Tuesday, July 15, 2008

All I am asking for is a Courtesy Flush...

The title says it all...but I am all about the deep issues here at BlokThoughts and something has come up with my husband and I that I hope you guys can help me us with.

We are having a bit of trouble agreeing on many one particular issue...

I know, I know...total SHOCKER...if I don't have the most perfect marriage, I don't know who does...nonetheless...I am here to solve the MOST IMPORTANT issue of issues.

I was at work...if anyone knows me in the REAL world...you know that I HATE to waste time going to the bathroom. It is seriously the most boring of boring things to do...and I curse my bladder EVERYTIME I feel the urge to pee...ESPECIALLY if it is NOT at my house in the comfort of my own home...

But I was at work...I felt the urge, and my bladder had held on as long as it could


So I rush out of my cubie and make it to the bathroom just in time. I see that there is NO one else in the stalls and I was relieved to see that my FAVORITE stall (the handicap) was open and available for my use. Hey...don't play hate...it has more room for me to...uuuhhh...do my business.

I'm sitting there twiddling my thumbs...and for some reason my pee had stage fright or something because it didn't automatically come out...so I'm sitting there WAITING...when someone else comes in the bathroom. (For some reason...my body always tenses UP when someone else comes in a bathroom that was previously empty of all patrons besides myself)...I thought to myself, "Crap...now I am for sure going to have stage fright"...this is why I HATE public restrooms...because even though I am not SHY in nature...My body is shy when emptying bodily fluids...plus the fact I hate to take the time to do it!!!

Just so everyone knows for FUTURE reference...there is a EVERY-OTHER-STALL standard that must be practiced when entering a nearly empty and quiet bathroom. When there is only ONE other person besides yourself...please, PLEASE, don't go in the stall RIGHT next to them...ESPECIALLY if you have to go number TWO (which equals poo for all of you that are not from this planet and don't KNOW that!)

That is what my fellow co-worker did. The lady sits in the stall RIGHT NEXT TO MINE and proceeds to have a BLOW OUT. I'm surprised she made the toilet and I WOULDN'T be surprised is she had to clean up after. She grunts and she groans and then I hear the droppings hit the water...

Seriously 5 minutes go by and the lady is STILL emptying whatever she had for dinner the night before and apparently for breakfast...

And the WHOLE time I am thinking..."Where the HECK is her courtesy FLUSH". See there is a rule that must be followed along with the EVERY OTHER STALL rule. That is the rule where if you are going number TWO...and you begin to POO...please don't BLUSH...just FLUSH.

Seriously...I don't want to smell your STANK...so flush it away before too much of the smell drifts up and over or under the stall doors to hit my nose.

This happens to me quite often because I usually have to wait until the person is done before my body relaxes and is allowed to finish emptying its contents...and I am ALWAYS floored how many people don't know of the Courtesy Flush rule. It's crazy to me!

This is where my husband argues my point. He said, "If you go into a public restroom, then you shouldn't be surprised when people are using the bathroom and stink it up...that is what it is for...to GO TO THE BATHROOM. They don't have to care about how it smells or if someone else is in the other stall...they get in, do their business, and get out. It's not rude if you don't flush. I don't"

Those poor people that have had to experience my husband's STANK in a public restroom...I feel for you...if I knew who you were I'd pay for your therapy...NO one should have to live through that.



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