Monday, February 2, 2009

Back Combing, Big Hair, without a cute southern accent is just not ME!

Okay, the only thing I want to say about The OFFICE is Dwight, knife, dummy, and using it on his face! lol!!! I'm STILL laughing!!! Yuck with Jack Black kissing the old lady...bleh!

Don't You Hate It When you go to a Hair Salon walking in with you hair done how you are use to...but walking out with your hair ratted up like the sixties and wishing you had a southern drawl?

Let me just tell you. I'm not a BIG hair person. It doesn't look good on me...in fact, I've tried it, and when I try and rat my hair to give it some volume...I end up driving around on the SHORT bus...

no lie...

It just doesn't look good on me.

I go and get my hair done because I love getting it washed, feeling it cut and dried, and laying just how it's suppose to.

With my regular hair lady who retired a year ago, I always walked away fromt he salon looking like and feeling like a million dollars...I have been flouncing around desperate to find another one that I trust and love just as much as her.

I found a really cute girl here where I live...but couldn't get in to see her and the highlights of gray by my ears were shouting 911!

So I decided to throw caution to the wind and try another hair dresser, who knows, maybe she would be better than the other one? I have been having problems with my bangs, so maybe the NEW lady would cut them better and they would lay normal?

It wasn't my OTHER hair dresser's fault...my bangs are finicky and I feel that they miss my retired hair dresser...so they are having a rebellious streak where anyone else attempting to cut them is in for it... *shakes head*

So I walk into the hair salon, with the NEW hair dresser, and things are going nicely. The 6 degrees of separation play a hand in our conversation and it turns out I taught her daughter a dance piece in high school a few years ago and her daughter is also marrying a guy that I grew up with.

We picked a color...goes GREAT with my eyes BTW...and she cut my hair...did a fabulous job.

Then it came to the styling part of it all. The part I cringe and hope that I walk out feeling like a model and not like an alien.

But such wasn't my luck that day.

As I'm talking with the hair stylist and she has me turned away from the mirror, I FEEL her begin to rat or back comb my hair.

OH NO, I thought...how do I tell her nicely that I'm not a back comber? Can I tell her I'm allergic to ratted hair? Will she go for it? What to do?

Me: "Yea, well, ummm...I should have probably said this since we barely know each other...but I"m not a BIG hair kind of girl...so a nice round brush and a straightener and I'm good to go."

Back Combing Hair Dresser: Laughs..."Oh I don't like Big Hair either...I'm just going to back comb it and then I'll tame it down. The other Hair Dresser here, Kim, She LOVES big hair...she is from Tremonton, UT, they ALL like big hair there...it's so funny because everyone goes walking out of here looking like her with BIG hair." She laughs again, as she continues to rat, spray hair spray, and rat again.

Me: I'm getting really queasy at this point so I say, "Oh my GOSH...totally forgot I have to be somewhere in like 3 minutes...so just go ahead and comb it through and I'll just go however I am...sorry, I'm so dumb sometimes" looks at her sheepishly. I totally lied for the sake of not throwing up!

Back Combing Hair Dresser: "Oh!....Okay. Just let me finish this, it will just take a second." Rat, Rat, Comb, Spray, Rat, Comb, Spray. "Okay, I'm done." During that time, my husband stopped by to grab the keys he needed for the van to get his sunglasses. I knew it was bad when he stopped, looked up at me, and then his jaw hit the floor. He recovered quickly enough, but that meant one of two things.

Either I looked WAY HOT!

Or I didn't.

I'm going to venture...I didn't.

So when she turned me around to look in the mirror...My imagination of how it looked at how it REALLY looked was too kind. It was monstorous!!! I would have screamed if my etiquette of human communication would have allowed me to. My hair was not just big...it was HUGE!!! I felt like one of those women who had big hair and a southern drawal. Not the charming, classy, beautiful big hair southern women...but the ones that TRY to be charming and classy with BIG hair...

Instead when she asked, "How do you like it?"

I replied, "The color is beautiful"...I believe I might have even slipped in a sarcastic drawal when I said that, paid her, and ran out the door!!!

I jumped in my Van and tried with all my might to undo the snarls with my fingers. It was like trying to dig at a cement wall.

Yea...I hate it when that happens. What's worse was having to face my all to can't-wait-to-make-fun-of-Shelle spouse when I saw him next. Lets not even go INTO the bangs people...think 80's and feathers...

Let's just say...next time, my 911 gray hairs will just have to WAIT!!!

What about you? Ever had a similar experience? Or do you not mind because BIG HAIR is fabulous on you and you were blessed with being charming, classy, and have a cute southern drawal?

Love,

Shelle

31 comments:

Katie L said...

Shelle!! I have a fab hairdresser...who doesnt KNOW how to backcomb!! Its Lauren, from dance class. I love her to death....I kinda wished she backcombed tho...cos I am a FAN!!!! hahahah!!!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH! That is so hilarious. I love the way you tell a story. I can just picture you (since you're my twin) sitting in your hair dresser chair writing this post in your mind.) I was sitting in my hair dresser chair writing a post in my head just last Friday. How coincidental. When I throw caution to the wind I go to my old hair dresser instead of a new hair dresser. I haven't had my hair cut since August because that's how long her hair cuts last. Or at least that's how long my Post Traumatic Stress lasts.

My problem is I don't look good in big hair either, but my hair is JUST plain BIG. I guess I got all the big hair jeans.

Hey, I DID NOMINATE YOU FOR HOTTEST MOMMY BLOGGER SO get your peeps over there to vote for you, you silly goose. Pay attention.

Oh, and I just lost another follower. I always feel better when I can come over here and comisserate. I'm almost to the point where I don't care anymore. I just want to shout DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!

PJ - Our life said...

That happened to me once when we first moved so So. Utah county. I went and had my hair done and when I was done I looked like I fit right in with the Payson people - BIG HAIR! I didn't go back to her again!

Heidi Ashworth said...

I cut and color my own hair. I break out into a cold sweat everytime I pull out those scissors and it never looks really great--but I avoid the trauma that way. Plus, it's free!

Kristina P. said...

I FINALLY got to a point where my stylist won't backcomb my hair. I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!

T said...

I have the big hair gene... doubled! Finding a great hairdresser is like dating in college... let's just say though that I'm still playing the field... I suppose that the search might take less time if I had the hair cut more often than twice a year...

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Katie L--Had no idea Lauren was a hairdresser...am going to have to ask her about that!and you are TOTALLY lying about being a fan!!! :)

Crash...YOU DID nominate me for HOTTEST MOMMY BLOGGER??? How did you ever guess that was my life long goal? Aaaahhh SHUCKS...so do you think I should put my underwater pic as my HOTTEST MOMMY PIC of the year???

And you totally DID get the big hair genes...I have a lot of hair..it's just fine! Tamn it all!

Honestly...who in the heck is DE-Following you? Do you want me to make a generic voodoo doll for you? They are insane because you are absolutely too entertaining to lose followers!!!

PJ--Yes...I had my hair done in Spanish Fork...almost as bad!!!

Heidi--if there was a BRAVEST MOMMY BLOGGER award I would totally vote for you...I've NEVER taken the scissors to my own hair...I've colored it, but not cut it! How do you do it?

Kristina P...I need to get to that point!

T-I'm sick of playing the field and just want to settle down now and let them meet the parents...ya know?

thedailyclick said...

That is hilarious! So sorry! But hey, where's the picture of YOU?? LOL
I can't find a hair dresser I like, either. Well I did, but last time I went back, she no longer worked there.
I never have them style my hair anyway, I go straight home and wash it because I can't stand all those little hairs everywhere.

devri said...

Yeah, but not the stlye, the hair cut, it was so bad I had to go and get it cut off, boy short.. what the crap!!!

I fear them now, and I can't afford to go to a 80 cut woman, but then again, that is who messed it up royaly.

Barbaloot said...

Yikes! Too bad you don't live in my area---I have an awesome hair-dresser.

I mostly just hate it when I walk out LOVING my hair, but can never get it to look the same way on my own.

And once, I got my hair highlighted a LOT more than usual. I went from brunette to blondie---and freaked myself out every time I looked in a mirror for the next few days.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

So, you got the Utah treatment? Yeah, that's what all us non-Utah Mormons think of when we think of the Utah ladies. hehehe

Why NO picture? You really should have thought of us first before you combed out the cemeted hairdo and taken a pic. It could have put you over the edge for hottest mommy blogger!

Becky said...

I've got naturally curly hair, so I'm pretty used to big hair, though I think curly big hair and back-combed big hair are two whooole separate issues.

And I'm too cheap to go to a salon - I cut my own hair. Someday I'll get brave and fork over the cash. As long as there's no back combing!!

The Wixom Zoo said...

I went into a new place one time to get my hair cut and told the lady that I was just looking for something new. The next thing I know, she's cut off 10 inches and only left about 3 on the top of my head! I looked so bad! My hair was just about as long as my husband's... I never went back.

Jessica said...

I'm with Becky. I've got curly hair so big hair is pretty normal here. I actually blow dry my hair so it's bigger than if I just let it air dry - for special occasions.
I have very little experience with hair dressers. My mom cut my hair growing up and scarred me for life. Now my sister does my hair. She's fantastic so if you're ever up in the Provo area I can recommend her. I would go literally a year between haircuts when I didn't live near her. I'm that much of a scardy-cat!!

Lara said...

I am laughing so hard right now, because guess who just got back from getting a haircut? New stylist, did a pretty good job, but listen, my hair is already big enough naturally, we really don't need to help it along in that department. So yeah, I look a little bouffantish right now. Lucky for me, no amount of backcombing stays in my hair for long.

Aubrey said...

You can't go telling a story like this WITHOUT a picture. At least ONE! Sheesh!

wendy said...

I agree with Aubrey, should have attached a photo so we could laugh at you *(I MEAN WITH YOU)* First, If you new none of Brice Springsteins songs you must be a young whipper snapper (I said that with a southern drawl as a tribute to your hair)
I am LUCKY as I have a daughter and daughter in law who are in the "hair" business and they do an awesome job. I also get all my color and styling for free..they try and keep me in line when I start doing something funky with my hair ...like making it BIG.

April said...

I have a good lady that does my hair if the one you are going to try next doesn't work out. I need to back comb because my hair is soooo thin. It makes my hair look normal. (Not like in my header pic...that was lots and lots because we were shooting outside for family pics.)

Kritta22 said...

I go to a hair school to get my ears lowered. It's $15. That's all I can justify on my pretty little head. Maybe when I'm a gazillionaire I'll pay my aunt to cut my hair.

(She works on movie sets. She is actually in the credits for Ironman. No joke.)

Shannon said...

I hate when hairdressers don't listen to what you tell them... grrrr!


Uh, yeah... I can't believe you didn't post a pic of your new 'do.

Kate said...

back combing would be reason #19 why I don't go to JC penny salon anymore. (in a small town, anyways) I have a hair guy and anytime I go anywhere else i feel like I am cheating on him. lame, i know, but he always finds out too!!!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

CoMe on guys...I was traumatized how in the world was I suppose to remember to take a picture!?

But u r right I should be ashamed of myself for not taking that picture *shakes head*

If I need another hair person I am definitely hitting u guys up!

And NO FAIR that anyone gets it 4 free! I tried to convince my sister it would be her perfect job, but she didn't go for it :)

Susan said...

I love me some big hair. Big hair and a good pair of flare jeans can sometimes balance my oversized ass and set of hips... I mean come on??? How can you not like that??!!

binks said...

I could never do BIG HAIR, even when it was in style. But of course, you weren't born yet.

I can feel the pain of bad haircuts though, but I finally found someone who does a half decent job. It does, however, cost over $100 every time I go.
Now you know why my roots are 8 inches long and I always look like I need a haircut.
I DO!!

McEwens said...

OMG!! I am so with you, WHY in the world do they feel the need to puff out my hair! SERIOUSLY, no one does that, but the stylist! I miss my guy.... he moved and I have found no one great since!

sara said...

I have curly hair, so I'm afraid I don't know what it's like when they back comb your hair. But I get the same dredded feeling when they attempt to dry my hair without a diffuser.
Can you say frizz ball?

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I'm not a big hair person, so NOT. But in college a girl in my dorm had not only big hair but big permed hair and lots of it. (I'm laughing right now just typing that.) One day she came out of the bathroom as I happened to be going down the hall and she was running her finger through her hair - and it got stuck! No lie. I think I nearly died trying to get in my room before I burst out laughing. Of course once in my room I had to share the story with my roommate. I don't think we could ever walk by her again without laughing.
Ah, those were the days.

Now I just live with my fine grey hairs (they blend well I like to think). Something about trying to get a haircut or a color in a foreign country where I don't speak the language unless we are talking about bicycles, milk or flowers just isn't appealing. You know?

John Deere Mom said...

You have awesome hair...I can't imagine you with big ol' ratty hair! No pic?! You're such a tease.

Natalie Sue said...

hahaha.. I have the exact opposite problem. Whenever I leave a salon I look like Cher and I have to go home and figure out how to get myself some volume!
I love your story....but I can only dream of someone styling my hair too puffy!

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