us, but she glows with inner know what I mean, one of THOSE girls.

She is the only pilates instructor I have come upon that talks to us while we suffer!

She will say, "Do you feel it burning yet?" and if we don't answer she just keeps going thinking we aren't SOMEONE in the class has to yell, "YES! It burns it hurts I'm SUFFERING!" (it's usually me) to which she will reply, "Then we have 8 more!"

My thing is...I'm in pain right? I can barely BREATHE right?...let alone get out a coherent WHINE or COMPLAIN!

SO when I go to this class...I'm ready to work and I am at my UPMOST maturity level. (Just cause the movement can be kind of funny and dirty if you have one of those it use to make me giggle, but NOT anymore!)

Except for yesterday. I got in late to class. So I take the back row like a respectful late person would do and arrange my mats.

I join in leg circles with the class.

I'm minding my own business...letting my mind wander...wondering what ZEN even means? Then I spot something that made me chuckle a little...

There was a girl, who let me just say...has more of a pear shaped body, whose spandex pants had slipped down...somehow...and was showing her THONG. Not the ones you wear on your feet either...and it was showing just enough, with dimples all around it, so that the first thing that popped in my head when I saw it was something MountainSport Man said once, "It looks like her butt is eating her underwear".

Now I know that sounds mean...and I'm really not a mean person, but sometimes I can't help what I think.

For some that that class...while I was finding my inner Zen...that thought struck me as funny...and I started to laugh. I couldn't stop.

Mind you, other people are trying to drift to WHO KNOWS WHERE to relax and I'm making gulping, hiccuping, breathing sounds trying NOT to laugh...and right when I would get myself under control...I would glance over there and start laughing again.

Soon it was a FULL belly gut laugh.

I tried to play it off that I was in so much pain that I was laughing about it...and PHEW they believed me and just smiled...while tears are streaming down my face and I'm feeling like I'm going to die because I can't breathe from laughing so hard.

So we go into our next move. You begin by lying flat on your back with your arms above your head. Then you slowly and controlled bring your arms and legs in to a tuck position and then unfold keeping your head, arms, shoulders, and feet above the ground contracting your stomach. It HURTS like a mother...and we seem to do it forever!!!

On our second to last tuck I hear a human-whoppee-cushion sound...

Oh! That was TOO much. I began laughing again...All I could think was...

"Hmmmm...that thong must have been good!"

I just wish there would have been someone there to share it with...



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