Friday, January 22, 2010

Life dropped kicked us!


I think when one gets comfortable in life it is exactly the time when the man upstairs says, "Ah, perfect teaching moment!".

In life my husband and I are really similar in the fact that we both like and enjoy change and that we are pretty laid back and take life as it comes to us. I'm lucky that my husband doesn't overreact to much. I'm lucky that we both live and believe the same principles and the same gospel so that we look at experiences the same way and have similar goals in where we want to end up beyond this earthly life.

I have to admit that we have been blessed. And moving to where we live now was beyond a shadow of a doubt the RIGHT thing for us to do. We have almost been here four years we had only planned on two. Either way we are still here. MSM has one more semester and he is done with school.

His job has been great to the fact that they have worked with him so that he has still been able to get mostly full time hours and still go to school full-time.

Like I said. We have been lucky.

We were comfortable.


A week before New Years my husband was told that his office was being closed down.

He had a week maybe two and then he was out of a job.

For him, having worked with that job for over 15 years and wanting to get out of it for the last 10 years. His burden has been lifted. Sure he planned on finding a new job as soon as he graduated. That was our plan. Now we are being forced to do it. We will not give up this last semester though, he will graduate, so we will muddle through. Which means that I am the sole provider of the family.

It's a dichotomy to me. I don't WANT to work (I know I know-guys do it all the time and a lot of women now do), but I must. I have the insurance and right now I have the job. I don't want him to give up one semester before graduation because I can't give up a few things in my life so that he can't continue with school. No he NEEDS to graduate, he NEEDS to finish school.

So I must work.

I will tell you though. When I first heard the news I was a bit excited! Change! Yes! But then I realized it wasn't a good change. At least for right now. In a sense, at least for us, we will be--for the first time in our married lives, kinda struggling. So to speak. We will have to cut back on a LOT. We are selling our van to get rid of the payment. (Anyone need a Nissan Quest 2005 at a killer deal???) We are cutting back... which we have never really HAD to do. At times we chose to... but we have never really been forced to do so.

Now we have no choice.

I just hope I can obtain a semblance of myself. I hope I stay happy, positive, and optimistic because that is my character. I hope working more hours doesn't drain my personality like I've seen it do to so many. I hope that I can still give my kids part of myself when I get home from a long day. That the time I spend with them will be quality because I won't have the luxury of quantity right now. I hope at those dark times that I know will come (because they always do, no one is perfect or obsolete from times of depression and self doubt), where I'll turn into myself and my soul will curl up in a fetal position and I will wonder if this is all worth it because I won't be thinking straight from the exhaustion and drain that comes with such a responsibility--I hope that I won't take it out on my husband or blame him. I hope I remember that we are in this together, that this is what we want.

Because this IS what we want.

But that is OUR BIG CHANGE IN LIFE that I was talking about. I have already been working like crazy with photography... this last few months being the busiest. But I always had a choice in it. I wasn't pressured to gain more clientele and it wasn't about the money. Same with my job at the airlines. It is flexible and so were my hours. So me working was more so that we could have the extra things.

Now the shift from being allowed the choice to mainly not having that freedom any longer seems more like a jump across a huge river rather than a small leap across a stream.

At the other side of this we will look back and see this as a major blessing.

I have every bit of faith that we will be fine. My husband is a great guy. He will do everything in his power to support us. He would work 2 or 3 jobs if he had to so that I and my children could live the life he wants for us.

So I can do this for him. I can be the sole supporter so that he can go to school.

We will be okay. Teaching moment that it is. I have no doubt we will be strengthened by it.

Before all of this happened I read a great post by WhyIsDaddyCryin about him losing his job. Incredible post. I think it puts into words how a lot of us feel in this position. Take a read if you have a minute.

Love,



P.S. WE have a great Guest Contributor over at Real World today! She talks about HER cooking versus her EX's cooking!!!

29 comments:

Chief said...

Wow! Change is good, but it is a struggle to accept it.

When life kicks me I try to think of the future and how in just a year from now, you will look back and see what amazing things have come from this unwanted change.

I don't have to tell you this though.. you are one smart cookie!

P.S. Coming through SG in 3 weeks on our way to The Port of LA! I will wave at you as we zoom past!

Steven Anthony said...

your attitude always comes through so clear in your blog, and it always helps me look at things differently...thank you for the posotive energy;)

peace

Anjeny said...

I hope and wish you all those things you posted and more. I am very proud of you for always looking at the positive side of things and I know because of that you will be able to make it and not just that but you will come out on top. Keep up the positive attitude.

Kristina P. said...

A positive attitude means everything. My husband was jobless for 5 weeks, in October, and honestly, I knew we would be OK. And we were. And like your husband, he hadn't been super happy in it, so it was a blessing in disguise and he has a job now he really likes.

The Wixom Zoo said...

I admire you. It's hard to put aside the desire for daily freedom to do whatever you want to so that you can provide for your family. We're actually looking at the same thing right now and it sucks. Good luck, friend.

Kate said...

wow. We had a very similar scare recently too. Just buying our first house, nate came home saying they were closing several branches of his company. Luckily, it was not his branch. It just made me think really hard about coming up with a better plan for savings, and food storage and all that stuff. It could still happen, but being prepared and having total faith that Heavenly Father does have a plan for our lives if we choose to live it makes the whole picture more bearable at times.

thanks for posting this. I know a lot of people are experiencing very similar things right now. Good luck to you guys!

Kritta22 said...

Oh chica! We are in the same situation money wise. We have always had extra, never had to worry about WalMart runs or a McD's lunch. Now we are counting pennies, not just nickels and dimes. Or quarters....we're down to pennies! :)

I'm so proud of you guys for pushing through to finish MSM school. I agree, he needs to finish.

You are a trooper! I heart you bunches.

Here's to paying tithing and praying for the blessings! :)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

WOW... thanks guys. I don't mean to be or sound ridiculous here but it's good to know I'm not alone? ya know? Like misery loves company?

I'm sorry for those of you that had to go through this or are going through this.

Let's make each other delirious with laughter together!

Love ya!

Vodka Logic said...

As hard as it all is you attitude is inspiring and positive. If anyone can make it I think you two can.

Good luck and keep us posted.xx

Hubman said...

Our daughter was born in the latter half of my 3rd year as a doctoral student. Veronica went in to the office for a meeting ostensibly to go over her return to work date, only to find that her position had been eliminated and that she was being laid off immediately.

While I had the GI Bill from my enlisted days and a modest stipend from the graduate school, we had 2 kids and a mortgage- my income was NOT going to cover our expenses.

So we buckled down, she found some work soon enough and we made it thru my 4th year and to graduation.

The point is, others have done it before, I'm sure you'll do fine!

SciFi Dad said...

I just got here now... I'm sorry to hear about how tough things will be for the next little while, but they will improve. I hope you find the new balancing point for your new
situation.

Malea said...

We've been doing this for several years now. With each child that has come, we are cutting, cutting, and cutting some more. Matt has four siblings that have been out of a job for several months. So him being the only one in his family gainfully employed has helped me to not complain, at all, much;)

Mae Rae said...

wow, that sucks but it doesn't at the same time. you hear about the economy and all that it is affecting but it slaps you when you read about it. Chin up!

And bummer, i could have used a car, last thursday i bought one.

SupahMommy said...

WIth God anything is possible right?
You GO shelle!
xoox
supah

Emma said...

You go girl... you can do it!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Yikes! Sorry to hear about the job even though in the end for all of you it will be a good thing. We tetered on the edge of unemployment for six months before Cp found a new job. We are giving up all that we know - east coast life - to hit the South (an unknown entity). But like you said, you do what needs to be done and I know you will all come out the other side even better than before.

April said...

Sometimes we are put in situations so we can have an "aha" moment. You know you can do this. You may not want to or have planned on doing it this way, but you have all the tools to do this. Cause you rock! Love ya Shelle!

mother goose said...

I think it is the best time for this to happen. WE went back to college late. So, if you are going to be poor do it while still in college and with young ones. It is important for him to finish his schooling so he can have a life time of being a good provider for his family and it is important for you to finish yours as well, so you can be a good supporter for your family if you need to.
Photography is great! I did this as well, but ist is barely supplementary income. Because when the times get low people cut back on extras and pictures are extras.
I lost a lot of my freedom. But, I had to work 70 hours a week and had 4 kids to worry about, etc. Trying to single mom it while hubz was out driving stunk too.
But, priorities were put in place and as more time became my own i am able to blog again. Prayers are headed up and thank goodness, he is sooo close to being finished!!You can do it. Stay focused! I say really look into books and info on budgeting and where to put the $$ you have. We are following some Dave Ramsey key advises and things are REALLY turning around quickly for us. It's a good thing.

wendy said...

Hey, did you know your comment above from Emma --is my gor-gorific daughter?
anyway, I am so proud of you, sounds like you have the right attitude for this situation!!
Yes, it will be hard sometimes --and YES the sacrifice will be worth it.
I have seen so many young men try to get through school, then fall short due to having to keep their job and support a family. Make sure he completes his schooling!!

I try to fool the Lord, not let Him know things are going well ---so as not to be TESTED ---or think HE has to teach me another lesson.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Good luck Shelle. I'm sure in the end it will all work out for the better.

Annette Lyon said...

I have no doubt that everything will turn out great--you both have your eyes on the end goal, and you know that it's one semester, not an eternity of "at some point this will end."

And in the meantime, you have your blog and bloggy friends to support you!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I have come to realize that being fired from my job was indeed a good thing as I was too comfortable there to ever leave on my own. When forced to I found a better place to be and will be happier in the long run. But that didn't mean that it wasn't hard. I do not like change. Best wishes. We better get together for another lunch before you head off to your new adventure.

American in Norway said...

You will be fine. Its only a semester.. You CAN DO IT! : )

brooken'dus said...

dus told me he talked to you! I'm so sorry! your a good hard worker and you'll be a great provider for your family!

brooken'dus said...

ps how much is your "killer deal"???

T said...

I was the sole provider for our family back in our Wichita days... and while I don't have a pile of wonderful stories we did make it through - and are stronger for it... school years are rough (so why do I want to go back?) hang in there!

Joanna Cake said...

I know what you mean! We get comfortable and then we get a kick up the posterior to move ourselves forward.

Stick with the programme and see what the future brings. Good Luck to both of you! x

Amanda said...

This hits close to home for us too. I admire your faith. Faith feels good, doesn't it?

Beautifully written.

John Deere Mom said...

You certainly do have a positive attitude about a scary change and I think that is amazing! Good luck in your newest journey!

Here you Go SciFi Dad