Monday, April 13, 2009

The Easter Bunny is a jerk.

Okay Easter...Just random stuff I thought I would share.

I'm talking about the Easter Bunny not the religious part of it.

Okay.

First off. For our Annual City Easter Egg hunt.

It was raining.

But I forged ahead because I'm a cool Mom...or maybe they think I'm a Mom that torture's them...either way, I was going to give my kids that WONDERFUL Easter Egg Hunt experience, where you run at full speed for the eggs that are going to get you prizes hoping that you aren't breaking anybody else's bones but not caring if you do.

So as we rush to the park to make it to the Easter Egg Hunt because we had 5 minutes until start time (yea, I'm horrible with time...don't judge me!) and I'm preping my kids to find the BIG eggs cause they are more than likely going to have cool prizes in them, I'm realizing it might have been smart to grab the umbrella because I don't think my video camera is water proof!

My husband and son stay at his area and I run my girl over to her area.

Some sweet lady shares her umbrella with me. I looked like a drowned rat...a really pathetic drowned rat, not even in a cute drowned rat sort of way like on the SPIDERMAN movie where they have that kissing scene in the rain and the Spiderman kisses lead girl upsidedown...no, I looked pathetic enough that a lady didn't even ask, but just stood by me with the umbrella over me.

and Yes...I thanked her.

They started counting down...I leaned over to my daughter and said, "Okay PeePs, just run as fast as you can and fill up your basket!" all sweet in a dripping with honey sort of way. I'm hoping she read between the lines, because that was really code for, 'You better get an egg with a prize or don't come back!'

Then they were off...I tried to follow her around with the camera...yea RIGHT!!!

I should have trained her better...instead of actually staying in one area and sucking up everything around her, she flitted, FLITTED, around and daintily picked up one candy and then FLITTED a little farther down and DAINTILY picked up another candy.

I think I lost her like 6 times.

Neither of my kids got any eggs just the candy.

When we got home and dumped out the rest of the loot...we found that ALL of that sacrifice in the rain, the rush, the drowned rat, the flitting around and getting nothing noteworthy...my CITY gave my kids OLD valentine and christmas candy.

What the WHAT???

On top of that...I have been off sugar for like 9 weeks. I was going to allow myself one day, EASTER, to eat sugar.

I thought FOR SURE the Easter Bunny, knowing me as he does, would get me my favorite treat...Peanut Butter M&M's (for the protein of course). Come Easter morning...no Peanut Butter freakin M&M's.

So the Easter Bunny is a jerk.

I ate sugar though...I showed HIM! In fact, I ate SOOO much sugar I was in a state of coma for an hour in the middle of the day. On the Love Sac. With my mouth hanging open. And chocolate all over my mouth.

So how was your Easter?

Love,

Shelle

30 comments:

Ashley said...

Your story totally cracks me up! We had a rainy Easter here too, and didn't even attempt to do any egg hunts or even really go outside at all today. So no cute outdoor Easter pictures for us! At least you made an effort! :)

tiffany said...

Oh no they did not... that's just wrong.

ukyankoz said...

That is really wrong - what do you pay taxes for, anyway??

(Oh, and remember the sexy Spiderman kiss was actually mouth-to-mouth resuscitation according to Toby Maguire cause the water was running down his nose and he couldn't breathe. I'm just saying.)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Ashley--I thought is was mandatory with nature for a SUNNY day on Easter?

Tiffany--OH YES THEY DID! Seriously...HUH?

UKYANKOZ--HA! I wondered if anybody had seen that special where they talked about that kiss. LOL...at least it LOOKED all sexy!

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

Well, we are in a recession, you know.

My advice: get yourself to Target or WalMart today. You know all that delicious Easter candy is half-price.

Three words: DOVE TRUFFLE EGGS!

Erica said...

I was also in a sugar induced coma yesterday. Come on it's easter. I'm not even tempted by Christmas, Valentines, or halloween candy. Bring on the easter candy and let it come out right after Christmas! I can't even look at another cadbury egg or I will throw up. But I loved it while it lasted. By the way my faves are peanut butter M&M's. I could eat an entire huge bag of them myself! Embarassing I know! I'm glad you finally got to eat sugar. Remember when we'd leave hot tamales in our cars in college. I ate tons of those things with you!

T said...

I'm just recovering from my reese's pieces eggs coma myself... but there's 1/2 a bag left (The Easter Bunny got tired of stuffing eggs so just threw the whole bag in my basket)

We hunted in the rain too... but surprising less rain since we went up North to hunt. Yet another opportunity missed to come and meet you in person!

Believe it or not, I actually live next door to the gal who normally does the candy shopping for the hunt... I'll have to find out what was up!

Kristina P. said...

That Easter Bunny. What a bastard!

Southern Sage said...

Dang girl. I won 2 outta 3 egg hunts I was in! The candy will be on sale today. Maybe they can raise y'alls taxes and get fresh candy for next year! I'll email the Governor on your behalf and see about that tax hike. Did you call the White House? I'll hit O up also.
I'm lookin out for you!

shannon said...

I feel your pain!--Too bad you aren't here with me now to help me eat the candy out of the 100 plastic eggs and 8 bags of dark chocolate m&m's that I bought to put in my party favor bags for the big egg hunt that I was attempting to host on Saturday--(due to the rain...it soooo didn't happen! (see my post on that one!) grrrrrrr

As far as I'm concerned, the Easter bunny AND mother nature are jerks!

Yours makes for a funnier story, though!--Mine's just down right depressing!! :(

Lara said...

Basically, I felt like crap yesterday and I ate way too much (sugar and otherwise). I definitely blame the Easter Bunny.

And hey, budget cuts are budget cuts. Old candy saved the city some moolah...who can blame them? :)

Amanda said...

All I wanted was a couple Reese's eggs. I didn't get them either. And no, the regular peanut butter cups won't do.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

No Resses??? I would have thrown down with the Easter Bunny right there and then.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

That ole easter bunny's a wily fellow. No peanut butter m&m's? I think I would have said Goodbye easter bunny!

I can picture you standing in the rain looking drowned (and I mean that in a nice way!). It's kind of that classic Let's Pretend this Is Fun moment.

Darcie - Such The Spot said...

I guess instead of laying off teachers and stuff the city decided to cut back by recycling old holiday candy. Ew. But bravo?

H.K. said...

Okay, your city is just taking the cutbacks a little bit too far. Have they ever heard of the Dollar Tree? Or maybe they just like to recycle things and thought they were doing the earth a big favor.

roy/elisabeth dean said...

I probably shouldn't say that I got peanut butter m&m's in my easter basket, that it was a beautiful 78 degrees here in Bama, that our city Easter egg hunt had diamonds and rubies in the eggs (OK, I'm lying about that last part). But it was a great day~
Post some pictures....we need to see you "not so cute" sometime!
♥,Lilly

The Wixom Zoo said...

mmmm.....peanut butter m&m's.... (please excuse me while I wipe the drool off of my face)

Mother Goose said...

i gave up on those mass easter egg hunts years ago. Now, we have one big one at the house and when I had only 2 kids we invited friends and coordinated ahead of time what candy would be bought.

brooken'dus said...

Ya that totally sounds like our town............

The Crash Test Dummy said...

That's blasphemy to call the Easter Bunny a jerk!!!

But I hear ya, girl. I hear ya! I had the exact same Easter, but it was at a ranch and it was sunny.

Btw, the Easter Bunny isn't real. You gotta buy your own peanut butter FREAKIN' M&M's, girlfriend.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Crash you NEED to stop poking my eyes out in surprise!!! Nice and subtle next time! :) I can't believe you just crushed my dreams...i have to buy my OWN peanut butter M&M's? Did you know if you buy your own then the calories count?

They don't count if someone else buys them! :) True story!

Lilly--No use in rubbing Salt in the wound...help a sister out here!!!

Mother Goose...good plan...good plan

The rest of you...I get we are ALL trying to cut back...but old Christmas and Valentine's candy is just not GOOD to eat...and if I'm going to fall of the band wagon and eat a bunch of sugar...get me the GOOD STUFF.

And I can't buy it later because I only gave myself that ONE day to indulge!!!

So sad! LOL! :)

binks said...

I agree! The Easter Bunny bites the big one.
It wasn't even raining here and he hopped right past my house!!! Can you freakin' believe it? Not one egg or chocolate bunny for me!!!
And forget about PB M&Ms, I can't not eat the WHOLE bag in one sitting.
Just saying...

wendy said...

I would have loved to see you in your sugar coma on the love sac. Where's THAT photo when you want it. Easter was kinda crappy this year, none of the kids came over as they were all with the "other" side of the family this year.

Loralee and the gang... said...

I guess the city chose where to cut the budget, did they?
:~D

Merrianne said...

ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Shelle! you are hilarious! i mean it!

and i love PB M&M's for the Protein, too :p

and guess what??? the Easter Bunny was a JERK at my house, too.. i got nuthin. no chocolate bunny. no PB M&Ms. no nuthin.

ok.. so when are you and i gonna go to the land of holidays and find the Easter Land and kick some Bunny tail?

Daiquiri said...

My little guy got his grubby little fingers on two eggs. Upon putting the second one in his basket, he realized that "hey, there's something IN there". He took several minutes to pry it open, and then shoved 5 jellybeans into his mouth. Chew. Chew. Yuck. Spit them out in a gooey mess...right into the bottom of his little basket. Decided then that maybe it would be better to eat the...grass.

We grow 'em smart round these them parts.

Homer and Queen said...

No sugar in 5 1/2 yrs! Oh yeah! I do NOT feel sorry for you! I have been a jerk for that long...(at least that long!)

Aleisha said...

You are hilarious! I love reading your posts!

American in Norway said...

Funny... I mean, NOT funny... Ok just a little funny. I wonder whos idea it was to use all of the left over Christmas candy...LOL

Here you Go SciFi Dad

Blog Archive-For SciFi Dad