Weight

I know it's been forever and for the first time in a long time, I feel like when I first started my blog and wrote about stuff on my mind, knowing nobody was really out there to read or hear it.

But I finally have something I want to write about. My loved ones and close family and friends are sick of hearing about it and so I find myself having, again, no where else to go but the vast emptiness that can make up the World Wide Web.

I got on the scale today. Up 2 more pounds. I don't know what it is about seeing that number, but it does something to me. My inner bully starts attacking my self-worth... basing it on my weight, even though I know conscientiously that my worth is based on who I am as a person, how I treat people, especially those closest to me- and how I am behind closed doors when nobody is there to watch or judge. I know it shouldn't be based off of a number a scale spews forth whenever I step on it.

So I find myself, again, telling myself this is the day I eat better. See my problem has never been, really, the exercise part. Although there has been times I have been more lacking in that area--it's always something I have tried to continue to do. This last year I have been consistent in going to CrossFit--a very intense way to work out. Barring these last few summer months... I went everyday during the week and sometimes on Saturday's. I know I got stronger, I know I lost inches, yet that scale wavered maybe one or two pounds at the most. Summer months were busy, with work, and photography, and traveling, lots and lots of traveling, I got an infection that I had to stop working out for a bit and just recently have done something to my shoulder (Not work out related). So I've still gone and worked out... but only like 3 times a week. So I KNOW my eating is what is my problem.

So I told myself today after I stepped off the scale that I am marking this day as the Day one of Finding Healthy Shelle. The infamous lifestyle change that I know is just out of my reach. I have this new resolve, yet in the back of my mind I see defeat. "Shelle you've said that before" or "I won't hold my breath". I KNOW that in order to change my body, I need to be really strict for a while and as I get to where I want to LOOK not necessarily weigh... then I can lessen up on the strict a meal or two here and there. But I am my own worst obstacle. How do I change this? What can I do mentally to make THIS time the time it works?

I know it can. I know with eating better and the exercise are an equation that just works. At my CrossFit box it has worked repeatedly. Do these people just have more control? Do I have a serious food addiction? Am I weaker? How did they do it and I seem to struggle so much?

All things I think about constantly. I don't want to be a dreamer... I want it to happen, I want it to work, I want to NOT make it such a big deal anymore.

I don't know where I was going with this. Probably no where. I just spewed forth anything that was on my mind, which is constantly on my mind, day in and day out.

Better stop now though. If there is anyone out there still getting my feeds. I hope you are doing well. I miss blogging, I really wish I had more time to do it everyday.

Totally blogging on my phone right now.

Just wanted you guys to know about this new series I'm startin on Real World Venus vs. Mars called Captured in a Relationship!

Go read about it!

Combines my love of photography with my love of learning about relationships!

Come on over!

Love,

Is it abnormal that I pay attention to that?

I've been gone.

I know.

It's been an absolute crazy, however long I've been gone, time.

I have posts to write. Things have happened. One of the biggests things is my Brother-in-Law passed away. The one with Lou Gehrigs Disease. I loved him, my husband loved his brother, everyone that knew him loves and misses him, especially his wife and children. He was the epitome of a family man. I have a post to write. And pictures to share.

Speaking of pictures, I've been super busy getting my new website up, which makes me sort of an official photographer because the website is kickin. I haven't quite got it all finished... but it's there. And I have a blog that I will be updating tons and tons with pictures and with just things about my life. I'm not sure if I'm going to just convert to that blog... or make this my thoughts blog and that my picture--heres-my-life blog. It's all up in the air. Right now it's just posts of sessions I've done and how I've felt about them. I'm kinda all excited.

All of this just means I've been working... ALOT. And it's bitter sweet. Because I need this blog as a release, yet sometimes, this blog creates pressure--if you blog, ya know what I'm talking about. So I've kinda made this a not so high priority anymore. But I still read on my reader and keep up to date with ya'll.

I did, however, want my first post back to tell you of a small experience. It's in the bathroom, at work, AGAIN.

I've told you time and time again, that I think going to the bathroom is a colossal waste of time. I hate it. It's boring.

So I hold it until the last possible minute. Well when you are trying to eat Healthy... which is not a consistent thing for me yet, but I work on it everyday of my FREAKING life, you tend to drink more water. The more water you drink, the less bloated you feel (true story), which is an AWESOME feeling... less bloated... so I was on my gotta-drink-80 oz-of-water kick and as you can imagine, when it was time to finally get up and pee, it was TIME. Well I rushed to the bathroom. Jump around getting things unzipped and pulled down. Then I start to pee. And pee. And pee. Then someone walks into the bathroom, gets in their stall, unzips and pulls down and starts peeing also.

I'm still peeing.

They finish.

I'm still peeing.

After they zip and pull everything up, open the stall door, wash their hands, and leave the bathroom.

I FINALLY finish peeing.

It HAD to be a guiness book of world records sort of record!

So question is: Is it abnormal that I even paid attention to that?

Love ya guys,

Thousands of feet in the air

So I'm sitting here thousands of feet in the air, heading to Baltimore with my family, with another womans head lying on my husbands shoulder.  True story.  I look over and my husbands eyes are the size of saucers as he points, with his eyes, down and to the right side showing me that the woman sitting in the middle next to him is using his shoulder as a pillow.  I started laughing, especially when her mouth fell open!

But that isn't what I wanted to talk about.  I wanted to tell you how it frustrates me to no end that when the cabin door closes on the aircraft and the stewardess asks everyone to turn off their electronic devices, that you always have that one doofus who either doesn't get that it means THEIR electronic devices also or they think they are above it.

Right now I am sitting behind first class, yes right behind, the seats that start the coach class... That's us.

You know that part in Titanic where the kid asks his mom while the panic that the ship is going down swirls around, asks, "Mom, when will it be our turn?" and the mom pats his head and says, "once they load the first class then it will be our turn"--- yea that's is basically what I had to tell my son when be asked, "Mom, when do we get to eat?" while we were watching first class get served their meal, I said, "when they are done serving first class then it will be our turn, the commoners".  (hehehe, lol, I'm so funny-- that was totally off the subject)

Anyway, that is where we are sitting. There is the doofus about 3 rows ahead of me in first class.  See I waited until electronics were approved but then I needed to vent that doofus head was asked to turn off his iPod because he hadn't after they had made the announcement, and not seconds after the stewardess sat down he pulled out the iPad and turned it on!? WTHelk?  Earth to doofus, if the iPod isn't allowed you can probably assume the iPad isn't either!!!

So being the female that I am... I just sit there and fume, mumbling under the breath in my head that the guy was an "a" class idiot!

Sigh.

After all that raging inside, the next thing doofus does is turn Tangled on to watch on his iPad, my new favorite Disney movie... So now I can't be mad at him... I just realize he is a soft hearted, actual clueless, doofus... And that isn't so bad.

Hope all is well out in blogland.  Miss you guys.  This working extra hours is kickin my butt! But it allowed us this vacay... And life is all about memories we create right? Right.

Until I write again!  And I am still reading you on my reader!!! Thanks for keeping me entertained!

What did you learn today?

Image taken from here.

At dinner yesterday, after watching 4 hours of LDS General Conference with my kids, I asked them, "So what did you learn today watching General Conference?"

I thought they would think back to the game we play while we watch to promote listening. We tag a word to a bowl (we had six in all, one for each person there) of treats and when that word is said, we pass the bowl of treats around and can pick one treat until the word is said again. The kids actually listen for the word... you can imagine how fun it was when there was that talk about tithing and one of our words was tithing... we ate the whole bowl in one talk because the word was said so much! That is what my son said he learned... about tithing and why we do it and what the money goes for. It helped that he got a Reese's Peanut butter mini egg every time the speaker said, "tithing". :)

My daughter, however, piped in with this, "I learned not to talk while someone is saying the prayer". That is true!

We all started laughing.

But, hey, at least she learned something. Baby steps people, baby steps.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Love,

Why I'm there and not here... or whatever

This is why I am not HERE... work work and more work... and inbetween, editing.

So I posted on my Photography blog, but have yet to have time to do much else besides work.

Love you guys!

A band wagon jumper on-er...

I can't believe this has happened to me... a complete parent FAIL!!!

My daughter is a band wagon jumper on-er!!!

It's true.

Yesterday she was wearing a Justin Bieber shirt and reading a Justin Bieber book...

This morning I walked in and found this hanging up on her push pin wall...

It's true... a Justin Bieber poster!  I may have bought the shirt and book for her with begging and pleading... but a POSTER!?

I'll understand if you judge me, I would do the same in your position...

The apple, however, hasn't fallen too far from the tree... I remember putting up a poster, or two, of New Kids On The Block when I was younger... but I had reformed and thought that I could teach my children better... apparently I failed.

Do you think I can find a support group?  Let me know, I'll wait here and wallow in my failure.

Have a good Tuesday everyone!

I got worked and other stuff...

We had the greatest time up north hanging out with cousins for my son's birthday. I loved that he would rather have a birthday party with family than one with friends... is that weird of me? I didn't make him choose that, he wanted it... ftr.

But one thing, we had his birthday at this place where there is a bunch of trampoline's. It's called Jump on It. It's a crazy fun place for kids. Only thing is, they nickle and dime you, like any thing else.

Except I hate falling for it, and fall for it I DID. We had family coming in from an hour and a half away to spend about that same amount of time with us for DCar's birthday (which we were SOOOO appreciative). I thought I could do his party cheaper if I paid per person rather than rent the party room and get their package deal. So the original plan was to go eat after we jumped at the place... ya know, like grab $5.00 pizza at Little Caesars. Only, the nearest pizza place wasn't so near and I didn't want to make those family that had come a distance, travel any more. I found out that we couldn't BRING IN outside food (of course), but that they DID have a pizza place they ordered through and we could get pizza that way--(how kind of them right? *rolls eyes*).

It was $14.00 per pizza. I ordered three. I figured at 14.00 dollars these pizza's were going to be pretty awesome and from a pretty classy place right?

Wrong, as we see the 5 BUCK PIZZA guy walk in with my three pizza's he was delivering.

Yea, so I got worked. But that was the only downer of the whole weekend... and my boy is worth it... I think ;)

I jumped right back into work and have been editing like a mad lady for my latest photo shoot... here's a preview--I've taken this girl before when she was just barely walking, I love REPEAT customers, and whom I consider friends. It's soooo good to see how these children grow up! I know, cliche, but oh so true! :)

What did you guys do this weekend? And would you have said something to the Owners of the Jump On It about the pizza... like... Where's my 9 bucks per pizza you pretty much stole from me?

See Mom Smile shows me the way... if you want to help...

I was reading in my reader and found THIS POST by See Mom Smile... who I have met in person btw... and I thought that I'd pass on her awesome message, although, you should read her post because it's better and way more informative.

But basically, I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I pay my tithing and this is where some of it goes to. I love that because I know no matter the disaster, in some way, I have been a part of helping it.

You, however, don't have to be Mormon, or LDS, or pay your tithing to donate to the LDS Charities who is a major part of ANY disaster and in a lot of the cases, first to respond with help.

Here's the LINK again. It's a charity you know your money WILL be put to helping those areas greatest hit by the Japan Disaster and any other disaster that comes along... which is inevitable.

Hope you all have a good weekend!

It's my son's 9th birthday and so I have to go party with him right now... I'll leave you with a little treat he and his sister did for St. Patty's Day yesterday...

Your. Welcome.  And YES my kids are super rad!

I got a call...

I got a call on Sunday.

We have a policy that we don't answer calls on Sunday's because it's usually someone from the ward... and you know how THOSE calls go.

Yet, I answered it. Don't ask me why because I can't tell you.

It was my Bishop.

NOT a good sign.

He asks me if I knew I had an appointment with him that was 5 minutes ago.

Me: "uhhhh no..."

Him: "hmmmm it has you scheduled on here? Can you come down to the church in the next 15 minutes?"

Me:  against my better judgement I say, "sure".

So I rush down there (a block and a half a way) and meet with the Bishop.

He wanted to extend me another calling.

Ut oh.

If any of you know me AT ALL you will immediately begin to laugh the minute you find out what I was called to.

Ready?

YOUNG WOMEN'S GIRL'S CAMP.....







WAIT FOR IT...








DIRECTOR!!!

BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! HEHEHEHEHE!!! LOL LOL LOL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I asked him if he was kidding. He said he wasn't.

Now we have a choice whether we want to accept the callings or not. But as I told my newest online BFF textpal, who I like to refer to as the other half of my soul, we will call her Doppleganger or DG for short because I will probably refer to her more often (and YES she is a real person-except she isn't evil which usually dopplegangers are, but she is my look- alike in personality-and so I'm going with it, she's actually a lot prettier than me, but we won't talk about it) we don't have to accept the calling, we can turn it down, but I figure if I'm getting called there is a reason.

And I think that reason is God is playing a joke on me, because I did make a New Year's Resolution to not camp at ALL ever again for the rest of my life...

Okay I didn't make that resolution... but I should have!

I avoid camping. I'll go and be so fun, but I don't love it.

I went to 2 years of Young Women Girl's Camp and I think only certified one year!

Now I am in charge of the girls in my ward to take them camping, and on top of that... I have to make sure they are fed physically AND spiritually... oh oh oh... and try to help them have fun!?

Pray for me...

Actually, better yet, pray for the girls!


p.s. Any suggestions you have to help me... would be much appreciated because I doubt twinkles and ho ho's are acceptable food substitute's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner...

Love,

I am seriously considering it...

You guys, I am so sorry... but I found something out about myself this weekend.

You may never read me again.

But I got an email and was approached about having a love affair... and the email was so eloquent and so convincing that I'm seriously considering it.

Please don't tell my husband if you know him or his email.

But this person just has a way with words and I can't help myself, I have been thinking about it non stop since I was approached...

Here is the email-- please don't judge me-- understand that I am missing this in my life...

"Hello
my name is miss Jahira,i found your email contact today on this medium and i will like to have a love affair with you,if you are interested please contact me through my email ID (jahira.ahmed@rediffmail.com)for easy communication.thanks from Jahira.
Waiting for your reply to my email address soon."

There was no picture attached to it, but I bet she is hot, if anybody is going to turn me it's going to be a lesbian called Jahira.

I'll understand if you no longer want to read me...

Sigh.

Love,

Secret Box...

Guess what? I'm hosting the Secret Box over at the Real World Venus vs. Mars blog today! It's the first time I have tried it over there. Come over and play and show the readers of Real World how it's done. Get that nasty secret off your chest... believe me, my secrets are coming out today.

Love,

Birthday Pick Up.

Okay so I guess I should explain myself or what I meant by the last post. A lot of you hit it right on, but I didn't necessarily mean that all your children's and spouses and important people in your life's mistakes or successes define you... what I meant is the relationships you have with them define you... they become a part of you and help you to become who you are as a person. We are shaped and molded because of our experiences... the most important being those relationships with the people we love and who love us most. KWIM?

Anyway.

My husband is so freaking sweet huh? Loved his post and it WAS for my birthday. You want to know what else he did? May make you vomit it was so sweet. He did a "Great Birthday Race" (because I'm obsessed with the Amazing Race reality show-gooooo cowboys!) for me. Kind of like a scavenger hunt with clues all around town. I have it all on video and am going to try and cut it and make it viewable so you can see it all because I documented it on my flip cam.

But during that Great Amazing Birthday Race I had an experience...

I thought I'd share. LOL. It's a funny, yet complimentary, experience.



More to the story--not word for word... he came up to me in the fruit section of Walmart and asked, "How do you say this in English" as he was pointing to the Papaya's.

Me: "Um Papaya?"

Him: "Yea, that is how you say it in Spanish, but how do you say in English"?

Me: "Uhhhh..." silence for a sec, "Papaya"?

Him: "Oh! Whenever I go to the cashiers they always don't know how to say it."

Me: Smile.

Him: "I have a joke for you." and proceeds to tell me a joke involving monkeys... it's not clear right now.

Me: Laugh laugh. Start walking away.

Him: "So I see you have a Party Girl button on" pointing to the ribbon my family gave me to wear for my birthday.

Me: "Yea, It's my birthday today"

Him: "Happy Birthday! Hey it's my birthday next week! I'll be 27."

Me: "Sweet!" Smile, awkward giggle.

Him: "So you'll be what? 25?"

Me: "Oh... you're good. No, no... I'm 32"

Him: "Really?!? You don't look more than 27! At the most."

Me: "ha ha... you keep saying that."

Him: "So are you married?"

Me: "Yes." start cluing in that he wanted to ask me out. What!? I've been married for 11 years! I don't get picked up on.

Him: "Dang! I was going to ask you out!"

The rest is a blur... but I couldn't help but laugh.

And it was kinda a compliment... not going to lie.

Nothing defines me besides...

For some reason we have had a month free of STARZ on our TV programming. Amongst the waste of movies I've been watching Confessions of a Shopaholic came on. I only got to catch the end of it, but I think it says one of the truest things as far as one liners go.

It's the part at the end where she has hit rock bottom, the man she loves has dumped her, her best friend hates her, and she has been publicly humiliated on National Television for being majorly in debt. Her parents pull up to her New York apartment in their RV, something that they had saved up for and bought, something they both had wanted.

They take her to a place to sit and think and talk. Her Father comes down to the waters edge to talk with her while her mother remains in the RV. As she quietly cried her dad speaks up and says, "Your mom and I think, if the American economy can be billions in debt and still survive, so can you. - The RV's worth about 13..."

She looks at him shocked "- No. Dad."

He says, "We want to."


She responds adamantly, "I will kill you if you sell it. It completely defines you. Completely."

He looks at her and fervently states, "Nothing defines me, except you and your mother."

I just love that. I think it rings so true. We often get caught up where we believe that THINGS define us... but what really defines us, or should define us, is those people lucky enough we choose to love and they choose to love us back. Our families, our close friends who are like our families, relationships define us.

As a parent myself, my children and husband most definitely define me, and I'm so proud of that. If they are successful as humans with good character and are good people, I am successful. It's scary and sweetly awesome all wrapped up into one.

My son is evolving into this incredibly young man. He's sweet, and tough, and smart, and good and most of what he tries, and if he's not? He works at it. He plays sports and yet, wanted to be in the show choir because of a girl and his best guy friend :), and when he was four I signed him up for Hip Hop taught by a guy.


I thought to myself, I don't want him to be one of those guys in middle school and high school that keep the wall up because he's afraid to dance or look "stupid" because he doesn't know how. And it's been something he's enjoyed, so much, that he's on a competition team made up of girls and boys ranging from ages 8-12. Their first performance was last month and I'm going to say it, I was a proud Mama... plus, I really really love the song.



So to wrap this all up... I'm so glad DCar defines me.

So? Tell me what you think? Do you think it rings true? Your loved ones define you? What defines you?

Hacked by MSM and my traditional Birthday post.

Hi Shelle's friends, it's me, Mountain Sport Man, Shelle's better half.

I started a "tradition", last year, to hack into my wife's blog and give her one day where I tell her how incredible I think she is, and hot. If you know my wife at all, anything I do like that can't be done just once, no... she'll expect it now, and I still have no idea how to upload a picture and I'm not going to spend time trying, I could probably figure it out, but that would go above and beyond the call of duty.

It's the day she wants everyone to know about but tells no one, except for me, over and over and over again in different ways so I don't forget. She knows well, I'll forget otherwise, not because it's not important (believe me, I've tried to get her to understand this) but because I'm just forgetful.

But she's worth remembering and so is her birthday, which is today, in case you haven't caught onto that yet.

We were at that 80's party she wrote about just underneath this post and they played a game where you have to try and know things about your spouse that you should know or remember, I really suck at those games, but at parties I humor people. One of the questions for her was, what physical attribute do you think your husband loves most about you. As the answers came from the other wives they were either the back end (which is a thing to behold) or the two beautiful lady bumps in the front. Believe me when I say, I love those things about my wife also, but they aren't the things on her physically that I love the most. Her answer was her lips. She was close, but the thing I love most about my wife, physically, is her dimples. Then her lips. Then her eyes. Spend 10 minutes with my wife and I dare you to tell me differently. They are the final touch to the flawed masterpiece that my wife is.

Yes I said flawed.

My wife has many many flaws all of which I love and love to hate. Without them, she wouldn't be her, and I love HER.

So Shelle, having spent 13 birthdays with you since knowing you, I can say without hesitation and even though it sounds cliche, that I love you more now than when you first seduced me into making out with you (ha-she'll love that one). You're a wonderful mother, you're smart, beautiful, make others happy, and someone I'm lucky enough to call mine. My wish for you is if you could only see yourself through my eyes, then you would never doubt your importance or beauty from the inside out.

Happy Birthday Babe.

MSM

ps I think you're hooooootttt.

Shelle rockin the 80's

So thanks for the outpouring of love and concern about where I've been. Thousands and thousands of emails have come in along with Facebook and Twitter statuses wondering "Where for art thou Shelle". (sentence dripping with sarcasm)

I bet y'all are surprised that I had very few people wonder where I was during my week or so of absence... you know who you are... and your check is in the mail. I truly love you as much as anyone can for only knowing you online.

Anyway, I'm not here to complain or tell you how I have hacked up both of my lungs until I decided I was sick enough to head to the doctors where he promptly told me if I would have waited much longer he would have hospitalized me with puenomia. Instead, I just have Bronchitis and a sinus infection that we are treating aggressively. I'm good and it was all so dramatic. Yet I live.

I'm moving on... or backwards... depending upon how you look at it.

Two Saturday's ago MSM and I were invited to an 80's prom night. We freaking rocked it... I meant to take my flip cam and show you how it all turned out, but instead, I was getting SICK--so I totally forgot the flip cam... all's I have is my blackberry and the camera on it.

Here are some of our poses. This isn't the actual Prom Backdrop they had, a PROFESSIONAL photographer was taking our pics for that (yea, these peeps went all out) but we took these at another poster they had made and put up. The night was a blast--I love stuff like this.

I, however, hate 80's hair and still do... but if you are going to do something like this, my philosophy is "GO BIG OR GO HOME"-- even as I was ratting my bangs, my husband walked in and said, "Babe, ya gotta get them higher than that!?"

So without further ado... I present to you... Shelle, how I would have rocked it, in the 80's if I would have gone to a CASUAL prom, in the 80's.

I tried to make this look all old and 80's like to kinda fool ya, but my camera phone sucks... obviously.

Classic Prom pose.  You're. Welcome.

This is suppose to be the... "I am awkward and in High School and don't know how to pose for a prom picture" pose.  We were going to MORP--the more casual prom if you couldn't tell.

 It was a good night... and the last thing I did before the illness over took my life and tried to conquer it... literally.

If I'm absent in the coming days... it's because I'm trying to catch up from missing work and stuff.

If you have an 80's picture to link up to or have a bad 80's prom story... don't hesitate to share. 

We may or may not have done inappropriate things in the back seat of his car... just sayin.

Love,

I think my kids made me prettier

We moved our storage unit stuff into the garage. It saves us a hundred bucks.

I went through things we haven't needed for four years and just gave them away, made it so we could get rid of our storage--okay my husband did a lot of it, but still, it was done.

One of the things we found when we were going through the totes is an old video camera. It is one of those cameras that shot with a small tape, the kind that fit into a VHS tape and then that is how you watched what you recorded was by sticking it in the VHS player.

Anyway...we still had in the case the VHS tape holder and a bunch of tapes. We stuck one in entitled, "The birth of Peeps".

OMGOsh you guys, nostalgia washed over me as I watched the miracle of having my second child, along with hours after when my three year old boy (now 8) came in to see his little sister for the first time.

Adorable doesn't even describe it. Beautiful? Incredible? Goose Bumps kind of moment still doesn't put into words what I was feeling watching that old video. The minute my little boy said, "I'm a brudder" as his big blue eyes looked up at his dad, I could have died right then and been happy.

But, on the opposite side of that, I didn't look so hot. Sure I had just had a baby. But I looked...well, like me, but a more still-trying-to-find-myself me. Ya know? It was weird.

The next tape was the first two years of my marriage. Moments and times spent with family on campouts and vacations. I was so NOT ME. Does that make sense? I watched and felt like I was watching someone else... but knowing it was me. (Don't get me wrong, I felt I looked okay back then living in the moment--) I felt more like I was watching myself still trying to discover myself. Young for sure, but not young and totally gorgeous like a lot of young girls are now... no, I was young and cute but, homely? My husband liked me without makeup, so I'm sure I was convinced that natural beauty was the way to go for me... ha! Or I was just lazy. Or I was camping so there was no need for makeup... thank goodness I learned the importance of makeup and how it can enhance features--but also things such as washing my face and taking pride in what I dressed myself in.

Not that I didn't before.

Crap. This is getting hard to explain.

I look at myself now, and videos, and just things and I feel that I have filled in all the missing parts? Does that make any sense.

I feel more beautiful.

I believe my kids made me prettier. After having my kids I feel more like myself. More understanding of taking care of a person, which includes myself. Deciding that being a good example to them was key to helping them become better people MADE me look at myself and take better care of myself... working out, eating right, continuing to learn, discovering new talents and helping them grow, not giving up when I want to, committing more to who I am spiritually so they have someone to anchor themselves to. All these things adding up to a better me which shows in all of me, physically, mentally, spiritually.

It's crazy.

And hard to explain.

But I just feel now, more me. It may be age and maturity or just that I'm actually finding or have discovered that I have found myself.

I feel prettier. And maybe on a good and very bold day, I'd venture to say sexy.

Okay so now what do you have to add? Do you agree with me? Or think I'm blowing steam out of my nose holes?

Love,

I'm over there again talking about 11 years of marriage and what i've learned!

I'm still over at Real World today! So I thought I'd remind you, because I'm lonely...

either that, or I'm doing a post about how my husband and I will mark our 11 years of marriage tomorrow and I share my knowledge of how we keep it together... or have... or... ya know.

See ya over there!!!

OH and it's THIS GUY'S birthday and you should hop over there and wish him a Happy Birthday or he said he might quit blogging!!! We can't have that!!!

Hey come visit me over HERE

I did a post over on Real World today... start of a new month and hopefully the comeback of my poor neglected relationship site!!!

So visit me over there... Loves ya all!!!

Love,

I was at the store the other day

So I was at the store and I had an epiphany.

I have man hands since doing crossfit and building calluses.

This is not me or my hands--this pic comes from here

They're gross.

When I would shake people's hands I would be kinda self conscious, which I've never been before.

So the other day I'm sitting there after a work out and I ask about the calluses. The girls there tell me that they use the heel callus thing and shave off their calluses and smooth them with a sand paper like thing. They have baby bottom smooth hands.

SO I thought... I'm going to try it.

I went and bought one of the razor blade callus things and the sand paper thing. Have you ever seen a toddler try to color the first time and they look really awkward and mess up a lot. Yea... ummm I was worse.

I cut the heck out of my hands and then rubbed them with that sand paper looking stuff... put some deep moisturizing lotion stuff on them and went to bed.

I woke up and they were like a babies behind!!! I was so proud of myself! I had done it, awkwardly and ugly and stuff... but they FELT girlie again.

Then I walk in to work out today. Everything involved my hands and I tore them and all that work, pain, and agony from last night...

Gone.

Hello man hands.

Sincerly,

I really am a girl, I just have man feeling hands.

And YES, it's worth it!

Love,

C'mon Ride this train-Dance Central Kinect-Challenge

I realize more and more... I'm not really a philosopher.  Shocking!  I know.  I have my serious thoughts, but let's be honest, I can't be serious or take anything serious for very long.

And it's funny because I always have these things that I could complain about or bring up to cause some kind of discussion or controversy, but then I'm like--"oh! I see sparkle" and I can't remember what I was going to talk about.

So when I bring the deep thoughts, count yourself lucky that day.  :)


SO here's something way serious.  3GirlKnight challenged me to a Dance Central Kinect dance off--that link is his challenge to everyone, but he challenged me in email... and I'm not one to let go of a challenge.

I challenge him to video himself next time!  Just sayin.  Cause I did it via Flip cam and I brought out the leg warmers and the unbrushed hair...  Bring it 3 Girl Knight!!!  His score was 549,708.  Here is what I got live and in color!

Deleted NOW... sorry slackers!

I will be taking this video off within 24 hrs. But there is your proof that, well, I beat his score!!! Just jump to the end if you don't want to watch me pump my fist in there air while trying to mirror a cartoon person on the T.V.

Anybody else up for the challenge?

Love,

True Forgiveness via a new friend

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. ~Henry Ward Beecher"

I was talking with a new friend about this very subject and she said something that hit true that had come to her. It was similar to this quote, something to the fact that if you forgive and truly forgive, then you cannot bring it up again whether it be 3 weeks or 20 years later. Not if you truly forgive.

It's hard to do that though. One doesn't want to forget what wrong was done to them because they don't want to be put int hat situation again, they don't want to be vulnerable... but that is forgiveness, as she so eloquently reminded me, it is being vulnerable again.

Do you learn a lesson? Yes.

Is it a fun way to learn? Heck no.

But true forgiveness is such a healing balm to the soul and I think I like the outlook Ghandi put on it, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Gandhi"

They sure don't make it easy to be strong...

Thanks to my friend for talking to me about it. I love being reminded.

Hope you all have a good Sunday!

Love,

Death by age and kipping pull up

Here's the thing.

I try to let me kids know about stuff that use to scare me as a child.

Things like Death.

I was SOOOOOO scared of dying.

Not ME dying but people I loved and depended on... so mostly my parents.

There was more than one night where I would have to think about my favorite childhood church song to make me feel more at peace because at times the thought of not having my parents around would consume me with paralyzing fear. Which is quite a feat in and of itself when you have a little sister kicking you in the twin bed you share with her.

Anyway... back to my point. I try to lessen the fear by talking about Death and the fact that we will see the people that die again. I try to make it seem magical. "Death is what get's us back to our families and loved ones that have passed on, so it's a good thing" and "it's okay to miss them right now, but did you know that time goes really quick up in Heaven so after they get there it will seem like minutes until we are there with them again!" and "it's hard for us because we miss them down here with us, but they are having such a great time up there!"

So the other day my daughter and I were driving together... somewhere. I forget now. And she starts this conversation about getting old.

Her: Mommy-when you get old you'll die.

ME: Yes, I will, but I have a long way to go until I get old so you have nothing to worry about. (assuming she was worried I would die)

Her: I'm not worried, but you ARE getting really really old, so it might not be that long.

And there you have it. The reason why my daughter can't speak right now, because I turned around and throat punched her. (I was kidding in case you thought I was being for real).

Since we are talking about death. I've been going to a CrossFit box here where I live, I have endearingly termed it Satan's Lair, if you remember. I am quite obsessed with it actually and go 5-6 times a week. For the first time in a long time I have not concentrated on how much I weigh, but on how I'm improving on workouts. I've been going for 6 months now and have cut my times down by whole minutes on some of the workouts while lifting more or doing more reps--but I about die each workout--each one harder than I expect--but such a sense of accomplishment when I get done!

I still work on how I see myself in the mirror--realizing more and more that I need to remember that I'm working towards the perfect 10 ME and not some really slender girl with no hips or sisters on top aka boobs--basically I'm owning up to reality. And it frees me a little bit more from my mind and the destructive thoughts I battle.

I thought I'd show this picture that the owner of the CrossFit here where I workout took of me and posted on their blog-- a kipping pull up with no band-- just me myself and I.

I know it looks like I was eating the bar... but there you go. I think we did 40 pullups that day and I did it all with out the band.

So yea... working on the perfect 10 ME and killin myself one workout at a time.  But I'm NOT getting really really old!!!

Love,

Neutral, cool, laid back.

My husband and I are mostly just really good friends. We love each other sure... but we are best friends besides all of the other stuff that comes with love. If we weren't in love, I'm pretty sure we'd still kick it as friends or keep in touch with each other.

What I love mostly is that he really is kind of a tough guy, especially when it comes to gifts on ANY holiday. He always is saying, "I don't need anything." For a gift GIVER like myself, that's hard to swallow. For years I still bought him gifts with no other outcome then a slow, "thanks" as he would toss it aside. It's not that he never liked what I gave him, he just doesn't really react dramatically on either end of the scale--always neutral, cool, laid back.

But as you learn more about someone, you learn how to get some kind of reaction other than a neutral, cool, and laid back one.

The key? Instead of giving them something that they WANT or NEED... give them something that will shock them or is completely unexpected.

I know, I'm a genius. Only took me like 8 years to figure that out, so the last three have been kind of fun! :)

So let me fill you in. On Christmas Eve our family tradition is to open one gift under the tree. For the kids it's from Mom and Dad, and for each other it's, well, from each other. I hope you are still with me.

Anyway... it's always pajamas, even for MountainSport Man and I, it's some form of lounge wear.

So here he is, neutral, cool, laid back.

I told him to smile at the camera... he looks like he's plotting my demise... so bad azz.

But when he opened the present... Freaking Long Johns!!! lol... he laughed, and I succeeded! Plus, he can use them for when he snowboards!  Double Win for Shelle!

So what's the worst or best present your received for ANY holiday?

Come Out Come Out Wherever you ARE! Lurker!

It's one of the best holidays or just days of blog land today!!! I'm surprised if you don't know about it!

It's De-lurker's Day.

Basically, De-Lurkers to a blog are like Stalkers or Peeping Tom's to a real live person at their house. You peer in with your binoculars (read the post), watch what is going on, (imagine what I say in your mind), and instead of walking up to the house and knocking on the door to introduce yourself (leave a comment) you slink away to come back again the next day (move on to the next blog, turn off the computer because you have a life, too shy to let the other readers know who you are). But not today!!! Today is the DAY--the day you comment-- just today is all I ask (beg).

To be fair, I didn't really remember about it until a good blog friend of mine, SciFi Dad emailed me to remind me and sent this awesome graphic to commemorate the event...and I believe someone emailed him to remind him and sent HIM the graphic. Either way... I think it's worthy of a whole post all to itself.

Here's the thing though. I am kind of competitive... and I want all my lurkers to out comment the rest of those posting De-lurkers Post. I'm also getting this up late, which means we already are behind.

Can we do it guys? I believe in you... so believe in yourself. I want to know who you are, so stop being shy and/or lazy for just one day and leave a comment! Or not... or not, I'm not twisting your arm... I promise. (Really SciFi Dad is and the guy that emailed him (Rude Cactus Guy) ;) ... just sayin it wasn't me. (And that's how you throw someone under the bus--hope you took notes.)

Love ya!

(Now leave a comment--anything!!! make it funny, one word, drop your secretest secret-go big and then go home)

In the meantime--Here's how my family brought in the New Year!  We are so Freaking crazy it's redunkulous! (The worst New Year's Video ever! You will never get that time back if you watch it. But you should still watch it)



I also did this post over at Real World--so feel free to De-Lurk and not be a jerk/jurk!

VLOG: Which one should I choose?

YAY! a VLOG. A shaky one, but ONE nonetheless. I have a question for you... so let me know what you think!



If you can't watch my VLOG (and yes you are missing out-if only to see if I REALLY look anything like FLO from the Progressive insurance commercials, but without a bump it), the jist of it is VERIZON, who is our cell phone service provider, announced they will be getting the iPhone 4 in early February. It's true because even the Washington Post put an article out on it.

SO... since I'm due for a new phone in a few months... I want to know from you guys...

iPhone? Or Droid X?

Or "Shelle, girl, you KNOW I hate cell phones, so I say NEITHER and let them burn."

Discuss in comments.

Go over and LAUGH at the comparison! Just a teaser...

I have one of my regular contributors, that has been less regular, and now seems more like a guest--actually contribute today! And he did a smashing job as always, but he's over at Real World Venus vs. Mars--my OTHER blog, the one that I host but rely on the blog world for my posts!!! :) The one about relationships. He talks about how his relationships with his boys and girls differ... awesome read. So click over there! Below is a teaser--made me laugh!

Howdy, neighbor! It's me. Brian. Tysdaddy to you Twittering types. Around these parts, I am sometimes known by my blog name, The Cheek of God. Or you may recognize my avatar. Affectionately known as Balding Old Man With Mustache.

Whatever. I'm the guy that used to write here quite a bit and then up and vanished like a fart in the wind. (And ten bucks to the one who gets that movie reference, without using Google . . . ) But it's a new year, and like Frankenstein's monster, "It's ALIVE!!!!!"

Or something like that.

To my Mars homeys . . . Word! And I must say that the Venus ladies are looking as lovely as ever.

Speaking of lovelies, have you ever noticed how much this lady . . .


. . . and our gracious and wonderful host . . .



. . . look so much alike?! I triple dog dare ya to watch one of those commercials and NOT think of Shelle. Just sayin's all!

But seriously . . .

SOOOO--head over there and laugh with me about the comparison... and then if you have anything to add about what Brian says... let him know! Love ya guys!

Love,

Snow Day messed up my plans

So I'm not sure if you knew this, but it snowed where I live yesterday. That's pretty significant since on average it snows about... never in a year.

Well it really screwed up my plans.

You see... I found out on New Year's Day that Dillards has this crazy sale day. My husband mistakenly found out about it when he was looking for shoes for me and the lady told him about it... well, according to him it was "ladies" telling him about it and "helping" him pick shoes/boots out for me.

Uh huh.

Anyway... so we went to this sale and bought killer boots an awesome deal and I was going to wear them yesterday.

But I couldn't. I couldn't because it snowed... and my boots wouldn't have done well with the snow... because of the water snow holds.

Sigh.

Way to screw up my plans Mother Nature you use to be so consistent in this desert weather!

On the other hand... finding the glass half full, aren't my children super adorable in the snow! They were up at the crack of dawn to play with it before it melted!

Taken from my phone camera

Taken from my camera phone