Monday, August 16, 2010

Direct me in the right direction, thanks in advance...

I get up really early in the morning. Like, spooky early, in the morning. And let’s just say... I may be a bit paranoid, or that is what the experts may or may not say...

I’ve been doing this for about 4 years now and the paranoia hasn’t lessened. If anything, it gains speed with each passing day I have to wake up and get into work at a time that even the night animals are resting their heads.

I have had, I SWEAR, people follow me. Those times I’ll circle around the town until I lose them and then head into my work parking lot. I've become an expert at "losing" them when they turn off a street and proceed to stop following me.

I check under my car to make sure no one is going to hack my Achilles tendon... because, ya know, that would suck.

I look in my windows to make sure no one is going to surprise attack me from the back seat.

I keep my headlights off until I back up, and then, and only then, do I turn on my headlights but just the ones that shine the orange on the sides because I don’t want to wake my babies as they sleep innocently in their beds-which as resulted in some various nicking of some trash bins and other random things left out that may be somewhat close to the driveway I back out of (my back up sensors don’t pick that kind of stuff up--so it can’t really be my fault--I still have sleep bugs in my eyes at that time in the morning no matter how many times I absently rub them to focus more)... Just sayin.

Anyway... there is one thing, that no matter what, and I even KNOW it’s coming, I still give a little yelp (more like a horror movie scream) when it happens.

The stupid BUGS! Gah! It’s like they know my schedule and they set up a surprise attack every time. They’re smart those little bugs. Real smart.

They change time and position so that I won’t know where one of them will sneak out of a crack, or rock, or from a tree, and head straight for me!

I realize I’m the bigger part of the circle of life in this scenario. The only thing is, I never even attack back. I just scream like a 3-year-old girl and side step whatever is coming my way, and run like I’m about to be murdered, to the door of my work, where I frantically try and pull out my ID to get in!

Never fails. Even writing this, I realize that tomorrow it will be the same.

I would love to pick up the security camera tapes that record that every morning. I keep checking on YouTube because it HAS to entertain someone!?

What kind of phobia is this do you think? I’ve asked Google, but nothing. I’m thinking I don’t have the right search terms- CRAZY BUGS PLAN ATTACK ON HUMAN FEMALE EVERY MORNING- IF THEY CATCH HER MAY BE PLANNING SOME SICK KIND OF RAPE OR EVEN WORSE A SLOW TORTURE FOR A REASON UNKNOWN TO THE HUMAN FEMALE-all I get is alien movies and this is my REAL LIFE people.

So I thought I’d ask you guys what you think? Blogging is therapeutic, and true, and I know that there is someone medically or psychotic enough to understand what I’m saying and direct me in the right direction for help.

Thank you in advance,

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