Friday, August 28, 2009

THoughts Friday Random-Giveaway edition!

I know I know I keep mentioning Twitter. But for someone like me who loves to laugh, if you follow the right people, you can be laughing all day long! No joke!

Someone told me the other day after one of my tweets that I should be a motivational speaker!

OMGosh how did they KNOW that that was my life dream??? CRAZY!!!

So I was all sorts of flattered and thought I would share some of my twitter knowledge with you and then share some of the twitter names of those people that pretty much make me laugh on a daily basis with their tweets!

So what I'm saying is... don't twitter, it's of the devil, you'll HATE it.

What? ME use reverse psychology? You're trippin right now... I'd NEVER stoop so low! :)

My TWITTER BITS of KNOWLEDGE in which NONE of them are motivational or knowledgeable:

"A girl walked into the bathroom humming, should I say, nicely "excuse me, could u keep it down? I'm on the phone?" and see what she does :)

Sometimes I like to drive right on the side of another car and make my own roadblock just to prove a point that I am all powerful!

Have u ever been @ a stoplight and had the urge to slightly bumped the car in front of u and yell,"Bumper Car Tag! UR it!" neither

I'm listening to that song, "Indian Outlaw" by Tim McGraw makes me want to spit! Gasp! I know I'm such a rebel...

I ponder sometimes about the fact that if the world really DID revolve around me that everyone would be a lot happier! True story! :)

I like to run around and splash water all over my face so that when my hubs gets home he won't suspect I've been on the computer too long!

Why start ur day by saying"todays going 2 b a good day"? Sets urself up 4 failure! Start by saying"todays going 2 suck!" only up from there!

Isn't it my duty to call a guy a sissy if he sneezes like a girl? Or better yet that he sneezes cuter than me?

I have to hurry but they r making me get naked from the waste up for my facial!!! Is this normal? Gotta go they're coming!

After facial:

All of that and all they did was massage my face... I'm kind of disappointed!"

***I wonder about that person that feels I should be a motivational speaker... but everyone their own, right? lol!

Okay here are some of my favorite tweeters!

@sween example of a series of his tweets: "I like to make fun of orphans because their threats to tell on me are so adorably empty.

I'm kidding! I don't tease orphans. They're beneath me. Literally. They're really short. From malnutrition. ADORABLE malnutrition.

Seriously though ― orphans are sad. Tee-hee.

Come on, orphans! I'm just fooling with ya! Ya know I love ya! Who wants to get deloused? Yeah, I thought so. *Everyone* love delousing!

Thank goodness orphans have those cute little consumptive coughs so they can't sneak up on you. Orphans make horrible ninjas.

No orphans were harmed in the making of these tweets. Except wee Bartleby. Donations in lieu of flowers."

@DrZibbs some tweets of his:
"Whenever I see someone with like 30 followers I'm like, "What a nobody"...unless it's YOU of course.

if i had a legit massage parlor the tagline would be ... sad endings only.

I might have some of my best tweets embroidered onto pillows. Just so it's not too gay I'll man things up by filling the pillows with rocks"

One more @FatherKelly some of his tweets:
"Just got a call requesting that I bless a parakeet. I'm not making this up. I told them a 5th of scotch was usual payment. They bought it.

Sometimes in the confessional box I'll say, "You did what?! I don't believe you. Bring pictures to prove it". Some of them actually do.

My vampire fighting class starts in 15 minutes. Love the class but the instructor is a SUCH a know-it-all dick!

They say you can't throw a stick around priests w/out hitting a gay. So I throw a stick and I hit Father Brennan right in the nuts. Irony."

Okay last thing... the best thing about going to New York is they allow their Mentally Ill to go out and perform on time square! They say they are "magicians" and the thing is people WATCH and THROW MONEY at them they actually BUY it! But I know different so I just take a picture! :)

I mean what magician uses a old Halloween candy pumpkin bucket??? A real magician would have use a black floating TOP HAT... DUH!

So YOUR turn... put your Random Thought in the comment box!!! The person with the BEST Random Thought today gets a $10.00 Amazon Gift Card! If you are a tweeter... TWEET this AWESOME giveaway! lol!

I'm serious though, the person that makes ME LOL the most... wins!


P.S. Sage is talking flirting over at Real World Venus vs. Mars today... he has a thwarted sense of it all but go check it out anyway! :)

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