Monday, January 5, 2009

Fecal Matter...Don't You Hate It When!

Okay the following is a true story.


I warn you that you might not want to be eating when you read this.

Or STOP here if your stomach gets queasy easily.

Are you still reading?

Then don't blame me for any sort of vomiting or dry heaving you experience.

Because just writing this makes me go though recent memories that I have pushed, shoved, and tried to erase from my psyche...but feel the only way to fully do this is to leave it behind me, or on this blog, where forever it will be written down and taken from my mind.

As Nutty Hamster Chick recently told me which was somewhat prophetic, "A blog is forever"...and it is forever, until you delete it, or until the end of the world comes. But I feel a part of what I have written down is recorded elsewhere to be in records that MAY be forever...ya know? So I feel she knows more and feels deeper than most Nutty Hamster Chicks and I am good with blog aura's, and hers is the purest I trust her deep thoughts.

So as part of my therapy process I am taking this buried experience and bringing out for all to read so the story will continue...and maybe help someone else...because I'm giving that way.

This story is TRUE, and most definitely, a DON'T YOU HATE IT WHEN story, in its truest form...

Don't You Hate It When... One sec...I just vomited in my mouth...

Okay, I'm good...

You are walking into Target and your husband grabs your the point of hold you back because if you took ONE MORE step you would have stepped into a LOG of POO!


My husband saw a lady darting towards the Men's Bathroom, when to HIS horror, a LOG of POO rolled out of the pant leg of the women rushing in front of us to the bathroom.

grant it...she had somewhat of a limp...


She didn't miss a step or acknowledge that she had just dropped fecal matter in the path of my soon to be step! What the what?!!!

I stood there frozen, queasy, yet frozen.

Looking down and with utter disgust I said, "Eeeeewwww she just poo-ed on the floor!"

(I know, I feel ya MOM!)

I know...I like to point out the obvious, its what my husband says is one of my most endearing qualities.

At that same moment she walked OUT of the Men's Bathroom...I stared at her, she looked at me, then walked straight down into the Women's Bathroom.

At that point I felt bad for her. I did. But I couldn't wrap my brain around it.

I don't understand...when it's a LOG of poo...isn't that an easier think to hold in? I mean, I get diarrhea, or water poop, as Peeps calls it, but a LOG of poo? To roll down your leg, out your bum, and down your leg? Your sphincter would have to open up for that to happen right? Sorry to get all vulgar, but it's true. It just seems to me that she would have been able to hold it until she reached the bathroom? Even if it was the Men's. Poor Thing.

But I don't know? She did have a limp...and I know, no one in their right mind would do that on purpose...duh!

Then I was hit with a dilemma.

Do I tell the employees? Because if I tell them are they going to think it was me that had fecal matter roll out my pant leg? Would they think I said someone else did it, but it was really me? Like when someone let's a silent one go...then waits until the first person smells it and lets them say, 'Eeeewww who farted?" and then they say, "The first one who smelt it dealt it?"

Should I risk it?

As I turn around and see a beautiful blonde girl on her cell phone, in her own world, talking as if the whole world and myself, along with my husband, wasn't watching her hoping with all hope that she doesn't step on the log before I can warn her off...

I knew...I knew, *sigh* that the day before Christmas Eve, Eve, was just as good as a time as any to swallow my pride and let the Target employees know.

If I had been in my right mind and not feeling the after effects of dry heaving I would have realized I could have just had my husband do it...

Oh well.

Now the employees at Target give me weird looks and whisper behind their hands as I shop there...but I feel as if I did the right thing...ya know?

Please tell me you Hate when that Happens? What would YOU have done?



Happy Monday, right?

No worries...I have a post in drafts that I shall post tomorrow about Public Bathroom Etiquette!

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