Monday, September 27, 2010

She wants to be like me... ut oh!

I walked into my house after a long, tiring day at work.

Walked isn't really a good term for what I was doing.

I was more... dragging myself into my home.

Anyway.

I get down stairs. And laying on my love sac is my black heels, skirt and scattered haphazardly around it was my jewelry. As I continued to stare at what was suppose to be my family room, but looked like a tornado had touched down, I smelled my Love Spell by Victoria Secret body splash.

Usually at this point, I flip. Sometimes inside my brain and sometimes, unknowingly to me, I go wild eyed crazy out loud. It's like this outer body experience and although I know I may be toeing the line of being committed into a insane asylum, I can't stop myself. I bark orders and get red in the face and turn into a HUGE, UGLY, Monstrous thing. It's not pretty.

But that day.

Well, it hit me.

My little girl wants to be like me.

This beautiful, independent, absolutely funny and persistent little girl... who is incredible just the way she is... wants to be like ME.

But I don't want her to. I don't want her to mimic me, because along with the wonderful being I am... and I understand I am worth modeling to a point, I have these flaws about me that I don't want her to ever have.

I know I can't control that.

But I panicked.

You see. She's completely and innocently confident in herself. She loves how she looks, she's funny, she cares about everyone, she hates when people are sad she is an empathetic crier, she is a great helper, she's bossy in a good I'm a leader sort of way, and best thing about her is-she could care less what people thought of her. If they don't want to be her friend or they don't like her she figures they are losing out.

And you know what?

She's right.

I sat down on my couch, absently moving princess high heels over, and became a bit overwhelmed by the idea.

So I've decided. I want to be more like her, and in return, she will end up being just herself! So I will start studying and modeling who she is.

My only problem is going to be fitting into her heels and skirts... but the jewelry should fit just fine. :)

So how did you react when you realized you child wanted to be just like you? Am I just a dorky parent or what?

Love,

20 comments:

Cherie said...

It sometimes is a scary thought that you are modeling behavior(s) for your children. I don't think any of us are perfect but knowing that they are watching definately helps me to be better.
My 2 daughters are now grown and I am amazed at the people they are turning out to be - I seriously want to be just like them!!

Garden of Egan said...

You are wise! Embrace her being like you, that's awesome cuz you are wonderful.

Emily said...

Very sweet post! I think we all need to realize we ought to be more like our kids! (And a LoveSac? I used to work for them!)

DCHY said...

I was very pleased when my older daughter acknowledged that she wants to be like me. She IS me.

T said...

I think you've got the perfect plan! I was SO touched when ManOfTheHouse said he wanted the girls to be just like me... you know... in a moment of sweetness and light baby blessings - but really, I think I really want so much more for them!

People in the Sun said...

My 2yo boy was facing beets. Purple watery thingies that they are. And he just took a bite. I can't even look at this stuff. And he says Hi to neighbors I've avoided for years, and NOTHING BAD HAPPENS.

Sure, he can learn some stuff from me, but really, I'm the one who should have an open mind.

Papa K said...

Our daughter wants to be jUST LIKE her mama.... I don't think it's so bad.

Barbaloot said...

How about how did I react when I realized I was just like my mom? :) I'll never be as confident and able to lead as she is---but our core personalities are totally the same. And I'm okay with it:)

Tracie said...

I think that is so sweet! As she gets older she will then want to be nothing like you, then she will go back to thinking your are cool and want to be like you again. Then years and years down the road she will say something and be SHOCKED cause it sounds like her mom.

My hubby is just THRILLED that my children have inherited/copy my sarcastic personality. Really.

Candice said...

Aww, I really loved this post.

And regardless if you like it or not, you are her number one role model. Just keep that in mind. No pressure or anything. ;)

Danielle said...

Awesome, awesome post! I love this and feel the same way about not wanting my daughter to be like me in a few ways. I want her to be her and I hope I don't sway her too much!

SciFi Dad said...

Kids will imitate EVERYTHING you do, both good and bad. They're like a really cute, LOUD mirror.

binks said...

Awwww, so Peeps wants to be just like Mom? Maybe you can steer her clear of the soccer hair and camel toe pants from your past. But look what those awkward moments did in molding you.

I did everything in my power to make sure my son was nothing like his absent, loser father and to my surprise, he is EXACTLY like him. **sigh**
Surprising how genes can take over someone and override all that upbringing. Maybe he'll spend the next 20 years being just like me.
A mother can dream, right??

Que said...

I have 3 girls and I'm not so sure I want any of them to be like me! ...my wife... maybe. But definitely not me. All except for the hair. I have been trying to get my wife to let me shave their heads bald like mine. But she's not going for it. I'm not sure why but it's probably for the best.

wendy said...

That's a nice tribute that she wants to be like you. Makes it ever so apparent to US as parents that we need to watch what we do, what we say.....becuase WE are being watched.
You have probably heard the saying
"the tracks we try to cover up by our children were first made by ourselve" (I butchered that, but you get the idea)

AND I love the idea of YOU wanting to be like your child. That is a beautiful thought.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Cherie- It's so true. And it's weird that it just HIT me now? Ya know? But it does want me to be better... to do better... to be stronger and more worthy of her example? Does that make sense? Your daughters are gorgeous.

GOE-Thanks girl. I need and am going to embrace it... I just was freaked at the time! Miss you!

Emily-Yes a LOVE SAC!!! They are awesome. It's the innocence of things I miss I think. And that says a lot, since I still am quite innocent compared to a lot of people.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

DCHY- That's wonderful. It's funny when you see them mold into who they are and you sit back and think... that's SOOOOO mini me!

T- I'm right there with you on that. I want them to be so much more. I didn't fulfill my potential... which I still have time and am going to work on it! So fun meeting your husband last night!

POTS-So true. My kids are like that also... fearless for the most part. It's incredible. And they do things that I wouldn't dare and come out of it just fine! Scares me to death... but they think it's FUN! Like public singing! aaaccckkk!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

PapaK-Nah... in your case your wife is fabulous! I want to be like her... at least her hot bod! :) That comes off weird but is meant in the best way!

Barb--see... I'm the same. I think I picked up my Mom's best traits... like her ability to talk with anyone. That kind of thing. I'm hoping my daughter only sees the strengths...

Tracy-LOL... isn't THAT the truth! I went through all three of those phases. I'm sarcastic also and my daughter picked up that trait pretty early on... like, from birth.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Candice--yea, next time I need a friend in a tough situation to life me up... I'll remember to steer clear of ya! :) I kid. And it's totally true @ being their number one role model...yikes!

Danielle-- yea, hope is all I have. I want her to remain just her... just so imperfectly perfect just like she is! But it's inevitable she will change as she gets older... hopefully only getting better! :)

SciFi-LOL the perfect way to describe them! Especially if they resemble you in looks.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Binks-- it is funny what genes are passed on! My daughter has a lot of characteristics of my husband. Just little quirks she does. It's weird. My son also.

LOL @ awkward moments. For sure my whole life is stock full of them and they definitely have molded me into SOMETHING...

Que- Sinead O'Connor look was out ages ago. I'd throat punch my husband if he ever shaved my girl bald... just sayin. :)

Wendy--no doubt. Words are so wise, it's the actions that follow the words that screw me up! :)

I really do want to be like her. I want her innocence and her curiosity for life and everything else I said in the post... :)

Here you Go SciFi Dad