Thursday, January 20, 2011

Death by age and kipping pull up

Here's the thing.

I try to let me kids know about stuff that use to scare me as a child.

Things like Death.

I was SOOOOOO scared of dying.

Not ME dying but people I loved and depended on... so mostly my parents.

There was more than one night where I would have to think about my favorite childhood church song to make me feel more at peace because at times the thought of not having my parents around would consume me with paralyzing fear. Which is quite a feat in and of itself when you have a little sister kicking you in the twin bed you share with her.

Anyway... back to my point. I try to lessen the fear by talking about Death and the fact that we will see the people that die again. I try to make it seem magical. "Death is what get's us back to our families and loved ones that have passed on, so it's a good thing" and "it's okay to miss them right now, but did you know that time goes really quick up in Heaven so after they get there it will seem like minutes until we are there with them again!" and "it's hard for us because we miss them down here with us, but they are having such a great time up there!"

So the other day my daughter and I were driving together... somewhere. I forget now. And she starts this conversation about getting old.

Her: Mommy-when you get old you'll die.

ME: Yes, I will, but I have a long way to go until I get old so you have nothing to worry about. (assuming she was worried I would die)

Her: I'm not worried, but you ARE getting really really old, so it might not be that long.

And there you have it. The reason why my daughter can't speak right now, because I turned around and throat punched her. (I was kidding in case you thought I was being for real).

Since we are talking about death. I've been going to a CrossFit box here where I live, I have endearingly termed it Satan's Lair, if you remember. I am quite obsessed with it actually and go 5-6 times a week. For the first time in a long time I have not concentrated on how much I weigh, but on how I'm improving on workouts. I've been going for 6 months now and have cut my times down by whole minutes on some of the workouts while lifting more or doing more reps--but I about die each workout--each one harder than I expect--but such a sense of accomplishment when I get done!

I still work on how I see myself in the mirror--realizing more and more that I need to remember that I'm working towards the perfect 10 ME and not some really slender girl with no hips or sisters on top aka boobs--basically I'm owning up to reality. And it frees me a little bit more from my mind and the destructive thoughts I battle.

I thought I'd show this picture that the owner of the CrossFit here where I workout took of me and posted on their blog-- a kipping pull up with no band-- just me myself and I.



I know it looks like I was eating the bar... but there you go. I think we did 40 pullups that day and I did it all with out the band.

So yea... working on the perfect 10 ME and killin myself one workout at a time.  But I'm NOT getting really really old!!!

Love,



13 comments:

nitebyrd said...

OMG! I also have a fear of dying (Me - in particular!) and am doing Crossfit. If you're scared of dying, Crossfit should not be the exercise of choice 'cause sooner or later, it's gonna kill you!

I'm still trying to get to the actual pull-up stage. The ring pulls alone are enough to make me want to die!

Satan's Lair. I REALLY like that!

Kristina P. said...

I have a deep fear of my husband dying. Went to therapy for like 3 months to deal with it. He was working in a dangerous job, and I woke up one morning, thinking he hadn't kissed me goodbye, and basically panicked, which triggered this phobia.

He will graduate from the fire academy in about 2 1/2 months. Time to make another therapy appointment!

T said...

you rock.

just had to get that out of the way.

I had a horrible fear of death when I was young... until I actually had to deal with it - which was a horrible thing to go through (I was 8) but I survived... and was stronger (and less likely to stop breathing out of fear)

My daughter also has a healthy attitude toward it - she has told me and M.O.T.H. repeatedly that we'll probably die right in our front yard someday. (seriously, I avoid the front yard now... the fear is back!)

Barbaloot said...

Holy cow! I'd be proud if I could do one pull-up like that. And you got 40? Way to go!

SciFi Dad said...

Last night before he went to bed my two year old informed me, "Daddy, your mouf stinky!"

I told him I loved him too. Then I tripped him when he walked away.

CityMom2 said...

You are doing pull ups! You are my IDOL!!! I've never done one (unassisted). It's still on the Bucket list.

Shelle, you will be with us always. I'm so psyched by the pull up.
Citymom
PS - ain't kids clever?

Runblondie26 said...

Impressive! I wish I could do just one pull-up.

Lol, kids say the darndest times.

3GirlKnight said...

HAHAHA! I wish I was in the car for that. Not because I'd be laughing at you, but because almost the same thing happened to me.

And good for you on the work out! Keep it up.


ok ok I'd be laughing at you a little...but just a little.

PorkStar said...

LMAO about your daughter, that's too cute.

I've never been afraid of that myself, just of those around me and when it started happening when I was very young, i knew I needed to be ready for this.

As far as the work outs, you look like you got things under control, you are a total pro. Work it, girl, work it! : )

Emily said...

You go to Crossfit and you have a fear of death? Seems those two don't go together. I'd love to try the place but it scares the pants off me! You are amazing (and already a 10)!

Melissa Bastow said...

I used use the fear of death to get out of bed every night and cry to my mom. But I can't really remember if I was actually afraid of death or if I just wanted an excuse to get out of bed....

Que said...

You know... It doesn't matter how old you really are, kids have a way of making you feel older. LOL!

Danielle said...

I am so proud of you for the ongoing work outs and seeing them like you are! Now I need to get back into it!
You go girl!

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