Sunday, October 26, 2008

Someone was murdered!!! Read on...

Last night was fun...although somewhat scandalous...I call it fun!

I'm not anything if not totally and completely a gossip! Truly!

A few weeks ago I attended a high class dinner with my LOVER who we shall name Mr. Green...since this is my journal I can divulge that I have a lover...otherwise I would have to kill you for letting you in on the secret, but you won't tell anyone...right?

Well just last week I was summoned by a court order to appear at the house of Sir William Wright...

Apparently, at that glorious and plush dinner there was a murder...and ALL that attended the dinner were being called back to figure out who the murderer was.

Because the dinner we attended was in the honor of someone HIGHLY famous they didn't want to bring unwanted publicity to it...so we were to attend ANOTHER dinner in this person's honor with the sole purpose of figuring out who the murderer was...

I, of course, was appalled about the murder...but being the person that I am, a highly curious and best Relief Society gossiper around, I KNEW without a doubt in my heart who killed the poor person that shall-not-be-named at the house and dinner party of a HIGHLY famous person that cannot-be-named...so I HAD to go, to pour out my knowledge to those who may not have as quick and keen of a mind such as myself...nor do they have the ability to KNOW about everyone as I did...

Just saying...


These were our place cards...they wrote my name in as MRS. Green...isn't that nice, they knew we weren't married, but lovers...yet it was TOO scandalous to invite the same lover twice to such a dinner party...so they made subtle changes...I mean, they couldn't put on it "Mr. Green's LOVER" now could they?

This was our mug shot...they called it a, "Memory Shot"...for evidence...I made sure not to crack a smile, I heard they can figure out a lot by a person's teeth...and color of teeth--I outsmarted them!!! Mr. Green and I had been busy in the coat closet right before this...unfortunately he was still a little distracted...(Shaking my head--I have that affect on people...it's a curse). I made sure to give them my most, "Don't mess with me look"!

Miss Scarlet...the skank...sorry, but she is...was there also! Looking even MORE beautiful than she did the first dinner. Although, the poor boy toy she drug along to attend dinner with her was smitten! We get along famously, Miss Scarlet and I!!! (I wonder if he has any money, maybe when I'm bored with Mr. Green, or spend all his funds, I can move onto him! hmmm...)

Mrs. Peacock brought along her husband...they seem to get along fine, but with a chin structure like that? Who couldn't get along with him? She looks highly suspicious...no?

Colonel Mustard brought along his "wife"...we all know that his plus one and a half was not REALLY his...but though the guy looks like he can wack off your head with one fell swoop of his sword arm...I hear he's a teddy bear--the thought of him murdering ANYBODY is ludicrous...but I never REALLY felt that tummy of hers...maybe she's hiding something, or SOMEONE, in there? One must leave all things open if they want to come to any conclusions...can't rule something out just because looks are very deceiving!

Mrs. White..."the maid and cook", worse one I've ever come across...sat with the homey she is pictured with...although they didn't come together...there WERE suspicous noises coming from the kitchen and NEITHER of them were around when we heard the noises...so we suspected they were TOGETHER...they seem pretty close in this picture...don't you think? She died her hair, got more modern glasses, and definitely had some stuff done on her face since the last time we all spied her!

Professor Plum brought along his college student...who attended the first dinner, saying she was there for research purposes for her "Class English Paper"...none of us were fooled...we ALL knew why she was there. The Professor likes them young, doesn't make him a murderer though...or does it?

There was lots of drinking...and conversing...and suspicious looks being glared back and forth.

Some very interesting potions and things being mixed up...I called it "Happy Mist"...Just saying...

From this point of view...nobody looks like they could kill anybody!

But then again...after putting that photo through my "True Self Machine"...this is what I got...and Mrs. Peacock looks like she is ready to kill someone and her Plus One looks willing and able to assist!

When it came down to it all...after three tries trying to figure it out...It was the last person I suspected...

It was Professor Plum, In the Ballroom, with the Lead Pipe!

What a pansy...who kills with a lead pipe anymore?

How was your weekend? Missed ya!

Love,

Shelle

P.S. Last chance to become one of the Final Four for the IPOD SHUFFLE in my Don't You Hate It When contest...see ya tomorrow!!!

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