Monday, September 1, 2008

I hate it when I have a meltdown...but first you need the beginning...

***UPDATE: Giveaway officially over...Check in either later today or tomorrow morning for the winner! I love to give...it's what I do...although I would've preferred more than 29 comments...but we deal with what we are given right? lol! ***

That's right...you read it right! I had a full fledged...untamed...meltdown. And it wasn't pretty!

It's time to get real. Okay I am always real...and sometimes and little too honest, if that's possible...but I'm going to go where previously I dared not to. I'm going to talk about my relationship with my in-laws (cue music: DUN...DUUUUNNN...)

I went camping with my husband's side of the family...but to understand, we have to start at the beginning...and I have to keep it somewhat short because I'll lose most of you at paragraph 3...so...

When I met my husband, of course, I fell totally and completely, and somewhat obsessively, in love with him...or lust, whatever you want to call that first real connection...a spark, strong and completely bonding!

Our initial getting-to-know you sessions were done in the company of friends. We "hung" out with the same people and eventually stayed up talking late at night and found out things about each other that we wouldn't normally find out...I call it the drowsy-but-sober-but-sleepy-and-insanely-honest-chats...I don't know what it is between 3 and 4 in the morning, but it's like I take some sort of honest pill and want to spill my guts out to whomever is close and willing to listen--which is why I tried to get to sleep earlier than that.

But when it came to Mountain Sport Man---there wasn't enough hours in the day to be with him...so any opportunity to spend chatting...I was there and available!

Then he moved...3 and 1/2 hours away (or 4) depending on your driving skills and your necessity for speed! We kept up the relationship, but he did most of the work. Being how I was in college and had little or no money...he was always traveling down to see me. (Let's be honest...isn't that how it should be anyway?)

I first met his family that lived closest to me...I fell in love with them immediately...totally easy going...and extremely willing to accept me in as someone that would stick around for a while, I couldn't wait to meet the rest of the crew.

Here's where my honesty comes in!

Those first few meetings of the rest of MSM's family was terrifying! He has 6 other brother's and sister's besides himself...and they are intimidating...I NEEDED for them to like me, to accept me, because I wanted so much to be a constant part of my husband's life, or soon-to-be husband's life...don't get me wrong, I wasn't planning our wedding, or even thinking along those lines when I met his other siblings and his parents...but I knew that I had never felt the way I felt about him with any other guy in my life...and I didn't want to lose his friendship or companionship because his family didn't like me...

...because, the way I was raised...my family is CLOSE...so close, that if they didn't like someone I was dating...that was it, it was the deal breaker...because I WAS going to marry someone that THEY got along with! I just figured all families were the same...

yea, well...I found out soon enough that, that isn't always the case...

His younger sister went to my ward...and I thought MSM was actually dating her because they were always hanging around each other...when I found out she was the sister I tried to find a way to become her friend. She scared me...she was a "sporty" chic...and I just wasn't. I have played sports and I suffered through them on dates...held my own...but I wasn't what you called "sporty". She was tough, independent, and somewhat protective of her older brother--even though she probably would never admit to it...I don't think she particularly cared for me at first...and I didn't think there was too much common ground for us to start a foundation for a strong relationship. His OLDER sister was much the same...totally intimidating and I was terrified of her. His brothers are the in-your-face types and I never felt quite comfortable with them...

...but I trudged on because I couldn't give MSM up...even if I was SCARED of his family. I married him...which in turn means I married his family.

To be continued...

but in the meantime...do you think when you are young it is common to try to fill a role because you NEED to feel accepted...whether by your in-laws, co-workers, or new friends...but as you mature and grow into yourself you realize how ridiculous that is and how unfulfilling or is that just me?

Okay...enjoy some pics from camp...I'll continue to the climax and reason for melt-down in my next post...which very likely could be later today!

There was dirt...
Fun...


more dirt...Okay that's just plain wrong...

But definitely fun...lots of laughing...

Don't worry though...they clean up nicely...



Shelle

P.S. I know I lost most of you...but thanks for listening or not! :)
P.S.S. You still have time to enter the GIVEAWAY...so go here!

18 comments:

Shannon said...

Ok, the 4th pic is hilarious!!! It reminds me of those Orbit gum commercials! LOL!


And I think its very common for people to try and be something they aren't, just to please someone else or to try and "fit in".

mrsb said...

First off, great pics! Not just adorable kids, but the pictures themselves are just amazing!

Secondly, maybe it's just the stubborn in me, but I don't think I've ever tried to be something I'm not for anyone. Or maybe that in itself if filling a role? LOL - maybe I was just filling the "rebel" position in my family!

Stacy said...

Wow, great pics - those are some dirty kids - haha and I love how you washed em up all in the bucket at once. :) I do feel the same way about needing to feel accepted. It used to be so important to me - but is becoming less so as I get older and realize that I like who I am and I don't care if no one else does...thats their problem. :) There isn't enough time in life to worry about those petty things...we got enough to worry about the way it is.

Candid Carrie said...

1. I am often more honest "on line" than I am In The Real World. I feel more confident when I am hiding behind my keyboard, it is my Dell Shield and it protects me from humans because with this thing I have the power to delete someone from my life or block their powerful rays from penetrating my blog. In The Real World I am chicken shit.

2. Do you have all three kids stuffed into a one gallon pail? They must be really tiny, do they wear Cabbage Patch doll clothes?

Alyson said...

I totally get it! I have in-law issues too. Thankfully, I live over 2000 miles from them! :-) I did try to be something I wasn't in order to get in good with my MIL, but now I could care less what she thinks of me.

Beautiful pictures!

Amanda said...

I am laughing that you are splitting up your stories to keep people reading. You are hilarious.

Oh man... you take the best pictures. I hope you don't get tired of me saying that. Do you just click and click all day? Like that laughing one. I adore it!

Darcie said...

Those photos are seriously, absolutely priceless. I wish I had photos like that of my kids. Very cute. Very very.

Okay, and now I want to hear all about the meltdown. I can totally relate, btw.

This Mom said...

OH you didn't loose me sister. I can totally relate. My Hubby is the oldest of... wait for it...NINE. I remember being 18 and meeting them for the first time over a Christmas holiday. I had the same pressure if they didn't like me I would be gone.

I cannot wait to see the rest of the story.

I love the Bucket o' Kids.

DeGraffenried's said...

Love the pics especially the dirty red head and the bucket bath!

In-laws I can live with or without them. They either like me or they don't!

Jessica said...

I can totally relate to you, and can COMPLETELY understand! Can't wait to hear the rest of your story :)

Kritta22 said...

I totally understand you chica! Remember when I had to buy a dress to more confident about the family reunion. I have been married 3.5 years and still hadn't met half of my hubby's family. (He's the youngest boy and 7th out of 8.)
I think it's harder to have the older siblings. I was okay with Chris' siblings around our age but once they past the "Married for 5 years" mark, they were really intimidating.
I'm sorry you had a meltdown. Share with us. We'll listen!
PS You got 29 comments! I think you are a rockstar. I have 4 frequent flyers to my page! :)
PS Your kids are too cute!

Untypically Jia said...

Hey Shelle! I don't have your email chica! Can you email me at UntypicallyJia@gmail.com ?

I have something I want to ask you.

binks said...

So, you're complaining about 29 comments? For one post? Really?
Just go look at my sorry a** comments. LOL

Seriously, get back to the story before we have to hunt you down!
... and no more cutsie pictures to totally distract us.

Was that too harsh?
Did I totally blow my chance for fame and fortune?

As for the in-laws: my baby daddy's family, they totally adore me. My current husband, not so much. Oh well, there is adoration somewhere in the mix.

binks said...

(drumming fingers on laptop)
Still waiting......

abritdifferent said...

Look lass, you didn't lose me, I didn't skim, skip or scan. I read the lot. I applaud you for writing about your initial relationship with your husband and your in-laws. Most of us don't have the she-nuts to do that, regardless of the type of our relationship with them.

I'm definitely staying tuned. Great pics btw, they're great to look at.

MomMega said...

Oy! Don't even get me started on my in-laws! Well, just my MIL...but I digress! I used to be that way, try to fill a certain role just to fit in, but in my mid-20's I realized it was too exhausting and I wasn't having any fun. I've become a much calmer, nicer person since giving that up.

Okay, those pictures are AWESOME!! I was totally cracking up at all the dirty kidlets! But those pics in the bucket are absolutely priceless.

American in Norway said...

Ok...off to read about the melt down...but had to stop & say... I L O V E you pictures... you are so good! I need tips...

MERRIANNE said...

Love the Cute Campy Pictures :)

and i know you were kidding...i can see from your blog that you are a BIT sarcastic....

and you are on my blog list :) it is not under the name SHELLE it is under the name BlokThoughts n More.

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