Thursday, September 18, 2008

"Changing my Lifestyle"=Going off chocolate...will I survive? Part one!

I wrote a post over here...check it out if you like to read about people getting hit by a ball...

And I still need ideas on what to do about my sister and our "war"...read this if you are behind...or it's actually the post right beneath this one...so not too hard! :) Not get to thinking!



This image taken from this delectable website: The cookie Jar and Company



I have to tell you something…you know, get it off my chest. It's a LONG story…so I am breaking it up in two parts…

here is part one...

Why is it whenever one goes on a diet, or "changes one's lifestyle", my ones CRAVINGS comes out of the wood work? And then all sorts of crazy things start happening.

For example, and I may or may not know or be this person, let's just say I have started eating better, or tried to have a desire to eat better…and when I say this I mean take CHOCOLATE out of my diet! I know…don't keel over…it's an atrocity, I know, women's right to eat chocolate and all that--don't worry I haven't joined a cult or anything…yet.

So 'this person' keeps craving brownies! BROWNIES! This person hasn't had a brownie since this post…in which the person tasted a brownie that was designed and thought of from the greatest angels in heaven….hmmmm…WOW, just thinking about them I can taste the perfect minty chocolate aftertaste….

Oh…

Wait…

What was I saying? Oh yes, Chocolate…

So I have to tell you what happened to this 'said' person…

oh who am I kidding, you all know it is me!

So I wake up the other day and start my day like any other day. I slowly but surely pull myself out of bed, or get poked and prodded and mauled until I am forced out of bed, at 3:30 in the morning. It's time for work!

I, of course, immediately run into the bathroom to go pee…because that is what one does after they have children, they pee ALL THE TIME and it's annoying and a total waste of time!

I make a mad dash to the bathroom so that I don't pee my pants…and NO LIE, while I am peeing I can smell BROWNIE. My mouth instantly starts watering…I can almost taste it…

'This is RIDICULOUS' I thought to myself…'Shelle you are totally losing it!' Which I had, because NO ONE had made brownies. My chocolate deprived body was going into relapse or something, it was wanting to prove to me that my MIND was definitely not stronger than the needs of my starved-chocolate-veins!

So I get done with my business in the bathroom and walk upstairs to the kitchen…just to SEE if somehow someone had gotten up at an asinine hour of the morning to cook brownies. It could happen right?

Wrong.

I hung my head in defeat…

I slowly started to descend the stairs back to my room to get ready for work. I was mumbling to myself…'Brownies, who smells brownies while they are peeing and then rushes up to the kitchen to see these self-prophesied brownies, that don't even exist, and now I can't even smell, are miraculously there... stupid, stupid, Shelle…I mean REALLY!' all of this with my head down, not paying attention.

When all of a sudden I run into a brick wall…not literally, but figuratively, because when I looked up there was MountainSport Man holding a plate of brownies with the light of the moon slashing across him to show him with a pasted Stepford Wives grin on his face and an evil swirl to his eyes.

To be continued to part two later this afternoon...come back, you'll never believe what happened!

Shelle

10 comments:

The Wixom Zoo said...

Okay, so we make these brownies every year at Christmas time. We have to limit ourselves or else there could be serious trouble! I'd be happy to give you the recipe, if you'd like. Can't wait to hear the rest of your story - we chocolate lovers have to stick together! :)

Giggle! said...

OMG I HEART YOU!!!

You are sooooo going on my blog roll!!

Can I just say that I too am OBSESSED with choccy??!!!

That first picture... I just about licked the screen!

I've failed many times trying to give up my choccy!!!

In the end I decided I'd cut out all the rest of my food and ONLY eat chocolate!

I didn't lose any weight though ffs!

But good luck to you! you'll FREAKING NEED IT! :-D xx

DeGraffenried's said...

I love chocolate too! Dark is the best though. I could never go off of it - Just so you know I just made two pans of zucchinie (spelled wrong) brownies! Somewhat healthy right?

sue q said...

I, too, once thought it was impossible, but when there's a great incentive, and someone to do this with you, you can do it! Believe me, I know what I'm talking about! I haven't had chocolate for NINE MONTHS!!

A friend of mine was joking with me last Christmas time that we couldn't go without chocolate for a day. We dared each other, went ahead and did it, then upped the stakes. For every month we went without chocolate, we'd put $5 in the pot. The first person to crack loses, and the other person wins the loot.

Thirteen women jumped on that bandwagon for a month. Then we were down to eight, then five, and now, we're down to the final three. If none of us 'wins', we're taking the money and using it to go to Women's Conference next year!

Aleisha said...

Oh that Brownie sure looks good. mmmmmmmmmm.

MERRIANNE said...

i know the feeling SHelle :)

...gosh....i really know the feeling.....

it makes me want to CRY!!!

Barbaloot said...

Dying to know what happened! And also---why in the world are you getting up at 3:30 in the morning!?

And if you're gonna keep up this no chocolate thing...maybe I'll try and join you. I need something stronger than my self-control:0

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

Barbaloot asked the same question I had...3:30 in the morning! What on earth?
And I feel your pain...it's not fair!
I love your blog. I added you to my google reader! I'll be back!
Thanks so much for the cool comment! It's nice to have new readers and commenters!

binks said...

Ok, I totally left you a GREAT idea that will drive your sister to drink. You must do it. CHECK YOUR EMAIL! I will help, if necessary. You can just ship me all your chocolate for payment. (Hey, you said you were giving it up!)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Barbaloot and CJ PURPLE: I get up that early so that I can get home and hang out with my kids...and by that I mean blog!

Binks: Your idea was FABULOUS and I'm definitely going to try it! I'll go ahead and send the chocolate ahead! lol!

Here you Go SciFi Dad

Blog Archive-For SciFi Dad