So I had time to read blogs the other day and I stopped on my friends blog and read THIS post.
It is his take on LOVE.
If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought my husband wrote this.
So I thought I'd kinda respond on what I think LOVE is. From my perspective. Even though nobody asked me! :)
Now that you have seen the introduction you have fair warning what it's going to be about. So stop reading if this topic makes you squirm! :)
Every relationship I've ever been in I'm IN because I like the person. When it came to boyfriends I liked them AND I lusted after them which can often be confused with LOVING THEM and often is, especially when we are young and have learned "love" through media. But having now been married to the same person for 10 years I realize that he is the only person I have EVER truly LOVED that wasn't my family.
My friend asks in his post: "First what is it? I mean how do you know you have it? It always seemed to me that everyone that ever had or was in love cried all the time. How could that be good enough to want it? Why would anyone have it?" and later on he asks these questions, "how would I know? I mean do bells go off? Do I get something? Does my stomach feel like I'm gonna have the squirts?" (he has a way with words right? *snort* at squirts)
So... here is how I see love. Or how I KNOW I love my husband. Even though in no way did anyone ask me. I just want to share my opinion!
Love is built upon--Lust or Like. But like and lust are fickle. It's ever changing and doesn't last, but that is how most relationships start. You either lust after them or you like them enough to hang out with them more than once. (exception being your own kids. Most parents will agree that you LOVE them first)
Most people confuse love for wanting to be with a person all.the.time or wanting to jump on them and have their way with them or something like that. But to me, that is lust or a lot and lot of like. But not love. I was like that with a lot of people in my life. Especially guys I liked. I just HAD to talk to them or be around them and if we dated and then kissed a lot...BOOM I thought I was in LOVE!. Then after just a few weeks I'd get sick of them. The newness died away and life would interfere. Or they might have gotten sick of me (Pshaw! yea right! I just had to put that in there so you didn't feel I was cocky). Or I met someone else that I liked (lusted after) more. So I was never really in love. But by society's definition I was. I had my fair share of crying over people leaving my life... but I realized it was mostly because I didn't control their leaving. Funny right? With every situation like that I was already trying to find a way out myself, but the fact that I didn't control when it happened I felt more vulnerable... does that makes sense? So I cried over hurt pride not necessarily the person.
Or they confuse LOVE with Romance. That can't be true though. A person could never have someone do romantic things for them and yet still be shown love or feel love. And on the reverse, someone could be showered with romance and still feel as though they haven't been loved or been shown love. Romance is an added bonus for sure, but unnecessary to love someone.
So now that I have separated what most people deem as love. Here is what I think it means.
Love to me isn't as much an emotion, as it is an action. Do I love to hear my husband whisper in my ear, "I love you". YES! Very much so! But if he hadn't of already showed me he loved me, he could whisper until he was blue in the face--but I'd never believe it. For example: my weight. My husband tells me how beautiful my body is to him but in my mind I see my body differently. I don't believe it, so therefore I don't believe him. Get it?
Love for me is the things he does to SHOW me he wants me in his life by taking care of me. He protects me. He provides for me. He does random things to make my life easier. He will do things I ask him to do even though I KNOW he would rather be doing something else, meaning he would be ANYWHERE else rather than where he is. He respects me and treats me that way. He forgives me when I do things that I'm sorry for. He sees a need of mine and takes care of it and sometimes even my wants. He shoves me out the door when I need GIRL time or MY time. He is supportive when I try something new.
But also I know he loves me because at times he DOESN'T like me, yet he still loves me. I drive him crazy. He'll fight with me to defend his position. I'm almost sure he's held back from knocking me upside the head.
And see... I LOVE him because I want and I do those same things for him.
Also, love for me is the person I don't ever want out of my life even during those times I'm mad or angry at them. I'd rather be mad at them with them in my life then to not have them at all. I KNOW I love my husband because if he ever left me by death or some other way I wouldn't and couldn't just forget about him. Sure I'd still live my life, kind of like when you lose someone you love by death, you still continue to live your life after they are gone, but they aren't forgettable They are ingrained in memories that involve action and smell, they are always one thought away. My husband is the reason for most ups in my life and the reason for most downs. He is both the good and the bad. I think love encompasses both.
I don't know if any of that makes sense really to you guys... and I definitely think Sage was lost as soon as I said the word LOVE.
But in a nutshell. Love is an action more than an emotion. It is what you do daily in your life for the people you don't want out of your life.
What about you guys? How do you feel about it? How do you define it?
