"Changing my Lifestyle"=Going off chocolate...will I survive? Part one!

I wrote a post over here...check it out if you like to read about people getting hit by a ball...

And I still need ideas on what to do about my sister and our "war"...read this if you are behind...or it's actually the post right beneath this one...so not too hard! :) Not get to thinking!



This image taken from this delectable website: The cookie Jar and Company



I have to tell you something…you know, get it off my chest. It's a LONG story…so I am breaking it up in two parts…

here is part one...

Why is it whenever one goes on a diet, or "changes one's lifestyle", my ones CRAVINGS comes out of the wood work? And then all sorts of crazy things start happening.

For example, and I may or may not know or be this person, let's just say I have started eating better, or tried to have a desire to eat better…and when I say this I mean take CHOCOLATE out of my diet! I know…don't keel over…it's an atrocity, I know, women's right to eat chocolate and all that--don't worry I haven't joined a cult or anything…yet.

So 'this person' keeps craving brownies! BROWNIES! This person hasn't had a brownie since this post…in which the person tasted a brownie that was designed and thought of from the greatest angels in heaven….hmmmm…WOW, just thinking about them I can taste the perfect minty chocolate aftertaste….

Oh…

Wait…

What was I saying? Oh yes, Chocolate…

So I have to tell you what happened to this 'said' person…

oh who am I kidding, you all know it is me!

So I wake up the other day and start my day like any other day. I slowly but surely pull myself out of bed, or get poked and prodded and mauled until I am forced out of bed, at 3:30 in the morning. It's time for work!

I, of course, immediately run into the bathroom to go pee…because that is what one does after they have children, they pee ALL THE TIME and it's annoying and a total waste of time!

I make a mad dash to the bathroom so that I don't pee my pants…and NO LIE, while I am peeing I can smell BROWNIE. My mouth instantly starts watering…I can almost taste it…

'This is RIDICULOUS' I thought to myself…'Shelle you are totally losing it!' Which I had, because NO ONE had made brownies. My chocolate deprived body was going into relapse or something, it was wanting to prove to me that my MIND was definitely not stronger than the needs of my starved-chocolate-veins!

So I get done with my business in the bathroom and walk upstairs to the kitchen…just to SEE if somehow someone had gotten up at an asinine hour of the morning to cook brownies. It could happen right?

Wrong.

I hung my head in defeat…

I slowly started to descend the stairs back to my room to get ready for work. I was mumbling to myself…'Brownies, who smells brownies while they are peeing and then rushes up to the kitchen to see these self-prophesied brownies, that don't even exist, and now I can't even smell, are miraculously there... stupid, stupid, Shelle…I mean REALLY!' all of this with my head down, not paying attention.

When all of a sudden I run into a brick wall…not literally, but figuratively, because when I looked up there was MountainSport Man holding a plate of brownies with the light of the moon slashing across him to show him with a pasted Stepford Wives grin on his face and an evil swirl to his eyes.

To be continued to part two later this afternoon...come back, you'll never believe what happened!

Shelle