Since it's Sunday I thought I would tell you a little of what I have been struggling with lately.
OKay here it goes...I found out I complain about the stupidest things...trivial and stupid! Not NEW knowledge for those of you that know me well, but those of you that don't...this is a part of me and who I am...
I hate that I do this and catch myself one stupid, whiny, complaint too many! It's annoying, and unfortunate for those around me who have to deal with it on a somewhat consistent basis...I mean, why am I consistent in this? Why couldn't I be consistent in something more productive that could help us out as a family like writing children's books about uplifting or humorous topics or become an influential teacher to help the younger generation? Not in my genetic make-up I guess.
Anyway, I found myself complaining about dumb things like when is our life going to get started...this college hold period is really getting old.
Why I haven't made anything of myself...I know I was put on this earth to become better than I am, yet I tend to stick to being lazy and am one stick short of becoming great :)
All of it because of me and my dumb self doubt...who came up with allowing us to have self doubt...yes it makes one discover more of who they are, I understand that, yet I still hate that I do it...I still hate that I fall to it...I still hate that I am human. I know I want to be better, I know that I want to succeed in being all that I should be...yet, I find myself still being the ultimate procratstinator, still never being on time for things, still letting people down by not fulfilling promises like, "Let's do lunch or dinner" or "let's hang out"...okay so everyone says those things, but I really mean them, I really want to hang out or go to lunch...then I start my work week and I never call! So you wonderful, beautiful, friends...sorry, and hey we REALLY should get together! :)
Then I get on my Google Reader and I read some of my favorite blogs and I end up blog surfing and I hit on posts like this from We are THAT family and realize that I am one of those bloggers that use this blog as a venting session because it is my FREE therapy! I mostly like to laugh and share that with you guys, but every once in a while I realize that I vent...and it feels oh so good, then I feel bad that I DON'T feel bad for letting it all out there in BLOG world. Then I hope that I am NOT making a bad impact!
I also read this post and felt like a failure as a blogger...okay I don't...I may not get 30, 60, or even 100+ comments (I've topped out at like 11 whoo-hoo) but I have the best of friends and blog stalkers who read my blog and they comment, or I see them around and we laugh at my ridiculous overly dedicated obsession to blogging! hahaha!
Okay I'm getting off track...what I wanted to say is that I was feeling sorry for myself...and having a pity party, by myself, people tend not to want to join me...go figure...anyhow, I was having a Woe is Me moment and then I find this...on the recent earth quake in China:
and I instantly slap, 1-2 punch, and drop kick myself. What an ungrateful person I am...I am so ignorant...which to those of you who know me, know that I am okay with this. I don't like to dwell on sorrow and pain. let alone hear about it, so I don't DVR the news if you catch my drift...
I KNOW that there is life after this earth...that we are here to complete a test...that we will return to our Father in Heaven...I am grateful for this knowledge...
There is nothing like being reminded of what we have. Of being grateful for our family...my husband reminded me that these parents and families in China who lost a child would be grieving their ONLY child because they are restricted on the amount of children they can have!
WOW...This is why I remain ignorant, it hurts my heart and feels me with remorse when I hear about things like this...for one who likes to remain light and upbeat, this is always an unwelcomed feeling...but on the other hand, on some days it's good to remember...like the other day at my pity party...these images and this news, were a buzz kill for my party, thank goodness it ended early!
It also reminded me to remain on a path in life that, when I am taken from this earth, I am ready to meet my Father in Heaven! I have recently had one of those ah-ha moments...where something you have heard many times finally clicks.
I have heard so many times...An hour up in heaven is equal to a thousand years on Earth. I started thinking, which is really dangerous, We live on average, what? 75 years. So we are gone from HIM (Our Father in Heaven) for...ummm...what? 5 minutes...maybe 10? I don't want to not be prepared if an earth quake comes along and takes me to meet HIM and HE says, "What? You couldn't be good for 5 minutes Shelle?" and then get the LOOK...the one I give my kids when I say the same thing to them! I want to be ready...I want to be better...I want to be like those of you who I look to as examples of what I want to become!
That's it...something different than I usually post...but like I said I use this blog not only for journaling and humor but also for Therapy! I yinged and I yanged about posting my feelings, which is why it is so last week news...but Wow...I feel better, thanks for listening!
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I'm getting a dry spell of emails coming in about funny kids...I know you have them in your own home or know someone who does...or saw some at the local grocery store...
Have a funny kid story or an ahhhh cute moment? Write it as a comment or email me at blokthoughts@gmail.com and I will post them. You can remain anonymous or I can link you in!
