Monday, November 23, 2009

I got rushed by the EMT's

OH MY GOSH guys! Do I have a bathroom story for you!

Your. Welcome.

Okay okay, so I am attending a movie at the theater with my little family, (MountainSport Man, Dcar, and Peeps), (No it was NOT New Moon, I had already went to that movie in the morning! Hehehehe, sidenote: It was WAY better than the first movie, and all ya'll that are Edward fans cannot tell me you prefer Edwards pastey white body to Jacobs hunk of flesh! If you do I'll know you lie! So what if his nose is a little weird, with that body, many things can be forgiven. Okay, moving right along…) we went to Planet 51. (Also a very good movie)

Anyway, because of the great movies that opened this weekend, New Moon, Blind side, Planet 51, there were a lot, and I mean A LOT, of people at the theatre…so you'll understand my disgruntlement when my little girl had to go to the bathroom while waiting in line to buy the tickets.

As soon as we get our tickets we bolt into the movie theatre. My husband gets in line for popcorn and stuff (YES, I HAVE to get movie popcorn when I go to the movie, it's blasphemous if you don't, just sayin) I take Peeps to the bathroom.

We swing open the door with force, I was going to get through this as fast as possible, plus as soon as I see a toilet my bladder, without fail, thinks it ALSO as to go to the bathroom.

But as soon as we step in and look around a corner, there are no less than 4 employees standing there looking down at a lady who is sprawled on the floor. At first I thought, "Oh NO! The poor thing slipped on the wet floor", because they had one of those yellow signs they put up after they have mopped a floor that cautions you the floor is wet.

But no. As I sit there and stair at what lays before me, (giving my daughter a perfect example of what to do when you see something that surprises you, rolls eyes), I realize after I hear the employee say, "Did you drink that WHOLE bottle of tequila" that the lady was drunk.

You need to keep in mind, that I live in a city that isn't a alcohol friendly city. You don't see drunk people everyday.

Then the lady pipes up, "Don't lose my phone"!

Movie Theatre chick: "Your phone is in your purse"

Slurring drunk lady: "I know that! Don't lose my phone!"

Movie Theatre Chick (MTC): "Your phone is in your purse honey". (The MTC was probably 18 years of age?)

SDL: moans

Another MTC walks in who was probably my age: "Dear, did you call your pastor? Because he's here, we will let him in as soon as we clear the bathroom" then the MTC lady who is about my age slowly looks at me.

Me: "oh! Sorry, is it okay if we quick use the bathroom" I look down at my daughter, whose mouth is wide open and staring with no abandon and point to her and shrug, "can't be helped she has to go"!

MTC: "Sure, sorry about this."

So we go to the bathroom. The whole time we continue to hear the lady asking not to have her phone lost.

As we are exiting our stalls the EMT comes rushing in and not ALL of them were women.

I KID you NOT! I'm a go with the flow kinda gal so my delicate sensibilities were not marred, but I was appalled for the other ladies in the restroom, well, besides the drunk from tequilla one...

I was just finishing buckling my daughters belt.

We are boxed in.

Me: "Excuse me, I hate to bother you guys but can my daughter and I get around so we can wash our hands and get out of here?"

People shuffle and move around. My daughters eyes are glued on the lady on the floor, staring unmercifully, I wasn't much better to be honest, I however, managed to turn my head forward to wash my hands.

We wash our hands while more EMT's rush in.

How many EMT's does it take to get a drunk lady out of a bathroom? Like 6… and not all are women… and not all the stalls are empty of ladies unloading their bladders!

As I wait for my daughter to finish washing her hands, her neck craned back looking at the scene behind her, her hands missing the water, it finally hits me… 'SHELLE, you can make this a teaching lesson.'

I move my daughters hands from the sink, dry them off, and grab her to slowly walk away, trying nonchalantly to push her head back around. As we are walking out the bathroom door I lean over and say, "P… it's not nice to stare, but if you must, you need to make it less obvious, look through the mirror next time with your head forward!"

It was a proud moment for me.

Come tomorrow, because I did a video that PROVED I wore Red for RED Friday! Don't miss it, it will just justify to you that I am indeed a dork!



Dopp Family said...

Shelle, you are such a good mom! Way to use the opportunity to teach! :) That is crazy that it took 6 EMT's to help that lady. Strange. Glad you had an adventurous weekend!

Barbaloot said...

It's also easier if you turn into one of those sunglasses people who wear them everywhere. Then you can stare and people aren't quite sure what you're looking at.

The Wixom Zoo said...

You have all the fun! I think you and bathroom stories are drawn to each other...

SciFi Dad said...

This is only going to strengthen the prohibition lobby in your state. You know that, right?

PJ - Our life said...

Why does all the fun stuff happen to you? And I love the lesson you shared with Peeps!!

Amber Lynae said...

What a very wise lesson to teach your daughter. And I also think Edward's body is very lanky compared to Jacob's.

I painted me whole dining room red on friday. But I have a broken so no camera to prove it yet.

Annette Lyon said...

What is it about you and bathrooms? I swear, it's like bizarre things happens in bathrooms to you just so you can blog about them!

MaeRae said...

Point and laugh, that is what my boys do. If it had happened in the men's room they would have come out yelling "you should see the drunk guy on the floor in there". that is the difference between girls and boys.

Adam said...


drunk ladies and the potty.

two things that go together like peas and carrots.

Debbie / Cranberry Fries said...

HA! Proud teaching moment indeed. I love it.

Homer and Queen said...

I really hope you didn't miss the previews!

Southern Sage said...

Did the lady have more Ta-kill-ya?
that woulda made vampires interesting.

April said...

Oh. wow. Which theater?
Ya could have taught Peeps that if she's going to drink a bottle of tequila then she should do it in a park. Grass is softer and cleaner than the women's restroom. And you will be less likely to find out. You always find out what happens in restrooms.

Rance Wright said...

Rachelle - ROFL! Seriously! You crack me up!

Love you.

clan of the cave hair said...

I didn't realize it was bad etiquette to stare at falling down drunk people! Now I know.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

I thought you were going to say you taught her the lesson of what happens to you when you drink alcohol, but you taught her about how to properly stare. HA! You are so funny!

kweenmama said...

I found your blog through a comment you made at "The Cheek of God." Glad I did. This was a funny story! :-)

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