Monday, March 30, 2009

You should have been in my pilates class with me yesterday!

You guys so wish you went to Pilates with me yesterday!

Pilates is one of those classes that you have to find your inner Zen.

You sweat...no DOUBT you sweat, but you also try and breathe through the movement so that you can find a relaxing, meditative state...it's not quite as strict as YOGA...but it's suppose to build your core as you breathe and strengthen your muscles.

If you've done it...you know what I mean.

My pilates instructor is one you envy. She has a killer body and she's a NAZI when it comes to making it BURN--she breaks a sweat like the rest of us, but she glows with inner health...you know what I mean, one of THOSE girls.

She is the only pilates instructor I have come upon that talks to us while we suffer!

She will say, "Do you feel it burning yet?" and if we don't answer she just keeps going thinking we aren't hurting...so SOMEONE in the class has to yell, "YES! It burns it hurts I'm SUFFERING!" (it's usually me) to which she will reply, "Then we have 8 more!"

My thing is...I'm in pain right? I can barely BREATHE right?...let alone get out a coherent WHINE or COMPLAIN!

SO when I go to this class...I'm ready to work and I am at my UPMOST maturity level. (Just cause the movement can be kind of funny and dirty if you have one of those minds...so it use to make me giggle, but NOT anymore!)

Except for yesterday. I got in late to class. So I take the back row like a respectful late person would do and arrange my mats.

I join in leg circles with the class.

I'm minding my own business...letting my mind wander...wondering what ZEN even means? Then I spot something that made me chuckle a little...

There was a girl, who let me just say...has more of a pear shaped body, whose spandex pants had slipped down...somehow...and was showing her THONG. Not the ones you wear on your feet either...and it was showing just enough, with dimples all around it, so that the first thing that popped in my head when I saw it was something MountainSport Man said once, "It looks like her butt is eating her underwear".

Now I know that sounds mean...and I'm really not a mean person, but sometimes I can't help what I think.

For some reason...at that moment...in that class...while I was finding my inner Zen...that thought struck me as funny...and I started to laugh. I couldn't stop.

Mind you, other people are trying to drift to WHO KNOWS WHERE to relax and I'm making gulping, hiccuping, breathing sounds trying NOT to laugh...and right when I would get myself under control...I would glance over there and start laughing again.

Soon it was a FULL belly gut laugh.

I tried to play it off that I was in so much pain that I was laughing about it...and PHEW they believed me and just smiled...while tears are streaming down my face and I'm feeling like I'm going to die because I can't breathe from laughing so hard.

So we go into our next move. You begin by lying flat on your back with your arms above your head. Then you slowly and controlled bring your arms and legs in to a tuck position and then unfold keeping your head, arms, shoulders, and feet above the ground contracting your stomach. It HURTS like a mother...and we seem to do it forever!!!

On our second to last tuck I hear a human-whoppee-cushion sound...

Oh! That was TOO much. I began laughing again...All I could think was...

"Hmmmm...that thong must have been good!"

I just wish there would have been someone there to share it with...

Love,

Shelle



P.S. I dish on WHY Facebook has saved my marriage so click Real World Venus vs. Mars!

24 comments:

Kritta22 said...

LOL

Wiping tears!!

Your hubby is hilirous!!

And you with your follow up!!

Yummy!

LOL

I so wanna meet you in real life!

Annette Lyon said...

Trying NOT to laugh is the surest way TO laugh. The whoopee cushion was the perfect cherry on top.

Michele Horne said...

Holy crap! I am surprised you didn't start a domino effect! If I was there, I most certainly would have started laughing with you.

Susan said...

OMG. This is so why I can't take yoga or pilates. I giggle constantly - especially when I'm uncomfortable or not sure of what the hell I'm doing! I got kicked out of a karate class I once tried in college because I couldn't stop giggling. But at least my butt wasn't eating my underwear back then. (way too funny!!)

The Wixom Zoo said...

Bwahahahaha!!!

ukyankoz said...

That is hysterical, oh my gosh! I can't believe you managed to finish the class! I love those giggling fits where you can't stop - they're fun - but hard to pull off in public with everyone looking for their Zen...(And apparently, their thong.)

Can I come next time??

PJ - Our life said...

Another great story!!

Aubrey said...

Oh Shelle!

THAT was good. Maybe not as good as the thong but goooood!

Can't.
Stop.
Laughing.

LOUDLY.

The Blonde Duck said...

I loved your post on Venus today! It was great!

Lara said...

:)

I am very good at being struck with something that otherwise wouldn't be THAT funny, except I'm in a place where I shouldn't laugh. And then I am a laughing mess.

Hey, I'm sure your belly got just as good of a workout from laughing as it did from the Pilates. It's a good thing.

Sher said...

I hate exercise classes where your not allowed to talk. It would be fun to go to pilates with you.

Melinda said...

I totally know what you mean about having to be mature with pilates--funny stuff there really!! LOVE your story--awesome!! hehehehe

Anjeny said...

That was hilarious. What your MSM said sounded like something my hubby would say..very funny.

Yeah now I totally wish I was there with you, I would have been rolling around on the mat laughing and got kicked out but at least I've had my fun. Not that I'm mean or anything, I just love a good laugh.

Thanks for laugh Shelle.

Angie's Spot said...

I'm laughing heartily from here! I always manage to get uncontrollable giggles at the most inappropriate times. And your story reminds me of why I never wear a thong to work out in. Ouch.

H.K. said...

I would have laughed out loud too, good thing we don't take the same Pilates class! I don't get thongs, i mean is it really hygenic to wear something like that?

(saw you blog on mormon mommy blogs, awesome blog!)

wendy said...

I HATE GLOWING NAZI killer body pilate instructors. But yeah, have considered starting that up again.

Kate said...

This is just one more reason I do not go to the gym. Butler is not known for their "fit" women, probably due to the masssive thong shortage. LOTS of thongs getting eaten, if you know what I mean.

And I think you do. :)

T said...

thanks, I needed that belly laugh - if I'd been there I would have been laughing along with you - especially if you'd shared your inner thoughts!!!

I also need to do pilates... but last time I tried (ummm... 3 years ago...) Mari Windsor said "roll to a sitting position" and I had to roll over to my hands and knees instead... I need pilates for dummies first!

dadshouse said...

Too funny. Honestly, the whole "is it burning yet?" thing is why I cycle alone. If it burns, I coast. If I get passed by the peleton, I shrug.

Then again, there aren't any women wearing thongs in cycling... ha.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Love the story. I've been debating pilates, didn't actually know what they were though. I tried yoga (found it was cool but the slow factor was boring!). So I'm running, but maybe pilates on the off days, hmmm, that could be fun.
I would be alone however in my living room, no chance of a thong story though!

dadshouse's comment made me laugh! not many thongs in cycling, lol.

Brooks said...

*crying from laughing so hard*

I just admire you for actually going to the class!!! I can't seem to find the time!

LIFE CHANGES said...

I can't believe we can't comment on the last post. I just had to tell you that I am in tears right now because DCar is exactly how you describe him, he is so sweet and so sensitive. Hearing you talk about him begin young makes realize that when my little boy comes it is going to go by so fast. You and MSM are such great parents! Love ya!

shannon said...

It's always those times when you shouldn't be laughing that makes it unbearably funny!--I wish I would have been there with you...
I was too busy sweating it out with your pilates instructor's sister in my spin class--(Is it possible to be too toned?!) PS--And I'm not referring to me!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hi Shelle Belle, How's my favorite blokhead? I am so missing you and can't wait to be back. Which will be soon. After 3:30 when the rest of my papers have to be finished. Oh, and I promised my son I'd make cookies too. Oh, and I need a nap.

I have my first post written in my head for Venus Mars. I'll be over there ASAIC. As Soon As I Can. ;)

Hey, your hub cut his hair. BUMMER! And what a cute boy. LOVE that tough guy shot. I've got me a tough guy like that too.

LY

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