Friday, September 10, 2010

Let's discuss. Why do you blog? And why would you keep it a secret if you did blog...in secret?

I have a serious question for you guys that I hope you are open enough to answer truthfully.

If you feel like you'd like to remain anonymous with your answer... please do that.

Why do YOU blog? Whether in secret or out in the open... WHY do YOU BLOG? And if you did do it in secret (even if you don't now I'd like your opinion on this) why do you or would you?

Here is my answer to my own question(s).

I blog because it's an out. Does that make sense? Blogging to me is much like T.V. is for other people or even reading. It's like my escape from reality. I don't get things from blogging that I'm missing from my real life. It's just an out that appeals to me. I get to use my creativity with writing as well as read and validate other people. It's also a bit like watching real live soaps or drama shows... except it's people's real lives. But I don't need it nor does it replace anything in my Real Life.

It's a bonus when I get to bond with people and then meet them in Real Life. But I'd still blog if that never happened. IN fact, for the first year and some it was just like that. Me writing and reading and receiving little if nothing back.

I think we all go through that initial... what the heck? Who are these people commenting and why in heaven's name do they keep coming back? When we first get comments that aren't our family or close friends. If we do blog in secret... I bet we never feel like anybody really is going to read it.

If I blogged in secret, I would definitely do it for a place where I wasn't monitored. Where I didn't have to be nervous about what I wrote. Where I could just write what I felt and who cares if people agreed with it or not. I would assume that would be the allure of being a secret blogger. Hiding your online life from your real world life? You could talk about whatever--whenever--and would never have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings... or anyone judging you?  Maybe?  That would be a reason I would do it.  I mean, there have been many times where I have written a post and then totally deleted it because I felt someone might take it the wrong way... some one in my Real Life.

Anyway... what are your opinions?

40 comments:

SciFi Dad said...

I blog to write; I don't get to do much writing in my job, so I blog to keep my english skills reasonably honed.

Brittney said...

I totally blog in secret because there are things i need to say that I dont want to say to my family & friends hell its usually venting about them lol! I like my blog because its a space to be completely free.. honestly me ya know i dont have to worry about hurting feelings or whatever

T said...

it's my out as well... I don't keep it secret (shoot, my sisters in law got me started... couldn't hide it from them) but sometimes that would be nice... thus the Real World posts I don't advertise on my own blog :)

I like the feedback, and I like funny people... and I'm going to be late for lunch if I keep indulging in my blog time!!!

Becky @ Welcome to my life said...

I have always kept a diary for as long as I can remember. I've got boxes of notebooks filled with childish dreams and high school crushes and broken hearts.
I stumbled across 'blogger' quite by accident one day and I thought it would be fun to write on line even if just for my family.
Turns out I'm an attention whore.
I used to blog in secret, or at least tried to stay hidden from my ex-husband. Turns out he found it anyway and used my own words against me in a custody battle for our girls (I won, I kept sole custody of the girls).
At that point I realized it was pointless to continue to try and hide from him online, so I came out... well, went public.

Becky @ Welcome to my life said...

I have always kept a diary for as long as I can remember. I've got boxes of notebooks filled with childish dreams and high school crushes and broken hearts.
I stumbled across 'blogger' quite by accident one day and I thought it would be fun to write on line even if just for my family.
Turns out I'm an attention whore.
I used to blog in secret, or at least tried to stay hidden from my ex-husband. Turns out he found it anyway and used my own words against me in a custody battle for our girls (I won, I kept sole custody of the girls).
At that point I realized it was pointless to continue to try and hide from him online, so I came out... well, went public.

Char @ Crap I've Made said...

My answer is kind of churchy (and I'm not especially churchy, so that's weird for me)...

It's not for the money --- I've never made a cent. I do occasionally get free stuff, and that's fun, but it's not why I do it. You know how a generation ago all the moms were outside on their front porches watching their kids play in the street? I think that blogging is this generation's "front porch". For a number of reasons (safety, moms having to work, more demands on our time, life being less simple), that phenomenon and the sense of community it created are gone. I get that "community" feeling from blogging. And, it works with my life. I have 4 kids, one of which has Asperger's and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). I'm the camp director and in the Primary Presidency. My husband in the Elders Quorum President. Life is crazy. Blogging can happen at 10pm or 5am. I don't think my neighbors want to hear from me at those hours.

I also got more help and information in one random off topic post about my son having SPD than I did in months of talking to the school district and trying to get evaluations. The blogging community is giving. They love to share and support one another. I love having a group like that I can go to for support. There's also a huge range of life experiences out there that I can draw from when I have a question.

I think that blogging has also helped me develop talents. It's definitely forced me to be more creative. I've tried a lot of new things and stepped outside of my comfort zone. (Dude! I was on TV! And I didn't even freak out or curse!) My sewing has improved. My photography has improved. My writing? Not so much. LOL! I am who I am, though, and the greatest compliment I get is when I meet someone who reads my blog and they say "You're EXACTLY the same in real life!"

Remember that talk President Uchtdorf gave in the General Women's meeting a few years back? This one: http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=15674bb52a73d110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

The part subtitled "The Work of Creation", specifically. We DO need to create. And I've created a blog.

Alex said...

I blog because I'm bored. Ok, not totally because of that. But that's one of the billion reasons lol.

I like to write. I'd keep an actual diary or journal except that I get severe cramps in my hand it I handwrite things for too long. Not cool. So typing on a computer is much easier.

Like you, I like the connect it brings. I've met some pretty awesome people through blogging. I've met some of those people in Real Life as well. I've seen some amazing things, gotten some wonderful ideas, and have had great support from people I don't even know! It's shows me that there are people out there who care. Know what I mean?

However, I write for me. I don't try to be funny. I don't try to write what I think other people will like. I just ... write lol. To keep a record of our time together as a family and our time as individuals. It's for me.

Garden of Egan said...

I started blogging cuz I wanted to post pix of the family and my cute grandkids. I also love writing and thought this would be an excuse for a journal or scrapbook.
But I still do those things too.

Then we had some very difficult things to endure and I pulled back a bit. I started looking for humorous things and blogged about that. It felt better. I didn't post personal things because I am not sure I'd be strong enough to accept criticism.
As I have visited other blogs, I have been shocked at how rude people can be in their comments.
I know I couldn't handle that.

I have enjoyed meeting with blog friends. I find that I gravitate to those blogs that I think are authentic and not fake. Sometimes people do struggle and they get up each day. Not every day is a wonderful, spiritual, perfect pink unicorn farting butterflies day.

However, you have given me a good idea for an annonymous blog.
I've often told my boss in the ER that I would work for 12 hours for free if they would allow me to say ANYTHING that I wanted to. No filter! Just spew the stuff that comes to my head. It would involve A LOT of sarcasm. And I would be a rude person.
Cuz sometimes you just can't cure dumb and also you don't need to ride in an ambulance for your menstral cramps. Seriouly.
I do have so much I would like to say.
You know...teaching moments.

Gucci Mama said...

I started blogging because I love to write, I need to write, I can't NOT write. And then I kept it going because I loved the feedback, I saw my writing grow and evolve and improve, and I enjoyed that. Now my favorite part about it is the very real relationships I've been able to forge with other bloggers. The friendships I've made are fabulous.

I don't blog in secret, but there are things I absolutely never discuss that I think would surprise most of my readers. So, a little opposite of what you're talking about here, maybe. My "real life" knows all about my "online life", but my online life is only vaguely familiar with my real life, if that makes sense.

Sher said...

My relationship with blogging has morphed over the years. At first it was kind of a scrapbook to post pictures of my family. Then, it kinda became my journal. Then, I realized there was this whole community thing behind it. I've used blogging to make friends, market my music, have somewhere to vent, and an outlet for my innermost feelings.

PorkStar said...

I blog because I love to write. I do some writing at work but not as creative as i would like, so blogging provides that. It started being totally different, just to put ideas and thoughts out there, but this has changed into puttin ideas and bad thoughts on people's minds, apparently. People have found it entertaining and i love making people laugh. Albeit at an expense it seems : )

Que said...

I just started blogging by accident. A friend said you can do the writing and get paid. I thought that would be awesome! After the first few months I realized there is NOT a lot of money in it. But at that point I was kinda hooked on it.

I would love to write everyday like some bloggers I know but I just don't have the time with a job, wife, 3 kids (2 of them toddlers). So now I just write when I can and I don't try to push it.

Another reason I write now because I always wanted to go into comedy. Well, my acting dreams never came to be but I still like to find the funny in everyday stuff. So blogging helps me get that out of my system.

Andrea said...

I started blogging for family and then it became for me. Do I wish certain family didn't read my blog? Absolutely because I do have to monitor what I say (which can stink when say, I want to rant about my mil or something ;)

Some people don't care and say whatever they want but I can't be totally free like that. I worry too much about hurting someone's feelings. That's both good and bad.

Andrea said...

I started blogging for family and then it became for me. Do I wish certain family didn't read my blog? Absolutely because I do have to monitor what I say (which can stink when say, I want to rant about my mil or something ;)

Some people don't care and say whatever they want but I can't be totally free like that. I worry too much about hurting someone's feelings. That's both good and bad.

Miscellaneous From Missy said...

I started blogging as a way to keep distant family filled in on our daily lives after we had children. (I got tired of repeating the same baby stories over and over and over on the phone to one family member at a time.)

Now I blog because I love writing, and I enjoy telling stories and recording our memories. I would continue even if no one read it ever.

I do have a secret blog that is for my eyes only. I started it because after blogging on my real blog, I found out that typing out a situation so that an outsider could understand it became like therapy for me. Unfortunately, there were some situations I faced that I did not want the world knowing about. It was precisely those situations that I NEEDED to blog in order to get my brain back in order. When I blog those, it feels like a ball of tangled thread inside my head has been untangled and now lies in a smooth line straight before me. I can see it clearly, and go on to make appropriate decisions.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

SciFi--I guess I kinda do that also... but I've never nor will ever claim to be a writer. Although, I'd love to be?

Brittney--I envy that. I do.

T-I think an out is kinda like our own public journal or something?

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Becky- I think that is just it. When we are OUT we are monitored. In your case you were fine. But some people just take everything the wrong way, no matter what we do? Or say?

Char-I'm good with churchy. I loved this part of what you said, "I also got more help and information in one random off topic post about my son having SPD than I did in months of talking to the school district and trying to get evaluations. The blogging community is giving. They love to share and support one another. I love having a group like that I can go to for support. There's also a huge range of life experiences out there that I can draw from when I have a question." It's so true. We feel the need to help and support... and once you draw from that... it's quite addicting.

Alex--so for you it is writing and somewhat therapeutic? I think it's like that for me also. Helps me know I'm normal and people do care.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

GM-That makes absolute sense. And I think is the same for a lot of people who don't do it in secret... or even who do... to be honest. You are a great writer. :)

Sher- I like how you say it has morphed. That is the exact word for it. You start somewhere and end up somewhere else and it seems you are always better for it. Depends on the dependency one has on blogging though. It can be a slippery slope.

Porkstar-I like making people laugh also. I just always have this problem of conveying my humor. I have been taken the wrong way many times when people don't get me.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Que-right the money just isn't there for most of us. Once we all understand that we end up pulling from it the community feeling and it satisfies either a writing need or an OUT that we need :)

Andrea-I feel the same way. I hate it when I hear that i have offended someone somehow IRL or online. I never intentionally do it. And if it is intentional... they know. But then again, I'm just not like that really in life or online. But having to monitor what we say sometimes cuts off our creativity... no? sucks at times like that ;)

Missy--that is probably like those burn journals my friend was telling me about. She writes in a journal and then burns it. By building a blog that nobody has access to and is private but journal-ing to get things off of your mind would be awesome. i should think about that.

Barbaloot said...

I started blogging of out boredom. I had just moved to AZ, and had a very slow job and did it to keep myself entertained. I didn't tell very many people about it...I didn't think it was that interesting and some people I didn't want to know about it. When I got my first comment from a stranger...you...I thought it was cool. And it's just ballooned from there. Now, the majority of my commenters are people I haven't met IRL, but I consider them friends. I don't really tell people I know that I have a blog. If they find out, I'm okay with it, but I don't advertise it. No real reason, I just don't put it out there.

The Wixom Zoo said...

I actually have two blogs. One is for everyone and anyone to read - it's my way of keeping track of kids, etc.
The other one is for venting. I don't blog on it very often, but it's super handy when I'm frustrated, mad, sad, etc. It's my Debbie Downer blog. I think everyone should have one - it's therapudic.

This Mom said...

Like other mommies I started my blog for family that didn't live close so they could see the day to day of my kids. Now it is more for me. A way for me to write about what they are up to. I don't even think any of my family looks at it. One day would like to create a book of my blog so I have a hard copy.

Candice said...

I would totally blog in secret if I felt the urge to. I would have tons to share that I don't share on my current blog, simply because I'd like to keep my job. And not become a social outcast. ;)

Candice said...

I would totally blog in secret if I felt the urge to. I would have tons to share that I don't share on my current blog, simply because I'd like to keep my job. And not become a social outcast. ;)

Anonymous said...

I blog in private because I CAN NOT be who I really am where I live and around the people in my real life. I am expected to be a certain person due to my role as my husband's wife. Both he and society call for it.

I also do not have anyone to talk to most times when I need it (including my hubby who really doesn't want to hear most things regardless of what he says), and of course being able to say what I want to say without being judged by people I see every day is a bonus. I can use my place as a sounding board to figure things out- to figure me out.

Anonymous said...

plus I have an unexplainable NEED to write

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I blog because of the same reasons as you. It is my release. A way to chronicle what is going on in my life, my thoughts and just have fun with it. As a mom and teacher, I need my adult time, and blogging is a great way to meet other people like ourselves, or so different that it rocks our socks off...and I love it all. I think the reason I started blogging and the reason I continue now are slightly different. But I wouldn't do it if I didn't love it!

Papa K said...

I have a number of reasons. Probably the main one is because I love the attention. I'm a frustrated actor and never really saw my dream materialize. Having a blog helps feed that need to be noticed (you may notice all the pictures I post of myself)... but I'm also a introvert so it's kinda weird!?

I'm also have a need to be creative... and blogging helps feed that.

I too love to write... i never knew that I had that skill until I started blogging. I always thought writing was boring... but it's the furthest thing from it.

Lastly... blogging is therapy for me. If i'm going through a hard time and need to release it... I can do so on my blog.

See Mom Smile said...

Why would someone blog in secret? I started blogging because I love to write and an author I admire told me the best way to keep up your writing chops is to blog. but I had no idea the connections I would make. And now, I love that part best of all!

April said...

I began blogging as an outlet. I haven't blogged in a couple of months because I've had a lot of stuff going on. But I really have missed it. That's why I was glad for lunch with my girls on Friday. A nice big AHHHHHH! =)

Kazzy said...

I agree that I would blog even if I never met the people I have connected with in person. It is a great chance for creativity and immediate feedback, which is almost like a drug! Quick responses and a chance to reciprocate.

O said...

I just started blogging a couple of weeks ago. I'd heard about blogging but never really been sure what to think of it.. and to be honest, I still don't know what to think of it..!
For the time being, I blog because I have a story to tell. My job is slightly different and people are usually interested in hearing about it. And sometimes the thought of not having to tell the same story over and over again, feels kind of liberating.

I blog anonymously because in my case, who i am has no value to the blog in general.

Tracie said...

I just start blogging - literally today was my officially outing :)
I have enjoyed meeting people when I respond to other blogs so it seemed like it may be fun.
Plus it was something that wasn't JOB related!!!

Danielle said...

I don't hide that I blog obviously since I use pictures and my real name, but I also don't publicize it. I do feel a little censored since I know that some of my family reads it. I also don't want my daughter to ever be ashamed of me if she sees it. The internet never really goes away.

Mariah said...

I don't hide it or publicize my blog, I prefer my kids don't see it though b/c I tell a lot of stories about them and I would hate it if it hurt their feelings. I blog b/c I LOVE to journal and blogging is like journaling but it's public and you get feedback. I think my kids will enjoy looking back at my blog someday and realize how weird and funny they were.

Mae Rae said...

I blog because i have stuff to say. I blog in secret because i don't want my family to know. i have a lot to say about them and this is where I am me. I have too many places where I am someones daughter or daughter in law, someone's sister or someone's mother. Here in bloggy world I am MaeRae and that is where I can be me.

I started because when i read a blog like this i have far too much to say to fit in some little box.

UP said...

I too, blog to write. I have to write...even if it doesn't make sense or make someone laugh or make someone think...I have to write.

I blog, therefore I am!

Oh, yes, I suck at keeping secrets!

UP

annie valentine said...

I blog because I'm vain and like to hear the sound of my own voice.

Jack said...

I have been blogging for 6.5 years now because I make exorbitant amounts of money doing it.

Stacie's Madness said...

ok, first...annie valentine's comment made me giggle.

I am OUT on my blog...I am me there...however there are only a very few close friends that even know about my blog. My Mom knows about it, but has NEVER asked for the site address...though she probably wouldn't know how to get there anyway.

SO. what I am saying is, *cough* I blog because it is my way to express feelings that I might not otherwise say out loud. I blog like I am in with a counselor... and well, the things that I might say in there aren't for some family/friends to hear.

I do find it funny, though, how I have no qualms about sharing them on the WW.

Meh. There you go, my clear as mud reasons for bloggin.

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