Monday, June 7, 2010

Finding my Niche... or not... or...

All through the blog conference, when I'd sneak in to snatch a picture of the speakers, the theme was to find our own Niche.  Wait, that should have quotations around it, like this, "Niche".  Because that is how I referred to it all weekend.

Problem is people, I have none.

I take pictures, but I'm not patient enough to teach people how to, or I think, would want to listen to MY advice?

But I kept thinking about it... and thinking about it... and thinking about it, until it drove me absolutely bonkers.

I screamed in my head, "I have NOTHING to contribute!"

So I started asking friends what they thought my "niche" was.

You know what the common theme was?

Bathroom stories!!!

I'm not kidding people. That is what they said.

Me: "So I'm desperate to know what you think my blog 'niche' is".

Them: "Oh Shelle!" hahahah they would laugh, "you are the Queen of bathroom stories!"

I would think in my head, "WOW--I'm really and truly pathetic. This just solidifies it."

The thing is. I HATE going to the bathroom, I HATE public restrooms, for the very fact that really STRANGE things happen to me. I'm pretty sure I've said all of that before in another post.

Anyway--why fight it.

I can't make big bucks off talking about bathroom etiquette but maybe I can still teach, and maybe, just maybe... someone with a twisted and sick brain, will get me! :) *fist pump*

So I have this thing with that hair, ummmm, down there. The correct term I will teach my children someday is *whispers* pubic hair. But for now we will refer to it as the "Hair-Down-There"--kinda like in Harry Potter, how they call Voldemort "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named". Yea, it's really annoying and long to type, but it's classy, and I'm all about classy.

I've gone off on a rant.

Back on topic: I dry heave if I see something similar to The-Hair-Down-There, especially when it's NOT attached to where it is SUPPOSE to be attached.

I'm thinking I'm normal.

Anyway, I went to the bathroom at work the other day and rusedh in (because, AGAIN, I had been holding it WAY TO LONG) and run in to the ONLY bathroom stall available, and sit down, cause that's what girls do.

I do my business, and get up, and then I SEE it.

Yes... I see...a hair, that looks oddly enough like a Hair-From-Down-There (aaackkkk!!!) shaped as the FIRST letter of my name!!!

After I finished dry heaving, and worrying about dying from some disease, I began to wonder if it was too odd of a coincidence!

Was the universe (as Crash would say) trying to speak to me!?

Was it trying to pat me on the back and say, "Shelle, you shall not die of any disease".

And does the Universe speak like the scriptures?

I was so confused by this phenomenom that I wasn't sick anymore.

So... if you ever see a Hair-From-Down-There on a toilet seat that you have just sat on, distract yourself by wondering what it's trying to tell you.

And that is my lesson for today.

Your. Welcome.

Does anybody else have a suggestion on what they think my "Niche" could be?



Kristina P. said...

I think you have cornered the market on this one.

Always Home and Uncool said...

I let you be the female half of my "goofball" niche.

T said...

what's wrong with a niche of Public Etiquette... or is it pubic etiquette?

yikes girl - stick with tea leaves or something, because if the universe wants to tell me anything via lost hairs... I don't want to hear it!

Anonymous said...

I will start a coalition to ban all hair down there, attached or otherwise and we can put an end to it!

Vote Sage is 2012 (I assure you it couldn't be worse than what we have!)

The Wixom Zoo said...

Hahaha! You crack me up. I think you've got the corner market on bathroom stories, for sure.

Danielle said...

I am laughing at T's comment! I am with you on this. My daughter won't pee in public restrooms because I hold her above the toilet and it freaks her out. NO touching!!!

SciFi Dad said...

Maybe the pubes were trying to tell you NOT to sit there?

Garden of Egan said...

Shelle, I think you are absolutely RIGHT ON!!
I too avoid pubic bathrooms (misspelling intended) because I would rather DIE that put my bum where someone else's bum has been.
Totally normal!

Thank goodness my first name starts with the letter T cuz hair down there doesn't get shaped like that. Whew. I'd hate to know what the Universe is trying to tell me!

I don't have a Niche either and I'm OK with that.

Camille said...

I was going to suggest "natural beauty" as your niche, but I think you've proved what your niche is!
Take it and run with it

Melissa Bastow said...

I like your niche. When I kept asking people to help me decide what to read at the community keynote, they only suggested things that had to do with bathrooms...or things you do in bathrooms. And then I realized how often I blog about bathroom stuff. So I'm thinking we go in together on a fabulous bathroom blog and become millionaires. I don't know how the money will actually be earned, but it's got to come, because, by darn it, we have the bathroom niche covered!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Yes Kristina--Me and Melissa! We are taking it by storm... and don't you dare try to take it away from me!

AHAU-OKAY!!! I'll take it! But I'm afraid you totally out do me on great writing content and readership.

T-I know you want to hear it because it is a part of me. Don't deny that! :)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

SS-HAHAHAHA @ Coalition! Ha! That was funny. and So true... you couldn't do any worse.

TWZ-Why thank you. I'm honored to have cornered something... just saying.

Danielle-awesome new avatar BTW. I admittedly didn't touch the toilet when I peed, but... I didn't look before I went down either... *gag*

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

SciFi- Maybe you are onto something... you are WAY To logical for my blog I think.

GOE-Thank you for validating me... I feel better. And... a T gets formed by TWO hairs, and that could be worse, just sayin.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Oh Camille--you always know exactly what to say. You are right @ the whole natural beauty thing. Thank you ;) Wish I would have thought of that before I stuck my claim.

Melissa! we are soul sisters!!! Thank you for finding me and I you and you are awesome. That is all.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Ewwww!! I think the universe is trying to tell you to look closer at toilet seats before sitting down, even if it means peeing your pants. Seriously, I inspect that nastiness everytime I have to use pubic, I mean public, seats!

I don't believe in niches. We blog to have fun and create. Just be you! That's your niche!

Kazzy said...

I am gonna go take a shower now. :)

Amber Lynae said...

I think your niche is humor and relationships.

wendy said...

and THAT'S WHY I get a
and wear depends

val of the south said...

Could it have been yours?

Just sayin' since you saw it after... :)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Alyson-- I know... I should have looked but it was a REAL emergency!!!

Kazzy--I'm sorry.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Amber--Your comment made my whole day. I thought you should know that.

Wendy! ha! I spit stuff on my computer... you may be hearing from my lawyer! That was funny!

Val! NO!!!!!!! It wasn't mine! Duh!

April said...

OH MY HELLACIOUSNESS! Do you not know how to squat woman? That was the first thing my momma taught me when we ventured out into public restroomdom. This tush will NOT touch a toilet seat for that reason....and because my momma scared the crap (no pun intended) out of us kids on what we could catch if we came within 10 feet of a public toilet seat.

April said...

PS-and I flush with my foot and open the door with a paper towel. True. Story.

Malea said...

The first letter in your name is "R"; don't get cocky. No pun intended.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

APES!!! I squatted! DUH! I just didn't look before I squatted. That was my downfall!

Malea-HAHAHAHAHAHHA! Loved that!

Candice said...

People actually grow hair on their snatches long enough to form the letter S? What kind of a sick fucking world do we live in these days anyway?

I prefer no hair on the playing field.

Your welcome for not littering my pubes on your toilet seat.


Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Oh girl, I'm going to be having nightmares about my "public restrooms in Paris, France" experiences.

Thanks a lot!! :D

Niche? Niche? Dang, I'm doomed if blogging is all about a niche.

I don't have one.

And I don't think taking pictures of my kids licking yogurt off the floor counts.

mother goose said...

i'm the same way! if it is not attached to where it should be and NOT mine! I'm sickened! we do a family reunion thing almost every year with the Mr's entire extended family and we stay for 4 days in a cabin. PEople are so NASTY!! clean the shower after yourself. Your long hair and your other hair out of the drain! :: I have to bring my thoughts to another time, or I will be using this trash can next to me! ::gag::
Your niche is your humor! you are always funny!

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