I hate it when I have a meltdown...but first you need the beginning...

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That's right...you read it right! I had a full fledged...untamed...meltdown. And it wasn't pretty!

It's time to get real. Okay I am always real...and sometimes and little too honest, if that's possible...but I'm going to go where previously I dared not to. I'm going to talk about my relationship with my in-laws (cue music: DUN...DUUUUNNN...)

I went camping with my husband's side of the family...but to understand, we have to start at the beginning...and I have to keep it somewhat short because I'll lose most of you at paragraph 3...so...

When I met my husband, of course, I fell totally and completely, and somewhat obsessively, in love with him...or lust, whatever you want to call that first real connection...a spark, strong and completely bonding!

Our initial getting-to-know you sessions were done in the company of friends. We "hung" out with the same people and eventually stayed up talking late at night and found out things about each other that we wouldn't normally find out...I call it the drowsy-but-sober-but-sleepy-and-insanely-honest-chats...I don't know what it is between 3 and 4 in the morning, but it's like I take some sort of honest pill and want to spill my guts out to whomever is close and willing to listen--which is why I tried to get to sleep earlier than that.

But when it came to Mountain Sport Man---there wasn't enough hours in the day to be with him...so any opportunity to spend chatting...I was there and available!

Then he moved...3 and 1/2 hours away (or 4) depending on your driving skills and your necessity for speed! We kept up the relationship, but he did most of the work. Being how I was in college and had little or no money...he was always traveling down to see me. (Let's be honest...isn't that how it should be anyway?)

I first met his family that lived closest to me...I fell in love with them immediately...totally easy going...and extremely willing to accept me in as someone that would stick around for a while, I couldn't wait to meet the rest of the crew.

Here's where my honesty comes in!

Those first few meetings of the rest of MSM's family was terrifying! He has 6 other brother's and sister's besides himself...and they are intimidating...I NEEDED for them to like me, to accept me, because I wanted so much to be a constant part of my husband's life, or soon-to-be husband's life...don't get me wrong, I wasn't planning our wedding, or even thinking along those lines when I met his other siblings and his parents...but I knew that I had never felt the way I felt about him with any other guy in my life...and I didn't want to lose his friendship or companionship because his family didn't like me...

...because, the way I was raised...my family is CLOSE...so close, that if they didn't like someone I was dating...that was it, it was the deal breaker...because I WAS going to marry someone that THEY got along with! I just figured all families were the same...

yea, well...I found out soon enough that, that isn't always the case...

His younger sister went to my ward...and I thought MSM was actually dating her because they were always hanging around each other...when I found out she was the sister I tried to find a way to become her friend. She scared me...she was a "sporty" chic...and I just wasn't. I have played sports and I suffered through them on dates...held my own...but I wasn't what you called "sporty". She was tough, independent, and somewhat protective of her older brother--even though she probably would never admit to it...I don't think she particularly cared for me at first...and I didn't think there was too much common ground for us to start a foundation for a strong relationship. His OLDER sister was much the same...totally intimidating and I was terrified of her. His brothers are the in-your-face types and I never felt quite comfortable with them...

...but I trudged on because I couldn't give MSM up...even if I was SCARED of his family. I married him...which in turn means I married his family.

To be continued...

but in the meantime...do you think when you are young it is common to try to fill a role because you NEED to feel accepted...whether by your in-laws, co-workers, or new friends...but as you mature and grow into yourself you realize how ridiculous that is and how unfulfilling or is that just me?

Okay...enjoy some pics from camp...I'll continue to the climax and reason for melt-down in my next post...which very likely could be later today!

There was dirt...
Fun...


more dirt...Okay that's just plain wrong...

But definitely fun...lots of laughing...

Don't worry though...they clean up nicely...



Shelle

P.S. I know I lost most of you...but thanks for listening or not! :)
P.S.S. You still have time to enter the GIVEAWAY...so go here!