Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Who I was in high school...

Who I was in High School. Inspired by THIS post and THIS post.

You know guys... I KNOW I'm different because I'm older and have matured and been through stuff that just makes you change and grow up but high school for me was three things: dance, SCHOOL (like actually study), and social.

*Hello Glamour shot! hahahahaha! OMGOSH gotta love High School*

That's it.

I KNEW a lot of people, was invited to a lot of parties, could kind of adapt to whatever group I felt like hanging out with... but like I commented on the other two blogs that inspired me, I was more two dimensional, black and white, good and bad.

I loved me in high school. I was a nice person. I just didn't KNOW a lot hadn't experienced enough. I knew a lot about dance, I was pretty BOOK smart, but as far as the WORLD goes... I didn't really know a whole bunch. And I'm glad.

My voice was those who influenced me the most. My parents. I believed what they believed, that includes religion. I repeated what I had been taught to know and repeat... that is just how it went.

After a few times of getting caught doing the wrong thing in middle school I learned that getting into "trouble" took to much time and effort. So I did what my parents said, thought what they told me to think, and lived my life the best way I could with my boundaries.

I loved almost every minute of it, high school was good to me.

I crushed on boys... a lot. I had 3 REALLY close friends in High School and we would jump from one group to another never really staying or hanging with the same group of people. I learned to love my Father in Heaven. I trusted WAY to easily and was burned a lot because of it. I made Dance my life.

I still get this when I see people from high school, "Oh Shelle right? You were in (Drill Team Name) right?" It defined me... and I loved it.

That was me.

That was who I was.

The thing that I wished was different was I wished I let people in more. Sure I made people feel that way, but I put on a front. I appeared ALWAYS happy, when in reality it was all a facade. I had normal emotions like everyone else, but I only allowed myself to show one emotion. My closest friends were the only ones that really KNEW me and I was okay with that.

I was happy to say that almost everyone I graduated with I hung out with at one time or another... I just LOVE people. And I'm still that way.

So although I liked who I was in high school, I would NEVER want to be her again though.

I think that changing and becoming a better person than who you were is a must. The worst kind of person is the one who is stuck back in high school and the "what could have been" mind frame.

I love who I am becoming. I love that there are more dimensions to me... some shallow and some deep... but there nonetheless. I think more now when I speak to people (still working on that though); I smile more, I laugh harder, but I also get mad, sad, and I cry; I am a mom and LOVE being a mom (one a completely natural birth. Labor use to be one of my greatest fears) even when I get frustrated with it; I take pictures and continue to work at being and one day becoming a Professional Photographer; I work at a job that I have to listen to a co-worker tell me about her life and WO-BE-HER everyday because she needs me to; I married my best friend and continue to get to know him and who he is changing into; I blog and meet interesting people everyday who let me share a part of my life with them-because I NEED it, I have traveled and learned about other cultures and walked through dirty cities and small towns; I've fought when I felt like I needed to, I've bitten my tongue when I would have rather not, I've been passionate about certain issues and made my voice heard or debated; I've experienced death of a close one and birth with the ones I loved; I've compromised; I have a deeper understanding of my religion and am thankful that I was blessed to have it in my life and the peace and perspective it gives me; I'm definitely more curvy (my kids fault); I exercise and watch what I eat, most of the time, but still splurge when I'm really happy or really sad; I like to scrapbook but don't have time; I like to write and would one day like to write a Romantic Comedy novel :); and I adapt better to change.

There is just A LOT more to me now (that wasn't MEANT to be a fat joke)... and I hope in 10 years when I'm blogging through my brain into a blue tooth that then types it onto my blog... I hope my list is longer and I hope that I am better because I've grown and changed and learned.

What about you guys? Who were YOU in high school?




P.S. Chief is the winner of the $10 Amazon Card, her comment is in the comment of the day if you want to link to her.

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