Thursday, May 21, 2009

This Explains my LIFE... DVR anonymous

Uh...Hi... My name is Shelle.

I'm a DVR addict.

Everything I watch I record first.

It makes me feel empowered.  I don't have to watch the show when THE MAN (People who run the TV Scheduling) tells me… I watch it on my OWN time… so TAKE THAT!

So when I watch something like American Idol, a show that must be discussed with various groups of friends and co-workers, I usually find myself watching it in the LATE hours of the night or WEE hours of the morning… because if I don't, someone always SPOILS it for me.

So for ALL OF YOU THAT HAVEN'T WATCHED YOUR RECORDED AMERICAN IDOL… I'm going to spoil it for you in a minute so you might want to come back AFTER you've watched the show.  On your OWN time of course...

I've been HOOKED on phonics with this season, as I was LAST season.  I completely blame my friend from West Jordan, Deb, she made me feel sorry for her that she had NO ONE to talk to about the show so I started watching it with her the season Carrie Underwood won… and my opinion has been needed ever since… sigh.

But if I didn't DVR it now that I know about DVR, I'd never make it through because I can't stand commercials and I can't stand Paula's comments.  They drive me bonkers! 

I've already told you I'm not a patient person… so not only is everything she says FLUFF but she takes 5-10 minutes to explain herself… while in the meantime I found myself wanting to grab needles and stick them in my eyes!  Just being honest.

But then I got DVR… I can skip right over them.  It's lovely!

Same with commercials.  I'd be fine if they didn't repeat the same ones OVER and OVER and OVER again.  I have a hard time watching my favorite movies more than ONCE!

Except for Dirty Dancing… something speaks to me in that movie… I think it's the dancing, definitely not the dirty…

Anyway…

We DVR'd last night's show.  

I got a couple of texts asking me if I was watching it LIVE.

"NO!"… I text back… and they got the point because I wrote it just like that… if you aren't an expert texter, that means I'm yelling at you when I put it in caps… and when I add the exclamation point it really drives the point home that I mean business.  They are all so scared of me when I do that...

So my text messages were pretty quiet after that.  Except for the one I got from a DIE HARD KRIS FAN that said, "What the Helk?  You'll know what I'm talking about when you watch it!" at about 8 ish .  

Me, being sleep deprived, thought "I can't believe he just GAVE it away!"  And then threw myself on the floor and began a tantrum, cause there is nothing I hate worse than someone ruining the anticipation of watching a show I've DVR'd, to watch especially on my OWN time...then my husband reached over and slapped me "it's only 8ish he hasn't even seen the end yet!", and all became right again.

So it was a GREAT finale… and we are literally 1 minute from hearing who the winner is.  We watched the WHOLE two hours minus commercials… okay AND minus Rod Stewarts performance… after he almost tripped for the second time I HAD to fast forward it… but we watched everything else!

Then my Mom walks into the kitchen upstairs talking to my sister, and her voice is one of those that carries, and she says, "I can't believe KRIS won!  Adam was definitely the better singer and performer."

I curled up into a fetal position, sucked my thumb, and screamed "WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!" in my head 100 times... really, really fast!

And that explains my life. 

Who wants to take the floor next and make sure to tell us your name and why you are addicted to the DVR.  We'll take this addiction one story at a time.  Thank you.

Love,


Shelle


P.S.  Did you check out Darrell???  What's sexier than a MULLET?

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