Friday, January 30, 2009

I might just very well die because of this...

We bought this digital camera a few years ago...the one requirement I had is that I could also take pictures underwater because I think pictures underwater are HEEE-LARIOUS!!!

So we found our little Olympus digital camera.

As I was wandering through photos I found these ones we took when we first got the camera! And I wasn't disappointed.




Is there a way to look gorgeous underwater? Really? Somebody? HELP ME???



I MIGHT just die for putting this picture up. My Husband may actually kill me. But it's worth it...

What kind of wife would I be if I just went through life without the adrenaline rush of my husband planning my imminent demise?

So If I don't have a blog post up on Monday...call 911 if you know me and know where I live...if you see me in the Obituaries...you know who to suspect...okay!??!

Somebody?

Is this thing on?




I don't know? Does my daughter look like she is enjoying herself? :)



Now this picture was taken in waters over in Hawaii in Crash's domain and i didn't even KNOW her then...but I was there, within walking distance to her house...I'm sure, and didn't even know it!!!

There...we are even...right MountainSport Man? Right?

Now go check out others at Candid Carrie's...see if their husbands are plotting anything?

Oh...and then jump over to Crash's new Magic Quilt site...probably the best idea ever! I'm going to get right on sending a piece of fabric over with my story so that I can actually do some good before I die! :)

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Part 2-The moral of the story is...always pay up on your debts!!!

I'm going to continue the story...even though I should have stopped where I stopped.

Oh and sorry I didn't give you a HUGE warning about how disgusting it was...but have ANY of my bathroom stories been all that clean or sweet or even somewhat digestable?

Sorry.

If you need to catch up, part 1 is below this post.

So I KNEW in the back of my mind that I needed to yell for help.

But I didn't. I just sat there, on the top of the counter, with my knees up to my chest and my chin on my knees and looked on in shock.

The water evenutally stopped coming down, and there was a nice puddle of greenish-brownish...(Well, use your imagination).. around the toilet, but that is about it...

While I was sitting there, contemplating suicide or at least a quiet escape, there came a soft knock...

knock, knock, FREAKIN' knock.

I stiffened, froze, HORROR struck...I thought, "If I don't move, don't say a word, maybe they will go away, maybe...just maybe...a HOLE will open up in this sink and swallow me...OH PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE bless that a hole will swallow me...PLEASE, I won't ask for another thing in my LIFE...Just PLEASE get me out of this!!!"

But...this was to be a lesson to me...what lesson? I still have no idea!

"Uh, Shelle, is everything all right? I think I heard the toilet clog...do you need some help? You flushed it a second time so it probably flooded huh? It's my fault, I should have warned you that if it didn't flush to just to leave it for about 15 minutes and then it will flush down...I'm sorry..."

CONNOR!

"Connor?"

"Yea, do you want to unlock this so I can see the damage?"

I started crying, and not pretty crying where it slowly rolls down my cheeks and my wide blue eyes glisten in the light...

No, nothing like that...

But SOBBING...UNCONTROLLABLE...UGLY crying.

"Shelle?" he laughs, "don't cry...it's really not a big deal. It happens all the time. Just unlock the door and I'll give you a hand with it."

He LAUGHED at me...if I had dared to let myself out of that bathroom I would have thrown my skinny body-chicken legged self at him and clawed his eyes out..."Are you out of your MIND!!!" I yelled, or something similar to that statement, "there is no WAY I am letting you in here to see this mess...it STINKS, and I'm totally EMBARRASSED already...so FORGET it! Just tell me where the cleaning stuff is and I'll take care of it!....please"

Then nothing...it's like Connor abandoned me.

"Connor?"

Still nothing. CRAP! Was he going to get a spare key to open the door? Was he going to get his Mom? CRAP! Where was he? What was he doing?

I was hiccuping at this point...my eyes were red and swollen, and my fair Irish freckled skin was blotchy...the only thing I had going for me was that I had worn water-proof mascara!

I think I sat there for a good 10 minutes while my FECAL matter sat puddled around the toilet, (linoleum floors...so that was good) and the water was slowly receding inside the toilet bowl.

And then, like after any GOOD cry, my brain started to function again. And I thought it was time to look for cleaning supplies...but before I could HOP down off the counter, Connor came back and started playing with the lock and in 3.2 seconds the guy had the door opened and was smiling at me!

I jumped down from the counter...feet splashing in the puddle, because it would have been to SMART of me to jump even 2 inches forward so that I didn't hit the fecal matter puddle..."AAAAACCCCKKKK! CONNOR! Get out!"

And then he just laughed! Like a gut wrenching laugh! And turned around to grab some supplies he had brought with him to clean up. "Please Connor...let me clean this up...please leave...your KILLING me here!"

And as if I hadn't said anything at all...he just began to clean it up. I, of course, helped him, humiliated and grossed out.

It didn't take long...and the toilet flushed...THE TRAITOR...as soon as Connor began cleaning, so all became well again.

Until Connor got up from cleaning the last of the puddle. He just smiled at me and said, "You do stink!" scrunched his nose, then went out in the hall and grabbed a pair of sweat pants and continued, "so put these on, give me your pants, and I'll wash them with these rags. And NO worries, this is our little secret...but you will owe me..." then winked, turned, and walked out the bathroom door.

Okay, he didn't wink...but he did leave me as I sputtered after him saying, "What do you mean I will owe you? Like pay for damages? Owe you how?"

He just closed the door.

He never did tell my friend. And luckily she never asked questions that night.

But as we drove home together the next day...we almost crashed because we were laughing so hard because I honestly can't keep stuff like that in...everything seems funnier in the light of day!!!

Doesn't it?

I honestly can't tell a short story! I'm sorry!

Moral of the story: "Never go to the bathroom at a cute guys house period! Risk dying or going to the emergency room! And ALWAYS pay up on your debts...because that actually was ALMOST worth the whole thing..."

ALMOST... Okay...it was WELL worth it! But if I had to go back and do it again...I would have found another way to OWE Connor...

Love,

Shelle

P.S. And sorry about yesterdays post...I fixed the spelling errors, but you have to realize...I write my posts and post them, I rarely return to see what I wrote until later in the day. Flatuation is not even a word and neither is unevitable. *hangs head in shame*

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Me and Bathrooms don't mix... part 1

I think it's about time that I tell you of another bathroom-HORRIBLE-experience I had.

It may explain the reason why I hate going to the bathroom so much.

Because HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, EMBARRASSING things happen in bathrooms...things that will be shown on the BIG SCREEN movie of my life for everyone to see...totally humiliating.

I wonder when the movie of your life is showing if it is under a certain category. Like those people that have lots of tragedies in their life, if it will be like--JANE'S life showing in 5 minutes...a short two-heaven-hour drama, you might want to bring a tissue for this one?--

Like for my life. SHELLE'S life showing in 20 minutes...a long 10-heaven-hour COMEDY on bathroom and bodily function mishaps...you won't want to miss it, it will keep you laughing for days!

LOL---that would be kinda funny... :)

Anyways,

I feel if I get it out now...and explain the situation to those that may care or may be embarrassed because their names are attached to mine, like my kids...maybe people and my kids will have pity on my?
K they were like 4 and almost 2 here...OH I LOVE IT! :)

I was at this guys house that I liked.

A. LOT.

We can call him Connor. Connor was hot...hot body and hot hair. The guys locks were prettier than mine...and the thing that made him MOST sexy...is he didn't even care, he was rugged. I remember him like this:


And since I don't have a REAL picture of him...I've borrowed this Abercrombie and Fitch model to show you what he kind of looked like. :) Your. Welcome.

Connor lived in an older house. Him and his family lived their since he was born and he knew no other home.

I was over visiting him. I had to travel to his parents house so they invited me to stay there. I want to say that Connor liked me back, which is why he convinced his parents to let me sleep over...and I was just ENOUGH wicked to want to do it! lol!

It's was probably around 10:00pm. And we had just decided on a movie we wanted to watch. All I remember is it was a comedy...not much for a romantic atmosphere...but it wasn't like we could do much because I wasn't the ONLY one sleeping over...my friend was with me--SHEESH guys---what kind of girl do you take me for?

Well, we had Mexican food for dinner...Cafe Rio, (one of my FAVORITES)--and my stomach was starting to tell me that it needed to dispose of the stuff, and soon.

Being the lady I am...I had been holding in my flatulence for some time...and my belly was starting to protest. EVERYTHING in there seem to be cramping. So just putting in the movie and before getting settled down...I decided to go to the bathroom.

I should have stuck with my chances of bursting my appendix or stomach or something...because what happened next will be embedded in my mind for all time. I still get a little sicked out when I think about it.

Remember I'm in a old house.

I find the bathroom, let myself in, close the door, LOCK the door, and proceed with business.

Which went along nicely...no need to fret with that. But I will say, I emptied out a lot, one of those really good ones where you feel 10 lbs lighter.

Then I flushed.

IT started swirling around VERY slowly...

And then NOTHING!

I softly, under my breath, said, OH CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!

Then I'm stuck with the decision...Do I flush again? Or do I wait a minute and see if all of sudden the toilet decided to do its job and flush itself?

Then I thought PLUNGER!

Okay, no problem I thought to myself, I'll just find a plunger and for PEACE OF MIND, plunge the toilet then flush again.

I frantically start ripping open cabinets.

NO PLUNGER!

CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!

So...I did it guys...I attempted to flush again.

I KNOW!!! WHY would I DO THAT???

I was Desperate...OKAY! I was desperate...and not thinking straight...out of my mind CRAZY!

Then the WORST of possible WORSTS happened. The stuff didn't go down, but slowly made it's way to the top of the toilet bowl! Like, slow motion slow, like it was taking its time for my inevitable doom! Laughing at me...mocking me...

It finally creeps to the top of the toilet bowl and creeps its way over the side!!!

And then it was like time caught up to me and it started FLOODING the bathroom...and I JUMPED on the counter!

All I could think was..."Only yuck, gross, disgusting people clog toilets! When I yell for help, and unlock the door, I might as well have warts and a GREMLIN face because that is what I will look like to them...they will be completely disgusted with me..." As I sat there in complete shock...somewhere in the back of my brain I knew I needed to call for help!

Pause...this post is getting long.

I'll finish my story tomorrow.

Love,

Shelle

P.S. Would you have made a second flush?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Does that mean I am NOT busy because I blog?

Have you ever heard, "I"m too busy to blog"?

Have you?

Because I have.

And everytime I hear that I have to think to myself...while I curl up my fingers to the point where they are white knuckled and the blood has ceased to fight it's way too them...I think, "Oh are they saying I'm NOT busy?"

And not in a particularly good way. All sorts of sarcastic remarks spring to my mind...many which are not nice...and since being mean doesn't BECOME me...I bite my tongue, sometimes drawing blood, and just smile.

I think it is because they don't get it. And they don't. Any number of my BBFF's would have to agree with me when I tell you, blogging is a release to be what you may or may not be in REAL life.

You can get your thoughts and ideas and imagination out there. It's a sort of therapy...but also a social group.

I love getting online and looking in, and checking out, the lives of my REAL life BFF's and also my Blog BFF's and I'm going to admit...I have Blog BFF's!

But, it's not like I spend hours upon hours EVERYDAY on the computer? I write my post...I check a portion of blogs, comment, and I'm done. I laugh, snort, cry, and take pictures on a Blog Across America...and I only BLOG when I have something to say. Believe it or not...that's pretty much everyday!

I am definitely addicted to it...but it's not like a drug addiction or a food addiction...I don't wake up, CRAVE to be online, forget about a shower...stare hoplessly at a screen and live my life through other people, because my life is just TOO hard to bare?

I get up (and if I don't have to work or be anywhere)...get online, I don't shower because I don't FEEL like it, I stare at the screen with HOPE not hoplessness...sheesh...because I think maybe, just maybe, if I dream it, read it enough, it will come true.

Does that mean I don't have a life?

HA! You crazies...in fact it means I DO have a life...HA!

All kidding aside...unless you walk a mile in my blog...don't judge.

I have a life.

It just includes blogging...which has lead me to meet the most incredible, funny, and unique people.

Some I have had the pleasure to meet in REAL life...and the others? I don't doubt I'll meet sometime in the near future.

So blogging is addicting, it takes some of my time, but not all of it. I still have time to be a Mom, go to work, shoot photography, choreograph, visit the sick, do my Visiting Teaching, go to church, read my scriptures, say my prayers, sleep, help my kids with their homework, pick my kids up from activities and drop them off, worry about my weight, have girl dinners-lunches-or weekends, go to the movies with my Husband, do OTHER things with my husband, and fit in some exercise.

If my kids are surviving on Corn Dogs and Cereal? Who's to say its because of blogging?

Love,

Shelle

Friday, January 23, 2009

Where my family goes from Somewhat Respectable to Redneck White Trash...I love it!

This is my Brother, I deem, The Traveler. He's the oldest of my OLDER brothers. He's a perfectionist and has always had all is ducks in a row.

But the times I LOVE him most is the times when he is NOT perfect...

He had the opportunity to take part in raising me...lucky guy. He taught me responsibility and to always have a plan A,B and C.

That is his KMART model look...he's perfected it. Mine rallies his though, I should have been a KMART model...oh well, that time has passed...

Okay, so he TRIES to be evil...but he can't be, he's totally NOT evil in Anyway. He didn't even KNOW about French Kissing until he was closed to being engaged??? And he didn't get married until he was 31...What the What? I'll never understand that...(Sorry Heidi, but it's just so FUN to French Kiss!!! In my HUMBLE opinion!)

But like I said, I love when he gets surprised, when the unexpected happens to HIM...

So the FAMILY Christmas party I planned we had a FIESTA. What's a Fiesta without a pinata? In my world of ignorance...it's NOTHING without a Pinata. So we had ONE pinata for the kids...FULL OF SUGAR treats and cheap penny toys...they LOVED it.

We filled the adult one with MONEY. Cash and Change...but we didn't tell anybody about it. We wanted it to be a surprise...catch everyone OFF guard. And THE TRAVELER was NO exception!

As soon as my Dad swung at that pinata and money went FLINGING EVERYWHERE...my family went from Highly respectable family...to REDNECK WHITE TRASH! (And I mean that in the MOST respectful way :) )

It was Glorious! Then at the mad scramble for the money...my brother--my perfect, reliable, and handsome brother...slipped on ice we had covered up with the tarp and fell...so UNGRACEFULLY and UN-Perfectly! And I caught the after math on CAMERA!!!

Flat on his back--at least he can still smile at himself...the pants next to him is Suns Fan #1...he was asking if The Traveler was okay...now watch...

He's laughing...everything is good...

Still laughing...Suns Fan #1 is pointing his finger and the black coat with skinny jean legs is The Traveler's wife...notice she is turned around still trying to nab some money! :)

Okay he's getting up...

This is my White Trash Redneck Family...The only ones paying attention to THE TRAVELER is either pointing at him and laughing...or just plain laughing.

The Traveler's wife is showing the DOLLAR she nabbed...

The others? They are all still attempting to pick up whatever LOOT they can get their grubby hands on...notice the left hand side of the pic...my BIL who I talked about in my FIRST KISS story...he's on his 6'5" hands and knees SCRAPING for a nickel...or maybe a quarter! *shakes head*

The Traveler is flexible...we are a PERFORMING family...here is he is in a FULL lunge stretch!


I hope it didn't ruin his coat...maybe we should have warned him about the ice? Or maybe about the money so he wouldn't have been so EAGER to be the first to the scene of the Pinata LOOT?

OHMYGOSH...I LOVED IT! It was the best pinata party EVER!!!

Now go to Candid Carrie's and join with your OWN pictures!

Love,

Shelle

Thursday, January 22, 2009

One witty comment and our OWN bloggers choice awards!!!

OKay...it's that time again where I put up another one of those funny phrases that I got through an email and you guys tell me what YOUR honest reaction would have been if it was YOUR significant other...

I honestly laughed so much last week when we did this...I just have to do it again!

So in lieu of my anniversary in a couple of weeks...I thought this one was HILARIOUS!!!

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started.....

I would probably have to stand there for a minute and fight not laughing...but then I would say something like, "AAAAAhhhh how sweet, YOU actually MADE something for ME??? I'll take my chances with a restaurant though."

Not the best, but the best I can come up with right now, when I'm fighting some sickness I'm sure my kids brought home for me! LOVELY right?

Totally off topic, but...

I have a GREAT idea...We should start our OWN blog awards. They ACTUALLY have blog awards...like the Golden Globes, but for bloggers. People nominate blogs and then they are voted on. Total popularity contest...They are called THE BLOGGERS CHOICE AWARDS


Does that mean, if you are NOMINATED for these blog awards that you have MADE it?

And I didn't quite understand what they got as their award? Whatev... I was looking through the categories and I feel I only fit into ONE specific category...

BEST EDUCATION BLOG--I mean, think of all the etiquette lessons I've given. When I looked at what blogs were up for that...they had blogs that taught SCHOOL stuff? Weird right?

Anyway,

I feel like the blogs I have been reading are TOP NOTCH...that you guys are not getting the appreciation you should be...I read some of the FUNNIEST people...yet THEY weren't nominated for any blog awards...but they SHOULD be nominated...just not ENOUGH people KNOW about them...

HeLK I didn't even know blog awards existed until I read on someone's blog to go vote for so and so to win this COVETED blog award???

Anybody with me!

*Tap Tap*

Hey is this thing on?

Anybody?

*crickets chirping*

All right, never mind...

Wait....

I lied, I guess you CAN still nominate, for 2009!...so don't be surprised if some of you are nominated in the HOTTEST MOMMY BLOGGER or HOTTEST DADDY BLOGGER category...I like to think I only surround myself with the most HOTTEST of bloggers...ya know?

K--love ya, and don't forget to put your witty comment down...I can't wait to hear what you would have done BEFORE the fight started!!!

Love,

Shelle

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

MY first kiss/french kiss/make-out!

Crash and the rest of the girls over at her place who are blogging across America totally PEER PRESSURED me to tell my First Kiss story…so I'm totally blushing right now, but I don't want to be the Party Pooper…

So this is going to be a longer post than usual...feel FREE to skip this one…I'm anything if not completely THOROUGH in my telling of important life events…and believe me, this definitely falls into that category…so HONESTLY…you don't have to read ANY further!

It's funny, first kisses…

When I met the guy that was to be my first kiss I was 12.

I was infatuated/obsessed/admired/looked up to my older sister Dance Masta, for as long as I can remember. I wanted to be EXACTLY like her. I remember sitting in the bathroom while she got ready to go out…I thought she was the PRETTIEST most BEAUTIFUL person EVER!

So when she introduced us to her boyfriend, now husband, we will call him Trey, (Pat you would of loved him, he played for BYU Football until he did something awful to his spine!), of course, I thought he was the most PERFECT guy in the world. I just KNEW I was going to find someone EXACTLY like him…my 11-12 year old heart wouldn't think any different.

So who better than his younger brother who was my age? Kevy Jay.

I met him at one of Trey's Football games. I fell for him and I fell hard!

I just KNEW he was going to be THE ONE (like I knew I was suppose to marry him! ). I was way into boys at the time and TOTALLY appreciated the male body at a very young age, and KJ had a great body…even for a 12 year old because his GIGANTIC Norseman looking brothers had him lifting weights as soon as he could walk, I'm sure.

As long as I had known KJ he always had a girlfriend and she was usually a blonde.

That didn't deter me.

Growing up with 3 brothers to surround me I was one of THOSE girls that were thought of as a FRIEND more than a girlfriend. I didn't mind…truly I didn't, guys were SO much easier to get a long with and a lot less drama. I didn't want to really get serious with any guy and since KJ lived 5 hours away from me, he was put somewhat on a pedastal and I put all my crushing on him…so I was never really tempted to even WANT to be a girlfriend…if that makes ANY sense at all.

When I was 13 I had an experience were I was dared to go in a closet with another boy, that I didn't know, to kiss. He was more than willing, but for SOME reason, in that moment, I didn't want to give my lip viginity up to just anybody, and within that closet, at the YOUNG age of 13…I decided I only wanted ONE guy to be my first kiss.

So I turned my cheek to the guy in the closet (who always held a grudge after that…sheesh…if I would have known kissing was SO MUCH FUN…I would have let that guy kiss me…a lot!)

So after that I just kept myself a FRIEND to all the guys I hung out with, and made sure to keep just enough distance between me and any guy so I would be just that…a FRIEND. I did have some guys profess their NEED to kiss me…but I never did…I waited for KJ, to drop his blonde girlfriend!

FREAK it took a long time! But we WERE really good friends. Any chance I got to go and see him, I did.

I definitely liked him more than he liked me(you have to know I HATE admitting that)…and I never EVER told him I liked him…but everyone KNEW I did. How embarrassing right?

SO 5 terrible, horrible, unkissed years later it was New Year's Day, or it could have been New Year's Eve Eve…I honestly can't remember…and UNLIKE Crash…I couldn't find my Journal.

I was 18.

KJ was blonde girlfriend-less-ness…and we were both at my Sister's and BIL house…

We had slept in the same room MANY times because we were "Just Friends". I was going to take the couch and he was going to take the floor.

I don't know HOW I ended up on the floor next to him, which was again pretty common we WERE friends, but all I know is he turned off the T.V. and we just started talking…I had snuggled up to him, because we did that, and we just talked.

I looked up to him because all I remember is he had said something to make me laugh and I wanted to see his face…and then he said something similar to, "I think I'm going to teach you how to kiss…" or something like that. I'm sure it was WAY more Romantic like, "I've been DYING to kiss you for at LEAST 6 years…" lol.

And then he just did…kiss me…I didn't even have time to say YES or NO…which told me later that he KNEW I wouldn't say NO. But who cares about PRIDE when you are kissing for the first time?


I do remember the instant butterflies in my stomach and that his thumb was rubbing my cheek in small circles which gave me GOOSE BUMPS everywhere...and I DO remember that his first kiss was tenative and soft, yet strong, like he was very sure of himself, which he had every RIGHT to be, but he wasn't quite sure what I would do as a reflex :) I don't remember details after that...HELK...you couldn't ask me to remember my name!

You guys, it was absolutely worth waiting for!

Of course I had NO idea what I was doing, POOR GUY, but I enjoyed my lesson in kissing immensely and he didn't just teach me to kiss but to FRENCH kiss also…and one kiss turned into TWO and TWO turned into THREE and you get where I'm going.

We honestly kissed for hours. I couldn't get enough. We would kiss and then talk and snuggle and kiss and talk and learn, there was a lot of learning…he taught me quite a bit, and there was a lot of laughing because we WERE friends ...

and I can honestly say I LOVED him for that…for always being my friend even though I'm sure he knew all those years how much I adored him!

We did that(kissing/making out) for WELL into the morning hours and I didn't get much sleep…

but WHO REALLY cared…I got my first kiss/french kiss/make-out in ONE fell swoop!

After he broke the dam I was a kissing slut! I loved it! And KJ was an EXCELLENT teacher.

And you will never guess, but it is actually his Birthday today!!!

Happy Birthday KEVY JAY!!!

He is married to the most BEAUTIFUL blonde girl, I never had a chance…lol

... and we still DO hang out and we really are GOOD friends…and I still totally ADORE him in a very different way then I did then…but we will ALWAYS have that KISS! :)



Here he is...a recent WAGER among friends! :) For your birthday! You're Welcome!



Don't mind me saying OH MY GOSH like 5 times...you should have caught on that I say that A LOT!!! lol!

Love,

Shelle

P.S. Now it is your turn!!! Spill the beans!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

What we discussed in my comment box yesterday...you totally missed out!

HELLOHA!!!

WOW...what a big day in history!

I mean, I CAN'T believe it actually happened...that this is ALL for real!!!

That I can actually live and be a part of something so EXTREMELY big...

My first day sober from feeling guilty about food I eat.

What? You thought I was talking about our 44th president of the United States being sworn in?

Yea, guess that is pretty monumental also.

But anyway, I put HONEY on my Raisan Bran today and almost felt guilty about it...but if you have seen the BEE movie. You will KNOW...honey is good for the WHOLE earth...and I contributed to that today. I feel SO good about myself!

Now...I haven't eaten anything else today. But already I'm off to a good start.

My gym pass, as I found out yesterday on my way in to Pilates, has expired. That puts a MINOR dent into my NEW self, because I went home and ate some leftover Halloween Candy, because thanks to HER(Shannon) and her comment in my comments, I remembered where it was...but that should be easily fixed and I can be on my way to a better me!

It was nice to read everybody else's vices...I mean, I'm not going to lie, it made me REALLY hungry, but I endured. Annette and Heidi both have my Donuts vice...and Kristina P. and Wixom Zoo have a problem because ANYTHING with sugar makes them feel guilty...poor things, they must feel guilty ALL THE TIME. Not April though, she allows herself two TWIX's a night. Yea, ummm, my body wouldn't allow me to do that...lucky girl!

STEPH--she has a good thing going, she gets a WHOLE bag of CHOCOLATE CHIPS and eats a few here and a few there...does it count if I eat a few here and a few there and finish the bag a FEW hours later? HMMM...Sara doesn't even THINK chocolate is a guilt food, she believes SALAD is...a girl from my own heart!

Amanda, Nutty Hamster Chick, Kelly, and This Mom--all have something in common...they LOVE In-N-Out (Not April, she doesn't really even like hamburgers...what the what?) and I am going to venture and say they all at one time lived near an In-N-Out and then moved far away from one. I guess I take those things for granted...suckas!!! But it helps me in a way that I WON'T feel guilty eating one for the sake of THEM! Love ya GUYS! Tiff well she just likes anything FAST food...I feel her pain..she also hides the evidence and so does BINKS' "friend" (totally funniest comment of the day!).

Aubrey loves her some McD French Fries...I mean, WHO DOESN'T, Mama Belle and Wendy (who thinks skinny people are on cocaine) doesn't even specify...they just likes French Fries period, but I have to agree with Aubs...I like the McD ones and the ones from Red Robin, just saying!!!

Clan of Cave Hair and Crash--they both agree that pop is the thing to feel guilty over...it just hurts my throat. Crash admits though that she doesn't really eat a lot of crap! Hello, we are trying to be supportive of one another, NOT try to one up each other Crash...you are lucky you are my twin or I would have to do what I did to BLOGGING MAMA and cyber space DROP kick you because she stood up and ADMITTED she was skinny and could eat ANYTHING she wanted!!! Can you believe? I mean...social etiquette is clear on this one, that you SYMPATHIZE with the majority...sheesh!!!

Don't worry you two...I don't think you are on cocaine...I just am jealous and envious of you guys behind your back...I do the same with my friend in REAL life, Brooke...she's WAY skinny, but healthy...crazy!

Now Kritta--she has to go and mention a guilty food that I have never heard of...which is UNHEARD of...Muddy Buddies? Anyway, I expect when I meet her in Real Life that she has a bunch of those ready for me to try...did you write that down Kritta? Don't want to chance you forgetting or something!

Well, I'm one day down, and can't believe how GREAT it feels to get all of my addictions out on cyber space. I mean, I even helped Kate and her sister (Shannon) have something to talk about for the day...how helpful am I? I have to say that Melinda was quite the lady during our group discussion...she made sure to raise her hand and announce herself...thanks Melinda!

T. brought up something TOTALLY off the subject...as she is want to do...but she made a good point and something I need to clarify. Any story I write...feel free to spread it around...I consider you ALL close friends and when I am talking to MY husband...I always say, "guess what happened to my friend?" or "Can you believe she EATS that?"...so I expect the same from you guys!!!

Now question...how many days do I have to be a sober no guilty food person to start giving seminars on it and making millions and millions of dollars helping other people?

Think on that and let me know! Thanks.

Love,

Shelle

P.S. I'm off to make chocolate chip cookies to give to my "friend" right out of the oven...thanks for the reminder McEwens!!!

P.P.S. How cute...Sandi didn't believe that I have lost readers over posts...seriously sweet...but uh...yea, it's sad but totally true!

Monday, January 19, 2009

I think I'm an addict

YOU GUYS!!! Is it pathetic to feel like I am included in a great group of BBFF's? I'm rarely serious, but it doesn't mean I'm not seriously passionate about things. A few times I like to express things that I am absolutely passionate about and get somewhat serious.

Every time I go to click that PUBLISH POST button I get nervous about what replies I might get or how many FOLLOWERS I might lose...

But reading your comments to yesterdays post, seriously, you made me cry. I love that people FEEL the same way as I do...I LOVE that!

I use to blog because I LOVE to write. I blogged because it was an out for me to express things that I had a hard time expressing out loud and in REAL life. I blogged because I wanted to write down experiences, like a journal, for my kids to read later.

And I still blog for those things...

But I also blog now, and find myself getting on my computer over and over again because, I like the PEOPLE I'm connecting with. Like long lost friends that have been missing from my life!

*Tear*

Okay, enough blubbery, blubbery...

I have something extremely important to address.

Do you have GUILT foods in your life?

I do.

Food is my VICE. I love it. But I also have food that makes me feel GUILTY, like I've done something extremely EVIL. And not in a GOOD way.

So here is my guilt food...Donuts and Hamburgers...I instantly feel bad after I've eaten them...like a really GUILTY CONSCIENCE sort of thing.

No lie...

And I was just wondering if I was the only one?

Or is it just "soft people with extra layers of fat to protect their perfectly skinny body, who have been dieting for more years than their 3 year old can count, even when they WERE skinny"? It's like if I give in, I feel that I have NO self control...is that how a addict feels?

Does that mean I'm an addict? Oh my HELK and TAMNATION...I bet it does...I'm a total addict!

Do skinny people have food guilt?

Not skinny people that throw up or starve themselves, because I don't even begin to understand that...I love FOOD way to much!

But always-been-skinny-carry-a-hamburger-in-their-purse skinny, do they have guilt food?

I can't imagine they do? What does that say about me? Is that totally pathetic or what? Am I NORMAL?

So many questions...

Well, had farking (thanks binks) IN-N-OUT the other day and can't get over my SHAME. So I have to blog about it...to talk about it.

Thanks for being there in this time of need and support... :)

Love,

Shelle

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Standing in Holy Places

Serious Sunday Thoughts by Shelle...or as serious as I get :)

At a dark time in my life, well not really DARK persay, a little gray, I can't honestly say I've really had a DARK time...but I guess it was a time for me to question. I questioned what I had been taught my whole life, I questioned how worthy I wanted to be, how much a part of what I had been taught my WHOLE life was really how I wanted to live it, what I wanted to study, who I wanted to become.

Gosh I think that a lot of the time I am flopping around life like a fish on the shore flops for water, for its breath. Trying as hard as I can to be a person I truly want to be.

A good person, and person that other people feel comfortable around, can smile with, and can open up to who they really are.

So it was a GRAY time. A time that confusion was always a partner for me. I was sad...a lot.

So I began to study the things I was taught. Not study them in a negative light, but a light of respect that it should be given. I studied it from points of view that gave it more understanding. That helped me answer my questions...but not from someone who was ignorant in what they were saying, or who had some vendetta to accomplish, but from sources and people I trusted.

And I learned...a lot. And although I still have questions, because in our human nature, WHO DOESN'T...I am firm now in what I know, understand, and believe...and I can say I HONESTLY am truly happy.

So I'm shocked when I read around the blogosphere about how some people feel about the religion I LOVE. I guess from the outside looking in we are perceived some of the time as being CRAZY or BLIND FOLLOWERS...somewhat like a cult. *shudder* I am crazy, I've already admitted to that...but...

From the inside looking out...I don't feel that way, like a cult. From some of the dictionary references, cult is probably a correct term...but CULT in the English language is preceived as a bad thing. I am still an independent thinker, and like I said, always question...and can you believe that not all answers I get are even BLACK and WHITE...some are left unanswered...but it doesn't matter. From everything I've learned, and from the witness I've gained...I just rely on Faith, and Hope, and thank goodness, MERCY.

So even though the WORLD's values change and adapt it doesn't mean I have to. I have to choose to follow the rest of the World or choose to follow what I believe to be true. If what I believe is being attacked it doesn't make me change my mind about it, if anything, it makes me stand taller and stronger in it. So if that makes me a CULT member to my religion, then I guess I am, but does that mean that everyone else is a CULT to the World? :)

Who knows.

I just know, that I love this song...and it says in music what I am TRYING to say in this post...

I leave you with the words of the Chorus:

I Stand In Holy Places,
And I will not MOVE,
Until the Captain comes
And says Well Done,
It is the HOPE I hold onto...



Hope you had a good Sunday! I did!

Love,

Shelle

Friday, January 16, 2009

Is there anything sexier?

I can't think of anything sexier than a GUY's Guy who LOVES his child. As I have the blessing and opportunity to shoot families I always marvel at the Candid shots I get with a Dad and his child.

I've been very lucky to shoot Dads that are TOTALLY involved with their children. It's humbling to watch...and I can venture to say, even sexy to watch.

I am being completely honest when I say the following shots were Candid...they weren't staged...and most of the time I was probably shooting someone else at the time, saw the father playing with their child, turned and took some shots, and then continued on with whatever I was doing.

I excluded MountainSport Man and my kids...I thought someone else needed the spotlight for a bit! :)













I think one of my favorite and I believe TRUEST quotes is, "Anyone can be a Father, but it takes a REAL man to be a DAD!"



Oh sorry, how did THAT picture get in there? I swear!

And YES I realize that I am focused on the weeds and not on the people...which is HONESTLY why I love this shot!

Now jump on over to
Candid Carrie's for a Friday Foto Finish Fiesta.

Love ya all,

Shelle

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Come ON...what would YOU SAY?

I'm stark raving HUNGRY right now.

Physically and well mentally...

You guys are smart...you guys KNOW the answers to the unresolved questions.

And since I only have like 5 minutes and .32 seconds to write this post...it's as good of a time as any to just ASK you a question. I got this hilarious email entitled, "And then the fight started..." and I think it would be fun to keep the joke rolling...or see what we can come up with in response to these.

Here is one...

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's dang near perfect.'

...and then the fight started...

I want to know what you guys would say as a retort!

Come ON...if a girl doesn't have her mind and wit about her...what is she REALLY good for! :)

Like I would have done this...

Smiled...Turned around...counted seductively as I walked toward him, 1...2...3..., licked my lips, and then KNEE HIM IN THE NUTS!!!

Now what would you have done?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Do you wish you were a boy sometimes?

Was looking at the last few posts and have realized that they have been kinda LONG.

Sorry I promised I would work on that.

ANd it isn't because I don't have INTELLIGENT readers...because HEY, hate to boast but I have actual WRITERS that read this blog once in a while...and if you are a writer you are a reader...right? Can I get a wha-what! WOW...haven't said that phrase since 1999...creepy...but whatev.

Anyway, it's just if you are like me...you like to be in and out. Kind of like a guy and a one night stand.

So, I'm just going to relate a quick conversation I had with my daughter on Monday.

Me: "PeePs, do you wish you were a boy sometimes?"--there is a long reason why I asked this question...the short version is her ONLY real friend is her brother...and sometimes his friends won't let her hang out with them because she is a girl.

PeePs: "No Mom, me no wish I was a boy. I am a girl!"

Me: Relief--"Oh good, so you like being a girl! :)"

PeePs: "Yes Mom." in a giddy 3 year old voice.

Me: "Right because boy's have COOTIES huh!" never to young to start their training.

And then she gave me this face and said:



PeePs: "Yea...and weiners!"

Wow! She's a quick learner! How can I keep her repulsed of those until the time it is safe for her?

Monday, January 12, 2009

I have the SIGHT or the Sixth Sense or...

I have THE SIGHT. I've always thought I might have the sight, but nothing I have ever seen or dreamed have really ever come to pass, that I remember anyway, and I THINK I would remember.

But I was immature when I was young and dreamed that I was a princess who ruled the land and everybody loved me because I let them eat ice cream after 4pm. *Gasp*

Then I realized that as I became an adult that I could eat ice cream anytime I wanted...so that doesn't really count.

So my SIGHT back then was a little of but I've always had somewhat of a sixth sense.

Like, when I was in YOUNG WOMEN'S and they were giving away this SUPER cool craft with all the YOUNG WOMEN's themes and colors on it...and I wanted it REALLY bad...and then...as she was drawing the name from the vase in the OTHER WARDS closet, I had a VERY strong feeling that she was going to draw my name...so as she began to pull out the paper with the name on it and said, "The lucky girl is..." and I shouted, "SHELLE BLOK!" and she looked at the paper and smiled and said, "Shelle Blok!"

And they all laughed and giggled and said things like, "what a coincidence."

And I would smile and look at them, but smugly, in the back of my mind, I would KNOW that I KNEW that I would get my name drawn because...I'M IN TUNE!

Well, recently, and I think because I watched all episodes and seasons of MEDIUM...which, by the way, freaky-freaks me out, but I feel as if I'm starting to get the SIGHT and the SIXTH sense thing down.

We had our Stake Conference this last Sunday. And our Stake Presidency is being re-vamped.

And if MountainSport Man and I are consistent at ANYTHING...it is missing Stake Conference. I mean someone was bound to say they MISSED me and call me to let me know who the NEWLY beloved presidency was. Or my Rent's would tell me because...well...we live in their basement.

So knowing I was going to miss Stake Conference on Sunday, I stayed up WAY late to read my UBER special and intense book, which I cannot name because I don't want people to sin and judge me.

That night....er...Sunday Morning, as I laid my head to sleep I had a VERY vivid dream.

All kidding aside.

I honestly dreamed of a certain person, we'll call him, Joe Stake President (JSP), being IN the Stake Presidency.

It was SO real and so vivid that when I woke up the next morning I instantly had to roll over to tell MSM.

But he wasn't there...he was up, making breakfast for the kids, and letting me sleep. What the What?

How insensitive that he would be up there making them breakfast when I had serious things to tell him.

So, I got up and found him to tell him that I SAW a certain someone, JSP, in my dreams being announced as someone on the Stake Presidency.

MSM: "Sweet." Raised eyebrows. *Crickets chirping*

*TWO HOURS later*

My Rent's come home from Stake Conference and announce who was on the new stake presidency. That's right...JSP was!

I totally CALLED it!

But I wasn't surprised...just honored that I finally honed my SIGHT Seeing, Sixth Sense skills.

Although, I always have dreams of being instantly rich and my husband wakes up to have an original Austrailian accent...

I don't know...it just seems like someone's trying to tell me something. :)

Anyway...

Question real fast.

Talking about SIGHT, or lack thereof, why when you go to a DRIVE-UP ATM do they have braille lettering?

Love,

Shelle

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Next time Peeps Is staying with the RENTS!

I wanna lie and tell everyone that I'm a REALLY active person and I LOVE to be outdoors being really ACTIVE.

But that would be a lie.

And although I like to stretch the truth once in a while if it is going to benefit me...I don't lie.

Like the year 2007 where I practically ran 4 days a week because someone said I would eventually become addicted. Let me just say...every day, STILL, I hate running.

SO...

I'm not really that ACTIVE of a person. I exercise...but then I'm done being active for the day.

My husband and kids...they LOVE to be active. MountainSport Man right NOW as I am typing this post, is out riding bikes with the kids and kicking soccer balls at the school. They LOVE that type of stuff.

They are always ganging up on me to be a MORE active participant in these kinds of break away activities. You see...I have planned it out REALLY well...

They all have bikes...

I don't.

Not EVEN an old one that can be fixed. We just have MSM's UBER expensive bike and the kids' bikes.

No bike for me.

ahhhh...too bad. hehe

So I always just say, "Sorry, Mom doesn't have a bike...can't go with you guys. You go ahead and I'll just sit here and find something else to do...won't be as FUN as what you guys are doing...but I'll manage. Now go have fun!"

And I push them out the door on their merry way!

I think my husband has caught on...because he is always on KSL looking for bikes that are for sale. I'm running out of excuses, besides the price--I can always fall back on the price, why I don't want the particular bike. SHHHH...

Yesterday I got COERCED into driving an hour to find snow on a mountain to PAY to snow tube. That's right...PAY. Because there isn't enough snow in the city to tube down a hill on.

Let's just say I had a LITTLE fit. Pouted the WHOLE way. Didn't want to spend my Saturday, wasting it, by being active.

But my kids and husband REALLY wanted to go...and I'll have to admit...when they all give me the look...I simply can't refuse, it would be blasphemous if I did...I would be struck by LIGHTING!

So I went...so that I could maintain my quality of silky hair and not get fried by lighting.



We drove, we got there, we paid...and then HELK if MSM was going to get the first ride...even though the mountain TUBING courses were HIGH and I was terrified...I wasn't going to let HIM get the first run...so I went. And to be honest, you don't have to be that active...a line PULLS you up the mountain and you ROLL off the tube when you get to the top and a person unhitches your tube and then you ride down the mountian and leave your worries, and your stomach at the top!

If you look really close...Yep, I have a smile!



Totally was enjoying myself.

No...the snow stuff wasn't long enough for me, and my hat kept riding up my head because I wore a dang pony tail...but I did remember the sun glasses so the wind wouldn't hurt my eyes...I'm smart like that!


And so was MSM, having a good time...

He forgot his sunglasses...SUCKA!


and DCar, he LOVED it...

even though they gave him a warning for hitting the tubes at the top, apparently that is a NO, NO, but he didn't mean to, he wasn't quite sure how to control his speed, his poor little feet had a hard time slowing him down, couldn't reach the snow when he was trying to hold onto the tube!!! lol!...

PeePs however, decided she wasn't old enough to go on the MASSIVE mountain. So she sat in the tube and was freezing. She gave me this smile:

But then when I told her I wanted another one, she wouldn't give it to me the BRAT!

See what I mean!

Or maybe she was just REALLY cold...either way.

Then when I asked if she wanted to try the mountain yet...this is what she did!


Then you know what she did?

After my SECOND time down the mountain...she informed me that she PEED in her snow suit!

That's right...PEED. After the big fit I had...I decided I would help PeePs out instead of making MSM do it...WHAT THE WHAT? I must have had Altitude sickness...I mean, I'll NEVER be that dumb again...but I was then.

Of course at the lodge they don't carry under wear...or emergency toddler peeing essentials. So I drove around looking for a store of some kind, found her some DIAPERS and a $32.00 pair of sweats (the cheapest around) to change into.

By the time I got back...our two hours had 5 MINUTES left. So I went one more time...raced MSM...we tied. JERK! Couldn't even let me WIN after all I missed out on!

Then headed home.

AAAHHH...good times with the FAM. Seriously can't beat them.

No really...I had a good time. Next time, and I vow there will be a next time... (anyone want to come and race me?), PeePs is staying with the Grandparents!

Love,

Shelle

How was your weekend?

P.S. If you have wanted to follow my PHOTOGRAPHY blog I FINALLY put up a follower thing. Like anyone really WANTS to...but thought I would put it up because I know how much easier it is to follow someone then to have to keep checking to see if they UPDATED :)

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Recorded Historical Moment for ME!!!

Okay I TRY to keep my PHOTOGRAPHY blog separate from this blog.

Kinda like TWO separate worlds or something.

But, I also want to let you know what the WHAT I'm doing now and again.

Record history I could say.

Well something Historical happened...

I did my FIRST studio photo shoot!!! It was literally 4 hours of complete bliss. I was like a kid in the candy story!
The guy holding the girl...the instructor...he's amazing. Just letting you in on that!

This kid could do practically anything on his hands...he might be 11...maybe...





Okay, these boys...they are freakin' adorable. And YES that is DCar on the right hand side.


If you couldn't tell by the photos it was for a HIP-HOP studio here in my town...and I actually take HIP HOP class from this studio. Most of the time I am just a GEEKY white girl trying to get my GROOVE on...

but these lovely subjects let me yell in their faces..."Oh, can you do that ONE more time...didn't quite CLICK when I should have"

When Really...I just wanted to see them do it again and again...these kids were amazing, as well as, photogenic!

So there you have it.

Now go over and join Candid Carrie for Friday Foto Finish Fiesta

Then stop by my TWINS site for her Retreat! Super Deep Thoughts and UBER craziness going on over that...so get the HELK over there!

Love,

Shelle

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Being afraid of the Dark

I wasn't going to post today because I didn't have any ridiculous bathroom stories that I needed to tell and I didn't want to shy away from my theme after only 2 days.

But, I got over it.

I use to be deathly afraid of the dark when I was younger.

It felt like when the lights turned off I could feel the darkness around me like a living, breathing, thing...it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up just thinking about those feelings.

Now the only thing that makes my hair stand on end is when I realize my stomach is getting old and I can't "Put it Down" like I use to...SCARY!

I attribute a lot of those feelings from being allowed to watch America's Most Wanted at a very early age...things happen in the dark...terrible, horrible, things. I believed it when my Mom said that the Holy Ghost goes to sleep after Midnight...only mine seemed to go to sleep after the Sun went down.

I couldn't even sit and enjoy any kind of beauty OUTDOORS...camping or whatever (Camping=whatever), because I knew that just around the corner...something was lurking and evil and scary.

When I would get home to an empty house, which was pretty rare because there are 6 kids in my family, including myself, I would turn on every light in the house so that I couldn't even look at darkness in any remote corner!

As I've matured, or gotten lazy, I tend to find peace in darkness now. No running around like a crazy person turning on lights...it exerts too much energy!!!

At night in the summers now, I'll go out and stare at the HUGE expanse of stars, along with the every changing moon. Who knew it was so incredible? I can see the beauty now that the moon highlights while it's out to shed whatever light it can on the Earth below.

I can't TELL you how many times I've cried by myself in the dark...crying in the light just isn't as heart felt...or pure...or as pretty. When I cry, I want to be alone, I want to feel every emotion that I pour out, I want to concentrate. Crying can be very exhausting!

Plus, I'm not a very pretty crier! I like to be honest here at BlokThoughts.

Another good thing about the Dark? Make-Out sessions. They are only good in the Dark...with just a tad bit of light! They had it right in the old days...there is just something sexy about candlelight and kissing someone!

Excuse me while I reminisce...

I'm back! Body only...mind is still somewhere in the years 1997 and 2002!

Moving right along :)


I wish I could capture the light that the moon brings to the darkness of night. This shot here on the Left is of the Moon and if you look below a bit you'll see a "star"...that basically looks like a white dot...

There were Many stars out...but I can't seem to capture them...this however, was the brightest. I BELIEVE it was a planet..

Hold a sec...let me Google it...

Standby...

Okay...that white DOT there you see...has been confirmed as the planet Venus.

I love Google!

Whenever anyone asks me any kind of important question, my answer is always, "Oh let me Google it!" Who needs a memory when you can just let Google retain unwanted information that you can retrieve at the tip of your fingers?!!!

If that power EVER ceases to exist...I'm screwed...I'll be just a Homo-Sapien with nothing in the brain but mush...which is what I am now, only I have GOOGLE, so I pretend I know a lot!

Wish I would have invested in that stock when it was just starting out!

Here's another look of an attempted Night Shot...With the Temple as a comparison of light...seriously, I love it! Thanks to my Dad and a frantic call from my Mom...I was able to capture this shot :)

Love Shelle

P.S. Who's still afraid of the dark? Come on...who is?

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Public Bathroom Etiquette Lesson 2

I've come upon something that needs to be addressed.

I have filled you in before about certain etiquette's. In the bathroom where I talked about the "courtesy flush" and on an airplane where I talked about the "length of a seatbelt".

But this weeks seems to somehow have a theme that has to do with things pertaining to going to the restroom...or at least TRYING to go to the restroom but NOT QUITE MAKING IT! *shudder*

On top of all of that...my sister and brother-in-law, Suns Fans #1 and #2, tried to be nice yesterday and made CHILI in a bread bowl. Talk about doing something CRAZY to your bowels...Seriously, there is nothing like reminding your stomach that it doesn't like CHILI by eating a BREAD bowl of it!

Next time I venture to eat Chili...will someone remind me that it is a BAD idea?

Yea, Thanks much!

Anyway.

Really fast we need to go over another PUBLIC RESTROOM Etiquette lesson.

I'm going to admit that I didn't feel the need to strain this particular lesson BEFORE the other day...but I've had enough...it's happen 1 to many times...and when I say one to many times I mean once!

I was appalled and embarrassed enough that I felt I needed to tell the masses!

Okay.

Here is the rule...

No talking on your cell phone in the bathroom!


Seriously.

Not kidding!

Here's me the other day in the bathroom...I mean you KNOW I think going to the bathroom is a WASTE of time...I abhor it!

But I couldn't hold it any longer and HAD to go...I was NOT going to be another Target Lady! Ya know what I mean?

So I rushed to the bathroom and proceeded to get over my Public Bathroom Stage Fright and try to relieve myself.

***In walks co-worker***

She goes in the stall, not next time mine (must have read my Courtesy Flush post), and you hear her doing what she needs to do in order to sit on the toilet.

Then SILENCE...

Then:

Co-Worker: "Hello?"

Me: Why in the heck is she talking to me? I don't recognize her shoes? I don't think I know her? Maybe she needs toilet paper? "Hello"? ...I respond.

Co-Worker: "Hey! How are you?"

Me: What the What? Feeling somewhat awkward now I say, "I'm fine" chuckle, "how are you?"

Co-Worker: "Are you kidding me? He did that last NIGHT?!!!"

Me: UH-OH--she isn't talking to me...she is talking on her CELL PHONE!

Now I'm HUMILIATED. How was I to get OUT of there without her noticing who I WAS??? I was going to have to run home and change my shoes...because if I got out of there without her seeing me through the bathroom crack in the stall...she was definitely going to notice MY shoes!

And you KNOW she heard me answering her questions while she was talking to the OTHER person on the phone! You KNOW she did!

I SOOOOO hate public restrooms!

Can't you for 1-5 minutes NOT talk on your cell phone? Is that lady SO important that she HAS to have her phone while doing her business in the bathroom?

I mean COME ON guys!

I am making it a RULE...an etiquette of the bathroom if you will!

Please spread the word...because after I got over my embarrassment of the episode, I had to share it with my co-workers who sat around me, and we LAUGHED until I couldn't breathe...

So it was good for something....BUT...

For the sake of others. Keep your cell phones put away while on the toilet.

I mean, my MIL totally flushed hers down the toilet, so it can be dangerous to cell phones also!

Your.Welcome and Thank.You!!!

Love,

Shelle

Monday, January 5, 2009

Fecal Matter...Don't You Hate It When!

Okay the following is a true story.

However.

I warn you that you might not want to be eating when you read this.

Or STOP here if your stomach gets queasy easily.

Are you still reading?

Then don't blame me for any sort of vomiting or dry heaving you experience.

Because just writing this makes me go though recent memories that I have pushed, shoved, and tried to erase from my psyche...but feel the only way to fully do this is to leave it behind me, or on this blog, where forever it will be written down and taken from my mind.

As Nutty Hamster Chick recently told me which was somewhat prophetic, "A blog is forever"...and it is forever, until you delete it, or until the end of the world comes. But I feel a part of what I have written down is recorded elsewhere to be in records that MAY be forever...ya know? So I feel she knows more and feels deeper than most Nutty Hamster Chicks and I am good with blog aura's, and hers is the purest from...so I trust her deep thoughts.

So as part of my therapy process I am taking this buried experience and bringing out for all to read so the story will continue...and maybe help someone else...because I'm giving that way.

This story is TRUE, and most definitely, a DON'T YOU HATE IT WHEN story, in its truest form...

Don't You Hate It When... One sec...I just vomited in my mouth...

Okay, I'm good...

You are walking into Target and your husband grabs your arm...to the point of bruising...to hold you back because if you took ONE MORE step you would have stepped into a LOG of POO!



NO LIE!

My husband saw a lady darting towards the Men's Bathroom, when to HIS horror, a LOG of POO rolled out of the pant leg of the women rushing in front of us to the bathroom.

grant it...she had somewhat of a limp...

But...

She didn't miss a step or acknowledge that she had just dropped fecal matter in the path of my soon to be step! What the what?!!!

I stood there frozen, queasy, yet frozen.

Looking down and with utter disgust I said, "Eeeeewwww she just poo-ed on the floor!"

(I know, I feel ya MOM!)

I know...I like to point out the obvious, its what my husband says is one of my most endearing qualities.

At that same moment she walked OUT of the Men's Bathroom...I stared at her, she looked at me, then walked straight down into the Women's Bathroom.

At that point I felt bad for her. I did. But I couldn't wrap my brain around it.

I don't understand...when it's a LOG of poo...isn't that an easier think to hold in? I mean, I get diarrhea, or water poop, as Peeps calls it, but a LOG of poo? To roll down your leg, out your bum, and down your leg? Your sphincter would have to open up for that to happen right? Sorry to get all vulgar, but it's true. It just seems to me that she would have been able to hold it until she reached the bathroom? Even if it was the Men's. Poor Thing.

But I don't know? She did have a limp...and I know, no one in their right mind would do that on purpose...duh!

Then I was hit with a dilemma.

Do I tell the employees? Because if I tell them are they going to think it was me that had fecal matter roll out my pant leg? Would they think I said someone else did it, but it was really me? Like when someone let's a silent one go...then waits until the first person smells it and lets them say, 'Eeeewww who farted?" and then they say, "The first one who smelt it dealt it?"

Should I risk it?

As I turn around and see a beautiful blonde girl on her cell phone, in her own world, talking as if the whole world and myself, along with my husband, wasn't watching her hoping with all hope that she doesn't step on the log before I can warn her off...

I knew...I knew, *sigh* that the day before Christmas Eve, Eve, was just as good as a time as any to swallow my pride and let the Target employees know.

If I had been in my right mind and not feeling the after effects of dry heaving I would have realized I could have just had my husband do it...

Oh well.

Now the employees at Target give me weird looks and whisper behind their hands as I shop there...but I feel as if I did the right thing...ya know?

Please tell me you Hate when that Happens? What would YOU have done?

Love,

Shelle

Happy Monday, right?

No worries...I have a post in drafts that I shall post tomorrow about Public Bathroom Etiquette!

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