So I have this goal.
And I'm working my way towards it. One year is what I've given myself.
Of course, it has to deal with my body.
I am a very confident person, in all areas of my life, save one.
I have a very low outlook on my body image, but it doesn't mean I'm not a confident person or have confidence in my abilities, or in myself. It's just means that I have a really screwed up view of how my body looks.
But there are facts that cannot be ignored. Stretch marks from my two kids. Extra weight that likes to sit on my belly, back, and butt. Well it's kind of made it's home for 8 years and doesn't really want to leave. I just sit with this extra 20 pounds, hardly varying in weight.
So I'm doing something about it, but not your regular diet and what not. No, no, no, this is a full on lifestyle change. I've worked out before, I've done diets, I've done almost everything one can think of. I'm an active person. I run and bike. Yet, you wouldn't really be able to tell that just by looking at me. So instead of bawling about it, I'm going to not let my mind and body win any longer.
I go to this place where, let me just say, they try to kill you everyday. But it HURTS so good. You work out with a group of people, but there is a trainer there pumping you up, pushing you to work harder, and telling you if you have the right or wrong technique of things.
I'm taking it a step further and they are actually going to show me how to eat for my body. Did you know that cookies and strawberry frozen yogurt isn't what my body needs? Weird right?
Anyway... what I'm getting at is they encourage you to take a before picture. The ME before the NEW ME sort of deal, before my re-incarnation.
So I did.
Let's just say, maybe my mind's eye wasn't so thwarted on what my body looked like. Maybe it IS as bad as I had imagined...if not worse. GASP!
Instead of crying and throwing myself in the depths of depression after seeing those pics, that my husband took, I laughed.
I laughed and laughed and laughed. I mean gut laughed. Tears rolling down my face. It's absolutely horrid and I couldn't bring myself to be sad about it.
I don't understand why that is. But I feel so renewed. So ready to break free. Or fill in your own cliche.
All I know is sometimes you just need to laugh.
Blogging Mama Andrea sent this video to me. I'm a Lady Gaga fan. It's pretty awesome and she rocks for sending it to me. Watch it!
How are all of you with the whole body image thing?
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
So I have this goal.
Here you Go SciFi Dad
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