Thursday, January 15, 2009

Come ON...what would YOU SAY?

I'm stark raving HUNGRY right now.

Physically and well mentally...

You guys are smart...you guys KNOW the answers to the unresolved questions.

And since I only have like 5 minutes and .32 seconds to write this post...it's as good of a time as any to just ASK you a question. I got this hilarious email entitled, "And then the fight started..." and I think it would be fun to keep the joke rolling...or see what we can come up with in response to these.

Here is one...

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's dang near perfect.'

...and then the fight started...

I want to know what you guys would say as a retort!

Come ON...if a girl doesn't have her mind and wit about her...what is she REALLY good for! :)

Like I would have done this...

Smiled...Turned around...counted seductively as I walked toward him, 1...2...3..., licked my lips, and then KNEE HIM IN THE NUTS!!!

Now what would you have done?

26 comments:

April said...

(In the Soup Nazi's voice) No sex for you! One year!

Sandi said...

hahaha....Yours and April's responses are perfect, no way I can top those!

Anjeny said...

Alllright, I get to be first.
Ok, first off, I would never stand nude in front of mirror.
Secondly, I would lay all the blame at my hubby's feet for sad looking condition I'm in...being pregnant six time, heck I'm entitled to get fat and if I'm ugly is because I'm spending too much of my time making sure he looks good..lol. All rhetorical statements.
Now back to the topic at hand, what would I say?
I will give him the sweetest smile I can muster since I'm seething inside, the smile he loves so much and said in my sweetest voice,
"Of course my eyesight in dang near perfect, that's why I have to say these sorry sad things about me to keep the spotlight off the fact that ur belly is drooping way past ur waiste-line, you jackass."
And laught uproariously as I walked past him with punch in his guts..LOL.

Anjeny said...

Oh crap...I took too long on that comment, I'm not first anymore. Just my luck!!

Kritta22 said...

honestly, I would bust out laughing!! That was a good one.

But since we are coming up with come backs...I'd say, "I think I'll go ask, my boyfriend, Edward, what he has to say!"

My hubby hates Edward with a passion because he thinks there's no one that perfect..he stinks that Edward makes all men look bad.

I'm sure I'd bring him into the convo somehow! haha HA HA HA (evil laugh)

Alyson (New England Living) said...

You caught me with a cold and overly tired! I'll have to come back to give my come back. Ha!

The Wixom Zoo said...

I think I'd melt into a sobbing pile of jell-o. Then he'd sleep on the couch. For a year.

McEwens said...

Guess you wont be needing those viagra pills for a ling time, huh>

Melinda said...

You know what else is perfect?! My sucker punch to the gonads!! Take that!

hehehehehehe

Thats actually pretty funny, but what a jerk! :)

T said...

it is funny... of course I'd probably laugh uproariously while plotting to check that his life insurance premiums were up to date...

clan of the cave hair said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
clan of the cave hair said...

"which is precisely why I close my eyes when we make love..."

Heidi Ashworth said...

Oooh, so many good ones. And then, after saying and/or doing any number of the ones already stated, I would saunter over to hubby's wallet, empty it out and go to the mall. It's the best revenge. (er, but that only works if there's money in it. Credit cards work, too)

Mariko said...

I like April's the best. It totally blows mine out of the water.

"Well, at least we match now."

Kritta22 said...

Came back to read everyone's comments! Seriously laughed out loud soooooooooo hard at clan of the cave hair!!!! LOL I'm telling that to my hubby.

Oh I told him my comback about how I love Edward. He said, "What your gay vampire?"

"Yes, I mean NO!!! He's not GAY!!!!""

"Then why didn't he have a girlfriend before Bella. He just wants her blood. Then he freaking got her pregnant and had to make the best of it."

me--speechless

Why didn't Edward have a girlfriend before Bella? Help me out!!!!

Aubrey said...

Oh! I think clan of the cave hair nailed it on the head. LOL Funny stuff!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

April's win my vote. Too too funny.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

April's win my vote. Too too funny.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Oh APRIL!!! LOL!!! You are GOOD real good!

Clan of the Cave Hair...I almost peed my pants! lol! Almost! Seriously that was WAY good...I'm storing that in the back of my mind for good retorts!!!

Anjeny has a good point also...seriously, he'd have to be perfect to get away with a comment like that!

Oh and Kritta...you and your hubby are so funny! Men just don't understand Edward he didn't have a girlfriend before BELLA because he never lost control with another HUMAN...when you lose control, then it's over...and I hope you don't have to guess WHAT control!!!

LOL!

You guys, seriously, is it okay to feel like you guys are my BEST of friends?

Where's Crash...can't wait to hear what she has to say...

Oh and SUSAN...where is she and Binks...and...and the rest of you!

Alyson...you must have been REALLY tired NOT to have a retort...come one, I feed of your sarcasm!!! :)

wendy said...

That's GREAT!! I would have said "Well, it must not be THAT great, I married you didn't I."

Melissa said...

I think I would look at him with a sad face and say, "You're right. I was hoping my eyesight wasn't so perfect the last time I looked at your little, shriveled up genitals."

PJ - Our life said...

I would probably turn around flip him the bird and say you jerk-off! Then do as Heidi suggests and take the money and go shopping!

Jen said...

As a high school sub you develop some killer glares. I have one for every possibly occasion. This would definitely call for my "Did you really just say that - now I'm going to have to kill you" glare.

He'd be cowering. And then I'd kill him.

The Me/ The Wife/ The Mom said...

Found your blog through Decisionally Challenged and I love it! You are too funny and fun!
I'm going to hang out for a while!
Good work!

binks said...

My retort: You should be thankful that love is blind.

Clan of the Cave Hair wins my vote.

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I am still in a tizzy over the unword of the day:

femail (fē-māl)

a. (n.) Nagging mail or email reminders.

Did you plan that???

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I would have done exactly what you did, since I'm your twin. Except I wouldn't have been seductive about it.

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