Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Vegas and Dicks... restaurant.

People who don't know me, and to be honest, who are not of my faith... have a hard time believing that Las Vegas isn't all that cool of a place to me.

But it's true.

It's because I have lived close to it practically all my life and it has lost its appeal, if it ever had one for me, probably because A)I don't have enough money, or, B) I won't participate in the "naughty" of it.

Let me tick off a list of things I don't do while in Vegas:

Drink alcoholic beverages
Go to Strip clubs or anything remotely related to that.
Stay up past 10pm unless I'm watching a movie or editing photos.

List of things I will do in Vegas:

Ride Rollercoasters--only the older I get the more I feel like vomiting after riding the thrill based rides. And there are only so many to ride before it gets boring.
Go to Cirque Shows
Off Broadway Shows
Comedy Clubs (I'm picky)
Bull Riding
Dance Conventions
Photography Conventions
Trekky Conventions (Okay, I don't really go to those)
I use to go to Wet N' Wild a lot until it closed...

As you can see I have a lot of reasons to GO to Vegas and Enjoy it, the only thing is it's smelly--and dirty. After I come home from there I have to wash my clothes like 5 times before the light scent of cigarette smoke and butt are washed out.

But, if someone says, "Hey Shelle, I'll be in Vegas this date, do you want to go/meet up/shop?" I'm there in a heart beat. So it's more of a love/hate kind of thing.

All of that to tell you that we heard about this restaurant called, "Dicks", from some friends of ours. They LOVED it. According to my husband, they were crying laughing as they told him of their experience there. So since then, we have wanted to try it.

Basically, you can be "dicks" to them and they can be "dicks" to you. (Pardon my crass language-I know a lady would never choose those words, but it needs to be said to fully explain).

So we gather up some peeps my Brother (Whose lost a whole person-and his wife) and my Hot Pregnant Sister (and her husband) to go with us. We get to the restaurant and have to wait. As we waited we were entertained by a "gogo dancer" who was throwing out beads. I told hubs to go dance for some beads but he was to much of a pansy. Let's just say she knew how to move her back assets. I usually have to hold my breath in intervals until I get use to the smoke/butt crack smell. Luckily before our names were yelled out I had accustomed myself to the smell. That was until a group of drunk men acting like boys came along and reaked of B.O. mixed with way too much cologne.

Our name was called and we tromped in after our hostess or we tried to follow, she lost us halfway to our table as we slipped on trash (napkins) littering the floor, but we all made it and sat down. I stared at everything. The drunk birthday girl taking pictures with all the guy tables around her and feeling up their bums. The 19 year old girls all too skinny and blonde and in super tight black dresses. The waiters yelling out words that I was to naive to understand. There was so much going on.

Finally our waitress comes over to our table, leans in and shows her bounteous cleavage and asks, "What can I get you to drink, HURRY!, What do you want to DRINK!!!?" In a fit of pressure I yell out, "Water on the rocks!" She stands up and places a hand on her hip as she sinks into it and says, "Water? Well you're boring." (she then proceeds to roll her eyes).  Then she leans back down and slightly smiles as she looks to my husband, "And you?... Please don't be as boring as her." He says, "Coke?" She says, "Pepsi" he just smiles and says,"That'll do." She gives another sweet smile to him and moves on to my SIL. Brave girl says, "Waters for the rest of us!" (all chipper and happy like) And with that our waitress throws her pen and napkin she was taking the order on and walks away disgusted as she mutters, "you a#$holes are boring".  We all laughed that boisterous laugh... and then that awkward laugh... and then that... what just happened laugh... before we stopped laughing all together.

I don't blame her. We were boring. But who cares what they think!? You got to go in there expecting the harassment.

She did come eventually with our drinks, threw our napkins at us, threw our straws at us and stomped back off. And from that point on we were like a black hole in the restaurant. It's like we could see everyone, but know one could see us. Funny isn't it? I got to stare to my hearts content and nobody cared. It was sweet. I had a blast.

Our waitress would come around and ask us how things were... not nicely at all... she did her job well--and would tossle (more like pull a chunk of strands out as she walked by) our hair and continue to say we were boring. I just batted my eyes as I slurped up my water on the rocks and judged everyone around me. Hey! I can do that... don't even tell me you wouldn't be doing it also.

Anyway, they also write on these chef looking hats really crude things... here's mine:

Awesome right? How did they know? I kid I kid... honey... sweetheart... I KID! ;) (I immediately took it off after we snapped the picture... cross my heart and, well, you know the rest)

After a walk on the strip, some pictures were taken (which are featured below), we decided to head for home because we KNOW how to party like it's 1999 and you guys are totally jealous!

That is my reinactment of a certain type of tourist.  You either get it or you don't.

Yes I'm hiding behind the pregnant girl... it's fair!

So let me just say... you want to meet in Vegas? I'll be your designated driver... that way I have an excuse to drink my blessed water on the rocks!

Anybody have a crazier Vegas story then MINE!? I highly doubt it, but you can give it a go. I may just twitter it if it's twitter worthy.

Oh BTW, the food sucked at DICK's Last Resort Restaurant.  So don't actually go there unless you like to drink but not eat.

Your. Welcome.



P.S. Check out what Real World has going on!


Gucci Mama said...

Oh, I so want to go there next time I'm in Vegas!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

You would be in Hog Heaven!!!

(and NO that was not a fat joke)

Kristina P. said...

We are coming down to Vegas to meet up with DeNae, on Thursday. Although, as much as I love jokes about orgasms, I don't know if this is my kind of place.

Meeko Fabulous said...

Dicks sounds like a good time! :) Where in Vegas is it located? I'll be there in July! I might wanna talk the gang into going there.

615sWife said...

I am going to Vegas in 7 weeks for the first time with my two best friends and I think we may have to check it out!

T said...

Hmmm... this might even top my cross dresser in the toilet stall story. The short version? I decided to hold it until we got a little further from Sin City.

SciFi Dad said...

Wow... I think a vasectomy would be more exciting than visiting Vegas with you.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Ok all ya'll, I can hear the "I'm going to Vegas" part, yet no INVITES!? Wthelk is that all about!?

I promise I'll be fun!

Kristina- I doubt it's your place to hang either! I would say don't waste your mula there when you can just eat at your local gas stop, I'm sure the food is better! :) have fun whatever you and DeNae do!

Meeko- it's in the Excalibur! If you click on the big bold DICKS it will send you somewhere to get more info!

615-have so much fun!!! The first time is always a good time--even for boring peeps like me! ;)

T-actually- I think I need the long version!!!

SciFi- come on! If I tag a long then you'll never be THAT person again ;) I'm good for something. Your welcome :)

Danielle said...

Love it! You can def be the DD when I come!

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Um, yeah, I'll be avoiding that place like the plague! But since I hate Vegas, that shouldn't be a problem. ;)

I hate dicks! Hey, don't take that the wrong way. ;)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Danielle- that is why I have such love for you--you believe in me! DD it is!!! (And I know your not talking about my Double D's! Heh.)

Alyson-i get you. Not really my cup a tea either, but it IS the closest big city-so we deal! :) ha@the Dicks innuendo--clever ;)

Barbaloot said...

You left off the Belagio! Don't you love to go see the fountain show?

Morgan -Ing said...

The best thing that ever happened to me in Vegas (we lived there for almost 2 years) was seeing a man, a woman, and an chimp coming out of Sam's Club with a cart full of bananas. It was awesome.

wendy said...

Water on the Rocks???? SHELLE, you could have at least asked for a wedge of lemon. Come on girl
And I probably DO have a few Vegas stories for you...If I could only remember. (tee,hee)

The Urban Cowboy said...

First timer here, went to a Dick's in San Antonio, hilarious.

Anonymous said...

well I can see for sure Dicks just made the musts while in Vegas! I got 2 other things after viewing the pics.

That chick is WAY bred heavy and you have freakishly long fingers!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Barb you are right... I like the fountains also... thanks for reminding me.

Morgan-ing--okay I love that also... wish I could have seen it!

Wendy--DUH! The Wedge would have made all the difference! Dang, you should have been there with me.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Urban Cowboy--

Welcome Welcome! So good to see ya stop by. You probably got more out of it in San Antonio. Maybe I should try that one?

SS-HEY!!! So what if my fingers are freakishly long??? HELLO? Well, I've never had any complaints. You would be right at home in that restaurant I am betting. And my Hot PRegnant Sister IS well endowed--yes, and that is only enhanced by pregnancy :)

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