Dear Gum Smacking Lady at Spin Class

Dear Gum Smacking Lady at Spin Class:

Hi...

I don't know you. I don't...not at all, in fact, the very first time I laid eyes on you was last Tuesday at Spin Class.

I usually don't know anybody I write these blog letters to, which is why I write them...

Anyway...

I have a few things I need to enlighten you with. First things first. Please, please, please don't chew gum while you're exercising, not only could you CHOKE AND DIE (growing up dancing...I saw plenty of choking-near-death-experiences), but it is EXTREMELY annoying. Really! I know your friend next to you doesn't seem to mind, but she is being nice.

I was the girl...heaving, red cheeks, and sweating profusely, with the black shirt and shorts to cover my excessive "soft" fat places that seem to bulge over when I sit...and in spin class...you sit, I was two bikes down from you.

Hi...that was me.

But even over the instructor yelling in the mike, "It's ONLY a minute, you can do ANYTHING for a minute" (yea, right...like my heart stopping), the music, and my heavy breathing/panting, was YOU chomping and chomping and chomping away. It's enough to drive a crazy person...CRAZY!

I kept looking over at you...giving you the evil eye...trying to get you to notice your loud-obnoxious-gum-smacking-chomping-chewing-of-the-mouth technique...but to no avail. You were in your zone...and I was left listening to you chomp away. It was like nails scratching on a chalk board!

But...

A small part of me also wants to thank you.

I was concentrating SO hard on trying to get you to STOP chomping your gum...or at least trying to IGNORE you chomping your gum...that I didn't even notice my chest burning...and I ALWAYS notice my chest burning, because it hurts, and I dread it everytime.

My doctor tells me that I am pushing to hard if my chest burns...but I do it anyway, because like the instructor says, "You can do ANYTHING for a mintute"...which I can, I really can...it's just combining those minutes to make 50 minutes...that is when it gets me...

But thanks to you...didn't even notice last Tuesday...all I remember is...SMACK...CHOMP...CHEW...POP...SMACK...CHOMP...CHEW...POP. In fact...I felt my legs moving to the rhythm of your smacking...totally annoying!

So now writing this letter I'm torn. You were annoying/irritating, but it helped distract me...hmmm...either way, I guess I don't want you to choke and worse case scenario, die. So for the sake of interrupting class with a choking episode...leave the gum at home.

Love,

Shelle

Do you chew gum while you exercise?