Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Nothing defines me besides...

For some reason we have had a month free of STARZ on our TV programming. Amongst the waste of movies I've been watching Confessions of a Shopaholic came on. I only got to catch the end of it, but I think it says one of the truest things as far as one liners go.

It's the part at the end where she has hit rock bottom, the man she loves has dumped her, her best friend hates her, and she has been publicly humiliated on National Television for being majorly in debt. Her parents pull up to her New York apartment in their RV, something that they had saved up for and bought, something they both had wanted.

They take her to a place to sit and think and talk. Her Father comes down to the waters edge to talk with her while her mother remains in the RV. As she quietly cried her dad speaks up and says, "Your mom and I think, if the American economy can be billions in debt and still survive, so can you. - The RV's worth about 13..."

She looks at him shocked "- No. Dad."

He says, "We want to."

She responds adamantly, "I will kill you if you sell it. It completely defines you. Completely."

He looks at her and fervently states, "Nothing defines me, except you and your mother."

I just love that. I think it rings so true. We often get caught up where we believe that THINGS define us... but what really defines us, or should define us, is those people lucky enough we choose to love and they choose to love us back. Our families, our close friends who are like our families, relationships define us.

As a parent myself, my children and husband most definitely define me, and I'm so proud of that. If they are successful as humans with good character and are good people, I am successful. It's scary and sweetly awesome all wrapped up into one.

My son is evolving into this incredibly young man. He's sweet, and tough, and smart, and good and most of what he tries, and if he's not? He works at it. He plays sports and yet, wanted to be in the show choir because of a girl and his best guy friend :), and when he was four I signed him up for Hip Hop taught by a guy.

I thought to myself, I don't want him to be one of those guys in middle school and high school that keep the wall up because he's afraid to dance or look "stupid" because he doesn't know how. And it's been something he's enjoyed, so much, that he's on a competition team made up of girls and boys ranging from ages 8-12. Their first performance was last month and I'm going to say it, I was a proud Mama... plus, I really really love the song.

So to wrap this all up... I'm so glad DCar defines me.

So? Tell me what you think? Do you think it rings true? Your loved ones define you? What defines you?


Barbaloot said...

The end of the movie is the only decent thing in the whole show---be glad you just caught the end:)

Sometimes I think it's less my loved ones that define me, and more how I treat them, feel about them that defines me. They may be amazing people, but if I'm a crummy person then it's me, and not them, that's the defining factor.

SciFi Dad said...

Like you, I think my family defines me. Not my job, not anything else; my wife and kids.

T said...

what a wonderful thought - to be defined by our relationships... by what we have influenced and helped mold.

and DCar rocks :)

clan of the cave hair said...

I think you put that very nicely indeed. Although for myself personally, I hope that I know enough about who I am as an individual soul walking this earth, that when the day comes that my children's accomplishments are theirs alone, and I may perhaps find myself with an empty nest, that I will still know who I am, outside of the role of mother, and even wife. That's not to take away any importance from those roles, just my own personal hope that by the time I'm left to stand on my own two feet, I'll have a sturdy enough foundation to know who "ME" is.

Kimi said...

I definitely feel like my kids are the thing that defines me. I want them to be brave and confident and secure enough to be EXACTLY who they are. When they grow up to be that person, the one they were meant to be I will know I did alright.

Emily said...

I love this post, Shelle. I need these reminders! My family definitely defines me, both current and past and extended. Of course, I like to think I define me too!

Garden of Egan said...

That is a deep post. I've never watched the show, but I love your take on it.

I think I too am defined by my family and the relationships that I have.

CUTE MAN you have! You should be proud!

wendy said...

good stuff. Never seen the show. I certainly HOPE our THINGS don't define us eh. Some people have precious little and yet have souls the size of mountains.....and other people have Tons of THINGS, and yet they are as empty as a dry well.

Also, Yes, I think in part, our family and loved ones define us. I have often said
If I FAIL AS A MOTHER, then I have plain failed........there is not other success barometer that matters to me.

Yet, if our children fail to follow through with what we teach them, and by their own choices make terrible mistakes.......does THAT define US.

I think....it also is very important that the way WE chose to live our lives, and the manner we treat others, and how we protect our personal invested space in this life.......may better define us.

good things to think about eh

DCHY said...

I enjoyed the movie. Isla Fisher was able to pull off the hardest thing to do - be funny. Granted, she was the scene-stealer in "Wedding Crashers"...but to carry the whole movie?

I like your view on the movie though. Maybe I should tell my girls this. :)

... said...

That is such a great thought, I don't think our children's mistakes define us because whether or not they do make mistakes it is the person deep down inside that makes them who they are. We all make mistakes, I actually really like that show. Anyways sis I love you and you are a wonderful mother.

On another note, Dcar is such a stud! I love how he is just like staring off to what is going on around him and doesn't even miss a beat!

Love ya!

Kathi Oram Peterson said...

I saw that movie a while ago. Thanks for the reminder about what really defines us. I believe that as well. It's the people who surround us who define who we are. Great post!

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