Thursday, July 8, 2010

Leave your "advice" to yourself.

Here's the thing. I don't like advice from strangers.

I don't. As much as I'm really a pushover and a nice person in my own right. I begrudgingly hate advice or maybe it's just the advice where someone is telling me what to do? Ya know? Like when I feel like they are being demeaning instead of helpful.

I instantly want to rebel. Call it immaturity call it what you want.

My husband has to deal with this on a daily basis. Our communication lacks, in that, if he TELLS me how to do something it comes across as him TELLING me it's THAT way or no way and I'd be dumb if I did it any other way.

Are you guys still with me? Because I said WAY a lot up there and it may have made some of your brains hurt.

Since I love my husband I sometimes concede to do it his way in certain situations because I a) feel the need to humor him and b) because I realize I am lacking in maturity, for, in that certain situation his way is more logical and usually more efficient. (I do have to state here that I concede probably only 47% of the time which is up from my 10% when we first got married, so I am making progress).

But when a stranger is "giving me advice" but is really telling me what to do, I usually want to throat punch them. No lie. In my head I become very vicious and would probably scare any therapist.

Like when I'm at the grocery store and my son is sitting on the edge of the cart and I'm looking for cereal and I have some stranger come up to me in a belittling tone and say, "You really should make your son sit down because he could be seriously injured. You should pay attention, did you know your son be seriously injured?" -- in my mind, I throat punched that guy and he fell to the floor gurgling for air. What I actually did is said, "Mind your own business please, my child is just sitting there while I look for cereal, when I start the cart moving again I'll make sure he sits down."

Or how about when I'm about to walk out of my work and I come to a closed door that is usually open. I see a guy painting through the window, I take a step closer to see a bit more, and a lady walking down the hall says, "Nah ah ah, I don't think so. If you think your going to get through there you better knock and then ask him to get down from that ladder before you even think about opening that door." -- in my mind I throat punched her and she fell head first into the drinking fountain before she landed unconscious on the floor. What I did was said, "Oh! I wasn't going to go through there was just seeing why the door was closed", and then gave her a smarty smile and walked off.

Alls I'm saying is, is this normal?

Now go over to Real World and read what Annie from Regarding Annie has to say about Pornography. You won't want to miss it. And give her some comment love, this was a tough issue to write on!


The Napkin Dad said...

Here is my advice: Be sarcastic and wither them with your acidic wit or act like a complete idiot, responding with utter dumbness with as hick an accent as you can come up with. That is my advice and you should take it because I am a stranger on the internet and a man and a husband and the bossy, know-it-all type.

Other than that I think you should start a blog called 'what I really want to do' and fill it with more of these funny stories of how you want to throat punch people.

Stacy said...

Oy! I am the same way - I get so defensive and take things so personally when I should just brush it off as crazy opinionated people.

SciFi Dad said...

What if I TOLD you that you should rename this blog to "The Throat Punching Mormon" because the polarity of those ideas is too awesome to contain? Would that get me throat punched?

Garden of Egan said...

Wow Shelle! I didn't realize that under all that cute sweet dimpleness there was a raging lunatic inside!!!!!

Remind me to keep my opinions to myself.

I'm scared.

OK I love you!

I loved the post. It made me laugh. Of course you only listen to your hubs to humor him.

T said...

totally normal (ManOfTheHouse is humored that I am putting MYSELF out there as a gauge for "normal")

I think the busybody in the store needed to worry about himself being seriously injured... and depending on the day I might have said just that.

I have a tendency to refuse to do whatever is suggested... ManOfTheHouse has learned to NEVER suggest that I do something while he's gone... especially dishes or laundry - because they'll pile up for DAYS if it isn't my own idea :) However, I do stop short of punching him in the throat.

Barbaloot said...

So throat punching is your preferred MO? I'm a teeth kicker myself.

But I know how you feel. It's like whoever is giving you "advice" is taking away your ability to think logically. I always feel a little resentful when I get that.

Kristina P. said...

I think you should actually throat punch them. It would make you feel better.

Sher said...

When I get unsolicited advice from strangers, like at the grocery store (I have been told that EXACT same thing before),
I usually like to say something shocking, like, "Yeah, I was really hoping he would fall out of the cart, then I wouldn't have to deal with him anymore."

Or something like that.

Gucci Mama said...

I'm with you, love. I can't stand buttinskies like that. Throat punch indeed.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

The Napkin Dad-- I think if I started a blog like that, that people would start to become afraid of me. There is a fine line between normal and crazy :)

Stacy-me too, I should just brush it off. But it irks me for a bit, I'm not going to lie.

SciFi-Yes! In my mind you were throat punched!!! ;)

Anonymous said...

My bride felt the same way for about 10 years of being wed. Then after me constantly nicely explaining that had she done what I suggested to start with, which of course she ended up doing every time because her way didn't work out, she began to come to the realization that I was mostly right to a 99.238222938444322 % accuracy.

She then thought it much easier in all respects to just do it my way to begin with and marvelous things began to happen.

#1 she only had to do things once, because she did it properly

#2 She had much more time because she was having to re-do things.

#3 She was much happier not having me re-explain the same thing I told her the first time.

It is a win win really.

I would love to see you execute a throat punch.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Garden of Egan- I KNOW! Don't be scared of me. I couldn't possibly throat punch you. :)

T-I try to stop short of throat punching my husband also. He's too fast for me anyway, he's catch my hand. Darn him!

Barb- Maybe teeth kicking would be better and pack more of a punch?

Anonymous said...

let is all out SHelle!!! hahaha!!! you're awesome chica!

Anonymous said...

i mean let *IT* all out shelle

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Kristina P- One of these days reflex is going to take over... I just know it.

Sher-SEE! That's why I have a secret girl crush on you. You WOULD say that and I could live vicariously through your awesomeness!

Gucci Mama- I get this feeling your WOULD actually throat punch them. I'd love to see that!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Sage- in some part of my mind I actually believe that. But I also think your wife does incredibly well without your unsolicited advice... since you travel so often. But it probably wasn't easy for her to give over.

I'd love to see myself throat punch someone if we are being honest!

Merrianne-Girl! I've missed ya terribly! Yea, don't hate me since you found this out about me... k? hehe

Anonymous said...

Shell: Load your pretty lil self up in the truck and watch as my cellulite fone blows up with calls!!!

Then you will see how often she seeks answers!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Sage-I may just have to do that! Because I believe you as far as I can see with my eyes closed!

Anonymous said...

If your eyes are closed how can you possibly take in my stunning beauty?

Homer and Queen said...

I'm with the throat punch...

Danielle said...

I am so with you on this. unsolicited advice is just that. unsolicited.

Que said...

I was going to give you some really good advice right here but that throat punch thing sounds kinda scary.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Sage- Good point. I guess your stunning beauty isn't as important as believing what you say.

Queen- That is why I love you. Because you would throat punch and I would live vicariously through you.

Danielle-Amen sista.

Que-Yea probably better, I wouldn't chance it either.

Cherie said...

I have always felt the same way and kind of look at people cross eyed if they feel the need to tell me how to do something. Do I look like an idiot? Srsly.

So I had a situation the other day and I seriously thought about this very subject and what I should do.

I was at swimming lessons with my son. It is in the backyard of a friends house. During the swimming lesson I had to make a call and decided to step out of the backyard onto the driveway/sidewalk - she has a huge property so this was a ways away. While I was standing there this little girl who was probably about 3 came walking out by herself and opened the door to a minivan (I'm assuming her moms) climbed in and shut the door. It was 98 degrees outside and the car was in the direct sun.
So scratch the fact that a 3 year old is wandering out front all by herself, but she is sitting in a dangerously hot car with the door shut. We all know what can happen.
I waited for awhile (cause I was not going to leave and let her die from the heat) and her older brother (about 6) came out and got in the car too, then they fought, then they ran back to the yard.
When I got back to the yard the mom was just sitting there oblivious.
I kept my mouth shut but I so wanted to ask her "Do you know your kids are out wandering and climbing into a hot van and shutting the door - Do you want something to happen to them?"
I don't know. Sometimes you wonder.

annie valentine said...

I always have a knee-jerk reaction to apologize, then later I get mad and blog about it. I need to be better about punching people in the throat right up front.

See Mom Smile said...

I love all the throat punching. My MIL is my biggest target. She had 10 kids so she IS the expert.

Anonymous said...

The lady in the store was only trying to help, perhaps you should have listened.

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