Friday, August 28, 2009

THoughts Friday Random-Giveaway edition!

I know I know I keep mentioning Twitter. But for someone like me who loves to laugh, if you follow the right people, you can be laughing all day long! No joke!

Someone told me the other day after one of my tweets that I should be a motivational speaker!

OMGosh how did they KNOW that that was my life dream??? CRAZY!!!

So I was all sorts of flattered and thought I would share some of my twitter knowledge with you and then share some of the twitter names of those people that pretty much make me laugh on a daily basis with their tweets!

So what I'm saying is... don't twitter, it's of the devil, you'll HATE it.

What? ME use reverse psychology? You're trippin right now... I'd NEVER stoop so low! :)

My TWITTER BITS of KNOWLEDGE in which NONE of them are motivational or knowledgeable:

"A girl walked into the bathroom humming, should I say, nicely "excuse me, could u keep it down? I'm on the phone?" and see what she does :)

Sometimes I like to drive right on the side of another car and make my own roadblock just to prove a point that I am all powerful!

Have u ever been @ a stoplight and had the urge to slightly bumped the car in front of u and yell,"Bumper Car Tag! UR it!"...me neither

I'm listening to that song, "Indian Outlaw" by Tim McGraw makes me want to spit! Gasp! I know I'm such a rebel...

I ponder sometimes about the fact that if the world really DID revolve around me that everyone would be a lot happier! True story! :)

I like to run around and splash water all over my face so that when my hubs gets home he won't suspect I've been on the computer too long!

Why start ur day by saying"todays going 2 b a good day"? Sets urself up 4 failure! Start by saying"todays going 2 suck!" only up from there!

Isn't it my duty to call a guy a sissy if he sneezes like a girl? Or better yet that he sneezes cuter than me?

I have to hurry but they r making me get naked from the waste up for my facial!!! Is this normal? Gotta go they're coming!

After facial:

All of that and all they did was massage my face... I'm kind of disappointed!"

***I wonder about that person that feels I should be a motivational speaker... but everyone their own, right? lol!

Okay here are some of my favorite tweeters!

@sween example of a series of his tweets: "I like to make fun of orphans because their threats to tell on me are so adorably empty.

I'm kidding! I don't tease orphans. They're beneath me. Literally. They're really short. From malnutrition. ADORABLE malnutrition.

Seriously though ― orphans are sad. Tee-hee.

Come on, orphans! I'm just fooling with ya! Ya know I love ya! Who wants to get deloused? Yeah, I thought so. *Everyone* love delousing!

Thank goodness orphans have those cute little consumptive coughs so they can't sneak up on you. Orphans make horrible ninjas.

No orphans were harmed in the making of these tweets. Except wee Bartleby. Donations in lieu of flowers."

@DrZibbs some tweets of his:
"Whenever I see someone with like 30 followers I'm like, "What a nobody"...unless it's YOU of course.

if i had a legit massage parlor the tagline would be ... sad endings only.

I might have some of my best tweets embroidered onto pillows. Just so it's not too gay I'll man things up by filling the pillows with rocks"

One more @FatherKelly some of his tweets:
"Just got a call requesting that I bless a parakeet. I'm not making this up. I told them a 5th of scotch was usual payment. They bought it.

Sometimes in the confessional box I'll say, "You did what?! I don't believe you. Bring pictures to prove it". Some of them actually do.

My vampire fighting class starts in 15 minutes. Love the class but the instructor is a SUCH a know-it-all dick!

They say you can't throw a stick around priests w/out hitting a gay. So I throw a stick and I hit Father Brennan right in the nuts. Irony."

Okay last thing... the best thing about going to New York is they allow their Mentally Ill to go out and perform on time square! They say they are "magicians" and the thing is people WATCH and THROW MONEY at them they actually BUY it! But I know different so I just take a picture! :)


I mean what magician uses a old Halloween candy pumpkin bucket??? A real magician would have use a black floating TOP HAT... DUH!

So YOUR turn... put your Random Thought in the comment box!!! The person with the BEST Random Thought today gets a $10.00 Amazon Gift Card! If you are a tweeter... TWEET this AWESOME giveaway! lol!

I'm serious though, the person that makes ME LOL the most... wins!

Love,



P.S. Sage is talking flirting over at Real World Venus vs. Mars today... he has a thwarted sense of it all but go check it out anyway! :)

51 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Twitter is of the devil!!

Barbaloot said...

I'm with Kristina. I refuse to give in.

As far as random goes...I turned into a middle-aged woman over night. My car radio has been set to the AM station, I have a recently discovered love for Barry Manilow and I ate a small bag of prunes.

Dr Zibbs said...

Why thank you!

roy/elisabeth dean said...

My lovebirds(Diddy and Nelly) tweet so I gave it up

T said...

my boss asked me the other day if I tweeted... apparently I need to start????

I'm not sure I want her knowing ALL of my Random thoughts - isn't it bad enough that she already sees my facebook updates and has access to the crazy blogs???

wait - that wasn't random enough... sorry, I found out today that McD's carries my light Lemonade (that I'd only been able to rely on Wendy's for...) - and so did the rest of the office since I think the carpet path between my desk and the restroom is being more completely trodden as a result.

The Wixom Zoo said...

Sometimes I have a random thought of violence and then play it out in my mind to see where it could go. Then I realize that I really shouldn't use my son's unusually high prescription glasses to try to fry ants on the sidewalk...I have to be the GOOD example, right?

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Kristina and Barb--You KNOW both of you would be AWeSOME twitter-ers!!! Just saying...

DrZibbs... why YOUR Welcome... but after reading your blog post today... you're a BRAT!

Lilly-- lol... they do? are they funny? That is the question!

T-"sorry, I found out today that McD's carries my light Lemonade (that I'd only been able to rely on Wendy's for...) - and so did the rest of the office since I think the carpet path between my desk and the restroom is being more completely trodden as a result." I love that lemonade also... you don't feel like you are slurping down sugar syrup... as much!

Wixom--I thought you were going somewhere TOTALLY different with that one! lol! :)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Where oh WHERE is all my Random Thought commenters???

Hello?

Is this thing on?

I'll feel like a loser if you guys don't start commenting... don't make my family suffer because of your selfishness!

HA! That would be a good tweet!

Devri said...

random, did you say random....

I have had like 9 chocolate puddings today, and each one just make my freakin' butt a tad bigger!

I also feel like sending the White house a doggy bag.. (brown bag with poop in it) because (by them I am a racist, and a mobster).

I watched my 2 year old son play with scissors, in hopes he would chop off his girly hair!

Just Jules said...

Oh... I will be back as soon as I wake from the nap of the dead.... still working on the coffee to spark the brain. hmmm when is the deadline?

coolred38 said...

If nobody sees me sneak a giant chocolate chip cookie and cram it down my throat and swallow while barely chewing it just to get it down before someone comes...do the calories still count?

Just Jules said...

Ok I am here - and my brain is at about 20% this is the best I have.

how did the people of the past come up with our food? Who found a potato and decided to eat it, cook it and eat it- it tastes better. Or coffee - who would know to take that bean roast it and then crush it and run boiling water through it????? How oh how did they do it?

Just Jules said...

Why does the post office continue to raise it's rates while the PostMaster makes millions - for doing what?

Just Jules said...

Why can't I still wrap my brain around how things like remote controls and wireless internet work and should I care?

Just Jules said...

Freakonimics is the best book... surprise :)

Just Jules said...

Why do all women seem to love cowboys? and bikers? and bad boys in general? yet we tend to marry the good guy?

Just Jules said...

how can underware fall down on the waist and creep up your crotch all at the same time?

Just Jules said...

I have seriously been thinking about the word verification and approval system of blogger after you guys mentioned it last time - thinking of doing a post on it!

Just Jules said...

our kids will never look back at our phots in awe as we do at our parent's old black and whites....

Just Jules said...

do you fold your socks and underwear when you fold laundry? I do.

Just Jules said...

Is inpatience contagious? I think so. (did I spell that right?)

Just Jules said...

I am so glad I had so much fun the 22nd year of my life. It makes nights like this bearable

Just Jules said...

There are so many things I did that I do not regret (although they did not make me an upright citizen) yet, it would make very bad parental advice.

Don't behave too much.
Go out to the bars.
Date lots and lots of men.
Let them kiss you in the alley.
etc.....

How do you function that as a parent?

Just Jules said...

I have two two slot toasters instead of a four slot cuz if one breaks ... ha! I am not out a toaster all together!

that is all for now.

Love ya

Just Jules said...

ok - just proof read - should have said photos in the earlier comment.

Now that means I have to do another random thought.... ummmmmmm

Did you know one of the side effects of aspertame is weight gain? ha! go figure. Google the side effects you won't drink it again!

Southern Sage said...

when deaf folks are in court is it called a signing?
I mean a hearing would be kinda rude right?

Southern Sage said...

the other day we had ham for supper, it was cured ham, reckon what it had before it was cured?

Southern Sage said...

it strikes me as odd when girls undress for the gyno he leaves the room??!?!?!?!!?

SciFi Dad said...

Sometimes it feels like I live in a movie, and 90% of the people I meet are extras whose sole job is to get in my way.

Southern Sage said...

if someone gives you a penny for your thoughts why do people "put their 2 cents in"? Damned Democrats. taxes for sure.

SciFi Dad said...

One day, a long time ago, a man told his wife, "You know, your legs look pretty nasty. Maybe you should shave that hair off." And then another man saw that first man's wife and told HIS wife the same thing. And so on.

I want to buy that first man a beer. Or a scotch. Or maybe a dancing monkey.

Southern Sage said...

Why do they tell assassins whole names? John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald?

Southern Sage said...

well on that note how dang famous do you have to be to be assassinated? I mean when isn't it just murder anymore?

Southern Sage said...

reckon what part of the chicken they make nuggets out of?

Chief said...

Just Jules is a total cheater! She knows I could never have that many thoughts in one day!

The only thought I have had all day is:

Why is it that whenever I have a "gaseous" day, my boss want to have a 4 hour, sit down meeting just the two of us, in my 100 square foot office? Can't we schedule these so that I know not to eat Fiber one for breakfast? My butt muscles STILL ache from squeezing my sphincter!

That's all I got

Just Jules said...

Oh Chief has no idea how random I am ;) although that hurts - been there :)

My great grandma used to say cold hands = warm heart.... hmmmm do you get that?

ZenMom said...

Random confession: I can't see those stupid "magic picture" stereogram thingamawhatsis. I think you all are making them up.

wendy said...

10 Bucks for a Random thought --that would actually make it about $10.40 here in Canada as the US $ is worth more!!! So I stand to WIN more. couple of things --Where did you go for your facial, I wanna go there. (TEE.HEE)I went for a pedicure once, and they put my legs in stirrups --KIDDING!!!

Cherie said...

Hi I am not a tweete....OH CRAP!! I'll be back I just spilled a milkshake all over myself!!!

Shawn said...

My life is always accompanied by a soundtrack. I love movies and I love music, so I find that I can get through each day better when it is put to music.

Shawn said...

And I don't tweet either. I am much more humorous when I am in front of an audience.

And I refuse to pretend that my dust bunnies are listening....

April said...

Hellooooo! Did you not see my recent post? I can't remember my name let alone begin to tweet!

Homer and Queen said...

Tweet? NEVER!!!! I'm with April!

val of the south said...

Shelle - you are the queen of random!!

John Deere Mom said...

Do I have a drinking problem if I blend my daiquiri with my left hand while drinking wine with my right?

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I can't think of anything to say. I start to write something and it just comes out lame.

So you get this lame comment. Lucky aren't you? ;)

Southern Sage said...

Sometimes people over think things aand get the wrong impression! They should ask before they decide!!!

Amber Lynae said...

Would you be embarrassed if you found out your gyno could read your mind?

Amber Lynae said...

At what age do children stop believing you when you blame farts on random no existent animals (ie. barking spiders, the moose out back, or the duck)?

Amber Lynae said...

In America we have Dr. Suess's "Are you my mother", a book about a small animal trying to find out which animal is its mom. The French have a book about a mole, who got it's head pooped on, and goes around asking all the animals if they pooped on his head.


I guess my head is in the potty... don't flush please.

Amber Lynae said...

The sun is like a light bulb to the earth.

Here you Go SciFi Dad

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