Thursday, January 27, 2011

I was at the store the other day

So I was at the store and I had an epiphany.

I have man hands since doing crossfit and building calluses.

This is not me or my hands--this pic comes from here
They're gross.

When I would shake people's hands I would be kinda self conscious, which I've never been before.

So the other day I'm sitting there after a work out and I ask about the calluses. The girls there tell me that they use the heel callus thing and shave off their calluses and smooth them with a sand paper like thing. They have baby bottom smooth hands.

SO I thought... I'm going to try it.

I went and bought one of the razor blade callus things and the sand paper thing. Have you ever seen a toddler try to color the first time and they look really awkward and mess up a lot. Yea... ummm I was worse.

I cut the heck out of my hands and then rubbed them with that sand paper looking stuff... put some deep moisturizing lotion stuff on them and went to bed.

I woke up and they were like a babies behind!!! I was so proud of myself! I had done it, awkwardly and ugly and stuff... but they FELT girlie again.

Then I walk in to work out today. Everything involved my hands and I tore them and all that work, pain, and agony from last night...

Gone.

Hello man hands.

Sincerly,

I really am a girl, I just have man feeling hands.

And YES, it's worth it!

Love,

9 comments:

PorkStar said...

lol, i used to have the opposite effect. I would shake hands with someone and they'd be like, "You you ahve soft hands" and gave me a weird look. I go to the gym and while lifting weights, I look at my hands and they look smooth, nice and too damn metro gay! No wonder I've been getting all these dudes being overly friendly with me at the gym. I don't even put lotion on them.

I may have to drink more beer and work on cars or something, to shake off these girly hands nonsense.

T said...

my hands are a little too rough to be called feminine... but is it too much to ask my nails to GROW a little already??? ugh.

Kristina P. said...

I have baby butt hands.

Barbaloot said...

Obviously working-out is over-rated. You've probly broken dozens of nails by now! The horror.

Garden of Egan said...

I don't work out, but I wash my hand a hundredmilliontrillongazillion times a day.
I have lotion EVERYWHERE I go.

Uh, the callouses look gross by the way. I'm glad you took the sandblaster and razors to them. (tell me you really DID NOT)
Sheesh, you are serious about babybutts aren't ya?

The Napkin Dad said...

You need to add a massage therapy to your list of entrepreneurial efforts. You'll get baby soft hands that way, AND strong arms!

Trooper Thorn said...

What sort of condition are your feet in?

Papa K said...

Thank gawd that picture wasn't of you! Man that is frightening!

Kazzy said...

I am a hand diva and get regular manicures.

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