Monday, June 7, 2010

Finding my Niche... or not... or...

All through the blog conference, when I'd sneak in to snatch a picture of the speakers, the theme was to find our own Niche.  Wait, that should have quotations around it, like this, "Niche".  Because that is how I referred to it all weekend.

Problem is people, I have none.

I take pictures, but I'm not patient enough to teach people how to, or I think, would want to listen to MY advice?

But I kept thinking about it... and thinking about it... and thinking about it, until it drove me absolutely bonkers.

I screamed in my head, "I have NOTHING to contribute!"

So I started asking friends what they thought my "niche" was.

You know what the common theme was?

Bathroom stories!!!

I'm not kidding people. That is what they said.

Me: "So I'm desperate to know what you think my blog 'niche' is".

Them: "Oh Shelle!" hahahah they would laugh, "you are the Queen of bathroom stories!"

I would think in my head, "WOW--I'm really and truly pathetic. This just solidifies it."

The thing is. I HATE going to the bathroom, I HATE public restrooms, for the very fact that really STRANGE things happen to me. I'm pretty sure I've said all of that before in another post.

Anyway--why fight it.

I can't make big bucks off talking about bathroom etiquette but maybe I can still teach, and maybe, just maybe... someone with a twisted and sick brain, will get me! :) *fist pump*

So I have this thing with that hair, ummmm, down there. The correct term I will teach my children someday is *whispers* pubic hair. But for now we will refer to it as the "Hair-Down-There"--kinda like in Harry Potter, how they call Voldemort "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named". Yea, it's really annoying and long to type, but it's classy, and I'm all about classy.

I've gone off on a rant.

Back on topic: I dry heave if I see something similar to The-Hair-Down-There, especially when it's NOT attached to where it is SUPPOSE to be attached.

I'm thinking I'm normal.

Anyway, I went to the bathroom at work the other day and rusedh in (because, AGAIN, I had been holding it WAY TO LONG) and run in to the ONLY bathroom stall available, and sit down, cause that's what girls do.

I do my business, and get up, and then I SEE it.

Yes... I see...a hair, that looks oddly enough like a Hair-From-Down-There (aaackkkk!!!) shaped as the FIRST letter of my name!!!

After I finished dry heaving, and worrying about dying from some disease, I began to wonder if it was too odd of a coincidence!

Was the universe (as Crash would say) trying to speak to me!?

Was it trying to pat me on the back and say, "Shelle, you shall not die of any disease".

And does the Universe speak like the scriptures?

I was so confused by this phenomenom that I wasn't sick anymore.

So... if you ever see a Hair-From-Down-There on a toilet seat that you have just sat on, distract yourself by wondering what it's trying to tell you.

And that is my lesson for today.

Your. Welcome.

Does anybody else have a suggestion on what they think my "Niche" could be?

Love,

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