Monday, August 31, 2009

To the Middle Aged Couple in the parking lot...

To the Middle Aged Couple strolling down the middle of the parking lot:

GGGGAAAAHHHH!!! WHY must you walk down the middle of the row of cars??!!??!! Walk on one side or the other so that those of us who are driving vehicles don't have the urge to teach you a lesson and bump your butt because you feel like you can take all the time in the world to walk to your car down the MIDDLE OF THE ROW OF CARS in the parking lot!!!

Do you not HEAR me behind you or at least my car?

Can you not FEEL the animosity shooting from every pore of my body???

I flipped you off in four different languages (in my mind because I do TRY to be a lady).

I know I pretend to KNOW about etiquette, but really I slink my way through it most of the time... I KNOW! GASP! You are shocked right??!!??

But it's true... I'm ashamed to say, I never attended an etiquette school, the closest thing I got to learning how to be a lady was when I tried out for our city pageant, and I spaced out on most of the lesson until we came to plucking our eyebrows, believe me when I tell you... it's DIFFICULT To space out when someone is picking at your UNIBROW!!! And A LOT embarrassing.


Wait... where was I? Oh yes, jerky jerks in the parking lot...

But
HONESTLY... SERIOUSLY... it's not Rocket Science here people.

There is a row of cars.

When walking your cart down to your car, or walking yourself into the store... PLEASE please please walk on either said of the row of cars... no need to be a prick and walk right in the middle of the lane.

Just saying...

Brought to you by Shelle's standard of etiquette.

Have a good Monday!

The winner for the Random Thought Amazon Gift card will be announced tomorrow... I need help deciding which one I liked best! So I'm forcing asking MSM to read them with me and help decide for FAMILY NIGHT! :)

Love,



P.S. SciFi Dad is Guest contributing and wrote about the first time he met his IN-LAWS over at Real World Venus vs. Mars today! You GUYS... it's SO funny! Go tell him what you think...

14 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I'm pretty sure etiquette says it's OK to run them over.

Bryce & Cortney Alvord said...

I agree with you! This drives me crazy. By the way we've never met. i found you from one of my friends blogs--not even sure who's blog BUT my MIL were in your hometown this weekend and we decided we needed to go to church on Sunday, so we got up nice and early and drove to the closest church to our hotel and YOU walked in and your cute family followed you shortly after. I was telling my husband this later and he said I was creepy, but I think it's fun!!! What a small world :)

Chief said...

I think I may have a chance of winning this...except you didn't even have the decency to fix my grammatical errors.

I can't believe that was you who flipped me off in the parking lot. AND I AM NOT MIDDLE AGED BIOTCH!

The Wixom Zoo said...

I'm there with you friend. I have moments where I want to "accidently" gun it in my Wal-Mart parkinglot. No worries, you're normal. At least according to Amy's standards. LOL!

Dirk said...

It's soo true!! I don't understand those people that just keep walking like it's no big deal! Move ova!

Barbaloot said...

You know four different languages for flipping off? Neat!

Cherie said...

Wow I want to flip people off in different languages - Cool! I'll have to start asking RM's how to do that! I'm sure I'll become the most popular person at church with the best reputation - ha ha.
You go girl - I am with you. Dumb people who can't "Move It Move it!!",.

April said...

And THAT is why I drive a stick shift car....so I can gun the motor and scare the middle of the road walkers crapless. No finger needed.

roy/elisabeth dean said...

Making a family decision on the best random thought is SOOOOOO much better than how we spent family night. We each cleaned a toilet. Roy ticked me off so he had to empty the litter box too! I think he fakes sick a lot so he can get out of things like Potty Night. I'm onto him~
♥,Lilly

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Kristina-that's what I thought, but didn't know FOR SURE. Now that you have confirmed it, then I'm okay with doing it! lol

Cortney--GIRL! Why didn't you say HI? I would have loved to meet you! It's okay if we have never met... it's not weird for me! What a coincidence! :)

Chief--You do have a good chance of winning it... you were very funny! lol I thought the grammatical errors gave it character! :)

Amy--I feel better, validated even!

Dirk--Seriously... MOOOOVVVVEEEE out of the way right? They just mozy like they have all day or something???

Barb--well really only TWO... but I've come up with some imaginative ones and I think somewhere they are probably obscene...

Cherie--Good plan... ask the RM's! hahahaha!

April--that's the thing! I need to take my pimpin van in because some belts off and you can HEAR me coming! I think they were doing it to spite me! Fo Real!

Lilly--I think you are on to something also... but really, I don't blame him! YUCK!

Shawn said...

OOooooo, and what about the bicylists that ride down the middle of the street---slowly----what do they think they are---a car? eeeerrrrhhhh!

Youngblood4ever said...

You've seen Fried Green Tomatoes? Always makes me think of "I'm older, and I have more insurance." Just think, if you are too mean that old jerky jerk granny is going to watch where you park and ram your car. Just a thought. Sometimes fear is my only motivator to be nice.

Just Jules said...

don't you just wish you could "bump" them give them a little "nudge" with your bumper... kinda like nascar racers?

Angela Williams Duea said...

I've had the urge to bump folks too, but usually a little tap on the horn will encourage them to move. It saves me a lot of frustration that ruins my day.

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