Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I've figured out the WIT behind THE blog

***UPDATE: This story is TOTALLY fictitious for all of you that Googled CTD and found my site. She is a REAL girl...but sometimes her nose grows when she lies! :) Okay I kid...Crash is a real person, just wanted to get that straight!

Well I've figured it out...Crash Test Dummy's site is totally fictitious. Well I know you KNOW that when you read it...because she always enhances the truth for a good laugh...but I've kind of had this feeling that there just was something SNEAKY about it ya know?

She is continually witty...and continually coming up with stuff that boggles the mind.

So this is what it comes down to...and she can correct me if I'm wrong...and Alyson, Old Boat Guy, and the Nutty Hamster Chick can confer, or just humor me if you feel even remotely feel like I do...I think her blog is ONE BIG creative writing assignment. I believe she started it with one of her classes.

Each week she has her students turn in creative writing assignments to post on her blog so THERE is where she gets all of her material...she has a few rules like the paper has to be relate-able to a Mom who is Mormon and happens to be a Professor-who freakishly likes Twilight the movie...

Then she contacted an old friend from college or high school like the Funny Farm and had her PIMP her out and tell how COOL she was so people such as myself would wander over to her blog only to be wrapped into it and feel a part of a group or clique, so to speak...

and then they sit back and see how many people get wrapped up into this blog...

which is really a CLASS blog posing as a Professor of Literature or Creative Writing/Mom blog.

Then not only do I read and laugh at EVERY post...(I could also be witty if I had young fresh minds filling me with witty creative papers...just saying) but we also have full on conversations in her comments section...and so I have, for the first time, started following the comments because I don't want to miss out on the comments/conversation party over at the DUMMY site. Ya know?

I mean she calls me her TWIN...which means I look like a DUMMY, and I'm not sure if I should take offense to that?...

Okay you're right...I'm okay with that because I love the camaraderie and the feeling of being involved in a clique or group, and most people that read her are also very funny writers like Navel Gazing at it's Finest and Seriously So Blessed...and Annie who pathetically is selling really cool Stupid Vampire Shirts...that are not EVEN stupid but way creative!

Then since I'm her twin, I have conversations with some unknown distant cousin Art-n-Sewl that I don't even know about but love her wit. It's like one big happy family at her blog.

Even in Crash's witty posts she also posts about NEW FOLLOWERS so that they can feel included also! She must split the class up into groups...one for posts, one for comments, and one for following up on followers!

Ya know those Word Verifiers that MOST OF US Hate?

Well she has made sort of a joke of it all and she asked us to come up with humorous meanings to what the words mean...so she has a word verifier on her blog...but I look forward to what meaning I can come up with the word it wants me to verify!

So in honor of totally figuring out the wit behind her blog...

and pretty much thanking her for making me somewhat of a student of hers because I am always trying to one up the person before me in her comments...

and making me feel a part of a group/family...

and I invite anyone else (Especially if you are from PROVO) to come join the group and fun!

But in MY comments section...

That's right...

All of that to tell you to feel free to read others comments and have a conversation with them...make jokes...let loose...BE FREE!!!

Love

Shelle

P.S. I think I am going to do a community creative writing class and have people turn in blog posts for me...just so I can keep up with the DUMMY'S!!!

P.P.S. I'm sorry but I just couldn't help it...I LOVE when kids aren't paying attention when I'm poking a camera in their faces!!!



68 comments:

Alyson (New England Living) said...

By George, I think she's got it! You're on to something here. Now I feel violated, like I'm relating to one person and it's all a big joke. So Sue wasn't the first one to do the fake blog!

My only hope is that Wolfgang is involved somehow.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Seriously, the Dummy is awesome, though. Yay for my favorite dummy!

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Ok, now I'm just cramming your comment box (you're welcome), but I just had to point out that I was also adopted as a cousin by the dummy, thank you very much! Yeah, I know. It was only done to make me feel a part of the cool group, but still...

Kristina P. said...

I sort of want to punch the Dummy in the head sometimes, just to see what falls out.

I love her.

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

HAHAHA- I love that you included me in your cool or cewl post ;)

Crash is just the smartest and wittiest person I know. I love that girl, and dude- she is just a super duper talented writer, comedian and woman in general. I don't know how she does it all. I think she must be on mormon crack or something. She rocks.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee hee.

I'm just going to sit here and see what everyone says about me before I stick up for myself.

I'm particulary waiting to see what the funny farmer says. I might have to wait here in case I have to punch her in the face. You know we're fasting and praying that we'll be wicked step-sisters soon.

Kritta22 said...

This is totally weird and I'm so confused! Who am I sending the quilt too?! Crash, tell us!
Seriously So blessed is a fake blog making fun of us Mormon bloggers, but all in good fun. On her sidebar, it has articles of the actual author. I have commented on her posts twice about something to do with her real life, or something of the sort and both have been deleted.
I don't know what to think anymore. Are you real? Is anyone else out there fake?

Kritta22 said...

How would one person keep following your blog though and commenting with twin stuff. Does she give the passwords out to the whole class?

Kritta22 said...

Who's Wolfgang, Alyson?

Kritta22 said...

Did you try google her? I'm going right now...be back!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Wait! There are articles of the actual author on her sidebar? WHO WHO WHO is it?

Okay, I confess. I make fun of us crazy bored Mormon Mommy bloggers fo' real. I'm not faking. Finding out about the real me is just a mouse click away for anyone who puts in a little extra effort. Shelle is my facebook friend. She's knows I'm not a fake. She just wants to keep that quilt for herself.

Kritta22 I can't wait to see the quilt. And 22 is my 2nd favorite number. My husband's first favorite number.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I'm waiting for Kritta to come back to see what she came up with when she googled me.

Kritta22 said...

Did you know that there is a band called Crash Test Dummies?
Nothing else on the first couple pages. I'm sooo interested to see what happens!

Kritta22 said...

Oh she can't keep the quilt for herself...she was waiting for your address to mail it to you.

Kritta22 said...

I was going to mail it directly to you. It's still sitting by my sewing machine.

Kritta22 said...

Now I'm waiting for Crashto come back and reply. She is probably looking at TAMN's blog.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH!!!!!! I was totally looking at TAMN's Blog! ha ha ha You're like psychic. I was trying to dig into TAMN's real identity. She's only 25 and she's a mom getting her Master's degree. HOW CUTE IS THAT?

If I were a fake I wouldn't say my age was 40 somethin' somethin'.

And I sent Shelle my address today after she FINALLY sent me her address so I can send her some caramacs. If I didn't really live in Hawaii I wouldn't send Caramacs.

Caramacs are in the mail tomorrow Shelle and Alyson. I've already purchased them and now I'm done grading all my papers so that's why I'm blogging my brains out tonight.

Kritta I'll send you caramacs too since you made me a quilt.

Kritta22 said...

What are caramacs??
I'm so excited to be a part of the in crowd.

I tried finding you on facebook....no luck so far.

Kritta22 said...

'grading all your papers' huh? You mean pre-posting your posts for your blog?! Is that what you really mean!?

Kritta22 said...

My 22 is because when I made my hotmail account way back when I was dating a boy, who wrestled the weight 122lbs. It isn't my favorite number. 37 and 73 are.
I tried changing it once but the other numbers were taking. So Kritta22 it is.
Why Crash Test Dummy?

Kritta22 said...

I forgot to say that that was way back when I weighed less than 122lbs...like junior high. Actually my freshman year I think.
I have a rule to not date, or even like at boys/men that don't weigh more than me.

Kritta22 said...

You totally don't have to send me caramacs. I'm sending you a quilt because you won DOn't you hate it when.
Not that I don't want whatever they are. I love getting mail that isn't bills! I'm just saying..it's totally cool not to send anything. The quilt was cuz you done good.

(Does that make your little professor head hurt...that last sentence?)

Kritta22 said...

I just re read that last comment....I was kidding. It wasn't 'pose to be mean. Now re-read it.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee. Since everyone else in the world is asleep right now, let's just chat it up in Shelle's comment box. She said we could. Practically begged us to.

Shelle? Do you have any Moutain Dew or Cheetos?

22 was my husband's basketball number when he was in college. And when you checked Facebook, did you look under Crash Test Dummy? Cause I'm not listed under that name. DUH!

Caramacs are chocolate covered macademia nuts. Soooo YUM-O

Kritta22 said...

No I didn't check Crash Test Dummy. I was actually looking for Shelle first. I thought I was her friend but I guess not. I really just browsed my friends box.

Caramacs sound wonderful!
Have you ever had moose poop?

Kritta22 said...

I know, it's only 10pm here. It's 9 there, right?!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Just put a return address on your quilt and I'll wish you a merry caramac Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas. I still have 5 slideshows to make for the elementary school Christmas program tomorrow so I better stop blogging my brains out.

NIGHT Kritta22.

Can't wait to hear what Funny Farmer says about me.

I already know what Swirl will say. She'll say I'm a hermit. It's true, even though I live in a townhouse, which is alot like living in a tent at the beach, but I won't deny it publically, only via email.

Kritta22 said...

LOL You are too funny!
Good night, Crash! Thanks for chatting!!

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Kritta, you don't know Wolfgang?! You must get on the (dummy) ball! He's a crazy Austrian student the dummy has in her class. He is often featured in her crazy blog.

Oh, and I know the dummy is a real person as well, since she's my friend on facebook too.

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

Hey- Crash- if you are doling out caramacs send some this way :) J/K you don't have to. I guess you only give them to your bffs. I got it, I see where I stand. :)

People...Crash is the real deal. Loved the info on Seriously so blessed. She is a mom, that is cute.

I've got laundry out the ying yang. I'm audi :)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Whatever DUMMY and ALYSON...I know U are totally fake...except on facebook, where you are real! :)

Kritta meet Crash...Crash Meet Kritta!

And Kritta I haven't sent you my REAL name yet? I will via email, my apologies...you are totally my friend! :)

I can't wait for the Caramacs...to be honest, didn't know the were called that...but now I do I'm totally going to be walking around telling everybody that I have caramacs coming in the mail soon!

Do you think there will be a line at my mailbox everyday until they come...like Black Friday's and Target?

I wonder?

Melanie J said...

I've never been here before and I have no idea why. Something is obviously wrong with me.

I'd say a whole lot more but I'm dizzy from trying to keep up with the comment stream.

I'll just say that CTD is one of my favorite places to hang out and I told her that to her (virtual) face, so good for you that you spotlighted her. Shows you have excellent taste.

Pat said...

Shelle, please don't burst my bubble. I love thinking that Crash Test Dummy is real and that I am a part of a cool fun clique. I love the fun clique you have also. Since I found CTD my blog life has not been the same.
And I love that you called me Nutty Hamster Chick. That is way cool, maybe I should change my profile name to that.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Melanie-welcome...its messy over here but I try to have fun...games set out and centers for all who want to participate.

Nutty Hamster Chick--totally change your name but I get all the royalities! You know I'm just envious that you look so good now!!!

Oh and I do hate bursting peoples bubble but the truth hurts...except for facebook!

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

I wanted to stop by and remind you that the deadline to ship the Secret Santa Gift is December 10th. Please send Georgie or I a email amydoo @ sbcglobal . net and give us the Delivery Confirmation Number. Gifts are being received as we speak so you can check out the posts on our blogs to see the latest. If you have received a SSS gift please leave either of us a comment and just write received in it somewhere.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I can't believe Amy Amy Bo Bamey just crashed my party with her boring beeswax and didn't even say SURPRISE!

Caramacs are on th way Sewl! Cause you're my favorite cousin (besides Mary and Ben. Well not Ben anymore since he didn't show up for Thanksgiving.)

I forgot to mention Caramacs have caramel too.

I'm going to follow these comments! ;)

Eliza said...

Fun, fun, fun! You gals (fake or real) make my day! :)

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Crap, Shelle! You figured out that I am only real on facebook. How did you know? You are one brilliant crash twinner!

SWIRL said...

Suprise!
Weren't we suppose to yell that out some where? at some time?

I can testify, with every fiber of my being and with actual- tangible proof crash is a real person.

She was at my birthday party and made me a dumb-dumb cake.

But I know what you mean- it is hard to know sometimes who is real and who is fake and why are people being fake when wouldn't it just be easier to be real?
Or... am I really just naturally fake?

I'm trying to keep it real.
But maybe that is why I only get one or two comments on my blog daily- instead of 25-30. No one wants to know about my real- day in day out life.
:0)

Pat said...

I agree swirl, I don't know how not to be real either. Sometimes I wish I did, because that might be more entertaining. On the other hand, I seem to lead the kind of life that is constantly filled with crazy happenings. Just not lately.

Anjeny said...

Hi Shelle,
First time to comment in your comment box, I love your blog btw. I was gonna say I stalked Crash over here but that would kinda sound dummy-ish so I'll just settle with saying I stumble upon your blog.
Crash is real but I think you really are on to something..I think that Austrian Wolfgang may have written some of her crazy blogs too, been kinda suspicious about it but glad someone's confirmed some of that.
Now Crash, whatya gotta say for yourself?

Anjeny said...

Oh Crash, I see the school stuck you with the slideshow for the program tonight, eh? I can't wait to see it.

The Wixom Zoo said...

Okay...SURPRISE Crash! I'm a lurker over at CTD. Actually, I think I left a comment once. Crash cracks me up - I don't care if she's real or fake or if Wolfgang writes half of her posts as long as I get a laugh out of them. I'm all for cheap entertainment...

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hi Everyone! Thanks for the surprise! I've never been so surprised in my life.

The biggest surprise is that the funny farmer hasn't stopped by to knock me around. She's usually such a dependable wicked stepsista.

Look at cute Wixom Zoo's profile pic. I would so love to have a picture of a gorilla on my sidebar. I finally got the picture of a snowman on my sidebar.

Thank you Swirl for bearing your testimony of me. I almost had to pull out a kleenex. And Anjeny, I miss you. Where have you been? Yes, I'm doing the slideshow for the program tonight, but I just returned from the dress rehearsal and I have to rearrange it all, so I can't stay too long at the party. Gotta grab a handful of cheetos and run.

Have fun surprising me!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Shelle, I totally took your advice. Be sure to still notice me now that my signature has changed.
And I will be sure to send all the royalties to you. But I think mostly you would get paid by the smile this has put on my face.
Thanks again.

Susan said...

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO confused!!!! Real or not, I laugh all the time there, so thank you Crash Test Dummy!!!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Okay okay she is real...all real...at least that is what SWIRL said in her testimony, and you can't lie in a testimony because you would go to hell if you did. Hell the place, not the swear word.

NOw that that is cleared up and the cheetos are all gone...I'm going to run upstairs and make BLOG CARAMEL POPCORN...

It's good to know about the slide show and stuff...thanks Crash and Anjeny for letting me in on the in.

Crazy Hamster Chick...a smile is good enough :)

Susan...I think you should comment more because I love your profile picture...I think it is cute!

Wixom ZOO was my friend first, Crash, and I have a personal invite to her blog after she went PRIVATE so that means I'm somebody...okay!

Mariko said...

I've been in college creative classes. There is no way they are smart enough to write like Crash. Usually the writing is terrible, and like I said, I've been in them.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Good one Mariko, and probably right on the money. That proves she is real, just like Santa.

Kritta22 said...

Applesauce and Cheetos? Dude, I'm thinking that's totally wrong but I'm gonna have to try it.
Have you tried French fries and Frosty's at Wendy's? I'm sure you have. Do you dip your grilled cheese in ketchup?
These are the important things in life.

Kritta22 said...

Shelle, did you send out your SSS stuff? I am going over to Georgie's site after this to check and see what everyone got. This is so fun!

Kritta22 said...

I'm going to have to go check out Alyson cuz she cracks me up!!

Kritta22 said...

I should stalk your friends more often...they are wonderful!

So we, alyson and I, decided, in her comment box that we need to have a Blokthought follower meet/greet.

Crash-when do you think you could come on the main land?

I'm headed to the 'lower 48' in August. Do you guys wanna plan something? I'm totally serious!

Kritta22 said...

Ok I'm off to find out what other SSS people got for Christmas...following the comments.

Crash- you gotta be done with that program now! Come play with us!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hi Kritta, hee hee. I just kicked everyone out of my comment box and told them I was going to bed. Then I snuck over here to play.

I hope there is some applesauce and cheetos left. YUCK!!! Shelle, you're kidding, right Ewwww. But fries and frosties are good.

YES, let's have a meet and greet. And have Shelle take photos. When in August? We were thinking of coming in July, MAYBE, if I can make a million dollars before then. It would be so awesome to meet Alyson and Lisa and you guys. Kritta, isn't Alyson super RAD! I love her. You gotta meet Sewl/Emily, my cousin. Art-n-Sewl.

Mariko, how sweeeeeet. That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. And PAT, you nutty hamster chick. Real like Santa. ROFLOL! (Not in a disrespectful to the teacher way.)

Shelle, where's that caramel popcorn you made? Am I too late?

Kritta22 said...

Are you still 'kicking' it around here? I missed the caramel popcorn too...so I made some kettle corn I had stashed!

Kritta22 said...

K so I decided that you chicks don't exist. I have been looking on facebook, every stinkin way I know how. I must be missing something.

Kritta22 said...

I am thinking about deleting my myspace. It's kinda just drama, ya know. I thought about doing the same with facebook too. I don't know if I like everyone's cousin's dog's best friend reading if I love Edward or not.

Kritta22 said...

Edward- you know I totally do love you. (But you aren't Cedric from Harry Potter in my eyes...you are Josh groban...yum!)

Kritta22 said...

Are you ever going to public humilate the mean people?? We should shun them.

Kritta22 said...

Did you guys know/remember that it was Shelle that got me hooked on Twilight?! Yup it's her fault.

Kritta22 said...

K kids I think I'm headed off to bed....unless Crash replies in the next few minutes. I have to work on a quilt tomorrow.

Aubrey said...

Go ahead and call me a dummy because...I have never been over to that blog! Eeek! Sounds like I'm missing out on some good laughs!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Aubrey, I'm going to go ahead and call you dummy.

What? She told me to.

And here's a personal invite to come on over.

And Kritta? Who the HECK were you talking to last night? What the? Was Edward in here with you? Or Cedric? And who are all the mean people? Do tell so I can shun them too.

I wish I hadn't fallen into bed exhausted last night. I coulda hada front row seat to Kritta losing her mind.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Oh Kritta hasn't lost her mind she just gets giddy with excitement when someone is close to the same time zone as her!!!

Aubrey...CTD is the new Stephenie Meyer for blogs...except on facebook where she is a real person! :)

Dopp Family said...

Shelle... you are genious!! I have to be very attentive when reading your blog as there's wit all over the place! This post was ingenious though... good thinkin'!

Nan said...

My eyes are tired, my head is dizzy, my nerves are wired, I'm in a tizzy.

I've read every comment, my cheeks still hurt, my sides feel as if they'll burst.

In summary it comes down to learning, Crash is REAL, it's sooooo.... discerning.

An insight into an understanding, I'll never have a blog as witty with humor that creates a friendship with it's banding.

Way to go you all, I envy your style, I need to visit every once in awhile, knowing if I tried to duplicate, it'd be fake, [I'm now craving fries and frosty shakes.]

In comparison, my blog is boring, if you visit you might leave it snoring! If that happens to fix your fate, visit here, and return to an awake state.

Now I will leave you with a fond farewell, in other words, you guys are SWELL!

Martha said...

Is Crash real? Well, she used to be. But, ever since she started her blog things have definitely changed. Her face is no longer seen outside chatting with the neighbors. She arrives just in the nick of time to her kids' tennis matches. She sneaks home during sunday school.

What is she doing?

She's apparently not cleaning her house. I only hear her car start up two minutes before her class is starting and I see her driving away speedy quick.

Yes, I remember the days when she used to be real. Before the CTD was even a thought.

Please Crash, come back to reality, please before it's too late.

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