I'm feeling melancholy today.
But in a good way.
I'm a teacher for my Relief Society.
That is my calling.
I enjoy it SOOOO much... but every time I go to prepare a lesson I read and research and read in hopes of covering what I need to cover and picking out the best possible thought or lesson embedded in ALL that we are given to present.
Sometimes, I feel, I must admit that I am overwhelmed and under-qualified. I thought that after a while I would feel more comfortable and less overwhelmed...but I haven't yet.
Every lesson effects me differently... sometimes I am filled with hope, sometimes I am filled with guilt, then sometimes I am melancholy.
Like today. My lesson was during the time Joseph Smith was in Liberty Jail. Where we get Doctrine and Covenants sections 121, 122, 123... like other religions and people, the saints suffered persecution, imprisonment, and death because of what they believed. They were different in what they believed, unknown, and feared. The authorities that put the Prophet and some of the leaders in jail admitted that they (the prophet and leaders) did nothing wrong, but the state authorities and officials were afraid of what the MOB would do if they were to release the prisoners. For MONTHS they were kept in horrible conditions for no other reason then one of fear.
You know what brought the Prophet and Leaders the most anguish while they were imprisoned? Hearing what the guards were saying was going on to the saints... about persecuting, beating, and driving them from their homes.
I don't get that? I can't wrap my brain around it. I taught the lesson, I understand what lessons they learned, I get that part.
I just don't get cruelty at all.
I know it just isn't our church, there are other religions and groups of people who have been or are going through this kind of cruelty...
So I'm melancholy.
But it's good...cause it reminds me of the person I want to be...
I may not be able to make a HUGE difference being just me, but I don't have to add to ignorance that is combined with cruelty.
Hope you had a good Sunday...
Love,
Shelle
