Thursday, September 4, 2008

Letter to creepy guy that winked at me on his motorcycle...

Dear Creepy Guy Who Winked and at Me and Gave Me the Silent Kiss on Your Motorcycle:

It's not just that you looked like Dwight from THE OFFICE (I know second time I've mentioned that show in two posts), nor is it the fact that your Motorcycle looked like you stole it from the 60's and the rust was painted on...but it's that you WINKED and Silent Kissed at me?

There I was, waiting to turn right into the flow of traffic, minding my business, in my white Nissan Van pimpin' style...when I see you turning left coming towards me. Then you stare...and I'm like what?

Then you mouth something, I'm not a lip reader so I didn't pick it up, and then you gave me the wink and the silent kiss? **shudder**

I sat there dumbfounded...frozen in place while my opportunity to turn right passes by me. A horn honks and brings me back to the real world. I again look left and when an opening comes to turn right into the flow of traffic I take it.

I pulled out my phone and raced to catch up with you...there is NO way the dedicated readers of my humble and personal blog would do your nerdiness on a motorcycle look justice in their minds...I wanted a picture...I NEEDED proof. I failed.

You were too fast for me...your old rustic looking motorcycle, I'm assuming on its last days, out paced my too-hot-for-pimpin' van because I froze under pressure.

It was like high school all over again...where only the guys I didn't want after me...gave me the time of day. How many times have I fantasized about a hot guy off of a Abercrombie and Fitch Ad-ride up on his hot Harley Motorcycle and look over, see me, and give me that sexy wink with the seductive kiss because he just couldn't help himself...(really not many...but if I did...that is exactly how it would go)...but you pushed me back into time with that wink and silent kiss...you reminded me of my pure luck to draw in the Dwight-type guys...the ones that I LOVED to talk to, but didn't want to kiss...

"Don't feel bad...everyone has different taste...there is someone out there for you...it's ME not YOU!"

My advice to you would be:

*-Don't go winkin' and silent kissin' at ANY type of van because more than likely they are married and won't be interested anyway.
*Don't wink or silent kiss at all...it's creepy...have someone video you doing it, you'll understand.
*Buy a helmet (full faced), buy some leathers...and play the part...do it for your victims--unsuspecting ladies such as myself. Don't cause others to have to go through what I did...you might cause an accident...and not in a good way.
*If you are going to be so bold as to wink and silent kiss at anyone you pass by to throw them off kilter--have the guts to slow down so they can catch up with you and take your picture to show their fellow bloggy friends! Cause they won't believe me...

You understand how that might be a problem right?

Sincerely,

Shelle

P.S. If you could leave a comment and let everyone know that what I am saying right now is true...that would be awfully nice of you...maybe include a picture of yourself on your motorcycle and a link to it?

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH....I so wish I had been able to get a picture. Really!

One last thing...and I'm out...I'm not going to announce who I'm voting for, I am not one to argue politics...I did however watch the Republican Convention tonight and I'm just going to throw this out there...DANG...PALIN knows how to give a speech!

and...buh bye!
********************************************************************
Oh wait...I got some more awards...seriously, when you beg--Things start to happen :) But better than actually receiving the awards is giving them out! WHOOOHOO!

Here we go:
Untypically Jia gave me this and I want to hug her so tight...because I LOVE that she has this badge that says "ROCK ON" because I use to say that all the time in my high school coolio days!

So deserving of this award--and rules are you have to give it to Three other WOMEN you think ROCK! Then you have to let them know you gave them the award (which I'm not very good at BTW) Easy enough right? Wrong...because I have to narrow it down...and I really hate doing that...yet I love having the power to do it! It's like I'm pulling apart two parts of my soul! anyhow...
1. He Played Seven : First because she let me take pictures of her BEAUTIFUL five children...AND she claims she likes them...which makes us now eternally bonded! Plus I LOVE the way she writes and laughs at life...like myself!
2. Brooke: Because I LOVE talking to her...I actually KNOW her and see her in the outside world...and she won one of my Giveaways which was the TWILIGHT one...and she is going to read it for me (actually for her but I like to assume I am her good influence!)
3. Shannon from my HOOD (you know who you are):
She is one strong woman...I look up to her...and I laugh almost every time I read one of her posts! Plus she is a friend from way back...she gets me!

Then Merrianne gave me this award:


There is no rules to this award--so I am awarding it to: Marie She has just fallen into peer pressure and is going to read TWILIGHT--love ya Marie, Kritta22, BINKS, ABRITDIFFERENT, Untypically Jia, Fam Five, Mrs. B, and American in Norway--because I heart you guys...I read you and you make me think or laugh...plus you are new friends that I feel like I've known forever!

NO PRESSURE...sending these on-but if you know someone that deserves a cool blog award button! JUST DO IT!

30 comments:

Mindy said...

So, your unword of the day just gave me a big laugh! When we took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese there was this clown ride--it totally FREAKED Ethan out and Kate is already afraid of clowns so she wouldn't even approach it. Does it make me a bad mom to think it is hilarious to see my kids SCREAMING when they look at a clown?? Thanks for triggering a funny memory, I had forgotten about the clown ;)

binks said...

Creepy......
Boy,I have had that same problem my whole life. Waiting for the cute boy to ask me to couple skate and it was always some dork. But you are much cuter than me, so that Abercrombie model may just wink you up some day soon.
Hey wait, I know an Ambercrombie model, I can sooo hook you up. ;)

MERRIANNE said...

ha ha! you are so funny & cute!

PALIN sure does know how to give a good speech!

Shelle said...

Mindy--ever since seeing "IT" by Stephen King...I can't really look at a clown either. So I would have been with your kids running around and screaming my head off! But no...it's okay to find pleasure in your kids' terror... We laugh all the time when MountainSport Man scares the kids half to death!

Binks--Hello? Hook a sister up! We can re-inact my fantasy (or just barely made up on the whim fantasy) with the motorcycle and whole bit...Just so I can say it happened! Who am I kidding...He probably looks like Dwight too, but they just photoshop those models really well...huh? I doubt I'm cuter than you...Cute is relative and subjective...I deem YOU cuter than ME...because I can!

Merrianne--You are not kidding...I was enthralled by her speech...she delivered it so well! I'm excited to see how she debates!

Marie said...

So I was totally sitting right next to you in the pimp-mobile (in spirit) when that happened. I shuddered too. Had a little glazed look happen and then was furious that you didn't get that picture. But you tried. And he was very Dwight-ish, for sure.

LIFE CHANGES said...

You are in so much trouble for posting that. All I have to say is payback is a B!&#%!!!!

Natalie said...

Ha ha! That's hot.

btw, I have a pic on my most recent post of a strong woman and I realized she totally looks like you!...go see.

Untypically Jia said...

Sure, sure. My award has nothing to do with the fact that I gave you an award . . . LMAO!!! Kidding and thanks! You rock sistah-friend!

Oh and my husband is one of those creepy guys that winks and makes kisses towards people. Only it's usually him in the tiny white car, and the recipient is usually a big guy on a motorcycle. LOL! It annoys me to death but he thinks it's really funny.

brooken'dus said...

Ok every comment I ever leave you always starts with hahaha but this time that's all I could really do!!! hahaha I love that guy for winking and blowing you a kiss!! Oh if I could have only been there!!! hahaha. My dream is same as yours to get the model but in HS I always got the little boys, you know, all the little neighbor boys that were like your so fine, or he likes you, and your like um ok I'm 8 years older than you, thanks though!!!

brooken'dus said...

P.S. thanks for the award!!

mrsb said...

Awwww! Thanks! You rock my socks!

Kritta22 said...

Thanks for the award!! I heart you too!
I really want you to go stalk this motor guy. I wanna see! we could set him up with my mom!! :)

mrsb said...

It seems to be a 2 award kind of day! There is something on my blog for you, cause I love you right back!


And had to share - Once we were in line at the drive though to get burgers, and there was a clown in line in a car right behind us. The kids FREAKED OUT! IT was hilarious, hahaha!

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

Why is it that when you're in a van weird guys gawk at you? I'm like ... "Dude, I'm obviously married and a soccer mom, seriously?"

I had two teenage boys scream some things at me while I was in a van with one of my girlfriends and I thought ... "Boy, I could spank you. I'm old enough to be your mama. (OK, maybe not Mama, but way older sister).

Congrats on all your lovelies.

Aubrey said...

Better you than me! LOL

Ewww...got ugly goosebumps!

Natalie Sue said...

Ewww...What a creep! I could totally picture it. That would have been hilarious if you could have gotten a pic. But I would have been too shocked thinking, "Seriously? Yuck!" The creepiest thing that ever happened to me is: I had just pulled into a parking spot at the music store and was looking down at my wallet...when suddenly I realized there was this big ugly face right up against my window checking me out. He smiled and winked! Yucky creeps!

Shannon said...

A wink and a silent kiss???? Eeeuuuyyeww!!!

Congrats on the awards... I think you totally rock, sista! :)

Kritta22 said...

PS I was thinking about this and he was probably winking and kissing you cuz of your wrist tattoos!! I fact I know it was. LOL

MERRIANNE said...

you totally deserve those awards :)

Amanda said...

First of all, this letter is all a cover up because you know you loved the attention. Don't deny it! : )

Second, thank you. Getting an award is totally unexpected and fun. The goal of my blog is exactly what you said so I feel successful and flattered. Thanks again.

MomMega said...

Okay, Ewwww! That is waaay creepy! Just like a man to think that just because he is on a motorcycle women will swoon.

P.S. I tagged you for a meme on my blog. I KNOW! Sorry. Just had to do it, though...

cally said...

i'm a lurker. i came from natalie's blog out of total snoopy curiosity.

one time, a guy in a cool old orange pick-up stopped in the middle of the street and asked me through our rolled down windows if i believed in love at first sight. i didn't get it at first, then it clicked, he grossed me out, and i said "only with your truck". wha, huh? I'm a lamo under pressure.

you're blog is fun. i shall return.

Palmer Family said...

Hey Rachelle,
I changed my blog name its catchpalfamat.blogspot.com. I enjoy reading your blog it gives me something to look forward to!!

Alyson said...

That is seriously creepy. Maybe this Dwight guy has a van fetish. Hey, weirder things have been a turn-on, but I won't gross you out by mentioning any of them.

Susie said...

Wow! That is a truly disturbing experience. I think that you should seek immediate help to rid your brain of those cells carrying this memory. I shuddered while I read this.

Thanks for visiting my blog today. And no, you can't have an apple pie made from your very own apples without your very own tree. But, you can buy them at the store. It won't have the same, "I grew it out of my piece of the earth" feeling but, it will still be darn good.

Lauren said...

Love your unword of the day. Fits the description of the next post on my blog today.

brooken'dus said...

Hey how do I post the little award badge thing on my blog??

Teri said...

Eeeeeeeew. Creepy. And yes, biker dude should have at least had the decency to let you get that pic for blog immortality.

Jennifer said...

I LOVE your unword of the day!! It cracked me up!! Can you make one up for an unpleasant encounter w/ a mime? I've had many of those...

LOL at you winkin' Romeo! How I wish you had a pic--but Dwight Shrute on a rusty motorcycle is a pretty good image!!

Jessica Stier said...

Hi! I just found your bog through your comment on Pioneer Woman's photography post. You are hilarious!!! Your unword is fantastic. It's totally integrated into my vocab now! Your Dwight Schrute motorcycle encounter is great. I guess the one thing about not having a helmet law is that guys like that get to get their Silent Kiss on.

I'm heading over to your photography blog now. I'll be back!!! :)

Jessica
www.momshots.com

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