My Two Rascals-So just my thoughts!

December 31, 2007

Okay so I don't do much of this...like write my thoughts and stuff unless it has to do with a picture. But I was thinking about this year and I just have some thoughts. This year has been so crazy for our family. MountainSport Man is going to school and we are living with my very patient parents! I have to work...pretty much full-time for benefits so that MSM can go to school full-time and concentrate on grades and getting through school as quickly as possibe! I have always worked one way or another, but when we lived in West Jordan I had the opportunity to stay home with my kid (DCar) while MSM worked. I didn't think I would like it very much...I thought...to be honest...that it would be boring. Now that I have had to start working full-time and I have done it for a year and some...I can pretty much say...without a shadow of a doubt that I LOVE staying at home. Once I got the hang of staying home and realizing all I could get accomplished in ONE day...I started having FUN. NO..I didn't make money...but I was my own boss...I prioritized my day and I accomplished SOOOOO much. I managed to clean something, do laundry, work with DCar on his letters, sign language, or reading, play with DCar, go to lunch with a friend, go grocery shopping (or just fun shopping), put DCar down for a nap, read, pick up after DCar, and have dinner made (okay most of the time) by the time MSM came home from work. I embraced being a mom and a homemaker and I am telling you now...it was my calling. Since going back to work, I have realized what a blessing that was! I miss it! Don't get me wrong...I love that I am blessed with a job that is flexible and I can work my schedule around my kids, but they are missing out on the full mom that I can be. I know other women can do it...and they are much more organized and stronger than I am...but I am finding it hard to be a good MOM and a good EMPLOYEE. Trying to manage both I feel that no matter how hard I try, I'm letting one or the other down. I don't get as much done during the day when I work because I have to sit behind a desk. I get home and am exhausted and so I am definitely not giving my kids the quality time that they deserve...on my days off I want them to be just that...days off. I suck...and I am sucking at juggling both. I know I have to endure until MSM graduates...but it has been hard. But it has helped me with one thing...I totally appreciate and will be forever thankful when I can be "just" a Mom again. It is definitely hard work but work that makes me happy. I LOVE my kids...I love the joy they bring to me in my life...I love even the trials that they bring...it's a struggle, it's hard, and I definitely mess up ALL the time being a MOM...but I LOVE everything that comes with it...even the tears...and believe me there have been a lot of them! I can't wait until I can be a full-time/stay at home Mom again! I miss my kids...even though I see them all of the time.

So I made these collage's because I got these pictures taken of them and never was able to show all of them...so even though these are old...here are my two little Rascals...I'm very partial, but I think they are adorable! DCar is 5 and loves to laugh, play any video game, and ride anything with wheels! PeePs is 2 and loves to color, play dress up, and do anything DCar does! So ENJOY! Oh and have a good NEW YEAR!