There comes a point when I just have to roll my eyes and say, "Enough is enough".
I get that people want to change. I get that people HAVE to change. What I hate is when they are obviously faking it to make it. Ya know what I mean?
I hate that it seems forced, this new personality they are attaching themself with. I hate that they are so enamored of molding into someone or something else that they seem totally unattached from what they were.
I hate that I no longer get them or understand them or KNOW them.
They seem so completely different that I want to punch them back to who they were. I want to pull out the DVD of their life from when the change began and make them sit and watch it. Then we can laugh at them together like a really bad reality show.
I know I sound awful right now. I know I may even sound selfish. But I'm kinda just sick of it. I'm sick of getting to know someone, investing time in who they are, falling in love with what I know of them, and then they go and decide that who they are isn't good enough for them, even though who they are is incredible, and beautiful, and all together worthy of not only MY attentions but every one who cares for them.
Why does a journey of self-discovery for some people mean that they have to change who they are? Why can't it just be a journey of finding out WHAT they are, and why they are special that way?
I am probably the ONLY person that feels this way or even understands what I'm saying. But I had to say it. I had to write this out, because if I didn't, I might have actually confronted these people and said things I couldn't take back. And even though I'm irritated with them and there are days I've had enough... I'm still the sucker, because I still completely love them... even if right now I barely recognize who they even are.
And then I sit here reading the black words on top of the white background and wonder if I am the one who has changed, if I am the one disappointing those around me.
Feel free to unleash whatever awesome advice you have for me. Especially if you understood anything of what I just said. If not... then please leave something I can laugh at and post on twitter...