Thursday, June 11, 2009

Vote for the Worst!

Warning: This post is dripping with sarcasm and shouldn't be taken seriously--except for the cool part I'm being serious about that, OH! and the part where I tell you about the "Other Nominees" that is true and unsarcastic.

The first time I found out about the site, VOTE FOR THE WORST.COM was when Sanjaya on American Idol season SIX kept getting through. My co-worker walks in STEAMING mad and plops himself down on my desk and says in a huff, "I found out through reading on (random website) that the only reason that *$#* Sanjaya is getting through is because of this website called VOTE FOR THE WORST.COM." Then he proceeds to grab my mouse and type in the designated URL to show me what he was talking about.

Sure enough. It said on the Headliner…"help us get Sanjaya to the finals" or something similar to that.

I huffed and puffed with my co-worker, supporting him in his disgust, and then when he left I spent the next hour laughing my butt off at the blog posts, cause I have wicked twisted humor like that!

Why am I telling you this you ask?

Well you know that HOT little button up there on the right hand side bar that says I have been nominated for "Hottest Mommy Blogger". (Actually I paid Crash really well to nominate me--anybody need to earn a few bucks next year? Or better yet… WHO WANTS TO WIN A MILLION DOLLARS and be my campaign manager?)

Well I've been surfing along the internet and have noticed a crime happening. There are like UMPTEEN MILLION people nominated for that SAME blog award!!! Here I thought I was special, loved, and adored… yet I looked through those other nominees, and I'm not going to lie to you folks… I'm the Sanjaya of the group!

My best PHOTOBOOTH picture EVA!

If they had a VOTE for the WORST-shouldn't-have-paid-someone-to-nominate-them BLOGGER.COM site--they would be beggin for votes for me!

The only thing I have going for me is that I lose a pound for every vote!

And yes, that was TOTALLY a fat joke!

But the other nominees, and these are just the few I know,Scary Mommy, Alyson, and Heidi… are incredibly worthy of the button, have blog stalkers because they are funny and excellent writers, and deserve to win. So they REALLY should get all the votes.

That's what I think about that!

So ALLS I'm sayin is… VOTE FOR THE WORST… or at LEAST put me up for Best Blog Design award… cause if that header isn't the coolest thing you've ever seen since Fraggle Rock, I don't know WHAT is!

PlusI have a family reunion I need to lose 15 pounds for cause nobody wants to be known as the cool FAT Aunt and I've already got ONE thing against me… I'm WAY cool!

*Please put in comments what you would like me to nominate you for and where I send the money when you vote for me. Thank. You.

1. For every twitter where you pimp out my nomination you will get a new car of your choice.
2. For every Facebook post you do to YELL out my nomination you get paid vacation time and trip ANYWHERE you want to go.
3. If you open multiple accounts, vote for me, so that I can illegally win, you will win the BAIL OUT money.
4. If you start a website called VOTE for the WORST-shouldn't-have-paid-someone-to-nominate-them BLOGGER.COM site and put me in the headlines everyday you will get three wishes from a Genie in a bottle.
5. If you nominate me for BEST BLOG DESIGN--I'll drop kick you.

P.S. In order to vote you have to tell the story of your life and give your SS# and all Acct#'s to get an account, then, and ONLY then, will it allow you to vote. I'm towards the END of the list, push past all the actual HOT Mommy's and then you'll see me.



Barbaloot said...

Ah-Fraggle Rock was the coolest thing ever! I'll vote for you based on that reference alone:)

Susan said...

That picture of your head is friggin hysterical. And Vegas in October??? MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm... tempting!

T said...

shoot - I REALLY need to remember my stupid log-in details to go back and vote... because I don't want to have to go through the hassle of submitting another urine sample, blood test, and note from my mother!

(hehe - have you seen Sanjaya is on "I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here... but I'm guessing the Vote For the Worst is pulling for Janice Dickerson - because they usually support the people I want to kill)

Barefoot Dreamer said...

fraggle rock? hahahaha - loved that show. So - dating ourselves!

TentCamper said...

I'll vote for you!!! But I don't know why they just did not make all of the Hot Mamas winners...cuz you are all the Hottest Mommy Bloggers out there.

Kristina P. said...

How often do they do those blogger awards? I think I was nominated last time. I don't know. Meh.

But I will still vote for you. I need to check out that SITS conference thing.

Malea said...

I looked at that site. Some of those "gals" think hot is synonymous for whore. (yes, I had to google the spelling of whore, because for whatever reason, I couldn't not spell it like "horror", or hour", g'head and snicker a bit). Anyway, you are the definitive of actual hot mama; no need to flash your cha cha's when one is both pretty and witty.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Barb-- LOL, Thanks! I know... I use to watch Fraggle Rock like I'd DIE if I didn't!!!

Susan-I know!!! I wonder if it will be worth the money?

T-It totally is going for Jane Dickerson... you are GOOOD!

BareFoot--I KNOW we SO are! But still. it was a good show!

TentCamper--This is true... except I'm the Sanjaya in that group also, so I would STILL have the same problem!

Kristina-- Check out SITS for sure!!! And I'm not sure... about how often they do those should be nominated again!

Malea-hahahaha! Maybe they are trying to tell me something???

The Blonde Duck said...

I loved Fraggle Rock!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Blonde Duck... I know huh! It was a sweet show! I always thought they would get caught when they went above ground... the suspense would kill me! lol!

Always Home and Uncool said...

Sorry. I just can't get passed that photo.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Yes that photo totally deserves a "what the what". And I love Fraggle Rock as well, and I am with T in the not being able to remember my password. Dang.

T said...

I think I could like Malea - anyone who is innocent to not know the meaning of whore makes me smile :)

April said...

hahahahaha!!!! that photo is almost accurate....except for the space in your teeth part....GOSH! hehehehe!

And I know where your reunion is...I just so happen to be in charge of scheduling parks! LOL!!! Have fun!

John Deere Mom said...

Ah, Fraggle Rock. Loved it. Almost as much as your freaky photobooth shot. (Tee hee. I just wrote shit instead of shot. It's way too early.)

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